Ataraxia: How Stoics Achieve Equanimity

Ataraxia: How Stoics Achieve Equanimity

Let’s paint a picture. Imagine drops of water landing on a lotus leaf and sliding down and off. The drop doesn’t linger. It makes its impact and then flows with gravity until it is gone. The lotus leaf is aware of the drop—it feels it—but it does not reject, retain, or struggle. It is undisturbed. This is a picture of the Stoic concept of ataraxia.

 

Just like the lotus leaf, we all have the capacity to let negative reactions and excessive desire roll off our backs. 

 

In this article, we’ll provide a definition of ataraxia as it relates to Stoicism and share practices for achieving ataraxia by breaking it down to its core components: composure, steadiness, ego, and quietude. 

This post contains affiliate links, which help us keep the blog afloat. Click here for more information.

Drop of water on a lotus leaf to represent ataraxia

What is ataraxia?

 

Ataraxia in Stoicism and other Hellenistic philosophies such as Epicureanism is a state of composure characterized by lack of distress and outward displays of strong emotion, especially in difficult situations. Essentially, ataraxia is equanimity.

 

Achieving ataraxia was never the primary objective of Stoicism. That coveted pinnacle is to live in accordance with nature through developing strong moral character. Ataraxia was seen as a by-product of one’s pursuit of moral character. 

 

Imperturbability is another word that’s closely related to ataraxia. More simply, ataraxia is a state of non-reaction. It is not a denial of feelings. We feel what the world throws at us, both the good and the bad, but we don’t react or at least don’t overreact. Ataraxia is commonly associated with calm, but calm is just how ataraxia appears to the observer. With ataraxia, we let go of troubles, sadness, or anger quickly and calmly. So ataraxia means that we feel the ups and downs of life, we can get upset, we can have plans and preferences, but we let go of charged emotions or intense cravings in a timely manner.

 

How Stoics achieve ataraxia 

 

In his book, Stillness Is The Key, Ryan Holiday speaks of what it means to achieve ataraxia: 

 

“To be steady while the world spins around you. To act without frenzy. To hear only what needs to be heard. To possess quietude—exterior and interior—on command.” 

 

If we were to break this definition of ataraxia down to its most fundamental components, we’d be left with a useful framework for achieving ataraxia in our own lives. These components are composure, steadiness, ego, and quietude.

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Composure as a component of ataraxia

 

To be composed amid chaos is to be grounded. Think of a pebble tossed into a raging river. Engulfed in the force of rushing water, it sinks effortlessly to its destination where it will remain still as the water flows overhead. 

 

To build the habit of composed behavior in stressful situations, the first practical step is to stop. The next time you find yourself being swept along by emotions or events, simply pause. All it takes to drastically change your response is five seconds during which you do nothing but breathe.

 

Then, after you’ve mastered the ability to pause, which ultimately reminds you of your intention to handle the situation with composure and provides a more relaxed physiological response, you can begin to leverage other practices of Stoicism to help you navigate the complexity. You can practice negative visualization to anticipate and mitigate risk. You can use The Dichotomy of Control to identify what is within and what is outside of your control. Find guidance by recalling the Four Stoic Virtues

 

The first step to practice is the pause. 

 

Steadiness as a component of ataraxia

 

It’s not sexy advice, but to practice steadiness and to ultimately cultivate ataraxia is to slow down. Doing anything even just five percent slower makes your actions more deliberate and precise. Start practicing this with simple things like preparing a meal. Once your default state is a little bit slower, you’ll speak with more purpose in meetings, your writing will be clearer, and you’ll be more caring with those you love. 

 

Another aspect of steadiness is consistency. Whether it’s your desire to achieve ataraxia or your Stoicism practice in general, you will falter at times. You will have lazy and undisciplined moments. You will make mistakes. The key is to reset yourself on the path as quickly as possible. Keep the intervals between lapses in discipline as short as possible, and show up for yourself every day.

Drop of water on a lotus leaf as a visual representation of ataraxia

Ego as a component of ataraxia

 

I read a lot about Buddhism, and in no small part because I’m motivated to learn more about the concept of non-self. There are even science-based arguments that suggest that our concept of self is often unreliable, false, and largely repetitive. 

 

Non-self is very difficult to grasp and it takes a lot of practice. But, we can take some steps towards healthier levels of attachment to the concept of ‘me’. 

 

First, we need to acknowledge that our sense of self is composed of beliefs. These beliefs are fluid and constantly changing. So, when someone insults or criticizes me, I shouldn’t feel that it’s an attack on the entirety of my being. At most, it’s just someone’s belief that opposes a belief I hold about myself. When someone calls you lazy, don’t feel injured at the level of your whole self. It’s nothing more than a challenge to your belief about your work-ethic. 

 

Another aspect of imperturbability of the ego is believing that you are whole. There is nothing anyone could add to your existence that would make it better or worse. There is nothing anyone could subtract from your existence that would make it better or worse. Be at peace with yourself. Love yourself. Don’t rely on external conditions to be happy.

 

Quietude as a component of ataraxia

 

The most practical way to develop ataraxia is to focus on your thoughts and your speech. 

 

There’s a lot of debate on the validity of certain claims about how neuro linguistic programming can positively affect mood and behavior. Basically, some say that the more positive your self-talk is, the better you’ll feel and behave. 

 

Intuitively, I can see how this could be true. Also, I can’t see a downside to attempting to foster positive thoughts in place of negative ones. Be confident in your self-talk. Don’t beat yourself up over mistakes. Try to observe how repetitive your negative self-talk is. The mind likes to play the hits. In a way, this means that negative self-talk—all that doubting, self-limiting, and worrying internal banter—is quite boring and meaningless. Try to plant the seeds of positivity with your thoughts. 

