Stoic Daily Reflection & How Stoics Define Success

Stoic Daily Reflection & How Stoics Define Success

The ancient Stoics emphasized the need to reflect at the end of the day and ask ourselves constructive questions about what went well and what did not. But how can we measure the success of a day? By which criteria are we defining good days and bad days? And since each day constitutes a slice of life itself, how can we extrapolate and scale this assessment to our measures of personal success for life in general? Before you can even begin to reflect on your day like a Stoic, you need to know your measures of success. We’ll discuss different measures of success and provide some practical tips on how to practice Stoic daily reflection. 

 

“Allow not sleep to close your wearied eyes,

Until you have reckoned up each daytime deed:

‘Where did I go wrong? What did I do? And what duty’s left undone?’

From first to last review your acts and then

Reprove yourself for wretched [or cowardly] acts, but rejoice in those done well.”

 

– Epictetus

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Chess pieces with mirror reflection to represent an article on Stoic daily reflection

Traditional measures of success

 

We’re all familiar with traditional measures of success. Job titles, monetary wealth, and happiness are common ones. Are they good measures of success? Perhaps. It depends on your values.

 

This article will focus on a Stoic definition of success, not because it is inherently more important, but because it is inherently less prevalent than traditional definitions of success. 

 

Measuring your personal success by job title or wealth, for example, is baked into modern society. It’s inescapable. If you have a job, then you by default have accountability. You have people and mechanisms in place to hold you accountable and ensure you’re performing to their standards. You have annual performance reviews. The entire capitalist system is designed to reward you based on the perceived value of what you bring to the market. We already spend so much of our lives at work, so let’s not fill our personal time assessing and tracking work-related performance.

 

Who’s there to measure your personal success? Who’s there to keep you accountable for your actions—the steps you take, forward or backward, to uphold what you believe is truly important? The answer is no one but yourself. 

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How do Stoics define success?

 

Stoic definitions of success are unconventional. Stoicism is all about knowing who you are, so that you can act in accordance with your values and ultimately make the world a better place. The 4 Stoic virtues—Justice, Wisdom, Temperance, and Courage—are immensely useful for guiding your actions and informing your values. They have endured as guiding principles for good reason, and you can draw upon them to clarify your decisions  in nearly any situation. But you are unique. You have dreams and aspirations and obligations to juggle. This is why it’s useful to define your own values and learn how to measure them during your Stoic daily reflection. 

 

Measures of success need to be just that: measurable. If you can’t quantify and track it, it’s fairly hard to improve it.

 

Here are some ways to measure your success when you sit down to practice Stoic daily reflection:

  • Hours of quality time spent with family
  • Hours of quality sleep
  • Minutes spent meditating 
  • Number of mindful responses to difficult or frustrating situations
  • Minutes spent exercising 
  • Time spent truly listening to others
  • Number of hugs or other signs of intimacy
  • Number of healthy meals 
  • Instances where you felt fear and acted despite it
  • Number of acts of compassion 
  • Number of pages read (here are some of our favorites books on Stoicism)
Chess piece with reflection on black background

Stoic reflection questions

 

It may not always be feasible or practical to literally track metrics like these. They are useful for creating some accountability for recurring values or behaviors you’d like to display more consistently. But we don’t want to turn our Stoic daily reflection into a mechanical chore of pouring over numbers. The ancient Stoics were writers. Marcus Aurelius’ Meditations was literally his personal journal. It was never meant to be published. 

 

Writing your thoughts down at the end of the day in honest reflection is a powerful tool. Writing has an almost magical ability to turn thoughts into reality. It clarifies your thinking and allows you to review, edit, and plan in a way that thinking without a pen and paper simply does not. 

