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Master The Art Of Acquiescence For Resilience & Perspective

Jan 29, 2023 | Stoicism

A murder at 5AM in Brooklyn ended one man’s life and changed another’s forever. The man whose life was changed was Derrick Hamilton. Just 17 years old, he was arrested for the murder. This was terrifying for Derrick, because he did not commit the murder. He thought that the truth would come out in the trial. It did not.

The judge refused witness testimony of the one person who could prove his innocence. He was convicted and sentenced to 25 years in prison. Derrick appealed the case and did so successfully, but just eight months later there was a terrible Deja vu. Again, he was arrested for murder. And again, he was wrongly convicted for life.

This time, he began to study law in prison, and he did so with determination. He read law books cover to cover. He studied his own case, but also the cases of dozens of other wrongly convicted inmates. Although three decades of his life were taken from him, he was able to help countless others with his hard-earned legal expertise. His sentence was eventually overturned. Today, he is free.

Most people would have taken their settlement and rode off into the sunset. But not Derrick. He’s known not only as the most prolific jailhouse lawyer, but he’s now regarded as one of the most effective criminal justice reformers in America. Through his efforts, he is responsible for the release of approximately one hundred wrongly convicted people. He gave them their lives back. He continues this fight today.

When asked in an interview how he got over the anger, Derrick responded, “I never said I got over the anger. What I did was channel the anger into something else.”

What is The Art of Acquiescence?

The Art of Acquiescence is a concept from Stoicism that teaches us to accept things that are beyond our control rather than fighting them. It is not, however, passive acceptance. It is not giving up. The Art of Acquiescence is accepting the obstacle so that we can find another way around.

Resilience and The Art of Acquiescence

Derrick Hamilton’s story is compelling and relevant to The Art of Acquiescence for several reasons, but one in particular stands out. He obviously had to accept that his freedom—his life—had been taken away. This was out of his control. But he did not accept it passively. He wasted no time sinking into dark depression. He did not retaliate with aggression or hatred. Instead, he channeled his energy into something he believed: proving his innocence. He found another way around.

Resilience is about rebounding quickly from setbacks. This is closely related to The Art of Acquiescence, because we cannot begin to move forward if we are stuck resisting something bad that has already happened. Usually, we can’t even see the way forward until we have accepted that we have been blocked. So, The Art of Acquiescence is about accepting when things go wrong so we can move on and move on with clearer vision.

Efficiency and The Art of Acquiescence

There’s a concept in economics and investing called Sunk Cost Fallacy. This is when an investor continues to hold onto, or even throw more money into, a failing investment. The sunk cost fallacy leads the investor down an illogical path: I’ve already spent so much, so this has to work. I’ll keep at it.

Smart investors don’t fall for sunk cost bias. They know exactly when to exit a failing investment, and they adhere to their own rules strictly, regardless of how bad it feels to take a loss. Again, this is The Art of Acquiescence.

We need to avoid sunk cost bias by accepting losses in our own lives and moving on from them. This applies to all kinds of things: relationships, diets, jobs, general uncertainty, but also myriads of mundane losses and setbacks. Accepting a bad break, no matter how bad it is, prevents us from wasting more precious time and energy dwelling on it or resisting it.

Female athlete jumping over a hurdle to represent an article about The Art of Acquiescence

Accept that you cannot be amazing at everything

Another way to apply The Art of Acquiescence is by deciding to limit what you’ll be great at. This has been a fairly recent realization in my own life. There are many hats that I wear. Obviously, I write this blog, so writing and my philosophical practices associated with it are things I want to be great at. In addition, I have a full-time career, so this blog is really a side project for the moment. I’m serious about exercise. I’m serious about meditation. My family is the most important thing—in fact, at the time of writing, I’m about two weeks away from becoming a father.

I realized that I’m not going to be great at all of these things. At best, I can be great at two of them. That’s it. I think we’re led to believe that we can and should be amazing at dozens of things. But there’s that old saying: Jack of all trades, master of none.

Social media probably doesn’t help. Its feeds are optimized to show us what we’re interested in. My feeds show me exercise, meditation, Stoicism, writing, and more. It shows me people being amazing at these things. The result is I internalize that I should also be amazing at all of these things, because I care about all of them. My interpretation of The Art of Acquiescence tells me that I should choose one or two things at most to really focus on. For everything else, I can accept that I will be merely good or OK.

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Perspective and The Art of Acquiescence

Practicing The Art of Acquiescence requires (and builds) a wider perspective. Accepting the roll of the dice leaves no room for blame or aversion to accountability. Blame is not compatible with The Art of Acquiescence, because it keeps us stuck on the problem. We need the right perspective (or Right View as it’s commonly referred to in the context of the Noble Eightfold Path) to see beyond the problem. What lies beyond the problem is the solution.

“Where the head goes, the body follows. Perception precedes action. Right action follows the right perspective.”

– Ryan Holiday, The Obstacle Is The Way

There are even rare cases where we can use the problem to our advantage. When Derrick Hamilton was arrested under his first wrongful murder charge, he was 17. He says that he was a teenage product of his environment—certainly not committing murder, but involved in minor illegal activities. Fast forward through his three-decade-long struggle in prison and with the justice system, and now he teaches law at Cardozo School of Law in New York.

Final thoughts

The Art of Acquiescence is simple: accept the bad so that you can move past it. The faster we do this, the better. Loss, failure, and mistakes can be brutal, so practice The Art of Acquiescence with compassion for yourself. You shouldn’t numb yourself or become a machine. Feeling the pain is part of the process. If you don’t feel the sting, then you’re not awake. You must be awake and aware to learn from the loss—to grow from it and see new perspectives.