 

With our speech, we can embrace frugality and purpose. It’s OK to be the quietest person in the room. Saying less leaves more room for listening. You can learn so much more from listening than by speaking. In heated interpersonal matters, practice the pause we spoke about earlier. Take a moment to recall your intention. Is your ultimate goal in this situation to make a point? Or is your goal to maintain a healthy relationship? If it’s someone you care about, I suspect it’s the latter, so maybe don’t make that point—don’t be right. Instead, let your speech reflect empathy and promote reconciliation. 

watch the pursuit of balance podcast now

Final thoughts 

 

When we hear a concept with a Greek name like ataraxia, it can seem a bit foreign and irrelevant. But, when we define the concept and break it down into smaller, actionable components, it becomes easier to grasp. Ataraxia is equanimity, imperturbability, and being unshakable. Resilience is part of it, too, because Stoics are not robots. We have emotions, desires, and preferences, but we strive to harmonize our speech and actions with our values. This means pausing to think. Then, when we do act or speak, we use forethought and deliberation. Finally, we are not so easily hurt by the words of others because we are not inflexibly attached to the notion of self. 

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Master The Art Of Acquiescence For Resilience & Perspective

Master The Art Of Acquiescence For Resilience & Perspective

A murder at 5AM in Brooklyn ended one man’s life and changed another’s forever. The man whose life was changed was Derrick Hamilton. Just 17 years old, he was arrested for the murder. This was terrifying for Derrick, because he did not commit the murder. He thought that the truth would come out in the trial. It did not. 

 

The judge refused witness testimony of the one person who could prove his innocence. He was convicted and sentenced to 25 years in prison. Derrick appealed the case and did so successfully, but just eight months later there was a terrible Deja vu. Again, he was arrested for murder. And again, he was wrongly convicted for life. 

 

This time, he began to study law in prison, and he did so with determination. He read law books cover to cover. He studied his own case, but also the cases of dozens of other wrongly convicted inmates. Although three decades of his life were taken from him, he was able to help countless others with his hard-earned legal expertise. His sentence was eventually overturned. Today, he is free. 

 

Most people would have taken their settlement and rode off into the sunset. But not Derrick. He’s known not only as the most prolific jailhouse lawyer, but he’s now regarded as one of the most effective criminal justice reformers in America. Through his efforts, he is responsible for the release of approximately one hundred wrongly convicted people. He gave them their lives back. He continues this fight today. 

 

When asked in an interview how he got over the anger, Derrick responded, “I never said I got over the anger. What I did was channel the anger into something else.”

 

In this article

 

Derrick’s story embodies a fundamental concept of Stoicism called The Art of Acquiescence. In this article, we’ll define The Art of Acquiescence. We’ll also explore why and how to use The Art of Acquiescence along the lines of resilience, efficiency, and perspective. 

This post contains affiliate links, which help us keep the blog afloat. Click here for more information.

Female athlete clearing a hurdle to represent an article about The Art of Acquiescence

What is The Art of Acquiescence? 

 

The Art of Acquiescence is a concept from Stoicism that teaches us to accept things that are beyond our control rather than fighting them. It is not, however, passive acceptance. It is not giving up. The Art of Acquiescence is accepting the obstacle so that we can find another way around

 

Resilience and The Art of Acquiescence

 

Derrick Hamilton’s story is compelling and relevant to The Art of Acquiescence for several reasons, but one in particular stands out. He obviously had to accept that his freedom—his life—had been taken away. This was out of his control. But he did not accept it passively. He wasted no time sinking into dark depression. He did not retaliate with aggression or hatred. Instead, he channeled his energy into something he believed: proving his innocence. He found another way around. 

 

Resilience is about rebounding quickly from setbacks. This is closely related to The Art of Acquiescence, because we cannot begin to move forward if we are stuck resisting something bad that has already happened. Usually, we can’t even see the way forward until we have accepted that we have been blocked. So, The Art of Acquiescence is about accepting when things go wrong so we can move on and move on with clearer vision. 

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Efficiency and The Art of Acquiescence

 

There’s a concept in economics and investing called Sunk Cost Fallacy. This is when an investor continues to hold onto, or even throw more money into, a failing investment. The sunk cost fallacy leads the investor down an illogical path: I’ve already spent so much, so this has to work. I’ll keep at it

 

Smart investors don’t fall for sunk cost bias. They know exactly when to exit a failing investment, and they adhere to their own rules strictly, regardless of how bad it feels to take a loss. Again, this is The Art of Acquiescence.

 

We need to avoid sunk cost bias by accepting losses in our own lives and moving on from them. This applies to all kinds of things: relationships, diets, jobs, general uncertainty, but also myriads of mundane losses and setbacks. Accepting a bad break, no matter how bad it is, prevents us from wasting more precious time and energy dwelling on it or resisting it. 

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Accept that you cannot be amazing at everything

 

Another way to apply The Art of Acquiescence is by deciding to limit what you’ll be great at. This has been a fairly recent realization in my own life. There are many hats that I wear. Obviously, I write this blog, so writing and my philosophical practices associated with it are things I want to be great at. In addition, I have a full-time career, so this blog is really a side project for the moment. I’m serious about exercise. I’m serious about meditation. My family is the most important thing—in fact, at the time of writing, I’m about two weeks away from becoming a father. 

 

I realized that I’m not going to be great at all of these things. At best, I can be great at two of them. That’s it. I think we’re led to believe that we can and should be amazing at dozens of things. But there’s that old saying: Jack of all trades, master of none

 

Social media probably doesn’t help. Its feeds are optimized to show us what we’re interested in. My feeds show me exercise, meditation, Stoicism, writing, and more. It shows me people being amazing at these things. The result is I internalize that I should also be amazing at all of these things, because I care about all of them. My interpretation of The Art of Acquiescence tells me that I should choose one or two things at most to really focus on. For everything else, I can accept that I will be merely good or OK. 

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Perspective and The Art of Acquiescence

 

Practicing The Art of Acquiescence requires (and builds) a wider perspective. Accepting the roll of the dice leaves no room for blame or aversion to accountability. Blame is not compatible with The Art of Acquiescence, because it keeps us stuck on the problem. We need the right perspective (or Right View as it’s commonly referred to in the context of the Noble Eightfold Path) to see beyond the problem. What lies beyond the problem is the solution. 

