Interconnection & Its Connection With Stoicism

Interconnection & Its Connection With Stoicism

Where we find overlap of ideas across cultures and periods of history, we find truth about human nature. We commonly associate interconnection—the notion that we are all fundamentally connected to each other—with Buddhism or other Eastern philosophical traditions. The ancient Greeks and Stoics, too, had their sympatheia, which they described as a cosmic interconnection shared among all past, present and future life forms. 

 

“Meditate often on the interconnectedness and mutual interdependence of all things in the universe […] all things are mutually woven together and therefore have an affinity for each other.”

– Marcus Aurelius

Interconnection in human experience

 

When we read history and philosophy, we see descriptions of our interconnection as a central component of understanding ourselves, from the ancient Greeks to the Stoics, in Buddhism, Christianity, and virtually all major religions. 

 

In fact, in their study “Shared Virtues: The Convergence of Valued Human Strengths Across Culture and History”, Katherine Dahlsgaard and her colleagues identified six core virtues shared among Buddhism, Christianity, Confucianism, Hinduism, Taoism, and ancient Greek philosophy. Among the six human virtues identified in the study, we find Transcendence, which can be described as the use of compassion, gratitude and hope to experience a larger connection to the universe. 

 

“As a net is made up of a series of ties, so everything in this world is connected by a series of ties. If anyone thinks that the mesh of a net is an independent, isolated thing, he is mistaken. It is called a net because it is made up of a series of interconnected meshes, and each mesh has its place and responsibility in relation to other meshes.”

– Gautama Buddha

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What is interconnection

If religion or philosophy is not your north star, you can also find meaningful discussion of interconnection in science. The phrase “six degrees of separation” is popularly used to describe the theory that any one person is connected to any other person on the planet by only six intermediary contacts. Several studies support the concept, including the Small World Project, which showed empirically that people in the United States are indeed separated by an average of just six contacts. Popular Astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson has eloquently described interconnection in a scientific context countless times throughout his career: 

“We are all connected; To each other, biologically. To the earth, chemically. To the rest of the universe atomically.”

 

Stoicism gets misunderstood

 

When Stoicism is misunderstood, it is often because it is betrayed as a white-knuckled acceptance of all life’s harshness. Just search for the hashtag #Stoicism on Instagram and you’ll likely find imagery of warriors and men carved from stone. While Stoicism does offer an immense utility when it comes to dealing with life’s hardships, it also celebrates life’s natural beauty and wonder. 

 

Stoicism is not just about inner fortitude. It is also a social philosophy, in which the interconnection of all life is integral to understanding oneself. It teaches us to avoid feverish aversion and discard strong attachment to people. 

 

The Stoics inherited and built upon many ideas from the ancient Athenian philosophers like Socrates, Aristotle and Plato. The Stoics would elaborate upon their predecessors’ ideas and create ethical theories, such as oikeiosis. Simply put, oikeiosis describes the idea that we ought to extend kindness to everyone just as we would to our own loved ones. Stoics like Hierocles outlined how we should extend oikeiosis in gradually widening circles, starting with ourselves, moving out through our community, and gradually reaching the outer circles of the human race. 

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Understanding oneself is essential in Stoicism. It’s awfully hard to apply virtues like Justice and Wisdom if you don’t know yourself intimately and honestly. We are so focused inward on our own experiences that we forget to open our eyes to the people around us going through the exact same things. They say reading allows the reader to learn from other people’s experiences and mistakes without actually having to go through them. In this way, recognizing and observing interconnection and shared experience with other people is similar to reading. Other people have, are currently, and will in the future experience the same ups and downs as you. You can learn from this.

 

Emotional interconnection

 

In his book, Stillness Is The Key, Ryan Holiday outlines emotional interconnection. No matter what our background or circumstances, we’ve all known the joy of play or the fear of judgment. The full spectrum of emotions is a shared human experience. Recognizing this brings us closer to one another. Sure, some people are relatively more fortunate than others in economic status or in health. But, it’s important to remember that human experience is relative. One person’s worst day is their worst day, it’s as simple as that. 

 

The Stoics and Buddhists also overlap on the idea that we share a lot of experience with animals. Our sense of exceptionalism only exists in comparison to animals, but this idea doesn’t serve us to be better people. Realizing that we humans are not that different from animals allows us to stay humble and even learn from the nature of the animal kingdom. 

Interconnection in Stoicism

Dr. Rick Hanson, PhD is an expert on positive neuroplasticity, founder of the Wellspring Institute for Neuroscience and Contemplative Wisdom, and a New York Times best-selling author. His book subjects are often a marriage of Buddhist wisdom and neuroscience. He acknowledges the interconnection between humans and animals from both a scientific and a Buddhist perspective in his book Neurodharma: New Science, Ancient Wisdom and Seven Practices of the Highest Happiness:

 

“[…] not surprisingly, the neural hardware that enables our human version of hearing and seeing, learning and wanting, is present in similar forms in the inch-long brain of a squirrel.”