 

Here are some questions to serve as prompts to help your daily Stoic reflection: 

 

  • Did I act in contradiction to my values? If yes, why? How will I prevent this in the future?
  • Was I honest to others and to myself?  
  • Did I do anything to make the world a better place in any way? 
  • Did I handle obstacles with calm and grace? 
  • What are my plans for tomorrow? What are the potential obstacles that could stand in the way? How can I avoid or prevent those obstacles? Premeditatio malorum
  • Was I able to resist desires and temptations? 
  • Did I have an opportunity to face a fear? How did I respond to this?
  • Did my words promote peace and reconciliation? Were they in harmony with my values?
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How do Stoics define success?

 

Any Stoic practice of reflection should end with a gratitude practice. The Stoics had their now-famous phrase Memento mori (Latin for ‘remember you will die’). This is not meant to send you into a downward spiral of morbid despair. Instead, it’s meant to renew your excitement for life today. Remind yourself that this present moment is precious. Make a mental or written list of things you were grateful for today. 

 

Your intention in the morning should be to neglect none of your values. If you can perform at least one positive action in relation to each value, then perhaps that day can be considered a good one. The Stoic practice of daily reflection requires a mid-day check in. Often our days contain distractions and conflicting priorities. It’s important to pause during the day and ask yourself how well you’re upholding your values. This gives you the opportunity to course-correct if things aren’t going well. 

 

Acting in accordance with our true values and Stoic virtues should be integral to our own measure of personal success. Make this easy to remember by boiling down your values into keywords. Use these keywords as memory cues to aid your daily assessment and reflection.

 

Finally, don’t be too hard on yourself. The ultimate goal of Stoicism and Stoic daily reflection is to strengthen yourself so that you can help others. It’s a bit of a cliche, but one worth repeating here: You can’t truly love others unless you love yourself first. You will have unbalanced days. But never give up, for it is the act of striving for greatness and falling short that adds meaning and distinction to life.

 

“It is not by muscle, speed, or physical dexterity that great things are achieved, but by reflection, force of character, and judgment.”

 – Marcus Tullius Cicero

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How To Practice The 4 Stoic Virtues

How To Practice The 4 Stoic Virtues

One of the defining features of Stoicism is its practicality. The ancient Stoics would even devise clever phrases and mnemonic devices to help their students carry with them reminders of how to act in accordance with the fundamental ideas and virtues of their philosophy. ‘Act according to nature’ was one such reminder leveraged by the earliest Stoics to help them choose the right action when faced with any dilemma or situation. For the Stoics, to live according to nature did not mean retreating into the wilderness; instead, it meant that humans are naturally capable of reason, and this profound gift distinguishes us from other animals and allows us to make virtuous decisions. The focus of this article is the ‘act’ part of this phrase. We will describe and explore the 4 Stoic virtues and identify several practical ways we can implement them.

 

The 4 Stoic Virtues – Wisdom 

 

For the Stoics, the virtue of wisdom was achieved along two converging paths. The first is the study of philosophy. In a practical and modern sense, this is simply reading philosophy and non-fiction. It was as simple in ancient times as it is today: read, study, and challenge your own beliefs regularly. The second and most crucial path to wisdom is the implementation of this philosophy. We can read powerful and transformational ideas until we’re blue in the face but they mean nothing until we venture out and put them into practice. Here are our practical tips for harnessing the Stoic virtue of wisdom in your own life. 

 

  • Read voraciously, but read outside your comfort zone. Read genres you don’t normally read; read fiction, history, science and biographies. Here’s an interesting reading experiment to broaden your horizons: try reading a book that’s predominantly marketed to the opposite sex. Said differently, if you’re a man, read a book that’s generally targeted to a female audience. If you’re a woman, read a book that’s generally targeted to a male audience. Here are two suggestions, 12 Rules For Life by Jordan Peterson and The Moment Of Lift by Melinda Gates. 
  • Take notes while you read, but not only of the ideas that interest you but also write down action items with a date by which you will do them.

