Karma In Buddhism: Sowing The Seeds Of Love

Karma In Buddhism: Sowing The Seeds Of Love

In modern times, we use the word karma in many ways. ‘Ain’t karma a bitch’—meaning what ‘Goes around, comes around.’ It can also refer to the Golden Rule from the Hebrew and Christian Bible: ‘Do unto others what as you would have them do unto you.’ But, in the context of this article, we’re dealing with ancient times, and going back 2,500 years to India where the Buddha lived and taught. What is karma in Buddhism? Do we have to believe in reincarnation for karma to be relevant?

 

Karma is a Sanskrit word that literally means ‘action’ or ‘doing’. In Hinduism, it is believed that everyone is trapped in samsara (an endless cycle of birth-death-rebirth for eternity). The concept of karma in Hinduism describes a system in which beneficial effects are derived from past beneficial actions, and harmful actions create misery in your next lives. However, what was considered as a beneficial action was in the hands of the highest members of the caste system, the Brahmins. The Brahmin priests would perform a ritual on your behalf and that would bring you better karma for your next life. The problem was that if you were of the lower castes, even merchants, common laborers and especially the untouchables, that option was not available to you. You were trapped.

 

Karma in Buddhism

 

Along with The Four Noble Truths and The Eightfold Path, the Buddha repudiated the ancient concept of karma. The Buddha said that the ‘intent’ of the action is more important than the action itself and anyone, no matter what caste, had the power to change their own destiny by doing good deeds with the intention of caring. So each individual could change their destiny, not only in this life, but in future incarnations. It was a complete democratization of karma. In essence, the Buddha revolutionized ethics. With karma available to everyone, action and intention had real consequences. Essentially, it means that we are in charge of our own moral condition. The buck stops with you: your destiny and moral condition were no longer controlled by the whim of the gods or the rituals of the Brahmins. 

 

So answering the two questions I posed above, ‘What does karma mean in Buddhism?’ It means helping others and performing good deeds with the pure intention of compassion. ‘Do we have to believe in reincarnation?’ My answer to that is ‘No’. We can live in the present moment during this lifetime and help others. This requires no belief in reincarnation.

 

Related article: The Noble Eightfold Path: Guidance For Life’s Challenges

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Your mind is the garden

 

Before we can sow seeds of compassion, we must take care to choose fertile ground on which to sow. That means that we must act with an open heart and the right intention. Our mind is like a field, and performing actions is like sowing seeds in that field. Virtuous actions sow seeds of future happiness and non-virtuous actions sow seeds of future suffering. These seeds remain dormant in our mind until the conditions for them to ripen occur, and then they produce their harvest. 

 

We all have a lot of garbage in our lives. We can use that garbage as compost. We all suffer, but we must not allow our suffering to prevent us from seeing all the miracles of life. If one tree in our garden is sick, we must tend to it carefully, but don’t ignore the rest of your garden. A well-tended garden will bear life-sustaining fruits and vegetables along with beautiful blossoms that soothe the soul. Although flowers are impermanent, like us, it makes them all the more precious. 

 

Other ancient religious texts such as the Bhagavad Gita say that the secret to life is ‘to act well without attachment to the fruits of your labor.’ Most of us have heard ‘The road to hell is paved with good intentions.’ This extremely cynical view on good deeds may actually warn us to be very careful on how we approach and conduct our actions for the good. But we must act with good intentions. It is our intention that matters. If you are helping others and giving of your time, do not do so to gain ‘brownie points’ or recognition for your ‘success’. That is not karma. Real karma in Buddhism comes from a place of compassion for the suffering in the world. When we commit to something, we will experience some measure of failure as well as success. If we focus only on the results we will become discouraged and devastated. 

 

We can give our best, create what we can, and trust in the larger process of life itself. We can plan, care for, and tend to but we can’t control. We must let go of the outcome.

 

“Move forward as occasion offers. Never look around to see whether any shall note it. Be satisfied with success even in the smallest matter, and think that such a result is no trifle.” – Marcus Aurelius

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Be a vessel for virtue: watering your seeds

 

Buddhist thought and practice are skillful means for cultivating three basic elements of our own character: 1) Wisdom, 2) Compassion, and 3) Integrity. These are known as The Three Pillars of Buddhism. Buddhists have reverence for all life and this is called ‘virtue’. Our life on this planet is short and goes by in the blink of an eye, but the smallest act of kindness can change the world and if we cultivate integrity and kindness, we pass that on to others, to the next generation. We can literally become a vessel for virtue. Like a pitcher of fresh water we can pass it on to others so they can drink from the well of kindness and water their garden.

 

Related article: Watering Roots, Not Leaves: Cultivating Compassion Effectively

 

Tending our garden: cultivation of care

 

In Buddhism, ethical questions are not framed in terms of good and bad, but on suffering and its causes. Stealing is harmful to us and the wider community. Buddhist training does not view the world through the lens of ‘shame’, of the concept of ‘sin’ or speak of a God who sets moral rules and punishes wrongdoers. Instead, it describes the natural laws of karma (cause and effect), interconnectedness, and who we really are! 

 

Buddhist traditions teach that we are born with an innate basic goodness and inner nobility. There is no denying that all of our actions, words, and thoughts have direct consequences. Often, we judge people by their situation, appearance, and yes, wrongdoing. But Buddhists don’t regard those who do harm as ‘sinners’ or intrinsically ‘evil’. They act from ignorance, and their own suffering. We don’t know what suffering has caused the other person to act this way. Allow me to present a scenario for you.

 

You are at a busy market on a hot afternoon carefully selecting the freshest fruits and vegetables and after your purchase you head home with all your groceries stuffed in a large paper bag. Just as you approach a corner at an intersection, somebody bumps into you, causing you to fall and your groceries are strewn all over the sidewalk and crosswalk. Enraged, you jump to your feet ready to give someone hell. But, just behind you still lying on the sidewalk is a man with dark glasses and a white cane. He is blind. How quickly you change from raging anger to genuine concern for the welfare of this poor man. The spilled groceries no longer matter. 

 

Buddhism teaches that wrongdoing emanates from ignorance, delusion, cravings and that people are not inherently evil. In this case the culprit was literally blind.

Bean seeds germinating on a white background to represent an article on Karma in Buddhism

Karma in Buddhism: planting seeds on the Eightfold Path

 

“Plant a green tree in your heart and maybe the singing bird will come.”

 

“Plant a thought – harvest an act

 

Plant an act – harvest a habit.

 

Plant a habit – harvest a character

 

Plant a character – harvest a destiny.”

 

– First Nations Shoshone proverb

 

When we walk and live the Eightfold Path, we can act, not out of aversion or grasping, but as a labor of love. Our actions are a product of our wisdom and compassion, even when the immediate result is uncertain. When we act for the long-term, there will be pressure to take sides, grasp opinions, constantly measure the results, and try to control everything. But grasping is not the way to wisdom. 

 

“When we do the best that we can, we never know what miracle is wrought in our life, or in the life of another.” – Helen Keller

 

Praise and blame, obstacles and triumph will come and go. It is not given to us to know how our life will affect the world. What is given to us is to tend the intentions of the heart and plant beautiful seeds with our deeds. Do not doubt that your good actions will bear fruit, and that change for the better can arise from your life.

 

“Do not depend on the hope of results but concentrate on the value, the rightness, the truth of the work itself.” – Thomas Merton 

 

When our efforts seem futile, we can trust that in another time and place there may be unexpected results. When we are trying to address a problem, improve the state of the world, help a friend, comfort a grieving child, it may seem to be going nowhere. Yet our actions are like planting seeds in the ground. We don’t know for sure when they will bear fruit, and what seems like failure may be a time of gestation. Our work toward the good can be sustained if we don’t measure the success or failure of our actions by the immediate and superficial results. I think that is why I love gardening so much. It is so good for the soul and it teaches us patience. When I am working in a garden, I am totally in the here and now—without trying to be.

How to practice Karma in Buddhism

 

“It is for us to pray not for tasks equal to our powers, but for powers equal to our tasks; to go forward with a great desire forever beating at the door of our hearts as we travel toward our distant goal.” – Helen Keller

 

“To see things in the seed, that is genius.” – Lao Tzu

 

A person with little financial means or security may say to themselves, ‘But I have nothing to give.’ Oh yes you do, oh yes, we do. Act as if you matter, whatever you do in life, whether you feel that way or not. There are many ways in which we can give. Give away thanks. Give away praise. Give away information. Give away time. Time is a precious commodity in the modern era. Most importantly, give away love. Be kind to others, while including yourself in your circle of care.