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The Earth and stars connect us

 

Interconnection also exists in a physical, non-sentient way. Ryan Holiday also notes in Stillness Is The Key that much like emotional interconnection, we all share a lot of physical connection. He provides the example of the moon. Go outside tonight and look at the moon. It is the same moon that Ghandi or Seneca looked upon before us. It is the same moon that you looked at as a child. The same goes for the air we breathe, the water we drink, and the earth we stand upon—we share them all timelessly. 

 

I have no practical takeaways to leave you with. I simply hope that this helps to rekindle your sense of interconnection with others. One must look outward to truly understand oneself, and we must truly understand ourselves to carry out our designs for a better world. 

 

“We are all strands in a long rope that stretches back countless generations and ties together every person in every country on every continent. We are all thinking and feeling the same things, we are all made of and motivated by the same things; we are all stardust. And no one needs this understanding more than the ambitious or the creative, since they live so much in their own heads and in their own bubble.”

– Ryan Holiday 

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Stoic Daily Reflection & How Stoics Define Success

Stoic Daily Reflection & How Stoics Define Success

The ancient Stoics emphasized the need to reflect at the end of the day and ask ourselves constructive questions about what went well and what did not. But how can we measure the success of a day? By which criteria are we defining good days and bad days? And since each day constitutes a slice of life itself, how can we extrapolate and scale this assessment to our measures of personal success for life in general? Before you can even begin to reflect on your day like a Stoic, you need to know your measures of success. We’ll discuss different measures of success and provide some practical tips on how to practice Stoic daily reflection. 

 

“Allow not sleep to close your wearied eyes,

Until you have reckoned up each daytime deed:

‘Where did I go wrong? What did I do? And what duty’s left undone?’

From first to last review your acts and then

Reprove yourself for wretched [or cowardly] acts, but rejoice in those done well.”

 

– Epictetus

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Chess pieces with mirror reflection to represent an article on Stoic daily reflection

Traditional measures of success

 

We’re all familiar with traditional measures of success. Job titles, monetary wealth, and happiness are common ones. Are they good measures of success? Perhaps. It depends on your values.

 

This article will focus on a Stoic definition of success, not because it is inherently more important, but because it is inherently less prevalent than traditional definitions of success. 

 

Measuring your personal success by job title or wealth, for example, is baked into modern society. It’s inescapable. If you have a job, then you by default have accountability. You have people and mechanisms in place to hold you accountable and ensure you’re performing to their standards. You have annual performance reviews. The entire capitalist system is designed to reward you based on the perceived value of what you bring to the market. We already spend so much of our lives at work, so let’s not fill our personal time assessing and tracking work-related performance.

 

Who’s there to measure your personal success? Who’s there to keep you accountable for your actions—the steps you take, forward or backward, to uphold what you believe is truly important? The answer is no one but yourself. 

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How do Stoics define success?

 

Stoic definitions of success are unconventional. Stoicism is all about knowing who you are, so that you can act in accordance with your values and ultimately make the world a better place. The 4 Stoic virtues—Justice, Wisdom, Temperance, and Courage—are immensely useful for guiding your actions and informing your values. They have endured as guiding principles for good reason, and you can draw upon them to clarify your decisions  in nearly any situation. But you are unique. You have dreams and aspirations and obligations to juggle. This is why it’s useful to define your own values and learn how to measure them during your Stoic daily reflection. 

 

Measures of success need to be just that: measurable. If you can’t quantify and track it, it’s fairly hard to improve it.

 

Here are some ways to measure your success when you sit down to practice Stoic daily reflection:

  • Hours of quality time spent with family
  • Hours of quality sleep
  • Minutes spent meditating 
  • Number of mindful responses to difficult or frustrating situations
  • Minutes spent exercising 
  • Time spent truly listening to others
  • Number of hugs or other signs of intimacy
  • Number of healthy meals 
  • Instances where you felt fear and acted despite it
  • Number of acts of compassion 
  • Number of pages read (here are some of our favorites books on Stoicism)
Chess piece with reflection on black background

Stoic reflection questions

 

It may not always be feasible or practical to literally track metrics like these. They are useful for creating some accountability for recurring values or behaviors you’d like to display more consistently. But we don’t want to turn our Stoic daily reflection into a mechanical chore of pouring over numbers. The ancient Stoics were writers. Marcus Aurelius’ Meditations was literally his personal journal. It was never meant to be published. 

 

Writing your thoughts down at the end of the day in honest reflection is a powerful tool. Writing has an almost magical ability to turn thoughts into reality. It clarifies your thinking and allows you to review, edit, and plan in a way that thinking without a pen and paper simply does not. 

 

Here are some questions to serve as prompts to help your daily Stoic reflection: 

 

  • Did I act in contradiction to my values? If yes, why? How will I prevent this in the future?
  • Was I honest to others and to myself?  
  • Did I do anything to make the world a better place in any way? 
  • Did I handle obstacles with calm and grace? 
  • What are my plans for tomorrow? What are the potential obstacles that could stand in the way? How can I avoid or prevent those obstacles? Premeditatio malorum
  • Was I able to resist desires and temptations? 
  • Did I have an opportunity to face a fear? How did I respond to this?
  • Did my words promote peace and reconciliation? Were they in harmony with my values?
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How do Stoics define success?

