The following is part two of a two-part piece on the four categories of attachment and how we can begin to foster non-attachment to alleviate suffering. Click here to read part one.
The third of the four categories of attachment: opinions and views
The world is in a constant state of change. The essence of survival is the ability to adapt to one’s environment. Holding fixed views about a changing world is a bit like using an outdated map. Not only is it unwise, it runs counter to how we’re wired to survive. The greatest product of human evolution is the brain. But the brain didn’t evolve for nothing. It evolved to help us navigate a complex, diverse, and evolving environment. To hold fixed views, especially if they become outdated or invalid, is to stray off the middle path and become lost.
It is easy to find ourselves attached to certain beliefs. We inherit some from our parents, some trickle down to us from our culture, while others take root gradually, often without us even knowing it, from our repeated behaviors.
It’s perfectly normal to have beliefs and opinions. We need to have some distinction between what we believe to be true and what we believe to be false to navigate the world. It’s only when a change occurs in the environment, rendering one of our held beliefs invalid or irrelevant and when we fail to correct for this that we suffer due to our attachment to that belief.
There are two things we can do to promote non-attachment to ideas and opinions. First, we should know our values. Values, such as peace, health, compassion, empathy, and honesty, erode less easily than ideas. Then, with our values as our anchor, we can borrow from the scientific method. We don’t need to be doubtful or distrusting, but we can extend a healthy skepticism and curiosity. Scientists are not ashamed of being wrong. In fact, working to prove themselves wrong is part of the job.
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Non-attachment & our beliefs
Here are three probing questions you can ask yourself to place your beliefs under the microscope.
- Is it important to me that others know I hold this belief? (We should not hold beliefs solely for the benefit or social acceptance of others.)
- Is it important to me that other people believe this as well? (The perceived need to popularize an idea may be an indication that you are overly attached to it.)
- Is it important that you’re right about the idea? (An idea is a construct that is separate and distinct from yourself. Needing to be right about it is a red flag indicating that you need to practice non-attachment and divorce your ego from the idea.)
Non-attachment to ideas, thoughts, and opinions frees us to move more fluidly along with the current of our changing environment. This allows us to learn and grow, but ultimately it lets us open our eyes to experience the true beauty of life in all its wonder and mystery.
The fourth of the four categories of attachment: permanent ego
Buddhist teachings are very clear about the harms of attachment to the idea that not only are you a separate and distinct entity, but that what makes you ‘you’ doesn’t change. This is a hard one for most people to grasp at first. We have a name and it’s true that no two people are alike. We have our quirks, idiosyncrasies, hobbies, and preferences, which are unlike those of everyone else. This Buddhist teaching (the Stoics, too, warned against over-attachment to ego) aims not to tear down all that you love about your uniqueness. It’s not meant to foster confusion or aimlessness or lack of identity.
Instead, the effort to understand our impermanent, interconnected nature drives us to discovery. It’s an expansion of boundaries. It allows us to mesh with our surroundings and connect with other people on a deeper level, because we are all fundamentally interconnected.
The science of self
This is not just woo woo, either. In his book No Self, No Problem, Chris Niebauer, Ph.D. draws upon his work in neuroscience to explain that much of what leads us to the sense of self is generated by the left-brain.
The left-brain is the language center. It’s responsible for the voice we hear when we think, and one of its primary functions is the identification of patterns. Pattern recognition is useful for our survival. Realizing that certain food grows in certain areas at certain times, for example, is a positive survival mechanism. The thing to note here is that the food growing in those places at those times has nothing to do with us. In fact, it’s not a pattern at all. Patterns only exist in our mind. They are constructs of the mind. Nature is random. Much of our sense of self, too, is based on patterns we notice about ourselves. Furthermore, the brain often misinterprets patterns.
This is not to say that we should discard our left-brain interpretation of ourselves or how it shapes the ego. This is an elegantly useful mechanism that has done very well for human survival. It is to say, however, that we should try to read between the lines of our experience and see the beautiful randomness of nature and of ourselves. We should cultivate mindfulness to experience life through the interpretation of the right-brain, which is involved in experiencing the world without attaching language and fabricated meaning to it.
Not only is the sense of self a construct of meaning that we project onto the world, it’s also constantly changing. Similarly to how fixed beliefs hold us back against the backdrop of an ever-changing, random world, a rigid failure to embrace changes in the ego is also suboptimal.
Case in point
Consider two very different work scenarios to illustrate the inutility of attachment to self.
Scenario 1: You have a creative task to perform that is an important deliverable for your job. You block out some time early in the morning when there will be no distractions. With a nice cup of coffee at your side and zero interruptions, you eventually find yourself in a flow state. The work just seems to pour out of you effortlessly. Time evaporates. Your vision tunnels in on the task with ultimate focus. Then, the task is complete. You’re pleased with the result.
Scenario 2: Later that afternoon, you meet with your boss to present your work. She likes the work and sees the right intention therein. But, she tells you that it fails to meet one of the core objectives of the task. She provides valid reasons for the critique, and asks you to rework the piece. You’re hurt. You feel a little inadequate, and you look for ways to disagree, even though you know deep down that your boss is right.
Let’s zoom out a bit to analyze these two scenarios a little more closely. For our analysis, let’s first establish that the person’s core motivation for doing the task in the first place was to satisfy the objective so that they can meet the expectations of their job. In the first situation, the person was able to enter into a state of flow because they weren’t distracted with doubt or any other construct of the ego. The right-brain was at work. They had an objective, they focused on it, and they even enjoyed the process.
Non-attachment equals freedom
In the second situation, where their boss reviewed their work, they were hindered from meeting their objective because they interjected all kinds of constructs about the ego. If meeting the objective was the primary motivation and if the boss’ feedback was supportive of meeting the objective, then the best thing to do would have been to openly embrace the feedback and proceed to rework the piece. The objective did not change from the first scenario to the second, nor did the task change. Only the person’s failure to notice their attachment to their sense of a distinct and permanent self changed.
I think we all know intellectually that attachment is harmful. Anyone who has or knows someone who has suffered from addiction knows this to be true. When our flights are delayed or when it rains on our picnic, we experience the harmful effects of attachment. We know it intellectually but perhaps not instinctively, because culture, family, and even biology are all factors that push us towards attachment. This is where the right effort of mindfulness comes into play. We can promote non-attachment, but not eliminate it entirely, through patient and persistent mindfulness practice.
Mindfulness to promote non-attachment
Mindfulness practice places a watchful eye on the relationship between sensory stimuli and our reactions to them. With awareness and reflection, we can see where our routines and traditions fail to serve us. We can practice non-attachment to our opinions and beliefs, not because it is a virtuous thing to do, but because it promotes learning and effectiveness. Finally, we can love ourselves and others more deeply if we can begin to remove the ‘I’ and the ‘me’ from our endeavors. The four categories of attachment promote non-attachment by giving us specific categories to focus on. It’s a bit like an athlete who has specific and categorical training protocols: cardio, strength, speed, precision, etc. It’s a framework that assists us in training and practice, but it’s up to us to put in the work.