 

“In giving you are throwing a bridge across the chasm of your solitude.” – Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

 

Give away information

 

So much of what we have in life comes with great difficulty. And, often, we see others struggle as much as we did. Turn this around, and begin giving others as much help as you can give. We must give with no expectations of return. More likely than not, however, the return will not only benefit the person you are helping, but you will find greater meaning in your own life. For some reason, when you become a support to others you become bigger than you are. Moreover, when people use what they have learned from you, your effect in this world is greatly magnified. 

 

Give away praise

 

Often the people we find most difficult to praise are the ones closest to us—our partners, our children, our parents, our co-workers. A lot of the difficulty comes from anger and resentment. Yet, surprisingly, when we praise the people in our lives, we release this negativity and open the door for their being loving toward us. In relationships, too many of us focus on the negative, and have no difficulty reminding significant others of their shortcomings. No wonder so many relationships don’t last. It is natural that we want our loved ones to be affirming and supportive. It is important to surround ourselves with giving, loving, and nurturing people. You must become what you want to attract; be the kind of person you would want to surround yourself with. The laws of attraction: like attracts like.

 

Give away time

 

In this modern era, time, literally, is the most precious commodity. There never seems to be enough of it. I watch my son who has just become a father (I’m a Grandpa!) tending to his wife and child while working a very high-pressure job. I often wish I could be there to help, but he lives in Luxembourg and I am in Canada. And he took the time to create my own blog for me, which literally is like giving the nuclear codes to a chimpanzee! 

 

When you think about it, our time on this planet is limited, so time is our most precious gift. How do you give away time? Listen to a friend, write a note of thanks, help someone learn, get involved in something bigger than yourself and become a participating member of your community by volunteering your time. All of these take you out of yourself and help you operate from a different part of your being—the part that is loving, nurturing, and abundant. However, it is absolutely essential that you do not take on too many projects and that you leave time for yourself. 

 

Give away love

 

When we let someone be who they are without trying to change them; that is giving away love. When we trust that someone else can handle his or her life, and act accordingly, that is giving away love. When we let go and allow others to learn and grow without feeling that our existence is threatened; that is giving away love. What we often define and perceive to be love really isn’t—it is being needy. Love is generally confused with dependence; but in point of fact, you can love only in proportion to your capacity for independence. The ability to give also depends on whether you think you count or not, so in that respect self-esteem is an essential element in the process. We must love and care for ourselves first and foremost.

 

Give away smiles

 

It takes very little for us to smile. Sometimes, I will be in the grocery store or mall and see people with grim, hostile faces. It is so sad. So I smile everywhere I go and I smile when I meditate. I smile if I am in pain, if I am suffering and eventually the smile brings me back to the present moment. Basically we suffer the most in the past and in the future.

 

Yesterday is but a dream

 

And tomorrow only a vision –

 

But today – well lived in the 

 

Present moment,

 

Makes all our yesterdays 

 

Full of beautiful memories

 

And all our tomorrows

 

Visions of hope. 

 

Final thoughts

 

Giving is flowing outward toward genuine connection and is the greatest antidote to fear. It’s about letting go of your crouched, withholding self and standing tall with outstretched arms. It’s about feeling a sense of abundance. Like any other skill, however, it takes practice. Giving from the position of ‘I count’, enhances this ability.

 

“This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as being a worthy one, the being a force of nature instead of a feverish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making us happy.

 

I am of the opinion that my life belongs to the whole community and, as long as I live, it is my privilege to do whatever I can. I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the harder I work the more I live. I rejoice in life for its own sake. Life is no brief candle for me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I’ve got to hold up for the moment and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it to the next generation.” – George Bernard Shaw

 

In the final analysis, it is kindness, only kindness to others and to ourselves that matters.

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Right Mindfulness & Right Concentration Of The Eightfold Path

Right Mindfulness & Right Concentration Of The Eightfold Path

If I were to define Zen Buddhism, I would do so in two four-word sentences:

 

Absolute attention is prayer.

Compassion for all beings.

 

“Zen teaches nothing. It merely enables us to wake up and become aware. It does not teach; it points. The truth of Zen is the truth of life, and life means to live, to move, to act, not merely to reflect. The truth of Zen is what turns one’s humdrum life, a life of monotonous, uninspiring commonplaces into one of art, full of genuine creativity.” – D. T. Suzuki

 

Let’s review the Four Noble Truths before we begin our exploration of the Right Mindfulness and Right Concentration practices of the Eightfold Path. I define all the elements of the Eightfold Path as practices, because this is not a philosophy. It’s a way of living your life, which entails your active participation and practice. 

Summary of the Four Noble Truths

 

The Buddha simplified the solution to the problems of the human condition into what he called the Four Noble Truths.

 

The First Noble Truth simply stated that human suffering is inevitable. There is suffering. To be human is to suffer. We all experience it.

 

The Second Noble Truth identified the causes of suffering: craving, delusion, and ignorance.

 

The Third Noble Truth was the critical step. The Buddha taught that since there was an identifiable cause for suffering, then there had to be an identifiable method for ending human suffering. That method was the Fourth Noble Truth.

 

The Fourth Noble Truth was the path to the end of suffering, what the Buddha called the Eightfold Path. The Fourth Noble Truth was a systematic approach to the end of human suffering—the dispelling of ignorance and the liberation of the mind. This is the Eightfold Path.

 

Related article: The Eightfold Path: Guidance For Life’s Challenges

 

Right mindfulness

 

Mindfulness is one of the eight practices of this path. It’s the one element of the path unifying and informing all the others. Thich Nhat Hanh writes, “When Right Mindfulness is present, the Four Noble Truths and the seven other elements of the Eightfold Path are present.” All together the eight practices are:

 

Right Mindfulness

Right Concentration

Right Thought

Right Understanding/View 

Right Action

Right Effort

Right Livelihood

Right Speech 

 

“There exists only the present instant; a Now which always and without end is itself new. There is no yesterday, and no tomorrow, but only Now, as it was a thousand years ago, and a thousand years hence.” – Meister Eckhart

 

Mindfulness is always now. The reality of your life is always now and to realize this, and experience it, can be liberating. But we spend most of our lives forgetting this truth—overlooking it, running from it, repudiating it. And for the most part, we succeed. We somehow manage to avoid being happy while struggling to become happy, chasing one desire after another, ignoring our fears, grasping at pleasure and seeking to avoid pain, and thinking incessantly about how to keep the ball going so that we don’t fall apart! It consumes our every waking moment. Sound familiar?

 

As a result, we spend our lives much less content than we might otherwise be. We fail to appreciate what we have until we’ve lost it. We crave experiences, material objects, relationships, only to become unsatisfied or bored with them. Being happy or wishing we could be happy all our lives is illusory. 

 

Right mindfulness of daily miracles

 

Existence is yin and yang, suffering and joy, pleasure and pain, praise and blame, etc. But with Right Mindfulness we can learn to lessen our pain and experience joy. And we can turn our suffering into compassion and joy. Despite our suffering, even on bad days there are daily miracles for us to notice and to fill us with delight. 

 

The problem is twofold. First, we are not grateful for what we have and the experiences we encounter throughout the day. When we are grateful for the daily miracles that life offers us then we begin to feel joy. Secondly, we are so focused on our own problems, we are so bored by our mundane lives that we don’t recognize the myriad of gifts that come our way.

 

So to appreciate what our lives have to offer we need to be awake—we must be mindful. We can’t be grateful for what we don’t notice. With practice we find that meditation or mindfulness practices make our ‘ordinary experiences’ extraordinary. I, myself, have found that meditating, whether walking or sitting, allows me to rest both my mind and body. It’s taking time out from ‘doing’ and switching to ‘being’ mode—simply letting go and following the music of my breath and my own beating heart.

 

How can we become aware of all the miracles of life if we don’t even notice them, if we’re caught in a continuous loop, ruminating on the past, and fretting over the future?

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There’s no fighting in this practice

 

In the beginning, when we practice meditation, there’s no chasing after concepts, but simply focusing on our breath and embracing silence and resting. And when thoughts or emotions arise, simply embrace them with your breath, and gently let them go. 

 

It’s essential to know that there’s no need to struggle—there’s no fighting in this practice. Be kind to yourself, you are trying your best. With every mindful breath and every mindful step, you are beginning a journey to live a good life with meaning. You are beginning on the Eightfold Path. The goal is not to chase after dogma and concepts or seek ‘enlightenment’. In Zen Buddhism, the Path, itself, and helping others who are also on it, is the goal.