 

“Where the head goes, the body follows. Perception precedes action. Right action follows the right perspective.”

– Ryan Holiday, The Obstacle Is The Way

 

There are even rare cases where we can use the problem to our advantage. When Derrick Hamilton was arrested under his first wrongful murder charge, he was 17. He says that he was a teenage product of his environment—certainly not committing murder, but involved in minor illegal activities. Fast forward through his three-decade-long struggle in prison and with the justice system, and now he teaches law at Cardozo School of Law in New York. 

 

Final thoughts

 

The Art of Acquiescence is simple: accept the bad so that you can move past it. The faster we do this, the better. Loss, failure, and mistakes can be brutal, so practice The Art of Acquiescence with compassion for yourself. You shouldn’t numb yourself or become a machine. Feeling the pain is part of the process. If you don’t feel the sting, then you’re not awake. You must be awake and aware to learn from the loss—to grow from it and see new perspectives. 

 

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How To Practice Stoicism: An Introduction & 12 Stoic Practices

How To Practice Stoicism: An Introduction & 12 Stoic Practices

Stoicism is misunderstood. Unlike a common usage of the word ‘stoic’, Stoicism is not an emotionless, white-knuckled bearing of hardships. So, what is Stoicism? How can you practice Stoicism in daily life? Stoicism is not just a philosophy. It’s an experiential practice. It’s a path to a meaningful and happy life, guided by values and virtues, and aimed at making the world a better place. In this article, we’ll define Stoicism for those new to the philosophy and attempt to provide insights on how to start practicing Stoicism for anyone looking to build on their Stoic practices. 

I believe that author Nassim Nicholas Taleb defines Stoicism well in this quote:

“A Stoic is someone who transforms fear into prudence, pain into transformation, mistakes into initiation, and desire into undertaking.” 

N.N.Taleb

Click the links below to navigate to specific sections or keep scrolling to read the full article:

 

        1. What is Stoicism?
        2. How to practice Stoicism using the Four Stoic Virtues
        3. Stoicism in modern times
        4. The Dichotomy of Control
        5. Stoicism is knowing yourself
        6. Focus on the essential
        7. The love of fate (amor fati)
        8. How to practice Stoicism: 12 Stoic practices

 

 

What is Stoicism?

Stoicism is an ancient philosophy that flourished in the Greek and Roman worlds until around the 3rd century AD. It placed virtue as the highest good, taught the need to temper desire for pleasure, wealth, and status, and was widely accessible. It has stood the test of time, thanks in large part to the written works of famous Stoics like Marcus Aurelius, the Roman Emperor and philosopher who had Stoicism at his side while he led the Roman empire through war and plague. He is known as the last of the Five Good Emperors, presiding over the last years of the Pax Romana era of Roman history, remembered for its relative peace and stability.

Epictetus—born a slave and crippled in early age—would use his exploration of philosophy to eventually emancipate himself and found his own school of Stoicism in Rome, which would influence the thoughts and actions of the most powerful men in the world, including Marcus Aurelius. Epictetus’ Discourses and Marcus Aurelius’ Meditations remain bedrock literature in Stoicism and their utility and wisdom have not been lost on readers of today.

Stoicism is not just a set of beliefs or ethical claims. It’s a way of living, involving consistent training and practice, and incorporating the practice of logic, contemplation on the finite nature of life, and the use of core values to guide one’s actions.

Stoicism directly acknowledges the chaotic nature of the world, namely interpersonal struggle. It has much to teach us about being socially courageous and how to deal with difficult people. It teaches us to embrace and prepare for the unexpected, but it’s not all about making moves and getting things done, as it has profound offerings on compassion, greater good, and inner stillness.

This post contains affiliate links, which help us keep the blog afloat. Click here for more information.

Man with determined expression to represent a blog post on how to practice Stoicism

How to practice Stoicism using the Four Stoic Virtues

One simple yet effective way to begin practicing Stoicism is to familiarize yourself with the Four Stoic Virtues and start using them to frame your decisions and actions. Here’s a succinct overview of my practical interpretation of the Four Stoic Cardinal Virtues:

  1. Courage: The mitigation and, ultimately, the acceptance of risk, and doing the right thing even if it means being misunderstood.
  2. Wisdom: We plant the seeds of the virtue of wisdom by reading, studying, and challenging beliefs, but wisdom only blossoms when it manifests itself in the form of actions.
  3. Temperance: The Stoic virtue of temperance is the resistance against desire and excess. Temperance is a balance between pleasure and pain.
  4. Justice: The Stoic virtue of justice teaches us to be courageous, wise, and tempered so that we can be of service to others. It’s about making the world a better place.

 

For an in-depth exploration of the Four Stoic Virtues and how to start practicing Stoicism with them as your foundation, check out our article How To Practice Stoicism: The Four Stoic Virtues.

Stoicism in modern times

Many great thinkers have read, cited, and used Stoic philosophy since Roman times. From Walt Whitman, Ambrose Pierce, to Ralph Waldo Emerson, Stoicism has been on the nightstand of abounding leaders who have shaped society and culture as we know it today. The contemporary writer and speaker Ryan Holiday has done wonders through his books like The Obstacle Is The Way and Courage Is Calling to popularize Stoicism in recent years. His large following includes ordinary people like you and me as well as athletes, business leaders, and celebrities like actor Mathew McConaughey and singer-songwriter Camila Cabello. 

In many respects, Stoic philosophy is the root of modern Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT). The founder of CBT, Aaron Beck, was very much influenced by the Stoics. Modern psychotherapeutic CBT focuses on the cognitive and behavioral aspects of mental health. Change your thoughts (attitudes on life) and then change your behavior (actions).