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How To Practice Stoicism: An Introduction & 12 Stoic Practices

Jun 19, 2022 | Foundations, Stoicism

Stoicism is misunderstood. Unlike a common usage of the word ‘stoic’, Stoicism is not an emotionless, white-knuckled bearing of hardships. So, what is Stoicism? How can you practice Stoicism in daily life? Stoicism is not just a philosophy. It’s an experiential practice. It’s a path to a meaningful and happy life, guided by values and virtues, and aimed at making the world a better place. In this article, we’ll define Stoicism for those new to the philosophy and attempt to provide insights on how to start practicing Stoicism for anyone looking to build on their Stoic practices.

I believe that author Nassim Nicholas Taleb defines Stoicism well in this quote:

“A Stoic is someone who transforms fear into prudence, pain into transformation, mistakes into initiation, and desire into undertaking.”

— N.N.Taleb

Click the links below to navigate to specific sections or keep scrolling to read the full article:

What is Stoicism?
How to practice Stoicism using the Four Stoic Virtues
Stoicism in modern times
The Dichotomy of Control
Stoicism is knowing yourself
Focus on the essential
The love of fate (amor fati)
How to practice Stoicism: 12 Stoic practices

What is Stoicism?

Stoicism is an ancient philosophy that flourished in the Greek and Roman worlds until around the 3rd century AD. It placed virtue as the highest good, taught the need to temper desire for pleasure, wealth, and status, and was widely accessible. It has stood the test of time, thanks in large part to the written works of famous Stoics like Marcus Aurelius, the Roman Emperor and philosopher who had Stoicism at his side while he led the Roman empire through war and plague. He is known as the last of the Five Good Emperors, presiding over the last years of the Pax Romana era of Roman history, remembered for its relative peace and stability.

Epictetus—born a slave and crippled in early age—would use his exploration of philosophy to eventually emancipate himself and found his own school of Stoicism in Rome, which would influence the thoughts and actions of the most powerful men in the world, including Marcus Aurelius. Epictetus’ Discourses and Marcus Aurelius’ Meditations remain bedrock literature in Stoicism and their utility and wisdom have not been lost on readers of today.

Stoicism is not just a set of beliefs or ethical claims. It’s a way of living, involving consistent training and practice, and incorporating the practice of logic, contemplation on the finite nature of life, and the use of core values to guide one’s actions.

Stoicism directly acknowledges the chaotic nature of the world, namely interpersonal struggle. It has much to teach us about being socially courageous and how to deal with difficult people. It teaches us to embrace and prepare for the unexpected, but it’s not all about making moves and getting things done, as it has profound offerings on compassion, greater good, and inner stillness.

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How to practice Stoicism using the Four Stoic Virtues

One simple yet effective way to begin practicing Stoicism is to familiarize yourself with the Four Stoic Virtues and start using them to frame your decisions and actions. Here’s a succinct overview of my practical interpretation of the Four Stoic Cardinal Virtues:

Courage: The mitigation and, ultimately, the acceptance of risk, and doing the right thing even if it means being misunderstood.
Wisdom: We plant the seeds of the virtue of wisdom by reading, studying, and challenging beliefs, but wisdom only blossoms when it manifests itself in the form of actions.
Temperance: The Stoic virtue of temperance is the resistance against desire and excess. Temperance is a balance between pleasure and pain.
Justice: The Stoic virtue of justice teaches us to be courageous, wise, and tempered so that we can be of service to others. It’s about making the world a better place.

For an in-depth exploration of the Four Stoic Virtues and how to start practicing Stoicism with them as your foundation, check out our article How To Practice Stoicism: The Four Stoic Virtues.

Stoicism in modern times

Many great thinkers have read, cited, and used Stoic philosophy since Roman times. From Walt Whitman, Ambrose Pierce, to Ralph Waldo Emerson, Stoicism has been on the nightstand of abounding leaders who have shaped society and culture as we know it today. The contemporary writer and speaker Ryan Holiday has done wonders through his books like The Obstacle Is The Way and Courage Is Calling to popularize Stoicism in recent years. His large following includes ordinary people like you and me as well as athletes, business leaders, and celebrities like actor Mathew McConaughey and singer-songwriter Camila Cabello.

In many respects, Stoic philosophy is the root of modern Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT). The founder of CBT, Aaron Beck, was very much influenced by the Stoics. Modern psychotherapeutic CBT focuses on the cognitive and behavioral aspects of mental health. Change your thoughts (attitudes on life) and then change your behavior (actions).

The Dichotomy of Control

One of the most important Stoic practices is the acknowledgement that there are many circumstances in life over which we have no control. In Stoicism, this is known as the Dichotomy of Control, which is a simple concept, but one that’s incredibly useful to keep top of mind in daily life. The Dichotomy of Control can be summarized crudely like this:

If it is within your control, then do all you can with it. If it is not within your control, then grant no time or energy to it.

A practicing Stoic believes that we do have control over how we react to the inevitable problems that life invariably throws our way—that fundamentally, our attitude towards life determines the quality of our lives. A practicing Stoic does their best to improve their circumstances and the well-being of others, but lets go of the outcome of their actions.

“Nothing is unrealistic or realistic; nothing good or evil. There is only what we think of any given situation. We create our own reality.”

— Marcus Aurelius

“The meaning of things lies not in the things themselves, but in our attitude towards them.”

— Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

Before a Stoic does anything they say, ‘I’ll do this unless something happens to prevent it.’ In life, shit happens! Stoicism teaches us to let go of the outcome of our actions. It’s best to accept reality with equanimity, rather than resisting what is.