Reading best practices

  • Read less. This may seem counter to our message, but sometimes, when you read a truly transformational set of ideas, it’s best to walk around for a few weeks carrying these ideas without introducing new ones to confound and distract from your ability to turn the ideas into behaviors. 
  • Read to your weaknesses. I used to have a serious problem with public speaking. Now, I sometimes speak in front of thousands. Do I still struggle? Of course. But instead of curling up and quitting, I made it my mission to get better. One of the actions I took was to read several books on public speaking. I used what was useful and discarded the rest along my path to improvement. 
The 4 Stoic Virtues - Courage

The 4 Stoic Virtues – Courage 

 

We often think of courage as a single act embedded in a particular moment in time. The imagery of courage that comes to mind is that of a firefighter entering a burning building to save others or a soldier running headlong into battle. Indeed, this is courage, but the Stoics would often speak of a more ordinary and sustained type of courage.

 

“Two words should be committed to memory and obeyed: persist and resist.” — Epictetus 

 

Persistence is the idea I want to remain on for a moment. It takes courage to work a draining, unfulfilling job for 30 years to support one’s family. It takes courage to raise children with love and devotion. Furthermore, it takes courage to strive constantly to improve oneself and avoid slipping into the lazy mediocrity that is mass-marketed to us on a daily basis. This persistence and resistance, over a long and uninterrupted path, is the embodiment of courage that the Stoics emphasized. 

 

It’s relevant because it’s pervasive 

 

This kind of courage is more relevant for us to ponder and exercise than the kind required to enter a burning building to save another person because the former is required each and every day. The Stoic virtue of courage, in the modern sense, is showing up every day to do your best whether you feel like it or not. Courage is resisting the idea of comfort and happiness that is constantly marketed to us through ‘convenient’ technological innovations. It is also the ability to stand apart from the masses, even if it causes you to be misunderstood socially, in the pursuit of your values and virtues.

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Here are some practical exercises in the Stoic virtue of courage: 

  • Resist the urge to rest when it first appears. It is true that we need days off and leisure time to simply be. However, the urge to take a rest day sometimes arises before it is truly necessary. Delay the gratification of taking a day off by just one day. Often, you’ll find that the following day you will feel better despite having done the work. If, however, you still feel exhausted despite having delayed gratification by one day, then by all means take some time for yourself to rest and recover. 

Take risks 

  • Let your dissenting voice be heard. If you find yourself in a situation that feels wrong to you, be the first person to say something about it. Do this with care and compassion for the others involved in the situation, but don’t allow harmful situations to endure around you without providing constructive criticism first, even if it means taking a social risk. 
  • Voluntarily expose yourself to your fears. In clinical psychology, there is overwhelming evidence demonstrating that exposure and therefore habituation to fear is the primary means to overcoming it: 

 

The experience of anxiety involves nervous system arousal. If your nervous system is not aroused, you cannot experience anxiety. Understandably, but unfortunately, most people attempt to cope with feelings of anxiety by avoiding situations or objects that elicit the feelings. Avoidance, however, prevents your nervous system from habituating. Therefore, avoidance guarantees that the feared object or situation will remain novel, and hence arousing, and hence anxiety provoking. Moreover, avoidance tends to generalize over time. If you avoid the elevator at work, you will soon begin to avoid all elevators, and then all buildings that house elevators, etcetera. Soon enough, you’ll be living in a prison of avoidance.

Noam Shpancer Ph.D., Overcoming Fear: The Only Way Out is Through, Psychology Today

 

The 4 Stoic Virtues – Temperance 

 

In simple terms, the Stoic virtue of temperance is the resistance against desire. However, it is a nuanced concept that requires some further exploration. Ryan Holiday succinctly and eloquently summarizes the virtue of temperance: “Temperance is guarded against extremes, not relying on the fleetingness of pleasure for happiness nor allowing the fleetingness of pain to destroy it”. Viewed from this lens, we see that temperance resides within the moderate center between pleasure and pain. Temperance is balance.