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The Dichotomy of Control

One of the most important Stoic practices is the acknowledgement that there are many circumstances in life over which we have no control. In Stoicism, this is known as the Dichotomy of Control, which is a simple concept, but one that’s incredibly useful to keep top of mind in daily life. The Dichotomy of Control can be summarized crudely like this: 

If it is within your control, then do all you can with it. If it is not within your control, then grant no time or energy to it. 

A practicing Stoic believes that we do have control over how we react to the inevitable problems that life invariably throws our way—that fundamentally, our attitude towards life determines the quality of our lives. A practicing Stoic does their best to improve their circumstances and the well-being of others, but lets go of the outcome of their actions. 

“Nothing is unrealistic or realistic; nothing good or evil. There is only what we think of any given situation. We create our own reality.”

Marcus Aurelius

“The meaning of things lies not in the things themselves, but in our attitude towards them.”

 Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

Before a Stoic does anything they say, ‘I’ll do this unless something happens to prevent it.’ In life, shit happens! Stoicism teaches us to let go of the outcome of our actions. It’s best to accept reality with equanimity, rather than resisting what is. 

Stoicism is knowing yourself

The Stoics were inspired by Socrates, and if you were to sum up the teachings of Socrates in two words they would be, ‘Know yourself!’ Know what’s important to you, what values you wish to embody in your life. Seek clarity and simplicity in your life. If you want equanimity or peace of mind in your life, don’t be distracted by outside events or the opinions of others. Of course, it takes a lot of self-examination to know what kind of life you wish to live and what will bring meaning to your life.

You need to develop a sense of clarity; to know who you are, what’s important to you, and then have the courage to live it. If you live like this, you will achieve inner stillness. We also need to be curious about what really motivates us to make certain decisions and life choices. Are we really acting from our own free will, or are our emotional buttons simply being pressed by outside forces?

There are a couple of things that can get in your way and destroy your peace of mind. One is second-guessing yourself. ‘Maybe, I should have done this or that.’ You can drive yourself nuts this way. If you make a mistake, fine. The only important thing is what you do next. The second hindrance to tranquility and inner stillness is comparing yourself to others. ‘But, so and so is doing this.’ Good for them! Stay on your own path. Trust your intuition. Be confident that you are on the right path and have the courage to stay the course.

Deeply focused woman on black background to represent blog post on Stoic practices

Focus on the essential

Stay focused. Don’t allow yourself to become distracted by extraneous matters. You don’t need to know everything. You don’t need to give a rat’s ass about most of the shit that everyone is talking about in our culture. The Stoic virtue of Wisdom is not about acquiring as much knowledge as possible, nor is it about having useful knowledge that only benefits you. True wisdom is the ability to remain flexible rather than consistent with your opinions and beliefs so that you can serve to make the world a better place.

Say Yes to your life

We need to say ‘yes’ to our own lives, no matter what the circumstances. The most moving example of saying yes is in Viktor Frankl’s book Man’s Search for Meaning. Frankl and others like him faced life in the concentration camps in Nazi Germany. They somehow survived, but more remarkably, they were able to create a positive experience out of what life had handed them. They were able to find personal meaning and growth—and a way of seeing the world that created value from the most horrific experience possible. Frankl writes:

“The experiences of camp life show that a man does have a choice of action. They were enough examples, often of a heroic nature, which proved that apathy could be overcome, irritability suppressed. Man can preserve a vestige of spiritual freedom, of independence of mind, even in such terrible conditions of psychic and physical stress. 

 

We who lived in the camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken away from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s way, the way in which a man accepts his fate, and all the suffering that it entails, the way in which he takes up his cross, gives him ample opportunity, even in the most difficult circumstances, to add a deeper meaning to life.”

Viktor Frankl

The love of fate

The Stoics had several epithets that serve as reminders of core concepts. One such phrase is ‘amor fati’. These two Latin words translate to ‘the love of fate’. ‘Love’ is the operative word here. It’s not a begrudging acceptance of fate, but a clear and manifest embrace of the uncertain, of some degree of unmitigable risk. It certainly doesn’t mean shying away from fate—saying no to anything that makes us uncomfortable or vulnerable. 

We can’t control the world, but we can control our reactions to it. Saying yes to your world, the good and the bad, not only reduces fear, but also creates meaning in our lives. Some may argue that if we say yes to everything, then we are accepting everything. If we are accepting everything, then we won’t act to change things that are wrong with the world. However, saying yes means taking positive action. Saying no means giving up. It is only when we can see the possibility for change that we can work to affect change. We can say no to the situation as it is, but yes to the possibility for the growth it offers. If you believe that a situation in your life is hopeless, you simply sit back and let yourself be destroyed. 

Saying yes does not mean giving up. Saying yes means getting up and acting on your belief that you can create meaning and purpose in whatever life hands you. It means channeling resources to find healthy, constructive ways to deal with adverse situations. It means acting out of strength, not weakness. It means having the flexibility necessary to look at many options and choose ones that enhance growth. It does not mean giving up.

Related article: How To Practice Amor Fati

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How to practice Stoicism: 12 Stoic practices

 

    1. Practice gratitude. Count your blessings every day and especially before you go to bed at night. Practice an attitude of abundance instead of a mentality of scarcity. Be grateful for life itself and maintain a healthy awareness that it won’t last forever. 

     

    “You could leave life right now. Let that determine what you do and say and think.”

    — Marcus Aurelius

     

    2. Accept and move on. There’s a concept in Stoicism called The Art of Acquiescence. It teaches us that we must accept hardship, loss, and failure, because only then can we find a way forward with clearer vision. Check out our article Master The Art Of Acquiescence For Resilience & Perspective for more on this.

     

    3. Remember your comebacks. In the face of adversity, don’t say to yourself, ‘Look at this person, they’re overcoming insurmountable odds!’ Instead, remember the times when you, yourself overcame great adversity in your own life.