Stoicism is knowing yourself

The Stoics were inspired by Socrates, and if you were to sum up the teachings of Socrates in two words they would be, ‘Know yourself!’ Know what’s important to you, what values you wish to embody in your life. Seek clarity and simplicity in your life. If you want equanimity or peace of mind in your life, don’t be distracted by outside events or the opinions of others. Of course, it takes a lot of self-examination to know what kind of life you wish to live and what will bring meaning to your life.

You need to develop a sense of clarity; to know who you are, what’s important to you, and then have the courage to live it. If you live like this, you will achieve inner stillness. We also need to be curious about what really motivates us to make certain decisions and life choices. Are we really acting from our own free will, or are our emotional buttons simply being pressed by outside forces?

There are a couple of things that can get in your way and destroy your peace of mind. One is second-guessing yourself. ‘Maybe, I should have done this or that.’ You can drive yourself nuts this way. If you make a mistake, fine. The only important thing is what you do next. The second hindrance to tranquility and inner stillness is comparing yourself to others. ‘But, so and so is doing this.’ Good for them! Stay on your own path. Trust your intuition. Be confident that you are on the right path and have the courage to stay the course.

Deeply focused woman on black background to represent blog post on Stoic practices

Focus on the essential

Stay focused. Don’t allow yourself to become distracted by extraneous matters. You don’t need to know everything. You don’t need to give a rat’s ass about most of the shit that everyone is talking about in our culture. The Stoic virtue of Wisdom is not about acquiring as much knowledge as possible, nor is it about having useful knowledge that only benefits you. True wisdom is the ability to remain flexible rather than consistent with your opinions and beliefs so that you can serve to make the world a better place.

Say Yes to your life

We need to say ‘yes’ to our own lives, no matter what the circumstances. The most moving example of saying yes is in Viktor Frankl’s book Man’s Search for Meaning. Frankl and others like him faced life in the concentration camps in Nazi Germany. They somehow survived, but more remarkably, they were able to create a positive experience out of what life had handed them. They were able to find personal meaning and growth—and a way of seeing the world that created value from the most horrific experience possible. Frankl writes:

“The experiences of camp life show that a man does have a choice of action. They were enough examples, often of a heroic nature, which proved that apathy could be overcome, irritability suppressed. Man can preserve a vestige of spiritual freedom, of independence of mind, even in such terrible conditions of psychic and physical stress.

We who lived in the camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken away from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s way, the way in which a man accepts his fate, and all the suffering that it entails, the way in which he takes up his cross, gives him ample opportunity, even in the most difficult circumstances, to add a deeper meaning to life.”

— Viktor Frankl

The love of fate

The Stoics had several epithets that serve as reminders of core concepts. One such phrase is ‘amor fati’. These two Latin words translate to ‘the love of fate’. ‘Love’ is the operative word here. It’s not a begrudging acceptance of fate, but a clear and manifest embrace of the uncertain, of some degree of unmitigable risk. It certainly doesn’t mean shying away from fate—saying no to anything that makes us uncomfortable or vulnerable.

We can’t control the world, but we can control our reactions to it. Saying yes to your world, the good and the bad, not only reduces fear, but also creates meaning in our lives. Some may argue that if we say yes to everything, then we are accepting everything. If we are accepting everything, then we won’t act to change things that are wrong with the world. However, saying yes means taking positive action. Saying no means giving up. It is only when we can see the possibility for change that we can work to affect change. We can say no to the situation as it is, but yes to the possibility for the growth it offers. If you believe that a situation in your life is hopeless, you simply sit back and let yourself be destroyed.

Saying yes does not mean giving up. Saying yes means getting up and acting on your belief that you can create meaning and purpose in whatever life hands you. It means channeling resources to find healthy, constructive ways to deal with adverse situations. It means acting out of strength, not weakness. It means having the flexibility necessary to look at many options and choose ones that enhance growth. It does not mean giving up.

Related article: How To Practice Amor Fati

How to practice Stoicism: 12 Stoic practices

1. Practice gratitude. Count your blessings every day and especially before you go to bed at night. Practice an attitude of abundance instead of a mentality of scarcity. Be grateful for life itself and maintain a healthy awareness that it won’t last forever.

“You could leave life right now. Let that determine what you do and say and think.”

— Marcus Aurelius

2. Accept and move on. There’s a concept in Stoicism called The Art of Acquiescence. It teaches us that we must accept hardship, loss, and failure, because only then can we find a way forward with clearer vision. Check out our article Master The Art Of Acquiescence For Resilience & Perspective for more on this.

3. Remember your comebacks. In the face of adversity, don’t say to yourself, ‘Look at this person, they’re overcoming insurmountable odds!’ Instead, remember the times when you, yourself overcame great adversity in your own life.

4. Let your thoughts and actions serve as tiny, incremental ‘votes’ for the kind of world you want to live in.

5. Take responsibility for your own life. Do not blame anyone or anything else for your problems. It’s a waste of time and energy and will do nothing to help you move past obstacles.

6. Do your best every day. Give every task your best shot and your full and undivided attention. Mindfulness really helps with this. Do not perform a task as a means to an end—as a stepping stone towards something else—give it your full attention and concentration, no matter how seemingly mundane or uncomfortable the task may be.

7. Stop complaining. We live in a moan-and-groan society. Be aware of all the negativity and complaining around you and be especially mindful of the internal complaining that goes on within you throughout your day.

Stoic practices for resilience

8. Easy decisions, hard life. Hard decisions, easy life. Hard work and self-discipline pay off in the long run. Do not be afraid to make uncomfortable, frightening or bold life choices. Don’t look for shortcuts in your life.

