The phrase ‘if you love something, set it free’ is used almost exclusively by the speaker to refer to another person. But why don’t we use this phrase on ourselves? We don’t usually think of setting ourselves free, probably because we don’t perceive ourselves as being locked or attached to anything. But upon closer examination, we see we are indeed attached to all kinds of things. The modern world is rife with stimuli deliberately designed to invoke maximum sensory pleasure. We are tethered to all sorts of cultural norms that direct our behavior in ways unseen. We even become attached to societal constructs of time itself. Ancient mindfulness traditions realized that attachment causes suffering. They understood that people with busy lives are subject to attachment without even realizing it. This is why they developed the four categories of attachment to provide structure for an honest examination of our personal attachments.
This is part one of a two-part exploration of the four categories of attachment, which are:
- Sensory pleasures
- Rites and rituals
- Opinions and views
- Ego and sense of self
We’ll discuss these with a modern interpretation, taking into consideration the unique challenges of the twenty-first century. We hope to present some common areas of attachment to inspire in the reader their own curious and honest examination of the four categories of attachment in their own life. The idea that attachment causes suffering is no joke. For some, attachment may cause severe life disruptions. For others, their attachments may merely engender suboptimal performance. Nevertheless, we will attempt to insert some practical advice, some of which is as timeless and tested as the four categories of attachment themselves.
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The first of the four categories of attachment: sensory pleasures
The four categories of attachment were elaborated thousands of years ago and yet they are still relevant today—perhaps none more so than the first category: sensory pleasures.
The degree of contemporary relevance is perhaps impertinent here, but it is undeniable that sensory pleasures are a more pervasive source of attachment, super-charged and made widely available by modern technology, than they were when the four categories of attachment were first taught.
There’s no doubt that most of us struggle with some degree of unhealthy attachment to sensory pleasures, such as on-demand media streaming, social media, free and endless pornography, and, more broadly, the devices that enable all of these things.
Other sensory pleasures are timeless. A quick Google search of ‘how can I quit [X]…’ auto-fills to reveal that the most searched queries for how to detach oneself from a sensory pleasure are all things to which humans have been finding themselves excessively attached for millennia. This Google exercise revealed smoking, drinking, gambling, and sugar as the top things people are searching to quit.
Modern sensory pleasures are increasingly powered by sophisticated technology while the classic vices, such as drinking and gambling, evidently require no new innovations to find themselves deeply rooted within our dopamine-reward systems.
How to untether yourself from attachment to sensory pleasure
So, what can we do to detach ourselves from sensory pleasures? First, if you suffer from addiction, do not take this article as help. Instead, please speak to your doctor and seek professional help. Additionally, for an excellent conversation on the hard science of addiction, check out the episode of the Huberman Lab Podcast where host Dr. Andrew Huberman speaks with Dr. Anna Lembke, a leading addictions expert.
Ancient mindfulness teachings suggest that to combat sensory attachment we should pay particular attention to the five bodily senses. In doing so, we should consider the five senses as gates between the external world and our experience of it. In this way, mindfulness acts as the gatekeeper. Mindful awareness as our sentry standing guard directs stimuli received from the environment and channels it into a skillful response.
Mindful awareness prevents stimuli from entering our experience unchecked. An incredibly simple piece of advice—pay attention to what you touch, taste, see, hear, and smell—but when you think about it, it is powerful advice especially as it relates to our attachment to sensory pleasures entering through these sense gates.
Case in point
On a hot day, strolling about town, one might pass by a patio bar and see a waitress serving tall, frosty beers to a group of relaxed and cheerful patrons. The observer whose mindfulness stands guard at the gates of sight can see the beers, note that they have seen the beers, notice the craving that arises from the sight of the beers, heed that the craving was caused by the sight of the beers, and then may or may not choose to respond to the craving, now aware of the true origin of the craving (external sight, not internal desire).
On the other hand, the person who has no gatekeeper simply sees the frosty beers, experiences craving, and proceeds to act without insight into the true source of the craving.
This applies to all kinds of sensory experience—the news that we hear, the sweet, salt, and fat that we taste, the warm and soft blankets that we feel when the alarm clock rings. When we train ourselves with repetition and patience to observe stimuli as they reach our sense gates, we begin to form more insightful and tempered responses to them. Insight and temperance reduce our habitual and reflexive attachment to sensory pleasures.
The second of the four categories of attachment: rites and rituals
The second of the four categories of attachment are rites and rituals. This category was originally taught to prevent monks and nuns from getting lost in the ceremony of religious practice and straying from the true purpose of it. Even the words ‘rites’ and ‘rituals’ have religious connotations.
But everyone, not least of whom non-religious people of today, are faced with dozens of rites and rituals to which we become attached. We just don’t call them rites and rituals, but in essence they are the same.
Today, we call them routines, schedules, weekends, holidays, and vacations. These rites and rituals are embedded in culture and society. Consider all the rites and rituals associated with the consumption of alcohol. It’s used to commemorate achievements, to kick off the weekend, to accompany meals and events. It comes with all kinds of ceremonies, decorations, seasonal traditions, and rules. Drinking is often the cornerstone of all adult social interaction.
I’m not saying that all these drinking rituals are all bad, but I encourage you to ask yourself how often you drink because you truly want to consume alcohol versus how often you drink because it’s the thing to do.
The many routines and schedules associated with work are another example of behavior to which we can find ourselves overly attached without even knowing it. I’m a proponent of routines, but I try to remain flexible with them. If you’re not flexible with your routines, they can become a source of suffering when they become interrupted or stagnant.
Unhealthy attachment to routines
Our relationship with work often causes us to develop unhealthy attachment to time itself. We cherish certain days of the week while we loath other days simply for how they’re named. Quite simply, a day is a rotation of the Earth on its axis. Quite extraordinarily, a day is another chance to experience impermanent life, no matter if it’s called Monday or Sunday.
A simple way to combat the ‘Sunday scaries’ or ‘Monday blues’ is to practice gratitude first thing in the morning. As soon as you open your eyes, take a moment to recognize that you’re still alive. Treat this as no mundane matter, but instead an incredible fortune and precious opportunity. Acknowledge that you’re fortunate to have another twenty-four hours ahead of you in which you can attempt to live life in the present moment and in accordance with your values.
With routines, the best way to put them under the microscope is to intentionally break from them on occasion. Even seemingly healthy and productive routines can become stagnant. Our world is constantly changing, and if we don’t course correct with the actions we routinely take, we end up straying from the middle path.