     

    4. Let your thoughts and actions serve as tiny, incremental ‘votes’ for the kind of world you want to live in.

     

    5. Take responsibility for your own life. Do not blame anyone or anything else for your problems. It’s a waste of time and energy and will do nothing to help you move past obstacles.

     

    6. Do your best every day. Give every task your best shot and your full and undivided attention. Mindfulness really helps with this. Do not perform a task as a means to an end—as a stepping stone towards something else—give it your full attention and concentration, no matter how seemingly mundane or uncomfortable the task may be. 

     

    7. Stop complaining. We live in a moan-and-groan society. Be aware of all the negativity and complaining around you and be especially mindful of the internal complaining that goes on within you throughout your day.

     

    Stoic practices for resilience

     

    8. Easy decisions, hard life. Hard decisions, easy life. Hard work and self-discipline pay off in the long run. Do not be afraid to make uncomfortable, frightening or bold life choices. Don’t look for shortcuts in your life.

     

    9. Be prepared, alert, and ready for when things go wrong. Premeditatio malorum is the Latin phase used to label this Stoic practice, which means ‘premeditation of evils’. This is risk assessment and risk mitigation. It’s also about readiness, as Epictetus describes in this passage from The Manual: A Philosopher’s Guide to Life:

    During a voyage, when the ship is anchored and you go ashore for supplies, you may amuse yourself with picking up seashells and pretty stones along the way, but keep your thoughts attuned on the ship, keeping alert to the captain’s call. You may need to drop your treasures and run back to the boat at any time. Likewise in life, remain steadfast in pursuing your mission, always willing to shed distractions.

     

    10. No matter how difficult your life circumstances may be, do not give into despair. Every moment of every day, we have a multitude of choices. We must look for these choices. An unexamined life is not worth living. We may not be able to control the many negative thoughts and emotions that arise within us. However, we can choose to act despite these fears, emotions, and anxieties. If we are afraid to try something new that may lead us to a better life, we can feel the fear and do it anyway.

     

    11. Frame your thoughts and actions through a wider lens. Stoicism is not about improving yourself for the sake of it. It’s about making the world a better place. Embedding altruism and compassion into your goals makes them much more likely to come to fruition. Contemplate how we’re all fundamentally connected and keep your perspective as large as possible. For more on this, check out our article Interconnection & Its Connection With Stoicism.

     

    12. Reflect, review, track and measure. To really bring together all the elements of Stoicism described here, we need to remove the good intentions and get specific and measurable about our core values. Meditation is an excellent means of reflecting and keeping a diary or journal helps to bring structure and accountability to your practice.

     

    Meditate to sustain your Stoic practices

     

    Anyone who has tried meditation realizes just how much we do not control our own thoughts and emotions. They seemingly arise at will. However, we do control our actions. We can act no matter what our negative, self-defeating thoughts and our emotions are telling us. This is the road to freedom, to taking better control of your life. And yes, meditation does help, because it helps us identify and observe with equanimity our thoughts and emotions that seem to be whipping us around like a small boat in a storm. We can begin to sit quietly until the storm has passed, then, like a good Stoic, take positive action.

     

    To learn more about Stoic practices and how to practice Stoicism in your life today, check out our curated collection of the best books on Stoicism

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    Your Core Values: Turning Good Intentions Into Good Results

    Your Core Values: Turning Good Intentions Into Good Results

    There is no inertia or silent study with the Stoic virtue of Wisdom. The Stoics taught that Wisdom is about knowing things so that we can do the right things. What good is virtue at all if we’re stuck at home with it? What good is it to have silent, inactive values and virtues? Most of us have core values. We know what’s chiefly important to us: love, health, honesty, freedom, etc. We can recite them when asked, but do we actively work on them? 

     

    About a year ago, I noticed in my own life that the things I valued most were taking a backseat to my career. The fortunate thing about this realization is that because of my career I’ve learned a thing or two about getting things done. For a salary, I spend a lot of time solving complex problems, breaking down enormous projects into manageable parts, and constantly optimizing for efficient results. This juxtaposition—my core values on one side sitting stuck in the mire of good intentions and my work on the other side constantly producing tangible results—led me to a powerful realization that I’d like to share with you today. 

     

    Getting smart with our core values

     

    If industry is good for one thing, it’s getting things done. Strong businesses are built on mechanisms and techniques that remove good intentions and turn inputs into outputs. We need this with what we value most. We need to apply some result-producing methods to our love life, to our health, friendship, spirituality. Otherwise, our values remain as romanticized ideals trapped in a cloud, never raining down to water the roots of life. 

     

    “Waste no more time arguing what a good person should be. Be one.” — Marcus Aurelius

     

    In this article, I’d like to share what I’ve learned since I had this epiphany. It’s based on some basic productivity and project management techniques I’ve picked up over the years working for a giant company. I’ll share how we can borrow a cup of sugar from big business and incorporate it into our own recipe for consistent results. This is about making the time and then using that time efficiently to uphold our values in daily life.

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    Neon sign showing the words good intentions stricken out and the word mechanisms highlighted.

    The road to hell is paved with good intentions

     

    Should is not an acceptable word in a business meeting. “We should review this again next month” or “I should contact the legal department to check on that.” It’s a red flag that means the thing is probably not going to get done. Maybe it will, maybe it won’t. But that’s not good enough. This applies equally to the things we value most. “We should start having date nights every week” or “I should call my old friends more often” or “I should check out the local health food store”. These are all good intentions, which are simply not good enough for producing actual results. The first step is to change that ‘I should’ to ‘I will’. But that’s just the beginning. 

     

    How to structure your pursuit of core values and virtues 

     

    To turn these good intentions into projects that produce real results, we need two things: structure and accountability. For the structure, you’ll need two tools: a pen and a journal. Without putting them in writing, your values get stuck in the cloud of good intentions. Writing down your plans also removes the bite of forgetfulness. Life is busy. Things come up. So, being able to go back and remind yourself by looking at what you were thinking last week is crucial. Writing is also essential for the accountability piece. You need to be able to track and measure your progress. 