9. Be prepared, alert, and ready for when things go wrong. Premeditatio malorum is the Latin phase used to label this Stoic practice, which means ‘premeditation of evils’. This is risk assessment and risk mitigation. It’s also about readiness, as Epictetus describes in this passage from The Manual: A Philosopher’s Guide to Life:

During a voyage, when the ship is anchored and you go ashore for supplies, you may amuse yourself with picking up seashells and pretty stones along the way, but keep your thoughts attuned on the ship, keeping alert to the captain’s call. You may need to drop your treasures and run back to the boat at any time. Likewise in life, remain steadfast in pursuing your mission, always willing to shed distractions.

10. No matter how difficult your life circumstances may be, do not give into despair. Every moment of every day, we have a multitude of choices. We must look for these choices. An unexamined life is not worth living. We may not be able to control the many negative thoughts and emotions that arise within us. However, we can choose to act despite these fears, emotions, and anxieties. If we are afraid to try something new that may lead us to a better life, we can feel the fear and do it anyway.

11. Frame your thoughts and actions through a wider lens. Stoicism is not about improving yourself for the sake of it. It’s about making the world a better place. Embedding altruism and compassion into your goals makes them much more likely to come to fruition. Contemplate how we’re all fundamentally connected and keep your perspective as large as possible. For more on this, check out our article Interconnection & Its Connection With Stoicism.

12. Reflect, review, track and measure. To really bring together all the elements of Stoicism described here, we need to remove the good intentions and get specific and measurable about our core values. Meditation is an excellent means of reflecting and keeping a diary or journal helps to bring structure and accountability to your practice.

Meditate to sustain your Stoic practices

Anyone who has tried meditation realizes just how much we do not control our own thoughts and emotions. They seemingly arise at will. However, we do control our actions. We can act no matter what our negative, self-defeating thoughts and our emotions are telling us. This is the road to freedom, to taking better control of your life. And yes, meditation does help, because it helps us identify and observe with equanimity our thoughts and emotions that seem to be whipping us around like a small boat in a storm. We can begin to sit quietly until the storm has passed, then, like a good Stoic, take positive action.

To learn more about Stoic practices and how to practice Stoicism in your life today, check out our curated collection of the best books on Stoicism.

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Your Core Values: Turning Good Intentions Into Good Results

May 22, 2022 | Balance, Stoicism

There is no inertia or silent study with the Stoic virtue of Wisdom. The Stoics taught that Wisdom is about knowing things so that we can do the right things. What good is virtue at all if we’re stuck at home with it? What good is it to have silent, inactive values and virtues? Most of us have core values. We know what’s chiefly important to us: love, health, honesty, freedom, etc. We can recite them when asked, but do we actively work on them?

About a year ago, I noticed in my own life that the things I valued most were taking a backseat to my career. The fortunate thing about this realization is that because of my career I’ve learned a thing or two about getting things done. For a salary, I spend a lot of time solving complex problems, breaking down enormous projects into manageable parts, and constantly optimizing for efficient results. This juxtaposition—my core values on one side sitting stuck in the mire of good intentions and my work on the other side constantly producing tangible results—led me to a powerful realization that I’d like to share with you today.

Getting smart with our core values

If industry is good for one thing, it’s getting things done. Strong businesses are built on mechanisms and techniques that remove good intentions and turn inputs into outputs. We need this with what we value most. We need to apply some result-producing methods to our love life, to our health, friendship, spirituality. Otherwise, our values remain as romanticized ideals trapped in a cloud, never raining down to water the roots of life.

“Waste no more time arguing what a good person should be. Be one.” — Marcus Aurelius

In this article, I’d like to share what I’ve learned since I had this epiphany. It’s based on some basic productivity and project management techniques I’ve picked up over the years working for a giant company. I’ll share how we can borrow a cup of sugar from big business and incorporate it into our own recipe for consistent results. This is about making the time and then using that time efficiently to uphold our values in daily life.

This post contains affiliate links, which help us keep the blog afloat. Click here for more information.

Neon sign showing the words good intentions stricken out and the word mechanisms highlighted.

The road to hell is paved with good intentions

Should is not an acceptable word in a business meeting. “We should review this again next month” or “I should contact the legal department to check on that.” It’s a red flag that means the thing is probably not going to get done. Maybe it will, maybe it won’t. But that’s not good enough. This applies equally to the things we value most. “We should start having date nights every week” or “I should call my old friends more often” or “I should check out the local health food store”. These are all good intentions, which are simply not good enough for producing actual results. The first step is to change that ‘I should’ to ‘I will’. But that’s just the beginning.

How to structure your pursuit of core values and virtues

To turn these good intentions into projects that produce real results, we need two things: structure and accountability. For the structure, you’ll need two tools: a pen and a journal. Without putting them in writing, your values get stuck in the cloud of good intentions. Writing down your plans also removes the bite of forgetfulness. Life is busy. Things come up. So, being able to go back and remind yourself by looking at what you were thinking last week is crucial. Writing is also essential for the accountability piece. You need to be able to track and measure your progress.

Now that we have our tools, we need a little structure. Most big projects generally flow through these phases:

Planning and risk assessment
Execution
Measurement
Review

I can think of no bigger project than a life lived in accordance with values and virtues.