 

“The true journey of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having fresh eyes.” – Marcel Proust

 

Mindfulness has become a commonplace practice these days and is used in hospitals, substance abuse recovery groups, in the workplace, and by professional athletes. It’s practiced in completely secular settings and the literature on its psychological benefits is now substantial. There’s nothing esoteric about mindfulness. It’s simply a state of clear, nonjudgmental, and undistracted attention to the contents of consciousness, whether pleasant or unpleasant. 

 

Right mindfulness requires great courage

 

Critics of mindfulness practice maintain that practicing meditation is simply ‘navel-gazing’: a passive enterprise that engages in wishful thinking and is simply a waste of time. However, there’s nothing passive about mindfulness. In fact, it requires an immense effort on one’s part.

 

Rather than engaging in wishful thinking, it requires great courage, for it entails standing in the ground of our own lives without running away from our own problems and shortcomings, without trying to project ourselves into a better strategic future, without resisting ‘what is’ in favor of ‘what should be’. Once we begin to perceive our lives more clearly and the problems that we, as humans, inevitably face, we can find better solutions to our own problems and ways to overcome our own shortcomings.

 

We are all struggling; none of us have gone far.

Let your arrogance go and look around inside–

The blue sky opens out farther and farther,

The daily sense of failure goes away.

The damage I have done to myself fades,

And a healing light seeps through the cracks

When I sit firmly in that world.

You are not alone. 

 

Right Concentration

 

Eventually, by practicing Right Mindfulness, we develop an ability to concentrate, to focus our attention. Then, and only then, can we practice compassion by combining attention with intention for going beyond mindfulness to moral experience. This practice is called loving-kindness meditation. Love is not just a feeling, but an ability. And if it’s an ability, we can practice it. 

 

If we have someone in our lives who is going through a very difficult illness, we say, ‘May this person be loved and protected, happy and healthy.’ You can say it for yourself, too. We need to be compassionate towards ourselves. We can say it for our families, our loved ones. Eventually, we expand our circle of love to more and more people, even to those we do not know. 

 

I live my life in ever-widening circles

That reach out across the world.

I may not ever complete the last one,

but I give myself to it.

Rilke

 

When I first moved to Seoul, South Korea to teach, I became very claustrophobic on the subway. It was so crowded. If I was lucky enough to get a seat, I would wedge myself in between two people and take a quick glance around me at the tension on people’s faces. I would then close my eyes, and practice loving-kindness with a calm smile on my face. I would think over and over, ‘May everyone on this subway car today be loved and protected, happy and healthy.’ It helped me. It actually became a part of my daily routine. But the most remarkable thing was that when I opened my eyes, I could see and feel that a lot of the stress was gone from people’s faces. Some people would even smile at me. Psychiatry has a term for this phenomenon: emotional contagion.

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Right concentration and insight meditation

 

Along with loving-kindness meditation, we may also begin to cultivate Right Concentration by practicing vipassana or what is often called ‘insight meditation’. 

 

My teacher would refer to vipassana as ‘looking deeply’. He also would refer to the ‘energy’ of mindfulness, or to shine the light of mindfulness on something. This used to confuse me, until I realized that he was referring to concentration—the ability to focus our attention on something inside or outside of ourselves for clarity—for insight. 

 

Full disclosure: My teacher was and still is Thich Nhat Hanh. I have never met him but his teachings, his writings, and his poetry were a guide for me in a time of darkness. He has passed away now, but his teachings live on. And he would be the first person to tell you that eventually you need no teacher but yourself. Don’t get caught up in dharma talks, dogma, charismatic teachers, claiming to be ‘enlightened’. Live in the present moment and have compassion for all sentient beings. There’s an old Zen aphorism that says: ‘Do not mistake the finger pointing at the moon as the moon itself.’

 

Related article: Thich Nhat Hanh & The Zen Practice Of Stopping

 

With the simple practices of sitting and walking meditation, one can learn to concentrate, to focus. With this ability to practice Right Concentration, we can look deeply into ourselves to identify our suffering, what has caused it, and how we can best alleviate it. Often, there are no quick answers, or certitudes. Sometimes, it’s enough to accept the mystery of life itself.

 

Let things take their way

 

In Western culture, we are always looking for logical answers to all of life’s questions. In university, whether writing an essay for history, philosophy, or the social sciences we must begin with an argument. We have to repudiate the work of someone else. If we write a master’s or doctoral thesis, we have to defend it against a group of professors. The study of literature is not the appreciation of brilliant literature but literary criticism.

 

In the teachings of Zen Buddhism, a teacher or master, tells stories, leaving the onus on the student to understand the teaching for themselves. A student once complained to his master: ‘You always tell us stories, but you never reveal their meaning to us.’ The master replied: ‘How would you like it if I gave you fresh fruit and then chewed it for you?’

 

When we come to Buddhism, we’re generally in a hurry for answers to all our questions and get caught up in concepts: the meaning of impermanence, emptiness, no-self, etc. It’s best to be patient with yourself. Go at your own pace as you walk the Eightfold Path.

 

Where did my life come from?

Where will it go?

Even the present moment

Can’t be pinned down.

Everything changes, everything is empty 

And in that emptiness, this ‘I’ exists 

Only for a little while.

How can one say anything is or is not?

Best just to hold these little thoughts.

Let things simply take their way

And so be natural and at your ease.

– Ryokan 

 

Harmonizing intention with attention

 

By ending our search for precise answers and by relinquishing our need to defend against and control external factors, we free up cognitive bandwidth. We open our hearts and minds, creating the conditions favorable for Right Concentration. We need this receptivity and clarity to practice Right Concentration—to harmonize our intention with attention.

 

Usually, we wake up in the morning reinvigorated with good intentions. We start our week afresh each Monday feeling motivated to tackle the challenges that lay before us. Classically, we mark January 1st as a day imbued with fresh intentions. But, in all of these cases, we often fail to sustain our intentions. So what goes wrong? 

 

The antithesis of Right Concentration is distraction. We fail to manifest our intentions because we allow all kinds of thieves of attention to enter our conscious experience. In fact, we often deliberately welcome them in the form of entertainment, discursive engagement on social media, and unchecked sensual pleasure. 

 

Zen Buddhism teaches that our innate nature is one of stillness—clear and undisturbed, transparent and reflective, like the mirrored surface of a pristine lake. Naturally, we are like an uncarved block of wood, unaltered by the whittling of distraction. 

 

Right Mindfulness is the spotlight that illuminates our experience. Right Concentration is the aperture we can use to focus the light wherever we choose. Right Concentration keeps distractions, grasping, and aversion in the dark, leaving us with a torch of attention that we can direct towards the truly good things in life. With it, we can illuminate all the simple beauty often abundant in our lives: a fridge full of food, the changing colors of nature, a long car trip with the people we love most. We can illuminate our breath in sitting meditation with the intention to simply experience our existence. We can shine our awareness on thoughts of love and peace for ourselves, our loved ones, and for all beings. We can shine it on our body with the intention of softening, slowing, stopping.

A closed lotus over an illuminated blue background to represent an article on right mindfulness and right concentration of the eightfold path

Meditation is the training ground 

 

For Right Mindfulness and Right Concentration to permeate our daily experience, we must train the muscles of mindfulness. This is done through meditation. 

 

Mindfulness meditation isn’t easy. Practice is the only thing that can lead to success. As every meditator soon discovers, distraction is a pervasive condition of our minds—whether wandering off into daydreaming or falling into negative states of mind. Meditation is a technique for waking up. The goal is to come out of the spell of incessant thinking and to stop reflexively grasping at the pleasant and recoiling from the unpleasant, so that we can experience a mind of equanimity undisturbed by worry.

 

How to meditate

 

1. Sit comfortably with your spine erect, either in a chair or cross-legged on a cushion.

2. Take a few deep breaths, and feel the points of contact between your body and the chair or floor. Notice any sensations associated with sitting—pressure, warmth, tingling, etc.

3. Gradually become aware of the sensation of breathing. Pay close attention to where you feel your breath the most—the nostrils, mouth, or the rising and falling of your abdomen.

4. Allow your attention to rest in the sensation of breathing. You don’t have to manipulate your breath. Your breath will take care of itself. Is it shallow or deep? Does it change as you settle in or don’t settle in, whatever the case?