     

    Now that we have our tools, we need a little structure. Most big projects generally flow through these phases: 

     

    1. Planning and risk assessment
    2. Execution 
    3. Measurement 
    4. Review 

     

    I can think of no bigger project than a life lived in accordance with values and virtues.

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    Planning 

     

    This is where you work backwards from your desired result. Want to enrich your relationships? What are the actions that will get you there? How can you create the conditions for these actions to take place? This is also the moment for risk assessment. What are the potential blockers to success? How can you remove or mitigate them? I think health is an apt example to illustrate how risk assessment can be useful in our personal lives. Write down a quick list of health risks in your life. Then, think about how you can get smart about preventing these risks. Eating too much junk food? Maybe you can set up a recurring delivery of a box of assorted vegetables or healthy snacks. This makes an easy, automatic condition for the desired results to take place. 

     

    “First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do.” — Epictetus

     

    Execution

     

    Once you’ve worked backwards from the desired result and thought about how to tackle the inevitable obstacles, you should be able to produce an action list. There are two vital elements to add to each item of your list. First, you need a date by which you will complete the action. If you’ve been meaning to call an old friend, remove ‘soon’ from the equation and put a date on the calendar (consider using an actual calendar). Secondly, you need a measure of success. This may sound a bit complex and perhaps incompatible with personal core values like honesty, kindness, or community, but with a little imagination, you’ll find you can attach a metric to anything. More on measurement below. 

     

    Now you’re outfitted with action items so it’s time to build a schedule to ensure that the plan doesn’t accumulate dust when life gets busy. Creating a schedule to work on your values is perhaps the most important lesson I can share. You can embrace, discard, or adapt any of the ideas I’m sharing in this article, but if you don’t block out time to at least think about your values, they won’t budge.

    Neon sign showing the words good intentions stricken out and the word measures highlighted.

    Lifting all boats 

     

    Try identifying five to seven values you want to work on. Then, assuming they are equally important to you, block at least 30 minutes a day to work on them. Mondays are for health. Tuesdays are for relationships. Wednesdays are for creativity, for example. Create a separate section in your journal where the action plan for each value will live.

     

    Get specific about the time of day, too. If these values are the most important things in your life—more important than work—then give them your best time. If you’re most productive early in the morning on your second cup of coffee, well, don’t fill this time replying to work emails. Instead, use this time for your values. Thirty minutes a day is not a lot and the boss’ email can wait. You will reply to it later because unlike our values, our jobs come with built-in accountability. 

     

    Measurement 

     

    Thus far, I’ve been relying on my corporate experience to share ideas on how you can work toward fulfilling your commitment to values. Like business, science is another field that wouldn’t exist without numbers and measurements. Even social sciences create proxy measurements to test hypotheses. Numbers don’t lie. The numbers themselves provide accountability. In relation to our key values and virtues, some measures of success may be obvious while for others we may need to get creative. Here’s a short core values list and an idea for how we could measure them: 

     

    Honesty: number of days without telling a lie. 

    Justice (in the Stoic sense): one altruistic act per month. 

    Responsibility: minutes spent reading to your kids. 

    Love: one extraordinary expression of your love for another person per week (e.g. writing a note, buying flowers, not doing that thing you want to do so that they can do the thing they want to do). 

    Community: invite your neighbors for dinner two times per year

    Balance: reduce time working by X% and reinvest it into X activity. 

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    Review

     

    This is the time to check in on your dates and measurements. This is the final and therefore most essential element of accountability. There’s no use in creating timelines and recording data if you don’t review it. Did you miss a ‘deadline’? If so, don’t beat yourself up but figure out why it happened and revise your approach for next time. Did you spend fewer minutes this month exercising? Maybe there was a good reason and therefore no corrective action is required. Life happens. Or maybe it’s a trend. You’ve been spending less time exercising each month for the last three months. Maybe, upon closer inspection, you realize you’re bored with the type of exercise you’ve been doing and you need to change things up. 

     

    The review period is the moment for recalibration. Even with the best mechanisms and the right effort, we are always working against the backdrop of change. Our environment changes. The people around us change. We change. Review and reflection are the tools that enable reorientation, so that we can remain on a middle path, characterized by a healthy balance between action and rest and proper alignment with our values. 

     

    Correcting imbalance

     

    We should also review the values themselves. When I first started doing this—building a schedule and filling it with mechanisms to work on my values—I had included financial stability as one of my values. It was a time during which I worked on things like learning about investing and looking for ways to reduce expenses. But I realized that I already spend an immense amount of time on money; my career. I also realized that I have natural motivations to work toward the outcome of financial stability. This was an imbalance, so I reviewed it, and corrected it to reinvest that time into my relationships.

     

    “We need to regularly stop and take stock; to sit down and determine within ourselves which things are worth valuing and which things are not; which risks are worth the cost and which are not. Even the most confusing and hurtful aspects of life can be made more tolerable by clear seeing and by choice.” — Epictetus

     

    Core values support life

     

    Stoicism teaches us above all to live in accordance with our virtues and core values. It’s a bit like a field manual for life. Stoicism is an exercise to define what is important so that we can act it out. Often, we know how to turn intentions into actions, but we only do it to earn a salary. When it comes to our relationships, health, integrity, and all that we cherish intellectually, we are ineffective. 

     

    We fail to produce results in the areas of life that we value most because we rely on good intentions. We make the mistake of thinking because it’s important to us it will just happen. Rarely do things just happen—at least not consistently. Lack of plans, schedules, measures, and accountability is what leads to at best little bursts of ephemeral motivation and at worst nothing at all. The last tip I’d like to share is to have fun with this. Don’t let the measurements become the goal. The structures and mechanisms described here are meant to support life, not get in the way of it. 