Planning

This is where you work backwards from your desired result. Want to enrich your relationships? What are the actions that will get you there? How can you create the conditions for these actions to take place? This is also the moment for risk assessment. What are the potential blockers to success? How can you remove or mitigate them? I think health is an apt example to illustrate how risk assessment can be useful in our personal lives. Write down a quick list of health risks in your life. Then, think about how you can get smart about preventing these risks. Eating too much junk food? Maybe you can set up a recurring delivery of a box of assorted vegetables or healthy snacks. This makes an easy, automatic condition for the desired results to take place.

“First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do.” — Epictetus

Execution

Once you’ve worked backwards from the desired result and thought about how to tackle the inevitable obstacles, you should be able to produce an action list. There are two vital elements to add to each item of your list. First, you need a date by which you will complete the action. If you’ve been meaning to call an old friend, remove ‘soon’ from the equation and put a date on the calendar (consider using an actual calendar). Secondly, you need a measure of success. This may sound a bit complex and perhaps incompatible with personal core values like honesty, kindness, or community, but with a little imagination, you’ll find you can attach a metric to anything. More on measurement below.

Now you’re outfitted with action items so it’s time to build a schedule to ensure that the plan doesn’t accumulate dust when life gets busy. Creating a schedule to work on your values is perhaps the most important lesson I can share. You can embrace, discard, or adapt any of the ideas I’m sharing in this article, but if you don’t block out time to at least think about your values, they won’t budge.

Neon sign showing the words good intentions stricken out and the word measures highlighted.

Lifting all boats

Try identifying five to seven values you want to work on. Then, assuming they are equally important to you, block at least 30 minutes a day to work on them. Mondays are for health. Tuesdays are for relationships. Wednesdays are for creativity, for example. Create a separate section in your journal where the action plan for each value will live.

Get specific about the time of day, too. If these values are the most important things in your life—more important than work—then give them your best time. If you’re most productive early in the morning on your second cup of coffee, well, don’t fill this time replying to work emails. Instead, use this time for your values. Thirty minutes a day is not a lot and the boss’ email can wait. You will reply to it later because unlike our values, our jobs come with built-in accountability.

Measurement

Thus far, I’ve been relying on my corporate experience to share ideas on how you can work toward fulfilling your commitment to values. Like business, science is another field that wouldn’t exist without numbers and measurements. Even social sciences create proxy measurements to test hypotheses. Numbers don’t lie. The numbers themselves provide accountability. In relation to our key values and virtues, some measures of success may be obvious while for others we may need to get creative. Here’s a short core values list and an idea for how we could measure them:

Honesty: number of days without telling a lie.

Justice (in the Stoic sense): one altruistic act per month.

Responsibility: minutes spent reading to your kids.

Love: one extraordinary expression of your love for another person per week (e.g. writing a note, buying flowers, not doing that thing you want to do so that they can do the thing they want to do).

Community: invite your neighbors for dinner two times per year

Balance: reduce time working by X% and reinvest it into X activity.

Review

This is the time to check in on your dates and measurements. This is the final and therefore most essential element of accountability. There’s no use in creating timelines and recording data if you don’t review it. Did you miss a ‘deadline’? If so, don’t beat yourself up but figure out why it happened and revise your approach for next time. Did you spend fewer minutes this month exercising? Maybe there was a good reason and therefore no corrective action is required. Life happens. Or maybe it’s a trend. You’ve been spending less time exercising each month for the last three months. Maybe, upon closer inspection, you realize you’re bored with the type of exercise you’ve been doing and you need to change things up.

The review period is the moment for recalibration. Even with the best mechanisms and the right effort, we are always working against the backdrop of change. Our environment changes. The people around us change. We change. Review and reflection are the tools that enable reorientation, so that we can remain on a middle path, characterized by a healthy balance between action and rest and proper alignment with our values.

Correcting imbalance

We should also review the values themselves. When I first started doing this—building a schedule and filling it with mechanisms to work on my values—I had included financial stability as one of my values. It was a time during which I worked on things like learning about investing and looking for ways to reduce expenses. But I realized that I already spend an immense amount of time on money; my career. I also realized that I have natural motivations to work toward the outcome of financial stability. This was an imbalance, so I reviewed it, and corrected it to reinvest that time into my relationships.

“We need to regularly stop and take stock; to sit down and determine within ourselves which things are worth valuing and which things are not; which risks are worth the cost and which are not. Even the most confusing and hurtful aspects of life can be made more tolerable by clear seeing and by choice.” — Epictetus

Core values support life

Stoicism teaches us above all to live in accordance with our virtues and core values. It’s a bit like a field manual for life. Stoicism is an exercise to define what is important so that we can act it out. Often, we know how to turn intentions into actions, but we only do it to earn a salary. When it comes to our relationships, health, integrity, and all that we cherish intellectually, we are ineffective.

We fail to produce results in the areas of life that we value most because we rely on good intentions. We make the mistake of thinking because it’s important to us it will just happen. Rarely do things just happen—at least not consistently. Lack of plans, schedules, measures, and accountability is what leads to at best little bursts of ephemeral motivation and at worst nothing at all. The last tip I’d like to share is to have fun with this. Don’t let the measurements become the goal. The structures and mechanisms described here are meant to support life, not get in the way of it.

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Premeditatio Malorum: A Practice For Resilience

Mar 27, 2022 | Stoicism

Our lives are controlled by external factors. When we fail to anticipate this, we suffer. The ancient Stoics were acutely aware of this. In fact, they developed an epithet for practitioners of Stoicism to keep at arm’s length to remember this crucially important concept: premeditatio malorum. This Latin phrase literally means ‘the pre-meditation of evils’. In more common language, it means anticipating what could go wrong. Given the random nature of the universe, which is entirely indifferent to you and your plans, premeditatio malorum is more than just a phrase. It’s a tactical practice which helps us develop better plans and respond rationally when things don’t go as planned. It’s the deliberate pondering of what could go wrong, but it’s also a firm sense of gratitude for when things go well.