 

Any Stoic practice of reflection should end with a gratitude practice. The Stoics had their now-famous phrase Memento mori (Latin for ‘remember you will die’). This is not meant to send you into a downward spiral of morbid despair. Instead, it’s meant to renew your excitement for life today. Remind yourself that this present moment is precious. Make a mental or written list of things you were grateful for today. 

 

Your intention in the morning should be to neglect none of your values. If you can perform at least one positive action in relation to each value, then perhaps that day can be considered a good one. The Stoic practice of daily reflection requires a mid-day check in. Often our days contain distractions and conflicting priorities. It’s important to pause during the day and ask yourself how well you’re upholding your values. This gives you the opportunity to course-correct if things aren’t going well. 

 

Acting in accordance with our true values and Stoic virtues should be integral to our own measure of personal success. Make this easy to remember by boiling down your values into keywords. Use these keywords as memory cues to aid your daily assessment and reflection.

 

Finally, don’t be too hard on yourself. The ultimate goal of Stoicism and Stoic daily reflection is to strengthen yourself so that you can help others. It’s a bit of a cliche, but one worth repeating here: You can’t truly love others unless you love yourself first. You will have unbalanced days. But never give up, for it is the act of striving for greatness and falling short that adds meaning and distinction to life.

 

“It is not by muscle, speed, or physical dexterity that great things are achieved, but by reflection, force of character, and judgment.”

 – Marcus Tullius Cicero

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Stoicism And Mindfulness: The Fundamental Tools For Balance

Stoicism And Mindfulness: The Fundamental Tools For Balance

Nobody wants to work themselves into burnout or lonely corners from years of neglecting loved ones for the sake of success. Reasonable people would agree there is no height of success that justifies self-sacrifice. Yet we can be pulled to stray from the middle path, heading instead toward an imbalanced penchant for ambition. There are extremely powerful machines in play—rampant commercialism fueled by your personal data, the sense of inferiority that comes from social media’s false reality—that push us to work harder on increasingly complex tasks. Conversely, nobody wants to be passive and powerless against life’s challenges. We know from experience that doing difficult or scary things ultimately provides the most lasting sense of satisfaction. We do not want to disengage with work and become lazy and stagnant. I believe that finding this balance between ambition and passivity is a challenge we all know. Stoicism and mindfulness can help. 

This article aims to help us realize subtle distinctions between Stoicism and mindfulness and their importance. It’s also an examination of the fundamental pursuit of this blog: finding balance. If you’ve read the blog before, you know that Stoicism and mindfulness are integral elements of the content. I don’t just want to write about these two practices to share with the readers what they are. Rather, I want to explore and promote their practicality for the sole purpose of helping people strike that crucial balance between action and rest. 

Find balance with Stoicism and mindfulness

Stoicism and mindfulness: the framework and the tools

 

Stoicism as a practical philosophy is widely applicable in nearly all areas of life. But what does it lack? Except for the quiet and stillness that the Stoics prescribed, many of Stoicism’s lessons intend to help us respond correctly to our environment. Stoicism is designed to help us make intelligent choices, even amid chaos, and act in accordance with our virtues. But it doesn’t offer much technical advice on how to do this. 

 

The writings of the Stoics like Epictetus and Marcus Aurelius sometimes have a trial-by-fire implication. Let’s take professional fighting as an analogy. The way in which Stoicism prepares us to respond to our environment is like a fighter preparing for a fight by only sparring and reflecting upon how it went afterwards. But we know that professional fighters have other technical, fundamental ways in which they train. They must increase their cardiovascular capacity by strengthening the heart through running or cycling. They drill certain movements slowly and repeatedly to build the muscle memory and neural connections to automate their responses. 

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Mindfulness meditation as a training device

So how do we train ourselves to respond effectively to our ever-changing and unpredictable environment? This is where mindfulness and meditation come into play. These two practices are like the running shoes or the bicycle for the fighter. They are tools that help us build a specific capability. In this case, the capability that mindfulness and meditation allow us to build is the ability to observe our thoughts before they turn into raw emotion or reaction. Mindfulness meditation, in particular, trains us to observe thoughts or surroundings non-judgmentally. With repetition, a space opens up following a thought or a stimulus in which we have a choice. The choice is how we react. 

 

The Stoics teach about reacting to insults with indifference or even sympathy for the person slinging the insult. Remaining silent or responding with grace to insult or criticism requires us to identify what’s happening and to slow things down. Meditation and mindfulness are the training tools that allow us to practice this anytime, anywhere. What good is it to know, theoretically or philosophically, how we want to react to challenging and chaotic situations if we do not have well-trained minds and nervous systems? 

 

Stoicism and mindfulness blog

Rest and action are everything

We can broadly categorize life into two buckets: rest and action. At all times, either we are doing something with a desired outcome in mind or we are simply resting or doing something for the sheer enjoyment of it. Both are indispensable and require different approaches. 

