The following is part two of a two-part piece on the four categories of attachment and how we can begin to foster non-attachment to alleviate suffering. Click here to read part one. 

The third of the four categories of attachment: opinions and views

The world is in a constant state of change. The essence of survival is the ability to adapt to one’s environment. Holding fixed views about a changing world is a bit like using an outdated map. Not only is it unwise, it runs counter to how we’re wired to survive. The greatest product of human evolution is the brain. But the brain didn’t evolve for nothing. It evolved to help us navigate a complex, diverse, and evolving environment. To hold fixed views, especially if they become outdated or invalid, is to stray off the middle path and become lost. 

It is easy to find ourselves attached to certain beliefs. We inherit some from our parents, some trickle down to us from our culture, while others take root gradually, often without us even knowing it, from our repeated behaviors. 

It’s perfectly normal to have beliefs and opinions. We need to have some distinction between what we believe to be true and what we believe to be false to navigate the world. It’s only when a change occurs in the environment, rendering one of our held beliefs invalid or irrelevant and when we fail to correct for this that we suffer due to our attachment to that belief. 

There are two things we can do to promote non-attachment to ideas and opinions. First, we should know our values. Values, such as peace, health, compassion, empathy, and honesty, erode less easily than ideas. Then, with our values as our anchor, we can borrow from the scientific method. We don’t need to be doubtful or distrusting, but we can extend a healthy skepticism and curiosity. Scientists are not ashamed of being wrong. In fact, working to prove themselves wrong is part of the job.

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Non-attachment & our beliefs

Here are three probing questions you can ask yourself to place your beliefs under the microscope. 

1. Is it important to me that others know I hold this belief? (We should not hold beliefs solely for the benefit or social acceptance of others.)
2. Is it important to me that other people believe this as well? (The perceived need to popularize an idea may be an indication that you are overly attached to it.)
3. Is it important that you’re right about the idea? (An idea is a construct that is separate and distinct from yourself. Needing to be right about it is a red flag indicating that you need to practice non-attachment and divorce your ego from the idea.)

Non-attachment to ideas, thoughts, and opinions frees us to move more fluidly along with the current of our changing environment. This allows us to learn and grow, but ultimately it lets us open our eyes to experience the true beauty of life in all its wonder and mystery. 

The fourth of the four categories of attachment: permanent ego

Buddhist teachings are very clear about the harms of attachment to the idea that not only are you a separate and distinct entity, but that what makes you ‘you’ doesn’t change. This is a hard one for most people to grasp at first. We have a name and it’s true that no two people are alike. We have our quirks, idiosyncrasies, hobbies, and preferences, which are unlike those of everyone else. This Buddhist teaching (the Stoics, too, warned against over-attachment to ego) aims not to tear down all that you love about your uniqueness. It’s not meant to foster confusion or aimlessness or lack of identity.

Instead, the effort to understand our impermanent, interconnected nature drives us to discovery. It’s an expansion of boundaries. It allows us to mesh with our surroundings and connect with other people on a deeper level, because we are all fundamentally interconnected.

The science of self

This is not just woo woo, either. In his book No Self, No Problem, Chris Niebauer, Ph.D. draws upon his work in neuroscience to explain that much of what leads us to the sense of self is generated by the left-brain.

The left-brain is the language center. It’s responsible for the voice we hear when we think, and one of its primary functions is the identification of patterns. Pattern recognition is useful for our survival. Realizing that certain food grows in certain areas at certain times, for example, is a positive survival mechanism. The thing to note here is that the food growing in those places at those times has nothing to do with us. In fact, it’s not a pattern at all. Patterns only exist in our mind. They are constructs of the mind. Nature is random. Much of our sense of self, too, is based on patterns we notice about ourselves. Furthermore, the brain often misinterprets patterns.

This is not to say that we should discard our left-brain interpretation of ourselves or how it shapes the ego. This is an elegantly useful mechanism that has done very well for human survival. It is to say, however, that we should try to read between the lines of our experience and see the beautiful randomness of nature and of ourselves. We should cultivate mindfulness to experience life through the interpretation of the right-brain, which is involved in experiencing the world without attaching language and fabricated meaning to it.

Not only is the sense of self a construct of meaning that we project onto the world, it’s also constantly changing. Similarly to how fixed beliefs hold us back against the backdrop of an ever-changing, random world, a rigid failure to embrace changes in the ego is also suboptimal. 

Case in point

Consider two very different work scenarios to illustrate the inutility of attachment to self.