 

Pursuing temperance, by nature, is precarious and difficult to master. Achieving balance between doing and being is perhaps the core pursuit of this blog. This challenging balance requires us to be relentless in evaluation and corrective action of what is excessive in our lives. Here are some quick practical tips to consider in the pursuit of balance: 

 

  • Practice some degree of minimalism, or at least some resistance against marketing. 
  • If you sit all day for work, stand at night. I mean this as a practical tip—if you’re forced to sit in a chair all day for work, make sure you stand at night when you’re reading or watching television. This is also an analogy for balance in general. Find something that is excessive in your life, and work to counterbalance it. 
  • Wait ten minutes on your desires. When the desire arises to say, eat junk food, smoke, or drink, simply wait for ten minutes and usually the desire will subside.
The 4 Stoic Virtues - Justice

The 4 Stoic Virtues – Justice 

 

The Stoic virtue of justice is often misunderstood. At first glance, people tend to interpret it along the lines of the criminal justice system of today. Criminal acts would certainly fall outside the scope of justice in the Stoic sense, but it extends much deeper than this. In Stoicism, justice means acting for the greater good of the community, even to the extent where self-sacrifice is required. 

 

This idea of justice would have certainly trickled down to the Stoics from their Greek predecessors, where we see stories of ultimate self-sacrifice in the name of civic duty. The story of Socrates’ demise is a compelling example of this. Socrates was accused of impiety (worshipping gods not recognized by the state in Athens at the time) by political rivals who were motivated to put forth this likely unfounded charge. Socrates argued his case in public but was ultimately sentenced to death. Friends of Socrates arranged for his escape by bribing the prison guards. Socrates refused to flee in exile, opting instead to respect the law even though he knew his sentence was unjust, and accept his sentence to death. 

Find the opportunities to practice

 

This is an extreme example and a moral dilemma that none of us is likely to face. However, we are presented with countless opportunities to practice the Stoic virtue of justice in daily life. We can be compassionate, present, and make moral decisions that should ripple outward from ourselves first, then to our family, community, and further still (but always in that order).

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Here are a few practical ways to expand your capacity for the Stoic virtue of justice: 

 

  • Focus your influence locally. Don’t be the person who’s obsessed with and engaged in online activism about things happening far away. First, be the person who supports and strengthens their community. 
  • Holding a door for someone is a low bar for compassion. Don’t confuse common courtesy with compassion. Your time and energy spent to help (or at the very least listen to) others is a good measure of your capacity for compassion. 
  • An interruption is a golden opportunity for compassion. If someone interrupts you, it is almost always because they are in need. An interruption also implies that you will have to subvert your own needs or desires for a moment, and is therefore a great chance to practice virtue. 
  • Pick up litter when you see it. This is only partly an analogy for exerting some effort for the betterment of the community. 

 

Make life interesting

 

Stoicism has endured over millennia as a philosophy for life because of its emphasis on practicality. There is nothing more satisfying than reading powerful thoughts that resonate with you (like the 4 Stoic Virtues outlined in this article) and then seeing yourself acting in accordance with them. Finding ways to act in accordance with your own highest values leads to a better present and future. This should be viewed as a process and even as a fun and experimental journey. Let’s not view the pursuit of virtue as a teeth-grinding heavy lift, but more as a journey flowing with the requisite vicissitudes that make life interesting. The moment you settle for mediocrity is the moment life becomes boring. Enjoy the process, be honest with your progress, success and failure, but also have a light heart and compassionate eye for yourself.

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9 Stoic Practices For Resilience

9 Stoic Practices For Resilience

Nobody has unfaltering focus. Nobody’s courage runs in an uninterrupted continuum. Discipline is a limited resource. These statements may seem discouraging, but they are only discouraging if we don’t know how to be resilient. 

 

The definition of resilience implies setback or difficulty. If we were to invoke imagery to visualize resilience, one might picture a surfer carving effortlessly atop an enormous wave. 

 

But this would be an incorrect image of resilience. A more accurate depiction of resilience would be of the surfer dragging themselves back onto their surfboard after having been hammered down by a huge wave. Resilience resides in a very narrow space. That space is found between a setback and a corrective action. 

 

In this article, we’ll explore 9 Stoic practices for resilience.