5. Every time your mind wanders (which will be every few seconds), gently return your attention to the breath. Don’t judge yourself harshly for failing to hold your attention on the breath. There is no fighting in this practice. Be kind to yourself. You’re doing your best.

6. As you focus on the process of breathing, you will also perceive sounds, bodily sensations, and emotions. Don’t push them away. Simply observe these phenomena as they appear in your consciousness and then return to the breath.

7. The moment you notice that you have been lost in thought (this is mindfulness), observe the present thought (I have been lost in thought) as an object of your attention. Then return your attention to the breath or to any sounds or sensations arising in the next moment.

8. Continue in this way until you can merely witness all objects of consciousness—sights, sounds, sensations, emotions, even thoughts themselves as they arise, change, and pass away.

     

    Success is not measured in terms of what is happening to us, but by how we relate to what is happening. Not paying attention keeps us in an endless cycle of wanting, of longing. We move on to the next thing because we aren’t cognizant of what we already have. Inattention creates an endless need for stimulation for us to feel alive! We can easily fall into addictive behavior.

     

    His life is a pursuit of a pursuit forever

    It is the future that creates his present

    All is an interminable chain of longing

    – Robert Frost

     

    When our lives feel like an endless chain of longing, usually the first link in the chain is not being fully present. Concentration is what breaks the chain. Learning to deepen our concentration allows us to look at the world with calm and equanimity and begin to feel at home with our body and mind and with life itself. 

    Your true home

     

    With right mindfulness and concentration, you can find your true home in the full relaxation of your mind and body in the present moment. No one can take it away from you. When we stop speaking and thinking and deeply enjoy our in- and out-breath, we arrive at our true home and we can touch the wonders of life. When you breathe in, you bring all yourself together, body and mind: you become one. Equipped with that energy of mindfulness, you may take a step. And if you can take one step, you can take another and another.

     

    “Once you’re facing in the right direction, all you need is to keep walking.”

     

    With insight you realize that you are alive. Your true home is a solid reality that you can touch with your hands, feet, and mind. In your daily life, your body and mind often go in two different directions. You’re in a state of distraction; mind one place, body another. Your body is putting on your coat, getting what you need for your day, and your mind is preoccupied—caught in the past and the future. But between the mind and body there is something that can bring them together: your breath. 

     

    And as soon as you go home to your breath with awareness, your mind and body come together very quickly. While breathing in, you don’t think of anything; just focus your attention on your in-breath. Become your in-breath. Suddenly you find that you are alive and fully present. Joy and happiness can only be experienced with right mindfulness and concentration.

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    The Three Jewels Of The Tao: Embracing The Way Of Water

    The Three Jewels Of The Tao: Embracing The Way Of Water

    Well, the first challenge in understanding the Tao is its definition. Translated literally, ‘The Tao’ means ‘The Way’. The very first verse of this ancient teaching warns that it’s useless to try to define or name The Tao:

    The Tao that can be told
    Is not the eternal Tao
    The name that can be named
    Is not the eternal Name.

    Despite this warning, the Western mind needs to describe it in a language that it understands, such as, “The intangible formless essence of all things. It is the noumenon at the root of all phenomena, the invisible caused by the presupposed by the visible world of effect. Without it, nothing could exist, and yet our senses perceive only the outer manifestations.”Anonymous

    If I were to hazard a guess, the source there could be a professor of Phenomenology at a prestigious university.

    I see online that the Tao is described as the ‘chill’ philosophy: ‘just go with the flow, bro!’ But living the Tao is not a philosophy but a way of ‘being’ and warrants our attention to its basic principles.

    In spite of all the failed attempts to describe the Tao by Western scholars and their need for logic and the rejection of paradox, there is much wisdom to be found in the Tao. One analogy for understanding the practical application of the Tao is to imagine a fish tank full of muddy water. Eventually, if we calmly wait, the mud settles to the bottom. If we try to remove all the dirt from the tank with our hands, we end up worse off than before. 

    I actually apply that same analogy to my mindfulness practice, where I just allow all the mud and debris to settle a little. Ancient Taoist scholars such as Chuang Tzu came to realize that the human mind works on the same principle. Instead of trying to grasp, seek, and control, when we allow ourselves to be peaceful and still, we find we return to balance effortlessly. And in many cases, this is practical advice.

    Silence is a great source of strength
    When the mind is still
    The whole Universe surrenders.

    – Chuang Tzu, 4th century B.C.E.

     

    Related article: The Way Of Chuang Tzu & Four Practices Of Taoism

    The natural world of the Tao

     

    The Tao Te Ching was inspired by the observation of the harmony and beauty of the natural world: the ebb and flows of the tides, the phases of the moon which tells us when to sow and when to harvest, the cyclical nature of the seasons, rivers flowing effortlessly to the sea, returning to their source, the clouds nourishing all life with precious water, and the sun setting at dusk and rising again at dawn. 

    One only needs to spend some time in nature to feel the pulsating harmony of life. Over and over again central themes of the Taoist scholars and the original text of the Tao Te Ching speak of ‘the flow’, of all things eventually ‘returning to their source’, and water. The Taoist would not fear death because it is part of a grander scheme of us effortlessly returning to our source and is simply the yin and yang of existence. But the Tao Te Ching recognized that the harmony and ease of the natural world had been lost by mankind.

    This post contains affiliate links, which help us keep the blog afloat. Click here for more information.

    A beautiful waterfall with purple leaves in the foreground to represent an article on the three jewels of the tao

    Wu wei

    One of the key principles of Taoism is called wu wei, which can be translated as ‘doing without doing’ or ‘actionless action’. This is difficult to describe but it fundamentally means that instead of straining to force things to happen which usually entails fighting against the current of life, the Taoists yield to the flow, allowing the right action to spontaneously arise. How many times have we rushed projects faced with unreasonable deadlines or multi-tasked everything so that the results are not what we would wish for.

    “My greatest happiness consists in doing nothing whatsoever that is calculated to obtain happiness; and this, in the minds of most people, is the worst possible course. I will hold to the saying that ‘Perfect Joy’ is to be without Joy. Perfect Praise is to be without Praise. If you ask ‘what ought to be done’ and ‘what ought not to be done’ on earth to create happiness, I answer that these questions do not have an answer. There is no way of determining such things.

    Yet, at the same time, if I cease striving for happiness, the ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ at once become apparent all by themselves. Contentment and well-being at once become possible the moment you cease to act with them in view, and if you practice non-doing (wu wei), you will have both happiness and well-being.” 

    – Chuang Tzu

     

    Heaven does nothing; its non-doing is its serenity.
    Earth does nothing; its non-doing is its rest.
    From the union of these two non-doings
    All actions proceed; all things are made.

    Rather than trying to make life conform to the whims of our ego, a powerful Taoist practice is to be still, go within, and find out what ‘life’ wants—what life wants us to do, have, and create.

    Wu wei is not woo woo

    There is a lot of misunderstanding about the practice of wu wei. Does it mean doing nothing? No, it means that when we undertake any task, project, or endeavor, we give it our undivided attention. In other words, do it mindfully. When we find ourselves in doubt over the appropriate next step, we slow down or stop until the next action becomes clear. Once we are satisfied that we have given a task, endeavor, or project our very best effort, we let go of the outcome: a powerful practice in Stoicism.

    Living the Tao means living in a state of wu wei and by doing so our actions become effortless and the results far more likely to yield positive results. It’s like planting seeds and then having the patience to have them sprout and grow to fruition.

    The Tao Te Ching warns that forcing actions are likely to lead to chaos. Lao Tzu spells this out in Verse 15 of the Tao Te Ching:

    Verse 15 of the Tao Te Ching

    Rushing into action you fail
    Trying to grasp things, you lose them.
    By forcing a project to completion
    You ruin what was almost ripe.
    Can you remain still and tranquil
    Until the right action appears spontaneously?

    Memento mori life tracker

    Yin and Yang 

    We tend to categorize our experiences as ‘good’ or ‘bad’ and we cling to and resist things accordingly. Life consists of polar opposites: hot and cold, suffering and joy, light and darkness, night and day, pleasure and pain, praise and blame, loss and gain. They are simply two sides of the same coin. If we have never experienced pain in our lives, then we would never experience pleasure.

    “We shake with joy.
    We shake with grief.
    What a time they have,
    these two, housed
    in the same body.”

    – Mary Oliver

    I recollect a winter night in my apartment during the freezing winter of Canada when I was struggling to ‘let go’ of something that was causing me distress. I got dressed and went out into the freezing dark night and walked around until all I wanted was warmth. Once I got inside, I was so grateful for the warmth that my troubled mind was at peace.