 

Stoicism is fantastic for teaching us how to act courageously in action. Amor fati (the love of fate), memento mori (remember your mortality), and premeditatio malorum (the premeditation of evils) are epithets of Stoicism—all of which promote the idea of acting effectively in the face of fear. The Four Stoic Virtues are an excellent mechanism with which we can stay continuously oriented by what is truly important in life. These are all amazing ideas which, when practiced, can help us work and act with precision and efficiency. 

 

Mindfulness and meditation, on the other hand, with their underlying focus on the present moment and appreciation of its beauty, are excellent for extracting the most from life. These two practices help us slow down, focus on our breath to relieve stress, and experience life outside of a realm that is almost defined by capitalistic pursuits. As discussed above, meditation is a training device with which we can improve the observation of thoughts and stimuli to process them before they become regretful reactions.

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Stoicism and mindfulness for balance

Pondering this idea—that life is always either in motion or at rest—allows us to recognize when one or the other is happening, so that we can engage with the appropriate toolkit. We need a different mentality when it comes to business meetings than we do for picnics with our significant other. You can derive real gains and value from this awareness. 

 

Imbalance comes when we allow one of these two areas of life to become excessive. Nobody wants deathbed regrets. Grinding yourself to a fine dust in the name of material success is a probable deathbed regret. Constantly shying away from discomfort and challenge and ultimately failing to realize your inner potential is another. This is a tricky balance to strike, at least for me, which is a driving motivation for me to write this blog (because I’m still figuring it out). This is why the combination of Stoicism and mindfulness is so powerful to me personally. I will continue to explore topics like these and try to distill them into practical and digestible formats that (I hope) can help people live a balanced life. 

 

It’s difficult to argue against the fact that Stoicism (along with other philosophies and religions) is ripe with sound instruction on how to live our lives. When we read Eastern philosophy, people like Thich Nhat Hanh or The Dalai Lama, concepts such as non-doing and gratitude become glaring reminders that we need to slow down and see the miracle that is finite life. Furthermore, meditation and mindfulness actually allow us to build the skills needed to implement our philosophy in challenging and unpredictable circumstances. 

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How To Practice The 4 Stoic Virtues

How To Practice The 4 Stoic Virtues

One of the defining features of Stoicism is its practicality. The ancient Stoics would even devise clever phrases and mnemonic devices to help their students carry with them reminders of how to act in accordance with the fundamental ideas and virtues of their philosophy. ‘Act according to nature’ was one such reminder leveraged by the earliest Stoics to help them choose the right action when faced with any dilemma or situation. For the Stoics, to live according to nature did not mean retreating into the wilderness; instead, it meant that humans are naturally capable of reason, and this profound gift distinguishes us from other animals and allows us to make virtuous decisions. The focus of this article is the ‘act’ part of this phrase. We will describe and explore the 4 Stoic virtues and identify several practical ways we can implement them.

 

The 4 Stoic Virtues – Wisdom 

 

For the Stoics, the virtue of wisdom was achieved along two converging paths. The first is the study of philosophy. In a practical and modern sense, this is simply reading philosophy and non-fiction. It was as simple in ancient times as it is today: read, study, and challenge your own beliefs regularly. The second and most crucial path to wisdom is the implementation of this philosophy. We can read powerful and transformational ideas until we’re blue in the face but they mean nothing until we venture out and put them into practice. Here are our practical tips for harnessing the Stoic virtue of wisdom in your own life. 

 

  • Read voraciously, but read outside your comfort zone. Read genres you don’t normally read; read fiction, history, science and biographies. Here’s an interesting reading experiment to broaden your horizons: try reading a book that’s predominantly marketed to the opposite sex. Said differently, if you’re a man, read a book that’s generally targeted to a female audience. If you’re a woman, read a book that’s generally targeted to a male audience. Here are two suggestions, 12 Rules For Life by Jordan Peterson and The Moment Of Lift by Melinda Gates. 
  • Take notes while you read, but not only of the ideas that interest you but also write down action items with a date by which you will do them.

Reading best practices

  • Read less. This may seem counter to our message, but sometimes, when you read a truly transformational set of ideas, it’s best to walk around for a few weeks carrying these ideas without introducing new ones to confound and distract from your ability to turn the ideas into behaviors. 
  • Read to your weaknesses. I used to have a serious problem with public speaking. Now, I sometimes speak in front of thousands. Do I still struggle? Of course. But instead of curling up and quitting, I made it my mission to get better. One of the actions I took was to read several books on public speaking. I used what was useful and discarded the rest along my path to improvement. 
The 4 Stoic Virtues - Courage

The 4 Stoic Virtues – Courage 

 

We often think of courage as a single act embedded in a particular moment in time. The imagery of courage that comes to mind is that of a firefighter entering a burning building to save others or a soldier running headlong into battle. Indeed, this is courage, but the Stoics would often speak of a more ordinary and sustained type of courage.

 

“Two words should be committed to memory and obeyed: persist and resist.” — Epictetus 

 

Persistence is the idea I want to remain on for a moment. It takes courage to work a draining, unfulfilling job for 30 years to support one’s family. It takes courage to raise children with love and devotion. Furthermore, it takes courage to strive constantly to improve oneself and avoid slipping into the lazy mediocrity that is mass-marketed to us on a daily basis. This persistence and resistance, over a long and uninterrupted path, is the embodiment of courage that the Stoics emphasized. 