Surfer under water to represent an article on how to be more resilient

Stoic Resilience is resetting quickly

 

If we were to measure resilience, we might look at the time required to get back onto the surfboard. Resilience is pretty hard to practice if we don’t understand where it occurs. Bringing awareness to the space where resilience can happen is the fundamental step towards building resilience as a feature of character. 

 

The space for resilience opens up immediately after a setback, loss, or failure. Reducing the time required to accept and move forward is what it takes to be more resilient.

 

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

– Viktor Frankl

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Here are 9 Stoic practices to help you be more resilient

 

1. Accept the setback: Often, we get stuck on the problem because we can’t accept it. This can occur in the form of blame or feeling sorry for ourselves. The Stoics taught that blame and pity are not only wastes of time, but they are also states of mind that prevent progress. We can’t even begin to see the way forward until we’ve accepted that we’ve been obstructed. In Stoicism, this practice has a name: The Art of Acquiescence. For more on this, check out our article Master The Art Of Acquiescence For Resilience & Perspective.

2. Fill the time following a setback with activity: Pull up a chair and invite your fear to sit there next to you as your temporary guest and carry on working. The space where resilience occurs is narrow, and it doesn’t happen if self-pity, doubt, or anxiety lead to inaction. Accept the hardship with compassion and understanding and move forward promptly. Even if the activity does not directly address the problem, as long as it is healthy and keeps you moving, it helps create favorable conditions for a solution.

Monitor your focus to be more resilient

 

3. Always know your top priority: Having a clear set of priorities laid out next to you on paper is a good way to regain focus promptly after a distraction. When a distraction pops up, ask yourself if it fits within or atop your priority list. If it doesn’t fit there, then you can delegate or delete it. Stoic resilience is the ability to either handle or delete a distraction and then return quickly to the priority, as if the distraction had never occurred.

 

4. If you’re really stuck, help others: If your obstacle or setback truly has you stuck, and you can’t seem to find the way forward. Don’t give up. Patience and time can be crucial ingredients for resilience. In the meantime, helping others is a strong way to remain active and positive. Plus, diverting your attention away from your problem and aiming towards the benefit of others may help you see your problem in a new light. 

 

5. Look for the good in the bad: There are always lessons in setbacks and failures. But there can also be advantages. In his book The Obstacle Is The Way, Ryan Holiday describes a setback-turned-advantage using a story about Phil Jackson, the hall-of-fame NBA coach. While recovering from a surgery, Jackson was stuck in a high, director’s-style chair on the sidelines while coaching. At first, he thought this would hinder his coaching—unable to move up and down the bench and interact with players at will. Instead, he found that the elevated seat grounded him. It gave him a new vantage point that led to a calmer, more centered style of coaching. 

 

6. Always know your ‘why’: We can be more resilient when we have a purpose greater than ourselves. Finding your purpose is essential for Stoic resilience. In my own life, I call this my North Star. It is the overarching, top priority in my life. Mine is not that original; it’s my family’s well-being. When my North Star shines light on a difficulty, I remember why I’m doing the little things, and my motivation is renewed in the face of adversity. The Stoics had a phrase that pairs well with this concept: Summum bonum (Latin for ‘the highest good’). Early Stoics like Cicero used the phrase to materialize their core message: to live virtuously is the highest good. Find your purpose, and live virtuously on your path towards it. 

 

7. Don’t be caught off guard: The Stoic epithet Premeditatio malorum (Latin for ‘the premeditation of evils’) teaches us to be acutely aware that things can and will go wrong. This is not about diving into despair. It’s about readiness. In business, they would call it risk assessment and risk mitigation. I love this passage from Epictetus’ The Manual: A Philosopher’s Guide To Life, where he urges us to remain alert and ready:  

“During a voyage, when the ship is anchored and you go ashore for supplies, you may amuse yourself with picking up seashells and pretty stones along the way, but keep your thoughts attuned on the ship, keeping alert to the captain’s call. You may need to drop your treasures and run back to the boat at any time. Likewise in life, remain steadfast in pursuing your mission, always willing to shed distractions.” 