    Taoists seek to live with humility and acceptance; to take the good with the bad without rejecting anything that comes our way on our journey through life.

    “When the heart is right, ‘for’ and ‘against’ are forgotten.”

    – Chuang Tzu

    If we are in harmony with life by living the Tao, when we start to feel anxious or depressed, instead of asking ourselves, ‘What do I need to be happy,’ the question becomes ‘What am I doing to disturb the inner peace that I already have?’

    Related article: 13 Principles For Practicing Taoism

    The Three Jewels of living the Tao

    Lao Tzu outlined what he called the Three Jewels or three values that are key to a life of virtue, integrity, and harmony. These three jewels are:

    • Compassion
    • Moderation
    • Humility

    “With compassion you will be brave. With moderation you will be able to give to others. With humility you will be able to live with integrity.”

    – Lao Tzu

    Compassion

    These three jewels should be natural. Compassion for others comes about with the awareness of our shared connection with others as embodiments of the Tao. This interconnectedness of all living things is also taught in the dharma of Buddhism.

    But the human ego often feeds off of judgment, competition, and negative comparison. When this happens, we become alienated and disconnected from our fellow humans, and we lose touch with the natural world. Perhaps, at no time in human history have we become so alienated. This leads to isolation, conflict, and disaster: war, crimes against humanity, and the impending problem of global warming. 

    Lao Tzu and Taoist scholars who followed his teachings warned of this and concluded that this type of human behavior utterly violated the laws of the Tao. The metaphor of water is used throughout the original text of the Tao Te Ching, and by the prominent Taoist scholar Chuang Tzu.

    We are rather like whirlpools in the river of life. In flowing forward, a river or stream may hit upon the rocks and branches, or irregularities in the ground, here and there. Water entering one whirlpool causes other whirlpools to spring up here and there. Water entering one whirlpool quickly passes through and rejoins the river, eventually joining another whirlpool and moving on. Though for short periods it seems to be indistinguishable as a separate entity, the water in the whirlpools is just the river itself.

    A beautiful waterfall with red leaves in the foreground to represent an article on the three jewels of the tao

    The way of water

    However, we want to think that our little whirlpool isn’t part of the river. We want to see ourselves as permanent and stable: that we are completely separated from the river of life. Our whole energy goes into trying to protect our supposed separateness. To protect this separateness, we set up artificial boundaries; as a consequence, we consume and accumulate excess baggage, so that neighboring whirlpools may get less water because of our frantic holding on, and eventually the river itself ceases to flow and becomes inhabitable.

    When we are faced with the cold, hard truth that 1% of the population owns and controls 99% of the planet’s wealth and resources, it is easy to understand ourselves as living in little whirlpools along a river and without regard for anyone else, we consume and continue to consume so much ‘stuff’ that many whirlpools get no water whatsoever, and finally the river itself ceases to flow. 

    This may very well be our epitaph—our legacy to our children and our children’s children. As a father and a grandfather, I’m willing to look at the principles of living the Tao or as I like to call it, ‘The Way of Water,’ and look deeply to understand it, because quite frankly, Western philosophy has done nothing to dispel the ludicrous notion that we are completely ‘separate’ from our fellow human beings and from nature, from our beautiful planet. We believe that we are alone, so we must grab as much as we can and do anything to keep it. Western education teaches how to do things—for the most part how to acquire wealth. But, we are not taught how to ‘be’. Instead of being a great source of strength, silence frightens us and we have to keep busy and check our smartphones constantly.

    Moderation

    Moderation is a key principle as the second Jewel of the Tao. Lao Tzu and the Chinese sages noted how the balance of the natural world appeared to be maintained in an effortless manner or by the principle of wu wei.

    Once again, they observed how water ‘nourished all of creation without trying to compete with it.’ When one considers that the lack of the most valuable resource on the planet, fresh water, will be humanity’s greatest challenge as global warming continues, one realizes just how important the study and living by the principles of the Tao should be taken seriously.

    “Nothing is softer or more flexible
    Than water yet,
    Nothing can resist it.
    Nature does not hurry,
    Yet, everything is accomplished.”

    – Chuang Tzu

    Humility

    Humility is the third jewel of the Tao or value that Lao Tzu frequently references. Humility is to be grateful for life, for the very breath that keeps us alive. But we don’t own it. It’s on loan to us and thus all the more precious and eventually we will have to give it back. If you watch the waves on a fast-running river, you will see a wave and then you may think it is gone. But the wave comes from the water, has a brief appearance or manifestation as a wave, and then it simply returns to the water again. It returns to its source. There is no birth, no death here. After a brief appearance as a wave it doesn’t die, it simply becomes water again.

    “When the wave rises
    The river and the water are one surf:
    Where is the difference between
    The river and its wave?
    When the water rises,
    It is water.
    And when it falls,
    It is the same water again.
    Tell me Sir, where is the distinction?
    Because it has been named as a wave,
    Shall it no longer be considered as water?”

    – Kabir

     

    To the wise person who truly understands the nature of reality, there is no place for complacency or arrogance. There is no time for that! The wise person lives with utmost humility and gratitude, and in constant awe and wonder at the miracle of existence. Life is full of miracles. That is why the Tao can’t be described. All life is a mystery. To try to explain existence in terms of noumena and phenomena—just words and naming—is pointless. Embrace the mystery of life. Be silent and look around and pay attention, and you will begin to experience the utmost humility and gratitude for the gift of life.

    Verse Eight of the Tao Te Ching

    The supreme good is like water Which nourishes all things without trying to. It is content with the low places that people disdain. Thus, it is like the Tao.

    In dwelling, live close to the ground. In thinking, keep to the simple. In conflict, be fair and generous. In governing, don’t try to control. In work, do what you enjoy. In family life, be completely present.

    When you are content to simply be yourself And don’t compete or compare, Everybody will respect you.

    If a man is crossing a river And an empty boat collides with his own skiff, Even though he be a bad-tempered man, He will not be angry. But, if he sees a man in the boat, He will shout for him to stay clear. If the shout is not heard, he will shout again And yet again, and begin cursing. And all because there is somebody in the boat. Yet, if the boat is empty He would not be shouting and not be angry. If you can empty your own boat crossing the river of the world, no one will oppose you, No one will seek to harm you.

    – Chuang Tzu

    “Remember, it is not enough to be hit or insulted to be harmed, you must believe that you are being harmed. If someone succeeds in provoking you, realize that your mind is complicit in the provocation. Which is why it is essential that we not respond impulsively to impressions; take a moment before reacting and you will find it easier to maintain control.” 

    – Epictetus

    Commentary

    While writing this article I tried my best to employ wu wei—to take my time, in the hopes of getting it right. I would leave it for days at a time, before delving into yin and yang, and other humble attempts to understand the Tao and how it is still relevant today and attempt to convey that to you, the reader. I used two sources: the Tao Te Ching (paid link) and The Way of Chuang Tzu by Thomas Merton (paid link).

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    No Self In Buddhism & Science: Tame The Ego, Start Living

    No Self In Buddhism & Science: Tame The Ego, Start Living

    I am quietly eroding all your relationships. I am insulting you. I am forcing you to act with greed and aggression. I make you jealous… I am you. The ‘I’ here is the subjective sense of self—the ‘I’ is your ego. As we’ll discover, no self thinking may be the antidote to so much corrosive thought and behavior.

     

    In Buddhism, the sense of self is considered a critical illusion. Over-attachment to the ego is seen as a fundamental ignorance that causes human suffering. The Stoics, too, teach us to slice through the delusion of ‘me and mine’. Marcus Aurelius said, “Choose not to be harmed—and you won’t feel harmed. Don’t feel harmed—and you haven’t been.” 

     

    We could avoid so much interpersonal conflict if we could just let go of the urge to defend ourselves. Most disputes don’t need to spiral into grudges that last years. The burning demand for an apology when we feel we’ve been wronged can stand in the way of so much love and compassion. 

     

    But, what is it really that we’re defending? What is it that needs an apology? What is the sense of self? 

     

    What is no self?

     

    In this article, when I use the term ‘no self’, I do so with the following definition: 

     

    No self is the recognition that the sense of self or ego is not some all-important main actor commanding our subjective experience, contrary to our intuition. In Buddhism, no self is not just a recognition that the ego is less important than we perceive it to be, but that the sense of self is an illusion.