 

It’s relevant because it’s pervasive 

 

This kind of courage is more relevant for us to ponder and exercise than the kind required to enter a burning building to save another person because the former is required each and every day. The Stoic virtue of courage, in the modern sense, is showing up every day to do your best whether you feel like it or not. Courage is resisting the idea of comfort and happiness that is constantly marketed to us through ‘convenient’ technological innovations. It is also the ability to stand apart from the masses, even if it causes you to be misunderstood socially, in the pursuit of your values and virtues.

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Here are some practical exercises in the Stoic virtue of courage: 

  • Resist the urge to rest when it first appears. It is true that we need days off and leisure time to simply be. However, the urge to take a rest day sometimes arises before it is truly necessary. Delay the gratification of taking a day off by just one day. Often, you’ll find that the following day you will feel better despite having done the work. If, however, you still feel exhausted despite having delayed gratification by one day, then by all means take some time for yourself to rest and recover. 

Take risks 

  • Let your dissenting voice be heard. If you find yourself in a situation that feels wrong to you, be the first person to say something about it. Do this with care and compassion for the others involved in the situation, but don’t allow harmful situations to endure around you without providing constructive criticism first, even if it means taking a social risk. 
  • Voluntarily expose yourself to your fears. In clinical psychology, there is overwhelming evidence demonstrating that exposure and therefore habituation to fear is the primary means to overcoming it: 

 

The experience of anxiety involves nervous system arousal. If your nervous system is not aroused, you cannot experience anxiety. Understandably, but unfortunately, most people attempt to cope with feelings of anxiety by avoiding situations or objects that elicit the feelings. Avoidance, however, prevents your nervous system from habituating. Therefore, avoidance guarantees that the feared object or situation will remain novel, and hence arousing, and hence anxiety provoking. Moreover, avoidance tends to generalize over time. If you avoid the elevator at work, you will soon begin to avoid all elevators, and then all buildings that house elevators, etcetera. Soon enough, you’ll be living in a prison of avoidance.

Noam Shpancer Ph.D., Overcoming Fear: The Only Way Out is Through, Psychology Today

 

The 4 Stoic Virtues – Temperance 

 

In simple terms, the Stoic virtue of temperance is the resistance against desire. However, it is a nuanced concept that requires some further exploration. Ryan Holiday succinctly and eloquently summarizes the virtue of temperance: “Temperance is guarded against extremes, not relying on the fleetingness of pleasure for happiness nor allowing the fleetingness of pain to destroy it”. Viewed from this lens, we see that temperance resides within the moderate center between pleasure and pain. Temperance is balance.

 

Pursuing temperance, by nature, is precarious and difficult to master. Achieving balance between doing and being is perhaps the core pursuit of this blog. This challenging balance requires us to be relentless in evaluation and corrective action of what is excessive in our lives. Here are some quick practical tips to consider in the pursuit of balance: 

 

  • Practice some degree of minimalism, or at least some resistance against marketing. 
  • If you sit all day for work, stand at night. I mean this as a practical tip—if you’re forced to sit in a chair all day for work, make sure you stand at night when you’re reading or watching television. This is also an analogy for balance in general. Find something that is excessive in your life, and work to counterbalance it. 
  • Wait ten minutes on your desires. When the desire arises to say, eat junk food, smoke, or drink, simply wait for ten minutes and usually the desire will subside.
The 4 Stoic Virtues - Justice

The 4 Stoic Virtues – Justice 

 

The Stoic virtue of justice is often misunderstood. At first glance, people tend to interpret it along the lines of the criminal justice system of today. Criminal acts would certainly fall outside the scope of justice in the Stoic sense, but it extends much deeper than this. In Stoicism, justice means acting for the greater good of the community, even to the extent where self-sacrifice is required. 

 

This idea of justice would have certainly trickled down to the Stoics from their Greek predecessors, where we see stories of ultimate self-sacrifice in the name of civic duty. The story of Socrates’ demise is a compelling example of this. Socrates was accused of impiety (worshipping gods not recognized by the state in Athens at the time) by political rivals who were motivated to put forth this likely unfounded charge. Socrates argued his case in public but was ultimately sentenced to death. Friends of Socrates arranged for his escape by bribing the prison guards. Socrates refused to flee in exile, opting instead to respect the law even though he knew his sentence was unjust, and accept his sentence to death. 

Find the opportunities to practice

 

This is an extreme example and a moral dilemma that none of us is likely to face. However, we are presented with countless opportunities to practice the Stoic virtue of justice in daily life. We can be compassionate, present, and make moral decisions that should ripple outward from ourselves first, then to our family, community, and further still (but always in that order).