This practice is not meant to foster anxiety or worry. Rather, it’s meant to promote preparedness and resilience against life’s inevitable vicissitudes. Premeditatio malorum is more than just a statement to post on our walls. It’s a practice to undertake before engaging with the external world. It’s not only an attempt to identify obstacles, but also a reminder that we have the inner resources to deal with them. In this post, we’ll explore the Stoic concept of premeditatio malorum by examining its utility for drafting better plans. We’ll discuss how failing to anticipate challenges and malevolence sets us up for unpleasant surprises. When we’re caught off guard, we react with emotion and delay or miss our chance to rebound quickly.

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Negative visualization

Modern Stoics describe premeditatio malorum as a negative visualization exercise. We hear a lot, in sports and performance psychology, for example, about positive visualization. There is some evidence to support the well-established idea that visualizing the process and steps required to succeed in a given activity actually leads to higher likelihood of success. But this is also true for negative visualization. In business, they call this a pre-mortem. Before kicking off a new project or initiative, stakeholders simply imagine all the possible negative outcomes and work backwards to identify the causes of these imagined failures. There’s a reason why major companies spend time and therefore money to do this. It helps them avoid potential pitfalls. It increases the likelihood of success.

As individuals, we can practice Stoic negative visualization for our big projects, too. But we can also practice it on a smaller scale. If someone cuts us off in traffic or interrupts us rudely in a meeting, we only react viscerally because we had failed to remind ourselves beforehand that although most people are not malevolent, people are generally much more preoccupied with themselves than with us. This is also an effective way of managing expectations when it comes to more intimate relationships. In the morning, when we anticipate that our partner’s needs that day may supersede our own, we are less affected when we have to make personal sacrifices for them.

Premeditatio malorum promotes resilience

Whether we employ premeditatio malorum as a formal, perhaps written exercise before embarking on a new endeavor, or whether we practice in silent meditation in the morning to prepare us for the day ahead, it helps us become more resilient. Resilience is not an unwavering fortitude. Rather, it’s the ability to pick ourselves up and get back into the game quickly after a setback. Having plans B, C, and D is a good thing. But it’s even better if we waste no time wallowing in anger or other toxic emotions when something obstructs Plan A. Therefore, anticipating potential negative outcomes reduces our emotional reactions to them because we’ve already experienced them through deliberate anticipation.

I can’t count how many times I looked back on a situation when I got angry or felt personally injured, and realized later that I didn’t actually care that much about what had happened. It was just the surface of my ego reacting because the situation caught me off guard. In retrospect, in the majority of those situations, if I had just entered into the situation with the awareness that not only could something go wrong, but that also I have the inner strength and self-esteem required to deal with it, I would not have reacted. Instead, I would have responded.

The universe is indifferent to your plans

As a more formal exercise, premeditatio malorum, negative visualization, pre-mortem analysis, or whatever you want to call it, leads to more solid plans. Risk is omnipresent and pervasive. Risk, in and of itself, does not lead to failure. The inability or unwillingness to identify risk and implement action items to mitigate or avoid it is what leads to failure. The same goes for the universe’s indifference towards us. We are all somewhat self-centered. That’s normal. Premeditatio malorum helps us poke our head out from our deeply personal passions and desires (both of which are good in moderation) to anticipate that the world doesn’t care about us. The world’s indifference, or in some rare cases, its malevolence towards us, means that it will not cooperate with us and it certainly will not bend to our will. Life happens through us, not to us.

Develop your plans naturally. Don’t let negative visualization obstruct your vision or creativity. But once you’ve created your plans, with all your zeal, ambition, and creativity, take some time to critically analyze them. Try putting yourself in someone else’s shoes. Perhaps imagine how a competitor or potential investor would view your plans. What risks or challenges do your plans present for other people involved? Ask yourself a series of ‘what if?’ questions and develop contingencies. Write a list of assumptions related to your plan and try to challenge each of them. Try to zoom out from your plan, moving out from under the trees and examine the whole forest from above to put your plan into a wider perspective.

Premeditatio malorum fosters gratitude

Practices like these will help you identify some potential obstacles and challenges, but not all of them. The final part of the exercise is recognizing with humility that you did your best to look around every corner, but ultimately, the world is unpredictable. In the end, know with confidence that you’re armed with the recognition that things will be hard, but that you have the inner resources to deal with anything.

Finally, in addition to better plans and more rational responses to unexpected obstacles, the concept of premeditatio malorum teaches us to be grateful for all that is relatively good. Sometimes things do go our way, and for this we should be immensely grateful. Having anticipated challenges and being fortunate enough to have not met them is extra sweet. Having anticipated challenges and then having met and overcome them is even sweeter. Ultimately, it’s a classic case of putting things into perspective. We can view past, present, and future successes as precious because we know that things can and sometimes do go differently.

“Nothing happens to the wise man against his expectation, nor do all things turn out for him as he wished but as he reckoned—and above all he reckoned that something could block his plans.”