     

    In Buddhism, no self is also known by its Pali term anatta. A related concept is non-dualism, which suggests that there is no difference between the subject that is perceiving and the object that is being perceived. 

     

    This is not to say that you don’t exist. Buddhist no self philosophy acknowledges fully that the notion of self is real—it feels incredibly real. You have a name. You have psychological continuity with your past. When you wake up tomorrow, this continuity will prevail. You exist and no one is debating that. 

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    A woman in a shopping cart taking a selfie to represent an article about no self in Buddhism and science

    There’s so much more to life than the self 

     

    Practicing no self starts with the humble recognition that the sense of self is only one part of your existence. Since the sense of self is inextricably linked to your self-talk—to your thoughts and inner dialogue—and since we’re constantly interpreting reality through thought, it can feel like it’s everything. 

     

    However, we know that there are other states of consciousness in which the feeling of self is suspended. Examples of this are empathy and deep states of meditation in which, if even for five seconds, you have no thoughts. Even flow states or being ‘in the zone’, where actions just seem to pour out of you without having to think about them, are no self experiences. 

     

    In this article, we’ll present some science-based findings that support the idea of no self in Buddhism. Then, we’ll discuss the primordial importance of attempting to loosen your grip on your sense of self. As we’ll see, the sense of self causes so much avoidable suffering. Finally, we’ll draw upon a concept from Buddhism called The Five Poisons of Ego Delusion to extract a practical approach to no self thinking. 

     

    You don’t own your ego

     

    In a recent podcast appearance, neuroscientist and meditation advocate Sam Harris asked the listeners to try the following: in sitting meditation, look for the ‘I’ behind the thought—look for the thinker producing the thoughts. Surely, this is where we can find the sense of self, right? Well, no. When you try this, you’ll see that there is no author behind your thoughts. They simply arise. 

     

    Harris suggests another thought experiment that anyone can do: try to predict exactly what your next thought will be. You’ll find that it is impossible. If there really were a pilot commanding the ship, wouldn’t it know what thought is coming next? 

     

    This line of thinking is not meant to foster doubt about your existence. Rather, it’s meant to show that although the sense of self feels like the most real thing in your life, it’s possible that experience is the ultimate truth. It shows that even our thoughts—the ones we feel we own and control—may be experiential, not unlike the experience of sensing rain drops landing on your skin or hearing birds singing in the garden. You don’t own the raindrops or the birds’ songs. They are not yours for keeping or defending. You simply experience them. 

     

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    No self in science

     

    In his book, No Self, No Problem: How Neuropsychology Is Catching Up To Buddhism, Chris Niebauer, Ph.D. emphasizes that the sense of self is largely based on language. Since the ego depends on language to manifest itself in the form of thoughts, it means that it’s associated with left brain processes. 

     

    The left brain is responsible for language and pattern recognition. But, as Niebauer points out, neither language or patterns truly exist in the natural world. They are mental constructs. Thoughts are the map. Reality is the territory.

     

    He points out that the sense of self itself is a series of patterns. The characteristics we assign to ourselves—kind, hard-working, creative, et al.—are patterns that we’ve observed about ourselves. But, again, patterns are mere interpretations of reality. 

     

    Also, he makes the keen observation that, “There is no ‘me’ without ‘not me’,” meaning the left brain defines the self in relation to differences it observes between you and others. 

     

    I take this as supporting evidence for interconnectedness—the idea espoused by both Buddhism and Stoicism that we are all fundamentally connected. If all other beings ceased to exist or if you were born in a vacuum without others to serve as reference points, would your ego even exist? 

    Related article: Exploring Secular Buddhism: A Practical Guide To Modern Buddhist Wisdom

     

    No self, no misunderstandings

     

    Niebauer demonstrates that the left brain often gets things wrong. It goes to great lengths to make value judgments and interpretations. The left brain does somersaults to ‘make sense’ of reality, but it rarely does this with perfect accuracy.

     

    The essence of Niebauer’s findings is that science cannot locate the sense of self. Then, the interpretations of the left brain, including the ones about ourselves, are often unreliable and inconsistent. Therefore, we should practice healthy skepticism and humility when it comes to the ego. 

     

    If this sounds depressing, don’t forget that the left brain is only half the story here. Niebauer also writes about right brain consciousness. He explains that it’s involved in states of empathy, creativity, and perspective. Both Niebauer and Harris prescribe meditation and mindfulness as a means of developing greater access to right brain consciousness to begin experiencing life without the distortions of value judgments. 

    A man with a frog mask taking a selfie to represent an article about no self in Buddhism

    The benefits of no self thinking

     

    The science and the tradition both suggest that the sense of self is responsible for most if not all human suffering. This is because the self comes with baggage. It comes with judgments. It comes with ‘us versus them’ baked in. I don’t need to explain how ‘I-am-good-and-they-are-bad’ thinking leads to misunderstandings at best and violence at worst. 

     

    Also, the ego enjoys its own pain and suffering just as much as it seeks pleasure. Jetsunma Tenzin Palmo explains in her book, The Heroic Heart: Awakening Unbound Compassion, that the ego simply wants to be placed on a pedestal. It wants attention. What better way for it to soak up the spotlight than to feel insulted or injured? 

     

    Developing a no self practice whereby you lessen your attachment to the ego by taking it much less seriously and uncovering experience without judgment is a sure means of reducing suffering in your life. 

     

    Even the most minor of grievances you’ve had with others were undoubtedly caused by the sense of self seeming very real, all-important, and in need of validation. 

     

    With no self thinking, we can begin to investigate emotions like anger and jealousy. We can begin to see the perspectives of others and recognize that they are suffering, too. We can apologize even when the left brain has decided that we did nothing wrong. 

     

    Embarrassment, too, is a major hindrance to so much positive behavior. Public speaking is the most common human fear and one that I struggle with. The fear of expressing oneself publicly stems from the need to defend the fortress. No self thinking allows us to see there is nothing to defend.

    How to practice no self

     

    In Buddhism, the no self delusion is said to feed off of five poisons. These five hindrances to no self practice provide a useful way to categorize the behaviors and thought patterns that lead to over-attachment to the ego. Breaking this complex concept into smaller chunks helps to bring structure to our practice. 

     

    The five poisons of ego delusion and ignorance are greed, aggression, pride, jealousy, and envy.

    Greed

    Be content with what you have and practice healthy habits of consumption. Today, marketers are armed with your data and powerful AI tools, so their influence over your sense of desire is increasingly powerful and difficult to detect. Taming the desire for ‘more’ reduces your ego’s perceived need to compete with others. 

     

    Click here to read a related article: Desirelessness Is Happiness: 7 Practices To Help You Let Go

     

    Aggression

    Aggression stems from either the perceived need to assert dominance over others or the need to defend oneself. Dominance is usually wrapped up in power dynamics and social hierarchies. Niebauer would likely point out that these are simply patterns recognized by the left brain. If we can view these social structures and hierarchies for what they really are—mental constructs—we are less likely to treat them as imperative. Once they lose some of their importance, they lose a lot of their influence over our actions.

    Pride

    We often think of pride as a positive thing, and, in moderation, it probably is. The opposite of pride is shame. If we’re ashamed of ourselves, then we become hesitant and ineffective. An ineffective person lacks the strength to act compassionately towards others. If our ultimate goal is to reduce suffering in others and ourselves, then we need confidence to embark on this long and, at times, difficult path toward compassion. In this sense, we need to use the ego to transcend the ego. 

    Excessive pride leads to arrogance, which strengthens attachment to the ego. When we believe we are better than others, we play the ego’s favorite game: comparing ourselves to others. So, it’s clear that we need balance when it comes to pride.

    Be proud of yourself when you achieve a goal. Take a moment to celebrate the fruits of your hard work. But, perhaps the most effective way to temper your pride is to take on goals that feed into compassion. Set some goals that track and measure the number of acts of kindness you perform. Keep yourself accountable for the health of your relationships. When you succeed in these endeavors, the resulting sense of pride is sure to be balanced.

    Jealousy

    With all emotions, it’s helpful to remember that we have them for a reason. Jealousy has many use cases. For men, it evolved partly as a mechanism to alleviate or dispel paternal doubt—the uncertainty of whether or not a child is actually theirs. Since the primary driver of evolution is reproduction, it makes sense that jealousy evolved to help men and women ensure that their partner was worthy of the enormous investment required to raise children.

    Jealousy, as it pertains to sexual relationships, can be very intense. So, if you’re struggling with jealousy in your life, first remember that there is nothing wrong with you. This emotion evolved in humans for a reason.