     

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    Premeditatio Malorum: A Practice For Resilience

    Premeditatio Malorum: A Practice For Resilience

    Our lives are controlled by external factors. When we fail to anticipate this, we suffer. The ancient Stoics were acutely aware of this. In fact, they developed an epithet for practitioners of Stoicism to keep at arm’s length to remember this crucially important concept: premeditatio malorum. This Latin phrase literally means ‘the pre-meditation of evils’. In more common language, it means anticipating what could go wrong. Given the random nature of the universe, which is entirely indifferent to you and your plans, premeditatio malorum is more than just a phrase. It’s a tactical practice which helps us develop better plans and respond rationally when things don’t go as planned. It’s the deliberate pondering of what could go wrong, but it’s also a firm sense of gratitude for when things go well.

     

    This practice is not meant to foster anxiety or worry. Rather, it’s meant to promote preparedness and resilience against life’s inevitable vicissitudes. Premeditatio malorum is more than just a statement to post on our walls. It’s a practice to undertake before engaging with the external world. It’s not only an attempt to identify obstacles, but also a reminder that we have the inner resources to deal with them. In this post, we’ll explore the Stoic concept of premeditatio malorum by examining its utility for drafting better plans. We’ll discuss how failing to anticipate challenges and malevolence sets us up for unpleasant surprises. When we’re caught off guard, we react with emotion and delay or miss our chance to rebound quickly. 

    This post contains affiliate links, which help us keep the blog afloat. Click here for more information.

    What is premeditatio malorum

    Negative visualization

     

    Modern Stoics describe premeditatio malorum as a negative visualization exercise. We hear a lot, in sports and performance psychology, for example, about positive visualization. There is some evidence to support the well-established idea that visualizing the process and steps required to succeed in a given activity actually leads to higher likelihood of success. But this is also true for negative visualization. In business, they call this a pre-mortem. Before kicking off a new project or initiative, stakeholders simply imagine all the possible negative outcomes and work backwards to identify the causes of these imagined failures. There’s a reason why major companies spend time and therefore money to do this. It helps them avoid potential pitfalls. It increases the likelihood of success.

     

    As individuals, we can practice Stoic negative visualization for our big projects, too. But we can also practice it on a smaller scale. If someone cuts us off in traffic or interrupts us rudely in a meeting, we only react viscerally because we had failed to remind ourselves beforehand that although most people are not malevolent, people are generally much more preoccupied with themselves than with us. This is also an effective way of managing expectations when it comes to more intimate relationships. In the morning, when we anticipate that our partner’s needs that day may supersede our own, we are less affected when we have to make personal sacrifices for them. 

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    Premeditatio malorum promotes resilience

     

    Whether we employ premeditatio malorum as a formal, perhaps written exercise before embarking on a new endeavor, or whether we practice in silent meditation in the morning to prepare us for the day ahead, it helps us become more resilient. Resilience is not an unwavering fortitude. Rather, it’s the ability to pick ourselves up and get back into the game quickly after a setback. Having plans B, C, and D is a good thing. But it’s even better if we waste no time wallowing in anger or other toxic emotions when something obstructs Plan A. Therefore, anticipating potential negative outcomes reduces our emotional reactions to them because we’ve already experienced them through deliberate anticipation. 

    Related: Premeditatio Malorum: 10-Minute Guided Meditation Inspired by Stoicism (YouTube link)

     

    I can’t count how many times I looked back on a situation when I got angry or felt personally injured, and realized later that I didn’t actually care that much about what had happened. It was just the surface of my ego reacting because the situation caught me off guard. In retrospect, in the majority of those situations, if I had just entered into the situation with the awareness that not only could something go wrong, but that also I have the inner strength and self-esteem required to deal with it, I would not have reacted. Instead, I would have responded

    What does premeditatio malorum mean

    The universe is indifferent to your plans

     

    As a more formal exercise, premeditatio malorum, negative visualization, pre-mortem analysis, or whatever you want to call it, leads to more solid plans. Risk is omnipresent and pervasive. Risk, in and of itself, does not lead to failure. The inability or unwillingness to identify risk and implement action items to mitigate or avoid it is what leads to failure. The same goes for the universe’s indifference towards us. We are all somewhat self-centered. That’s normal. Premeditatio malorum helps us poke our head out from our deeply personal passions and desires (both of which are good in moderation) to anticipate that the world doesn’t care about us. The world’s indifference, or in some rare cases, its malevolence towards us, means that it will not cooperate with us and it certainly will not bend to our will. Life happens through us, not to us. 

     

    Develop your plans naturally. Don’t let negative visualization obstruct your vision or creativity. But once you’ve created your plans, with all your zeal, ambition, and creativity, take some time to critically analyze them. Try putting yourself in someone else’s shoes. Perhaps imagine how a competitor or potential investor would view your plans. What risks or challenges do your plans present for other people involved? Ask yourself a series of ‘what if?’ questions and develop contingencies. Write a list of assumptions related to your plan and try to challenge each of them. Try to zoom out from your plan, moving out from under the trees and examine the whole forest from above to put your plan into a wider perspective.

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    Premeditatio malorum fosters gratitude

     

    Practices like these will help you identify some potential obstacles and challenges, but not all of them. The final part of the exercise is recognizing with humility that you did your best to look around every corner, but ultimately, the world is unpredictable. In the end, know with confidence that you’re armed with the recognition that things will be hard, but that you have the inner resources to deal with anything. 

     

    Finally, in addition to better plans and more rational responses to unexpected obstacles, the concept of premeditatio malorum teaches us to be grateful for all that is relatively good. Sometimes things do go our way, and for this we should be immensely grateful. Having anticipated challenges and being fortunate enough to have not met them is extra sweet. Having anticipated challenges and then having met and overcome them is even sweeter. Ultimately, it’s a classic case of putting things into perspective. We can view past, present, and future successes as precious because we know that things can and sometimes do go differently.

     

    “Nothing happens to the wise man against his expectation, nor do all things turn out for him as he wished but as he reckoned—and above all he reckoned that something could block his plans.”