— Epictetus

Introduction To Stoicism And Mindfulness

Improve Your Focus With Mindfulness- And Science-Based Protocols

Where Buddhism And Modern Psychology Converge On Mental Wellness

Karma In Buddhism: Sowing The Seeds Of Love

What The Death Of Marcus Aurelius Teaches Us About Life

Zen Meditation: How To Stop And Reflect For Wisdom

Right Mindfulness & Right Concentration Of The Eightfold Path

The Three Jewels Of The Tao: Embracing The Way Of Water

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Thich Nhat Hanh & The Zen Practice Of Stopping

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Interconnection & Its Connection With Stoicism

Jan 23, 2022 | Foundations, Stoicism

Where we find overlap of ideas across cultures and periods of history, we find truth about human nature. We commonly associate interconnection—the notion that we are all fundamentally connected to each other—with Buddhism or other Eastern philosophical traditions. The ancient Greeks and Stoics, too, had their sympatheia, which they described as a cosmic interconnection shared among all past, present and future life forms.

“Meditate often on the interconnectedness and mutual interdependence of all things in the universe […] all things are mutually woven together and therefore have an affinity for each other.”

– Marcus Aurelius

Interconnection in human experience

When we read history and philosophy, we see descriptions of our interconnection as a central component of understanding ourselves, from the ancient Greeks to the Stoics, in Buddhism, Christianity, and virtually all major religions.

In fact, in their study “Shared Virtues: The Convergence of Valued Human Strengths Across Culture and History”, Katherine Dahlsgaard and her colleagues identified six core virtues shared among Buddhism, Christianity, Confucianism, Hinduism, Taoism, and ancient Greek philosophy. Among the six human virtues identified in the study, we find Transcendence, which can be described as the use of compassion, gratitude and hope to experience a larger connection to the universe.

“As a net is made up of a series of ties, so everything in this world is connected by a series of ties. If anyone thinks that the mesh of a net is an independent, isolated thing, he is mistaken. It is called a net because it is made up of a series of interconnected meshes, and each mesh has its place and responsibility in relation to other meshes.”

– Gautama Buddha

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If religion or philosophy is not your north star, you can also find meaningful discussion of interconnection in science. The phrase “six degrees of separation” is popularly used to describe the theory that any one person is connected to any other person on the planet by only six intermediary contacts. Several studies support the concept, including the Small World Project, which showed empirically that people in the United States are indeed separated by an average of just six contacts. Popular Astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson has eloquently described interconnection in a scientific context countless times throughout his career:

“We are all connected; To each other, biologically. To the earth, chemically. To the rest of the universe atomically.”

Stoicism gets misunderstood

When Stoicism is misunderstood, it is often because it is betrayed as a white-knuckled acceptance of all life’s harshness. Just search for the hashtag #Stoicism on Instagram and you’ll likely find imagery of warriors and men carved from stone. While Stoicism does offer an immense utility when it comes to dealing with life’s hardships, it also celebrates life’s natural beauty and wonder.

Stoicism is not just about inner fortitude. It is also a social philosophy, in which the interconnection of all life is integral to understanding oneself. It teaches us to avoid feverish aversion and discard strong attachment to people.

The Stoics inherited and built upon many ideas from the ancient Athenian philosophers like Socrates, Aristotle and Plato. The Stoics would elaborate upon their predecessors’ ideas and create ethical theories, such as oikeiosis. Simply put, oikeiosis describes the idea that we ought to extend kindness to everyone just as we would to our own loved ones. Stoics like Hierocles outlined how we should extend oikeiosis in gradually widening circles, starting with ourselves, moving out through our community, and gradually reaching the outer circles of the human race.

Understanding oneself is essential in Stoicism. It’s awfully hard to apply virtues like Justice and Wisdom if you don’t know yourself intimately and honestly. We are so focused inward on our own experiences that we forget to open our eyes to the people around us going through the exact same things. They say reading allows the reader to learn from other people’s experiences and mistakes without actually having to go through them. In this way, recognizing and observing interconnection and shared experience with other people is similar to reading. Other people have, are currently, and will in the future experience the same ups and downs as you. You can learn from this.

Emotional interconnection

In his book, Stillness Is The Key, Ryan Holiday outlines emotional interconnection. No matter what our background or circumstances, we’ve all known the joy of play or the fear of judgment. The full spectrum of emotions is a shared human experience. Recognizing this brings us closer to one another. Sure, some people are relatively more fortunate than others in economic status or in health. But, it’s important to remember that human experience is relative. One person’s worst day is their worst day, it’s as simple as that.

The Stoics and Buddhists also overlap on the idea that we share a lot of experience with animals. Our sense of exceptionalism only exists in comparison to animals, but this idea doesn’t serve us to be better people. Realizing that we humans are not that different from animals allows us to stay humble and even learn from the nature of the animal kingdom.

Dr. Rick Hanson, PhD is an expert on positive neuroplasticity, founder of the Wellspring Institute for Neuroscience and Contemplative Wisdom, and a New York Times best-selling author. His book subjects are often a marriage of Buddhist wisdom and neuroscience. He acknowledges the interconnection between humans and animals from both a scientific and a Buddhist perspective in his book Neurodharma: New Science, Ancient Wisdom and Seven Practices of the Highest Happiness:

“[…] not surprisingly, the neural hardware that enables our human version of hearing and seeing, learning and wanting, is present in similar forms in the inch-long brain of a squirrel.”

The Earth and stars connect us

Interconnection also exists in a physical, non-sentient way. Ryan Holiday also notes in Stillness Is The Key that much like emotional interconnection, we all share a lot of physical connection. He provides the example of the moon. Go outside tonight and look at the moon. It is the same moon that Ghandi or Seneca looked upon before us. It is the same moon that you looked at as a child. The same goes for the air we breathe, the water we drink, and the earth we stand upon—we share them all timelessly.

I have no practical takeaways to leave you with. I simply hope that this helps to rekindle your sense of interconnection with others. One must look outward to truly understand oneself, and we must truly understand ourselves to carry out our designs for a better world.