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Here are a few practical ways to expand your capacity for the Stoic virtue of justice: 

 

  • Focus your influence locally. Don’t be the person who’s obsessed with and engaged in online activism about things happening far away. First, be the person who supports and strengthens their community. 
  • Holding a door for someone is a low bar for compassion. Don’t confuse common courtesy with compassion. Your time and energy spent to help (or at the very least listen to) others is a good measure of your capacity for compassion. 
  • An interruption is a golden opportunity for compassion. If someone interrupts you, it is almost always because they are in need. An interruption also implies that you will have to subvert your own needs or desires for a moment, and is therefore a great chance to practice virtue. 
  • Pick up litter when you see it. This is only partly an analogy for exerting some effort for the betterment of the community. 

 

Make life interesting

 

Stoicism has endured over millennia as a philosophy for life because of its emphasis on practicality. There is nothing more satisfying than reading powerful thoughts that resonate with you (like the 4 Stoic Virtues outlined in this article) and then seeing yourself acting in accordance with them. Finding ways to act in accordance with your own highest values leads to a better present and future. This should be viewed as a process and even as a fun and experimental journey. Let’s not view the pursuit of virtue as a teeth-grinding heavy lift, but more as a journey flowing with the requisite vicissitudes that make life interesting. The moment you settle for mediocrity is the moment life becomes boring. Enjoy the process, be honest with your progress, success and failure, but also have a light heart and compassionate eye for yourself.

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The Right Effort To Find Peace

The Right Effort To Find Peace

We often think of peace as stillness. We think of tall grass gently swaying in a lakeside breeze, or of sitting in meditation with a waft of incense smoke curling up towards the ceiling. But peace also exists in a state of motion. Peace can even stem from discomfort. Peace is more than the common imagery of pinkish-orange sunsets or a lotus floating serenely on calm water. When we look a little closer at peace in its various forms, as this article intends to do, we see that peace is not an inherent state granted to some and withheld from others. Nor is peace waiting for us on the other side of a long meditation retreat. No, sometimes, we find peace through our ability to act upon that which we can control. Peace is equally our inaction—our inaction in the face of that which we cannot control. 

The Oxford dictionary defines peace as ‘freedom from disturbance; tranquility’ and ‘mental calm; serenity.’

Find Peace

But what’s the opposite of peace? 

The same dictionary provides the antonyms agitation, distress.

Not to focus on the negative, but let’s continue this train of thought. If distress is the opposite of peace, then what causes distress? Perhaps preventing the causes of distress is one way to find peace. Let’s take a look at the first 4 causes of distress as reported by Medical News Today in their article What are the causes and symptoms of emotional distress?:

 

  • feeling overwhelmed, helpless, or hopeless
  • feeling guilty without a clear cause
  • spending a lot of time worrying
  • having difficulty thinking or remembering

Now, it goes without saying that this article is by no means medical advice. See your doctor if you’re experiencing extreme or prolonged distress. But from an actionable philosophy perspective, if we look at these four causes of distress one common remedy jumps to mind: ceasing to focus on what cannot be controlled. In the above list we see words like helpless, overwhelmed, and worrying. We feel helpless when we have no traction and feel overwhelmed when we have too much to do. We worry, often, about future scenarios that are almost always unlikely to play out. Again, the first step to solving all of these problems is to identify uncontrollable variables and then to waste no energy pursuing them, in mind and in body. This way we not only eliminate extraneous worries, but we also zero in on what’s most likely to lead us in the right direction.

You have power over your mind—not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.

– Marcus Aurelius

But how do we identify controllable vs. uncontrollable variables?

When we act with deliberation and careful reflection on the things we do control, we can find peace in knowing that we’ve done all we can. Conversely, when we exert ourselves against the immovable objects that are the things beyond our control, we feel drained, discouraged, and distressed. But how can we identify the things within our control?

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Sometimes, controllable variables are obvious. If I study well for the exam, I will likely receive a higher grade. Here the variable is the amount of time spent studying, which is entirely within our control. Other times, they are less obvious. What if I have exam anxiety during the test? Here the variable is the level of anxiety, which is much more difficult to actively control.

One thing to note about attempting to control variables for a desired outcome is that the worries associated with it usually outnumber the actions you can take. You can see this for yourself if you take a desired outcome of an upcoming project or event and write down all the things you can actually do to ensure it goes well. Then, write down all the worries or potentially bad outcomes, and you’ll likely find that this list is significantly longer than the list of real actions. This long list of undesirable outcomes is like a sinkhole, consuming our focus and diverting our energy away from the right actions.

Singular focus to find peace

It is often one or two simple actions that decrease the chances of the worries from ever becoming real. Exam anxiety. Traffic jams on the way there. Mental block. Surprise questions. Nausea. Headaches. Forgot my calculator… These are all possible distress-causing worries from the above test-taker’s example. But from our vantage point, it’s easy to see that there are only one or two actions our student can take in this scenario: study hard, leave for the exam well in advance. That’s it. By focusing on these actions within our control, we find peace, but we also find confidence, which is surely to have a mitigating effect on all those distress-causing worries. We realize that our singular focus clears the path, and any unexpected obstacles encountered along the way will either be removed by prior preparation or there was nothing we could have done.