    Epictetus

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    Interconnection & Its Connection With Stoicism

    Interconnection & Its Connection With Stoicism

    Where we find overlap of ideas across cultures and periods of history, we find truth about human nature. We commonly associate interconnection—the notion that we are all fundamentally connected to each other—with Buddhism or other Eastern philosophical traditions. The ancient Greeks and Stoics, too, had their sympatheia, which they described as a cosmic interconnection shared among all past, present and future life forms. 

     

    “Meditate often on the interconnectedness and mutual interdependence of all things in the universe […] all things are mutually woven together and therefore have an affinity for each other.”

    – Marcus Aurelius

    Interconnection in human experience

     

    When we read history and philosophy, we see descriptions of our interconnection as a central component of understanding ourselves, from the ancient Greeks to the Stoics, in Buddhism, Christianity, and virtually all major religions. 

     

    In fact, in their study “Shared Virtues: The Convergence of Valued Human Strengths Across Culture and History”, Katherine Dahlsgaard and her colleagues identified six core virtues shared among Buddhism, Christianity, Confucianism, Hinduism, Taoism, and ancient Greek philosophy. Among the six human virtues identified in the study, we find Transcendence, which can be described as the use of compassion, gratitude and hope to experience a larger connection to the universe. 

     

    “As a net is made up of a series of ties, so everything in this world is connected by a series of ties. If anyone thinks that the mesh of a net is an independent, isolated thing, he is mistaken. It is called a net because it is made up of a series of interconnected meshes, and each mesh has its place and responsibility in relation to other meshes.”

    – Gautama Buddha

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    What is interconnection

    If religion or philosophy is not your north star, you can also find meaningful discussion of interconnection in science. The phrase “six degrees of separation” is popularly used to describe the theory that any one person is connected to any other person on the planet by only six intermediary contacts. Several studies support the concept, including the Small World Project, which showed empirically that people in the United States are indeed separated by an average of just six contacts. Popular Astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson has eloquently described interconnection in a scientific context countless times throughout his career: 

    “We are all connected; To each other, biologically. To the earth, chemically. To the rest of the universe atomically.”

     

    Stoicism gets misunderstood

     

    When Stoicism is misunderstood, it is often because it is betrayed as a white-knuckled acceptance of all life’s harshness. Just search for the hashtag #Stoicism on Instagram and you’ll likely find imagery of warriors and men carved from stone. While Stoicism does offer an immense utility when it comes to dealing with life’s hardships, it also celebrates life’s natural beauty and wonder. 

     

    Stoicism is not just about inner fortitude. It is also a social philosophy, in which the interconnection of all life is integral to understanding oneself. It teaches us to avoid feverish aversion and discard strong attachment to people. 

     

    The Stoics inherited and built upon many ideas from the ancient Athenian philosophers like Socrates, Aristotle and Plato. The Stoics would elaborate upon their predecessors’ ideas and create ethical theories, such as oikeiosis. Simply put, oikeiosis describes the idea that we ought to extend kindness to everyone just as we would to our own loved ones. Stoics like Hierocles outlined how we should extend oikeiosis in gradually widening circles, starting with ourselves, moving out through our community, and gradually reaching the outer circles of the human race. 

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    Understanding oneself is essential in Stoicism. It’s awfully hard to apply virtues like Justice and Wisdom if you don’t know yourself intimately and honestly. We are so focused inward on our own experiences that we forget to open our eyes to the people around us going through the exact same things. They say reading allows the reader to learn from other people’s experiences and mistakes without actually having to go through them. In this way, recognizing and observing interconnection and shared experience with other people is similar to reading. Other people have, are currently, and will in the future experience the same ups and downs as you. You can learn from this.

     

    Emotional interconnection

     

    In his book, Stillness Is The Key, Ryan Holiday outlines emotional interconnection. No matter what our background or circumstances, we’ve all known the joy of play or the fear of judgment. The full spectrum of emotions is a shared human experience. Recognizing this brings us closer to one another. Sure, some people are relatively more fortunate than others in economic status or in health. But, it’s important to remember that human experience is relative. One person’s worst day is their worst day, it’s as simple as that. 

     

    The Stoics and Buddhists also overlap on the idea that we share a lot of experience with animals. Our sense of exceptionalism only exists in comparison to animals, but this idea doesn’t serve us to be better people. Realizing that we humans are not that different from animals allows us to stay humble and even learn from the nature of the animal kingdom. 

    Interconnection in Stoicism

    Dr. Rick Hanson, PhD is an expert on positive neuroplasticity, founder of the Wellspring Institute for Neuroscience and Contemplative Wisdom, and a New York Times best-selling author. His book subjects are often a marriage of Buddhist wisdom and neuroscience. He acknowledges the interconnection between humans and animals from both a scientific and a Buddhist perspective in his book Neurodharma: New Science, Ancient Wisdom and Seven Practices of the Highest Happiness:

     

    “[…] not surprisingly, the neural hardware that enables our human version of hearing and seeing, learning and wanting, is present in similar forms in the inch-long brain of a squirrel.”

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    The Earth and stars connect us

     

    Interconnection also exists in a physical, non-sentient way. Ryan Holiday also notes in Stillness Is The Key that much like emotional interconnection, we all share a lot of physical connection. He provides the example of the moon. Go outside tonight and look at the moon. It is the same moon that Ghandi or Seneca looked upon before us. It is the same moon that you looked at as a child. The same goes for the air we breathe, the water we drink, and the earth we stand upon—we share them all timelessly. 

     

    I have no practical takeaways to leave you with. I simply hope that this helps to rekindle your sense of interconnection with others. One must look outward to truly understand oneself, and we must truly understand ourselves to carry out our designs for a better world. 

     

    “We are all strands in a long rope that stretches back countless generations and ties together every person in every country on every continent. We are all thinking and feeling the same things, we are all made of and motivated by the same things; we are all stardust. And no one needs this understanding more than the ambitious or the creative, since they live so much in their own heads and in their own bubble.”

    – Ryan Holiday 

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