Scenario 1: You have a creative task to perform that is an important deliverable for your job. You block out some time early in the morning when there will be no distractions. With a nice cup of coffee at your side and zero interruptions, you eventually find yourself in a flow state. The work just seems to pour out of you effortlessly. Time evaporates. Your vision tunnels in on the task with ultimate focus. Then, the task is complete. You’re pleased with the result.

Scenario 2: Later that afternoon, you meet with your boss to present your work. She likes the work and sees the right intention therein. But, she tells you that it fails to meet one of the core objectives of the task. She provides valid reasons for the critique, and asks you to rework the piece. You’re hurt. You feel a little inadequate, and you look for ways to disagree, even though you know deep down that your boss is right.

Let’s zoom out a bit to analyze these two scenarios a little more closely. For our analysis, let’s first establish that the person’s core motivation for doing the task in the first place was to satisfy the objective so that they can meet the expectations of their job. In the first situation, the person was able to enter into a state of flow because they weren’t distracted with doubt or any other construct of the ego. The right-brain was at work. They had an objective, they focused on it, and they even enjoyed the process. 

Non-attachment equals freedom

In the second situation, where their boss reviewed their work, they were hindered from meeting their objective because they interjected all kinds of constructs about the ego. If meeting the objective was the primary motivation and if the boss’ feedback was supportive of meeting the objective, then the best thing to do would have been to openly embrace the feedback and proceed to rework the piece. The objective did not change from the first scenario to the second, nor did the task change. Only the person’s failure to notice their attachment to their sense of a distinct and permanent self changed.

I think we all know intellectually that attachment is harmful. Anyone who has or knows someone who has suffered from addiction knows this to be true. When our flights are delayed or when it rains on our picnic, we experience the harmful effects of attachment. We know it intellectually but perhaps not instinctively, because culture, family, and even biology are all factors that push us towards attachment. This is where the right effort of mindfulness comes into play. We can promote non-attachment, but not eliminate it entirely, through patient and persistent mindfulness practice.

Mindfulness to promote non-attachment

Mindfulness practice places a watchful eye on the relationship between sensory stimuli and our reactions to them. With awareness and reflection, we can see where our routines and traditions fail to serve us. We can practice non-attachment to our opinions and beliefs, not because it is a virtuous thing to do, but because it promotes learning and effectiveness. Finally, we can love ourselves and others more deeply if we can begin to remove the ‘I’ and the ‘me’ from our endeavors. The four categories of attachment promote non-attachment by giving us specific categories to focus on. It’s a bit like an athlete who has specific and categorical training protocols: cardio, strength, speed, precision, etc. It’s a framework that assists us in training and practice, but it’s up to us to put in the work. 

The phrase ‘if you love something, set it free’ is used almost exclusively by the speaker to refer to another person. But why don’t we use this phrase on ourselves? We don’t usually think of setting ourselves free, probably because we don’t perceive ourselves as being locked or attached to anything. But upon closer examination, we see we are indeed attached to all kinds of things. The modern world is rife with stimuli deliberately designed to invoke maximum sensory pleasure. We are tethered to all sorts of cultural norms that direct our behavior in ways unseen. We even become attached to societal constructs of time itself. Ancient mindfulness traditions realized that attachment causes suffering. They understood that people with busy lives are subject to attachment without even realizing it. This is why they developed the four categories of attachment to provide structure for an honest examination of our personal attachments.

This is part one of a two-part exploration of the four categories of attachment, which are: 

1.   Sensory pleasures
2.   Rites and rituals
3.   Opinions and views
4.   Ego and sense of self

We’ll discuss these with a modern interpretation, taking into consideration the unique challenges of the twenty-first century. We hope to present some common areas of attachment to inspire in the reader their own curious and honest examination of the four categories of attachment in their own life. The idea that attachment causes suffering is no joke. For some, attachment may cause severe life disruptions. For others, their attachments may merely engender suboptimal performance. Nevertheless, we will attempt to insert some practical advice, some of which is as timeless and tested as the four categories of attachment themselves.  

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The first of the four categories of attachment: sensory pleasures

The four categories of attachment were elaborated thousands of years ago and yet they are still relevant today—perhaps none more so than the first category: sensory pleasures. 

The degree of contemporary relevance is perhaps impertinent here, but it is undeniable that sensory pleasures are a more pervasive source of attachment, super-charged and made widely available by modern technology, than they were when the four categories of attachment were first taught. 

There’s no doubt that most of us struggle with some degree of unhealthy attachment to sensory pleasures, such as on-demand media streaming, social media, free and endless pornography, and, more broadly, the devices that enable all of these things. 