How to find peace

Objectively good vs subjectively bad

Another way to approach this early identification of what’s within control and what’s not is to consider the possible outcomes, both good and bad. This simple and imaginative brainstorming (deliberately, on your own terms and not amid the whirlwind of habitual worry) allows us to identify the outcomes we desire and those which we fear. Once you do this, ask yourself which are objectively good and which are subjectively bad. By objectively good I mean a real result that could be observed and classified as good by anyone. By subjectively bad I mean a result that you may perceive as bad, but in reality may be caused by your fears and that may not actually harm you.

Let’s take Sam, our friendly sales associate about to pitch his company’s new service package to a potential client. Objectively good outcome for Sam: the client is convinced that Sam’s company’s services will solve their problems and agrees to pay for their services. Subjectively bad: the client doesn’t like Sam. The client doesn’t like Sam’s appearance. Sam does something embarrassing during the pitch.

If we take a step back and analyze Sam’s potential outcomes, an exercise aided by their new classification of objective or subjective, we notice a few things. First, we see that the objective ones are a matter of fact whereas the subjective ones are more imaginary. Secondly, we see that the objective outcomes are measurable, and therefore actionable, whereas the subjective ones are neither of those things. 

Working backwards

Now Sam has one objective outcome he wants to pursue: demonstrating the problem-solving potential of his services to his prospective client. This is measurable. Either he returns to his office later that afternoon with paperwork to onboard a new client or he does not—1 new client vs. 0 new clients. Now he can work backwards from this one objective. Sam can work to identify the client’s needs. He can make strong associations between the advantages of his services and the client’s desires and work on convincing arguments. 

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He can action all of this without his focus being clouded by immaterial concerns such as his smile, his haircut, or whether or not he’s ‘likeable’. Sam cannot measure whether or not the potential client likes his smile, haircut, or anything else about him for that matter, nor will any of these factors likely affect his desired outcome. Therefore, Sam is much better off allocating little or no effort to these variables.

But how does he prevent those subjectively bad things? I mean, surely he doesn’t want to do anything embarrassing, surely he wants to arrive with a confident smile, right? Of course he does, but the thing about undivided attention on his measurable outcome is that it allows him to arrive more prepared, less frazzled, more confident and therefore convincing. Not only that, but when he has singular focus, he can simply do the work. He can find pleasure in working on the task at hand. He’s already identified the desired outcome in the beginning of his exercise, so now he can let go of it. Now he can enjoy his work, leaving him tranquil, free of disturbance, at peace.

This is but one way to find peace

I want to acknowledge that I’m in no position to define peace or how to seek it for anyone. Peace can be fluid, personal, and transient. I simply wish for this article to show that careful and deliberate action on what we can control is one means of finding peace. I hope that it provides food for thought for anyone who has ever become disillusioned by their meditation, yoga, or exercise practices for failing to provide peace. 

Peace can come in doing what we’re meant to be doing—and doing it with a sense of lighthearted purpose, conviction and undivided focus. Diverting our efforts from swerving into the ditch of uncontrollable variables can also bring peace. With some quiet reflection before embarking on any journey, we can begin to see the path for what it really is—a singular way forward to something real and measurable. Once we know the path, all we can do is follow it as best we can and deal with unexpected bumps when (or if) they meet us. 

We can’t pray our soul into better condition. We’ve got to move and live our way there. It will take our body—our habits, our actions, our rituals, our self care—to get our spirit in the right place, just as it takes our mind and spirit to get our body to the right place.

– Ryan Holiday

Debunking 8 Common Misconceptions About Stoicism: What It Really Means To Be A Stoic

I blame the English dictionary for a good chunk of the misconceptions about Stoicism. Look up the word ‘stoic’ there and you’ll find something like, “a person who can endure pain or hardship without showing their feelings or complaining.” Or maybe it’s the wealth of...

The Three Stoic Disciplines: Desire, Action, and Assent

Stoicism is a guiding framework in my life, but so is business. I can think of no better school of thought than business when it comes to manifesting ideas into reality—big, complex ideas. Schools of business and businesses in practice are fountains of knowledge when...

Introduction To Stoicism And Mindfulness

If you're new to mindfulness or Stoicism, we hope you'll find these articles written as introductory resources useful. We aim to answer questions like "What is mindfulness?" and "How can I begin practicing Stoicism?" We hope something here will set you off on your...

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13 Principles For Practicing Taoism

13 Principles For Practicing Taoism

What is Taoism? The confusing aspect for many is its definition. Many religions teach philosophy and dogma. But Taoism and Zen stand this tendency on its head. The first chapter of the Tao Te Ching simply states that that the Tao is indefinableteaching that each person can discover the Tao for themselves. Most people have a tendency to grasp after concrete definitions and conclude that without rules and dogma the Tao is impossible to ‘grasp’. But, ‘grasping’ is an impediment to self-realisation. Here are three easy steps to begin practicing Taoism. 

1. Don’t concentrate on the meaning of Tao. 

2. Taoism is more than a philosophy or religion. It is to be understood as a ‘way’ of being.

3. The path of understanding Taoism is accepting yourself. Live your life and discover who you are for yourself. Your nature is ever-changing and at the same time is always the same. This, however, is paradox: something that the human mind resists. But if we examine most spiritual and religious traditions they all have one element in commonthe embracing of paradoxfor the human condition, itself, is a paradox. Don’t try to resolve the various paradoxes of liferather, accept them. You will find the Tao Te Ching chock-full of paradoxes. Embrace them.