    Infidelity itself is not a lethal act, but the ego would make you think otherwise. To guard against intense feelings of jealousy, remember that at most you’re facing a perceived threat to a sense of self which may or may not even exist. Your ability to have wonderful experiences in the world will prevail regardless of the actions of others.

    Envy

    Unlike pride and jealousy, envy is a hindrance to no self thinking for which there are simple, actionable solutions. The best way to temper envy is to stop comparing yourself to others. The most effective way to do this is to stop paying attention to others. This means less (much less) social media. Also, foster an attitude of abundance. Remind yourself constantly of your gratitude for all that you have. And don’t just limit this to physical possessions or people in your life. Be grateful for your potential, skills, achievements, but also your flaws, quirks, and imperfections. Embrace all of you so that you feel whole. With a feeling of wholeness, there is no room for envy. 

    Final thoughts

     

    No self thinking is very hard. For most of our lives, we’ve been conditioned to feel that the concept of ‘me’ is everything. We feel as though the sense of self is a life-and-death matter. We go most of our lives without questioning the ego. But, there’s a reason that ancient traditions like Buddhism and Stoicism placed the ego near the center of their philosophies. 

     

    Today, science is beginning to find evidence to support the idea that the sense of self is not everything. No self practice is not a call to eliminate who you are as a person. You can and should continue to cherish yourself, protect yourself, and above all, love yourself. No self lets us loosen our grip a bit. It leads us to greater humility. No self leads us to reconcile quicker with those we love. It breaks down judgments. It leads us to simply experience the wonders of life, and to treat those as the ultimate truth. 

     

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    Exploring Secular Buddhism: A Practical Guide To Modern Buddhist Wisdom

    Exploring Secular Buddhism: A Practical Guide To Modern Buddhist Wisdom

    Buddhism isn’t just for monks with shaved heads and orange robes. Ordinary people, just like you and me, can derive wisdom, insight, and clarity from Buddhist traditions. Buddhism’s immense utility in everyday life has brought a lot of momentum to a branch of Buddhism called Secular Buddhism. But what exactly is Secular Buddhism, and how does it differ from traditional forms of Buddhism? In this article, we’ll explore the essence of Secular Buddhism, its principles, practices, and how it can be applied in our modern lives.

    Understanding Secular Buddhism

     

    Secular Buddhism is a contemporary interpretation of Buddhist teachings that emphasizes practical wisdom and mindfulness while eschewing supernatural beliefs. It seeks to distill the essence of Buddhist philosophy and practices in a way that’s accessible and relevant to people regardless of their religious affiliations. At its core, Secular Buddhism is grounded in the teachings of Siddhartha Gautama, the historical Buddha, but it strips away the cultural and religious accretions that have accumulated over centuries. 

     

    In many ways, this blog, The Mindful Stoic, is an amplifier of Secular Buddhism. Although in my personal life I am beginning to embrace religious and spiritual aspects of Buddhism, I am acutely aware that these aspects are highly unappealing to many people. Therefore, I never want supernatural theories or religious terminology to dissuade our readers from discovering the rich benefits of Buddhist wisdom. This is why the vast majority of our articles on Buddhism focus on the purely practical aspects.

    This post contains affiliate links, which help us keep the blog afloat. Click here for more information.

    Animated image of a woman meditating over a backdrop of leaves and butterflies in a serene setting to represent an article on secular Buddhism

    Principles of Secular Buddhism

    1. Core teachings: Secular Buddhism focuses on the core teachings of the Buddha, such as the Four Noble Truths and the Eightfold Path. I see these teachings as universal principles that can lead to greater happiness, well-being, and inner peace when applied in daily life.

    Related article: The Eightfold Path: Guidance For Life’s Challenges

     

    2. Mindfulness: Central to Secular Buddhism is the practice of mindfulness, which involves paying attention to the present moment with openness, curiosity, and acceptance. Mindfulness is the most central theme of The Mindful Stoic blog. I consider it the foundation upon which all other personal improvement and moral and ethical practices sit. 

    Related article: What Is Mindfulness? An Introduction & 3 Essential Practices

    Memento mori life tracker

    3. Impermanence and interconnectedness: Secular Buddhists recognize the impermanent and interconnected nature of all phenomena. This understanding helps you develop a sense of detachment from transient experiences and fosters compassion towards all beings.

     

    4. Ethics and virtue: Ethical conduct is emphasized in Secular Buddhism, with principles such as non-harming, honesty, and compassion forming the basis of a virtuous life. Practitioners strive to live in harmony with themselves, others, and the environment.

     

    5. Critical inquiry: Secular Buddhism encourages critical inquiry and rational skepticism. Followers are encouraged to question dogma and to apply the teachings in a way that resonates with their own experience and understanding.

     

    “A finger pointing at the moon is not the moon. The finger is needed to know where to look for the moon, but if you mistake the finger for the moon itself, you will never know the real moon.” – Thich Nhat Hanh, Old Path White Clouds: Walking in the Footsteps of the Buddha (paid link)

    Practical Application of Secular Buddhism

    1. Mindfulness meditation: One of the most accessible practices of Secular Buddhism is mindfulness meditation. By setting aside a few minutes each day to sit quietly and observe the breath or bodily sensations, you can cultivate greater awareness and presence.

     

    2. Daily reflection: Another practical aspect of Secular Buddhism is the cultivation of daily reflection. Taking time to reflect on your thoughts, emotions, and actions can help you develop insight into your patterns of behavior and foster personal growth.

    What is secular Buddhism infographic

    3. Ethical living: Secular Buddhists strive to live ethically by aligning their actions with principles of non-harming, honesty, and compassion. This means making conscious choices in areas such as diet, consumption, and relationships.

     

    4. Community engagement: While Secular Buddhism can be practiced individually, many practitioners find value in community engagement. Joining a local meditation group or volunteering for good causes are excellent ways to commit yourself more fully to your practice.

     

    5. Integration into daily life: Perhaps the most practical aspect of Secular Buddhism is its integration into daily life. Rather than viewing meditation and mindfulness as separate activities, practitioners seek to embody these principles in all aspects of their lives, whether at work, home, or in relationships.

    Final thoughts

    Secular Buddhism offers a practical and accessible approach to Buddhist philosophy and wisdom that is perfectly relevant to the challenges of modern life. By focusing on core teachings, mindfulness meditation, ethical living, and critical inquiry, you can cultivate greater clarity, well-being, and stillness. Buddhist wisdom has been refined and transmitted across the generations for millennia. Therefore, it would be a shame for people to miss out on that practical wisdom just because they have preconceived notions about how Buddhism is incompatible with their religious or non-religious beliefs. The fact is that wisdom traditions like Buddhism and Stoicism are adaptable. We can take what is useful to us, and leave the rest.

     

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    If you enjoyed this article, consider sharing it with your friends and followers on social media. Your support means the world to us. 💖 Click on the social share icons below and let others discover the insights, tips, and inspiration you found here. Together, we can create a community of like-minded individuals who practice mindfulness and Stoicism.

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    Desirelessness Is Happiness: 7 Practices To Help You Let Go

    Desirelessness Is Happiness: 7 Practices To Help You Let Go

    A man is galloping at breakneck speed on his horse and appears as if he’s going somewhere important; on a mission of some sort.

     

    Another man standing along the side of the road shouts, ‘Where are you going?’ The man on the horse yells, ‘I don’t know, ask the horse.’ 

     

    Desire is like the horse. Without insight and awareness, it carries us to destinations unknown. This is especially true when desire becomes confused with something we all want: happiness. 

    Many of us confuse desire and happiness. Intellectually, we know the difference between the two. But in practice, many of our conditions for happiness depend on either acquiring something we don’t have or preserving something already in our possession. 

     

    Material objects are one such source of chasing and clinging, but our jobs and relationships, too, can be sources of blurriness between desire and happiness. Think back to times you were truly happy. You’ll notice that desire was not present. 

     

    In this article, we’ll learn to see the difference between happiness and desire in our lives. We’ll explore practices to help promote states of desirelessness. Finally, as a practical takeaway, we’ll share 7 ways to simplify your life and reduce desire. 

     

    The neurochemistry of desire

     

    Dopamine is a ‘feel-good’ neurotransmitter that helps us get things done. It’s a primary force behind motivation. It drives us to seek out food, shelter, and sex, to name a few. 