Other sensory pleasures are timeless. A quick Google search of ‘how can I quit [X]…’ auto-fills to reveal that the most searched queries for how to detach oneself from a sensory pleasure are all things to which humans have been finding themselves excessively attached for millennia. This Google exercise revealed smoking, drinking, gambling, and sugar as the top things people are searching to quit. 

Modern sensory pleasures are increasingly powered by sophisticated technology while the classic vices, such as drinking and gambling, evidently require no new innovations to find themselves deeply rooted within our dopamine-reward systems.

How to untether yourself from attachment to sensory pleasure

So, what can we do to detach ourselves from sensory pleasures? First, if you suffer from addiction, do not take this article as help. Instead, please speak to your doctor and seek professional help. Additionally, for an excellent conversation on the hard science of addiction, check out the episode of the Huberman Lab Podcast where host Dr. Andrew Huberman speaks with Dr. Anna Lembke, a leading addictions expert.

Ancient mindfulness teachings suggest that to combat sensory attachment we should pay particular attention to the five bodily senses. In doing so, we should consider the five senses as gates between the external world and our experience of it. In this way, mindfulness acts as the gatekeeper. Mindful awareness as our sentry standing guard directs stimuli received from the environment and channels it into a skillful response. 

Mindful awareness prevents stimuli from entering our experience unchecked. An incredibly simple piece of advice—pay attention to what you touch, taste, see, hear, and smell—but when you think about it, it is powerful advice especially as it relates to our attachment to sensory pleasures entering through these sense gates. 

Case in point

On a hot day, strolling about town, one might pass by a patio bar and see a waitress serving tall, frosty beers to a group of relaxed and cheerful patrons. The observer whose mindfulness stands guard at the gates of sight can see the beers, note that they have seen the beers, notice the craving that arises from the sight of the beers, heed that the craving was caused by the sight of the beers, and then may or may not choose to respond to the craving, now aware of the true origin of the craving (external sight, not internal desire). 

On the other hand, the person who has no gatekeeper simply sees the frosty beers, experiences craving, and proceeds to act without insight into the true source of the craving. 

This applies to all kinds of sensory experience—the news that we hear, the sweet, salt, and fat that we taste, the warm and soft blankets that we feel when the alarm clock rings. When we train ourselves with repetition and patience to observe stimuli as they reach our sense gates, we begin to form more insightful and tempered responses to them. Insight and temperance reduce our habitual and reflexive attachment to sensory pleasures. 

The second of the four categories of attachment: rites and rituals

The second of the four categories of attachment are rites and rituals. This category was originally taught to prevent monks and nuns from getting lost in the ceremony of religious practice and straying from the true purpose of it. Even the words ‘rites’ and ‘rituals’ have religious connotations. 

But everyone, not least of whom non-religious people of today, are faced with dozens of rites and rituals to which we become attached. We just don’t call them rites and rituals, but in essence they are the same. 

Today, we call them routines, schedules, weekends, holidays, and vacations. These rites and rituals are embedded in culture and society. Consider all the rites and rituals associated with the consumption of alcohol. It’s used to commemorate achievements, to kick off the weekend, to accompany meals and events. It comes with all kinds of ceremonies, decorations, seasonal traditions, and rules. Drinking is often the cornerstone of all adult social interaction. 

I’m not saying that all these drinking rituals are all bad, but I encourage you to ask yourself how often you drink because you truly want to consume alcohol versus how often you drink because it’s the thing to do. 

The many routines and schedules associated with work are another example of behavior to which we can find ourselves overly attached without even knowing it. I’m a proponent of routines, but I try to remain flexible with them. If you’re not flexible with your routines, they can become a source of suffering when they become interrupted or stagnant. 

Unhealthy attachment to routines

Our relationship with work often causes us to develop unhealthy attachment to time itself. We cherish certain days of the week while we loath other days simply for how they’re named. Quite simply, a day is a rotation of the Earth on its axis. Quite extraordinarily, a day is another chance to experience impermanent life, no matter if it’s called Monday or Sunday. 

A simple way to combat the ‘Sunday scaries’ or ‘Monday blues’ is to practice gratitude first thing in the morning. As soon as you open your eyes, take a moment to recognize that you’re still alive. Treat this as no mundane matter, but instead an incredible fortune and precious opportunity. Acknowledge that you’re fortunate to have another twenty-four hours ahead of you in which you can attempt to live life in the present moment and in accordance with your values.

With routines, the best way to put them under the microscope is to intentionally break from them on occasion. Even seemingly healthy and productive routines can become stagnant. Our world is constantly changing, and if we don’t course correct with the actions we routinely take, we end up straying from the middle path.

Click here to read part two of this article.