Being ready for setbacks before they occur creates favorable conditions for resilience.

Surfer under a crashed wave to represent an article on how to be more resilient

Stoic resilience and discipline 

 

We all have lapses of discipline to some degree and frequency. Even David Goggins, someone who exemplifies astounding discipline, had to navigate transitions from laziness to diligence. If you don’t know his story, it’s worth reading about. You could also check out his bestselling book Can’t Hurt Me or his more recent book Never Finished

 

We could argue whether or not Goggins experiences lapses of discipline today (although I would imagine that by his standards he does). He certainly lacked discipline in his past. His story is compelling because he used to be lazy and undisciplined. 

 

He was able to transform himself from a guy who picked up a box of donuts every day on his way home from spraying for cockroaches into a Navy SEAL, ultra-marathon runner, and bestselling author, because he kept the time short between lapses in discipline and corrective action. He didn’t make this transformation overnight and he certainly didn’t do it without breaches in discipline.

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8. Keep the time short between lapses in discipline: It takes courage to take a day off. We need lazy days. We need space to simply be and simply rest. Take time to recharge, but keep the intervals short between strong routines and breaks from them.

 

9. Remember your previous comebacks, and be proud of yourself: First, always take pride in the fact that you’re trying at all. Setbacks, failures, and losses are hard enough to cope with. We can at least lighten the burden a little by being proud of ourselves. Also, look back to times where you overcame similar challenges. This will remind you that you’ll get through this one, and may even help you recall tactics that were successful before. 

 

Final thoughts

 

Although discipline may be a limited resource, our beliefs about it can have a mitigating effect on its depletion. If we believe in our ability to recover, and if we’re proud of our own commitment to strive for better, we’re likely to be more resilient. The key here is to cherish and love the part of you that’s trying to be better, not reprimanding the part of you that was weak. Embrace your imperfections with loving-kindness, but never stop striving. 

 

“Where the head goes, the body follows. Perception precedes action. Right action follows the right perspective.”

– Ryan Holiday, The Obstacle Is The Way

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Marcus Aurelius died in a cold, dark place, but his last words shined bright with a message of hope: “Go to the rising sun, for I am already setting.” He delivered these words not to a beloved, but to a guard of the night’s watch in his military camp near the...

Zen Meditation: How To Stop And Reflect For Wisdom 

  What if there was a way you could train your wisdom and insight? No tools or equipment required. No books to read. No classes to attend. All you’d need is a few minutes each day. Such a means of building a wider perspective and developing clear insight exists....

Right Mindfulness & Right Concentration Of The Eightfold Path

If I were to define Zen Buddhism, I would do so in two four-word sentences:   Absolute attention is prayer. Compassion for all beings.   “Zen teaches nothing. It merely enables us to wake up and become aware. It does not teach; it points. The truth of Zen is...

The Three Jewels Of The Tao: Embracing The Way Of Water

Well, the first challenge in understanding the Tao is its definition. Translated literally, 'The Tao' means 'The Way'. The very first verse of this ancient teaching warns that it’s useless to try to define or name The Tao: The Tao that can be toldIs not the eternal...

Thich Nhat Hanh & The Zen Practice Of Stopping

Thich Nhat Hanh was a Vietnamese Zen Buddhist monk, peace activist, prolific author, poet and teacher, historically known as the ‘father of mindfulness’. Nhat Hanh was a major influence on Western practices of Buddhism.   He was exiled from South Vietnam in 1966 after...

How To Stay In The Present Moment

I’ve never met anyone who was trained in mindfulness at an early age. Have you? I wonder if they have to try as hard as those of us who were introduced to mindfulness in adulthood. I wonder if they struggle with distractions or if they have emotional outbursts. For...

How To Stop Being Too Nice

How do we reconcile wanting to be compassionate and being too nice? By too nice, I mean placing the needs of others above your own to the point that your own are not met. Too nice also means getting taken advantage of. Being too nice opens the door to repeated insult,...