     

    Brain chemistry like this helps us get what we need to survive. Once we get what we’ve been chasing, dopamine peaks, which feels great. Is this happiness—getting a dopamine hit in response to acquiring something we need or desire? 

     

    It seems very likely that no, it is not, because after dopamine spikes, it dips. In fact, following large increases, dopamine levels dip below baseline. An analogy for this is getting into a bathtub that’s almost full of water. Once you’re fully submerged, the water level rises and spills over the edges of the tub. Once you get out, the water level is lower than before you had entered. Dopamine is like this with objects of desire. It rises until the object of desire is obtained, but then it’s depleted below its starting point. 

     

    If we attach our idea of happiness with desire, as so many of us do either wittingly or unwittingly, we attach it to the rising and falling of neurochemicals that evolved to help us get what we need. 

    This post contains affiliate links, which help us keep the blog afloat. Click here for more information.

    Mindful meditation practice

    Desire can feel like happiness

     

    Marketers figured this out a long time ago. Now, algorithms are taking it to a new level. They know how to play with the nervous system’s dopamine reward system to get you to desire anything and everything. It can feel like happiness when we obtain something we’ve been chasing. The dopamine response provides this feeling, but it reliably dissipates shortly after. 

     

    Money can’t buy you happiness. This cliche is not hard to understand conceptually. We know, for example, that our health is precious and we wouldn’t trade it for any amount of money. It’s not hard to imagine how the thrill of luxury items like sports cars or designer clothes would wear off eventually. 

     

    There’s even a famous study that demonstrated this strikingly. The study followed two groups of people over the course of a year. Participants recorded various metrics to measure their happiness. One group consisted of people who had just won the lottery. The other group included people who had just lost a limb. In the end, the study found that the people who had lost a limb reported higher levels of happiness versus baseline than the people who had won the lottery. 

     

    This is due to habituation. We get used to what we have, no matter how convenient or luxurious. But why did the people who lost limbs maintain or increase levels of happiness? It’s likely because they had to adapt and overcome. I also assume that they did not spend much time chasing the desire of getting their limb back, because this was not an option. They would have eventually accepted this terrible reality and worked to improve their situation.

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    The difference between desire and happiness

     

    The elimination of alternatives is crucial for eliminating desire. Sure, many of us don’t have grand desires for lavish vacations or expensive jewelry. But many of us wonder if the grass is greener on the other side. We wonder if there’s a better partner or a higher-paying job around the next bend. We feel anxious that our landlord may evict us, so we reason that once we have enough money to buy a home, we’ll have more freedom. We think that we deserve a sweet treat because we’ve generally eaten well recently.

     

    Let me define what I mean by happiness. Most of us think of happiness over long time scales. When we’re asked, ‘Are you happy?’, we generally think in terms of months or years. We run a quick memory scan of the past year’s events. We think of the things that occupy much of our focus, such as jobs, family, and friends, and give them each a score that tallies up to our total level of happiness. But happiness is really a state of joy, ease, and peace. Happiness is an experience.

     

    On a given day, I can experience the full range of emotions: anger, sadness, fear, but also happiness. Happiness is just one of the many contents of consciousness. Therefore, it is only available in the present moment. 

     

    So we should think less about building a happy life—refraining from the mental calculus of X in a bank account multiplied by Y job prospects divided by Z beautiful spouse equals happiness. Instead, we should focus on creating the conditions for joy, ease, and peace to arise more often into our conscious experience. 

     

    What is desirelessness? 

     

    Desirelessness is present moment awareness associated with fulfilment, peace of mind, and gratitude. The title of this article is slightly misleading. Desirelessness and happiness are not the same thing. But desirelessness is a condition that makes present-moment happiness possible. 

    How to improve your mindfulness meditation practice

    The Eightfold Path to practice desirelessness

     

    The first step is to learn to recognize desire. We’ve evolved to experience desire. Sex drive is the perfect example. We don’t want to eliminate all desire for sex, but we can at least recognize that it is desire, backed by brain chemistry pushing us to chase it, and more importantly, recognizing that once we get it, the good feelings will quickly dissipate. 

     

    This is the Right Understanding path of the Eightfold Path. We recognize states of being. We label them appropriately. Once we know what we’re dealing with, we’re more in control. With Right Understanding we’re more likely to make wise choices and guide our actions harmoniously with our values. 

     

    Right Livelihood is another path of the Eightfold Path that’s relevant here because many desires are related to our jobs. Most jobs come preloaded with some pressure to perform better to earn more. We get the impression, either true or false, that our colleagues are all working their way up the ladder. We may even feel that we’re competing with colleagues for space on the ladder. 

     

    Stop grasping for ‘more’

     

    Then there’s the intrinsic relationship between a job and the buying power it provides us. Our consumption is directly limited by how much we earn, so there’s a natural tension between income and desire. The more we desire, the more pressure we feel at work. 

     

    You don’t need to exit the rat race. Most of us have no choice but to stay in the fight. We need to work and we should want to work. Even jobs that are not our dream jobs provide us with opportunities to challenge ourselves and grow. And it’s okay to want to stretch yourself, contribute to the success of your business, and be compensated for it proportionately. 

     

    Right Livelihood teaches us to know when enough is enough. Work hard, but know your end game. Take time each year to figure out exactly how much you need to earn to meet your core needs. Without a clear definition of exactly how much you need, the default is to want more. More is a terrible thing to want because it’s unspecific and potentially never ending. You’ll never be satisfied if you’re trying to make or save more money. Set specific, realistic goals to meet your monetary needs. Measure and track your progress, and frequently readjust to economic and life circumstances. 

    7 Ways to stop grasping

     

    Desirelessness is the blank canvas onto which we paint the picture of present-moment happiness. Some desires are so closely related to basic needs, such as food and social connection, that they’re impossible to eliminate entirely. I don’t think you need to make drastic changes and uproot routines in the pursuit of desirelessness. This would only set you up for frustration. Instead, we can apply some gentle hygiene to our lives to make conditions unfavorable for desire. We can simplify our lives. 

     

    Here are 7 practice to stop grasping and promote desirelessness:

     

    Choose only one or two things to be great at

     

    These days, we have access to so many tools that enable us to do almost anything. In theory, anyone can start an online business in a day, for example. We have many roles to play in life—many hats to wear. But it’s unrealistic to try to be amazing at all of them. Focus on one or two things to be great at, and be good at all the rest. 

     

    Practice minimalism

     

    We’re at a point with technology where one has to seriously question if we’ve already maximized convenience. Any more gadgets in your home are likely to add complication. But this point is not limited to tech. When was the last time you cleaned a pair of sneakers or repaired a backpack instead of buying new ones? Marketers will not stop finding innovative, AI-based ways to convince you to buy things, so it’s up to you to be seriously vigilant. 

     

    Practice essentialism

     

    When you think about it, the plural of the word priority (priorities) is ridiculous. Priority means ‘most important’. So how can there be more than one most important thing? Essentialism is the discipline of protecting one’s time and energy and focusing on only what is truly essential. It means saying no. It means tradeoffs. I highly recommend the book Essentialism by Greg McKeown, which first instructed me on this life-changing practice. 

     

    Eliminate alternatives

     

    So much desire comes from the astounding number of options presented to us. Make decisions and turn them into rules for yourself to eliminate indecision in the face of so many choices. Decide to cycle to work everyday. Invest in some good rain equipment and never again think about buying a car or taking a crowded bus. Decide to eat the same, very healthy breakfast everyday, and never again hesitate in the grocery store.

     

    Avoid sensory pleasures that create addiction

     

    This applies to ordinary things like sugar, alcohol, and porn. Check out our article on The Four Categories of Attachment to learn more about applying Right Understanding to sensory pleasures

     

    Identify with values, not titles

     

    Know your core values and keep them at arm’s length. Don’t identify with your job title. You are so much more than what you do for a living. 

     

    Is the grass really greener on the other side?

     

    People find themselves in harmful relationships. There’s no doubt that they should end these. But sometimes, we’re tempted to explore other partners because we desire that initial spark—that honeymoon phase of the first months of an intimate relationship that cannot be replicated. Just remember that yes, that new intensity is out there somewhere but it, too, will vanish.

     

    Final word

     

    Finally, simply practice noticing when feelings of joy, ease, or peace arise. These feelings are happiness, and they’re probably already more abundant in your life than you think. Appreciate them, but also examine them. It’s one thing to apply Right Understanding to promote desirelessness. But we must also apply insight into feelings of happiness, because understanding how, when, where, why, and with whom happiness arises helps us create favorable conditions for it.

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