Practicing Taoism

 

Taoism teaches a person to flow with life. Taoism doesn’t apply labels to its nature, because it would limit a person. This philosophy teaches us to live in the heart. It teaches that by living you will express your own true nature. Here are some guidelines: 

1. With care, aid those who are merely extended expressions of our own nature. We are all fundamentally connected.

2. At the same time, be true to yourself. Be authentic. Allow yourself to be vulnerable and imperfect.

3. Connect to the world as you wish to be treated. Live the Golden Rule: ‘Do unto others’.

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Practicing Taoism by The Mindful Stoic

4. To those unwilling to accept you for who you are, no action is required.

 

Materialism

5. Own nothing. You are merely a passing custodian of items outside of your nature. Of course, we all need material possessions in order to function in today’s world but don’t become overly attached to the material world. It is surprising what we can do without when push comes to shove.   

6. Take time, relax, and just explore the world. Taoism has no fixed plans. Follow your instincts. It’s in the pause of the breath that each step of living becomes visible for your larger life to unfold and improve.

Nothing is softer or more flexible

than water yet, 

nothing can resist it.

Nature does not hurry, 

yet everything is accomplished.

– Chuang Tzu

7. Smile when you need to pick a possible next step. Breathe when needing a break since to breathe is to become one with yourself. Alternate the two and the path will become free and clear for a lifetime of wonder to explore. Anything is possible within this simple practice.

 ‘When the path is clear, why do you throw stones before you?’

Expectations and healthy-striving

8. Let go of expectations. The more expectations you have of your life, the less you will accomplish or become. A Taoist lives life without expectations, living fully in the here and now. However, as we know, people need a few expectations as it is part of navigating life. We can practice healthy-striving, but like the Stoics, let go of the outcome of your own actions. 

 

Here’s the secret. Create only a single expectation at a time for any future experience: an expectation that you will smile or have some fun. Don’t place any expectation of learning or changing into your expectation. Learning from your own experiences and mistakes or changing yourself for the better will occur on its own accord without the burden of expectations. 

 

Expectations plant the seeds for the opposite to occuryou won’t learn, change, or grow from your efforts or your experiences. By creating a single, simple expectation such as smiling, this then becomes something you can always fulfil since you can empower that action to happen. Any expectation more complicated than that or relying on something outside of yourself (attachment to the outcome) just sets up the future to not meeting your needs.

9. The process of learning Taoism is also a process of healing. Take time to heal. Don’t rush. Be patient. Embrace your body and mind with healing.

Practicing Taoism by Colin MacRae

The silence of practicing Taoism

 

10. Embrace silence. Take time off for silence. Nothing could be more important. Silence is the soul’s break for freedom.

Silence is a great source of strength.

To the mind that is still,

the whole universe surrenders.

– Chuang Tzu

 

11. Let go of perfection. Work at being the best you can at whatever you do in life, but also embrace the faults of life and your individual flaws. Imperfections make us individuals. Imperfections make us beautiful. Accept the good and bad or more accurately, blur the distinctions between the unhealthy labels of ‘good’ or ‘bad’.

Practicing Taoism blog post
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12. Explore your essence. Learn how to trust your own intuition. Listen to your own heart. If something doesn’t feel right, then you need to examine why. Let go of judgements that hold you back. Remove conflict and anger from your relationships. If you find yourself in dysfunctional relationships either set up firm boundaries for yourself, or remove yourself from the relationship altogether. Life is too short. ‘Empty your boat while crossing the river of life.’ For more on this concept, discover our article Shaolin Master Shi Heng Yi: 16 Practical Lessons On Self-Mastery & Peace.

He who knows others is wise.

He who knows himself is enlightened.

At the center of your being, you have the answer;

you know who you are and 

you know what you want 

– Lao Tzu

13. And finally, and most importantly, be kind to yourself and pace your life to match your own true essence.

Taoism is acceptance of your life.

It’s following your breath to find peace.

It’s opening up a smile to enable possibility

To smile is to say yes to your life.  

Save 46% on Deep Work by Cal Newport

Debunking 8 Common Misconceptions About Stoicism: What It Really Means To Be A Stoic

I blame the English dictionary for a good chunk of the misconceptions about Stoicism. Look up the word ‘stoic’ there and you’ll find something like, “a person who can endure pain or hardship without showing their feelings or complaining.” Or maybe it’s the wealth of...

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Stoicism is a guiding framework in my life, but so is business. I can think of no better school of thought than business when it comes to manifesting ideas into reality—big, complex ideas. Schools of business and businesses in practice are fountains of knowledge when...

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I’ve said this before, but I feel it’s important to lead with it here: mindfulness is not a means to an end. Mindfulness is a means to a means—a way of waking up to life. Without mindfulness, so much of life escapes us. Without mindfulness, we’re governed by impulses...

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