“We are all strands in a long rope that stretches back countless generations and ties together every person in every country on every continent. We are all thinking and feeling the same things, we are all made of and motivated by the same things; we are all stardust. And no one needs this understanding more than the ambitious or the creative, since they live so much in their own heads and in their own bubble.”

– Ryan Holiday

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Antipater is a lesser-known Stoic, yet he was head of the school during a period that saw Stoicism extend to public life. Stoic philosophers were sent on diplomatic missions. Some advised kings. But Antipater’s contributions brought Stoicism closer to home. He was...

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How To Practice The Virtue Of Temperance In Stoicism

Dec 26, 2021 | Balance, Stoicism

They say sitting is the new smoking. But how can this be? Our bodies are highly evolved survival machines. We emerged as the dominant species on this planet not in small part because we can run long distances. We can maneuver through and manipulate our environment in sophisticated ways. Surely our bodies can handle sitting in a chair. Of course, the act of resting our asses on a seat is not harmful. It’s only harmful when we sit for eight, ten, even fourteen hours a day. This is excessive. This is the opposite of the virtue of temperance.

What is temperance in Stoicism?

The ancient Stoics gave us their 4 Stoic Virtues, one of which is temperance. The Stoics describe temperance as moderation and active resistance against anything that is harmful in excess. Essentially, temperance is balance.

I’d like to take a deep dive into the virtue of temperance, because finding balance in life is a central pursuit of this blog. In this article, I’ll attempt to share practical tips and strategies for applying temperance to areas of life that I feel are susceptible to harmful excess: decision making, time management, and work life balance.

What did the Stoics say about temperance?

In a passage of Meditations about dealing with other peoples’ shamelessness, Marcus Aurelius wrote:

“What qualities has nature given us to counter that defect? As an antidote to unkindness it gave us kindness. And other qualities to balance other flaws.”

He’s saying that there are always two sides of every coin. Exercising the virtue of temperance can be as simple as looking to the opposite of what’s excessive. Is there too much inactivity in your life because of your office job? The simple antidote is the opposite: exercise. Do you work too hard? The simple antidote is true, mindful rest.

How to practice the virtue of temperance

Two birds with one stone: practicing temperance with time management

Our mortality is both the source of life’s greatest fears and life’s greatest beauty. Our limited time on earth is a defining human characteristic that we all share. We must not squander our time with cheap and frivolous entertainment, nor can we allow the sharp edge of productivity to shave it all away.

This is an incredibly difficult balance to strike—one that requires temperance.

Capitalism is an effective testing and training ground for one’s self-actualization, but we all know there are more important areas of life that cannot be measured by market value: connection with others, quiet time to reflect, creativity without a desired material outcome, etc.

One strategy that I use in an attempt to marry my desire to be successful with my desire to live a mindful and healthy life is finding activities that support both goals simultaneously. I used to love playing organized sports, even as an adult. I also used to love lifting weights at the gym. As my work responsibilities grew (less free time) and my cost of living increased suddenly (greater expenses) when I moved to a very expensive city, I had to make changes to mitigate these losses. I also noticed that my office job was creating an imbalance in terms of excessive time spent indoors. I used to run occasionally, but just as a sort of necessary chore of maintaining cardiovascular fitness.

Stack habits and behaviors to serve multiple purposes

Here, I found myself with the following requirements at the same time: recreational competition, physical exercise, saving money, and more fresh air. So, I decided to become a trail runner to meet all of these needs simultaneously. I realized that by signing up for some tough long-distance trail races, I was creating a fun challenge for myself in a competitive sport, while saving money and gaining more time outdoors by saying goodbye to the gym.

The Mindful Stoic blog is another example of this ‘killing two birds’ methodology, albeit one that I had not considered when I started the blog.

The company I work for places a very high value on writing skills. When we have new ideas, we always develop and present them in writing. Although the content and style of writing is very different between this blog and my day job, I am most likely practicing the written word a lot more than my colleagues who don’t own and operate a blog as a hobby.

Also, writing about mindfulness and Stoicism helps me keep these practices top of mind. Writing about these practices not only provides me with a creative outlet, but it’s also helped them really take root in my life.

The ‘killing-two-birds method’ tenets

The activity should meet or support multiple needs or objectives at one time.
The activity must be done for the love of the activity itself.
If there is a measurable outcome, you should still ‘win’ even if the outcome is not successful.
The activity should allow you to get better at something you can use in other areas of life.

Designing our leisure activities and hobbies in this way allows us to practice temperance when it comes to managing our finite time and balancing ambition with mindful living.

Sure, with enough discipline and habit building, we could spend all of our waking hours working, studying and striving toward some material end. But, there’s more to being human than producing and getting rewarded for it on the market. So, finding healthy hobbies that we truly love doing for the sake of it, but with a little flavor of useful support in other areas of life, is one way to maximize our time.

How to practice the virtue of temperance with decision making

A simple technique for practicing temperance regarding difficult decisions is to quickly identify at least one alternative. For any decision that involves internal conflict, try to think of at least one better alternative early in the process, leaving you with at least two options.

This technique is especially helpful when it comes to cravings or decisions motivated by fatigue or passivity. Here’s a hypothetical situation to help illustrate: after a long day of work, you discover that food in the fridge is in low supply. The idea of going to the nearest fast food restaurant strikes you, but you also know it is not a healthy option. Now is the moment to quickly identify an alternative. You could also go to the grocery store and pick up something quick and easy to prepare. The grocery store option will be cheaper and healthier.

Quickly identifying an alternative does something significant. Instead of allowing your tired mind to wrestle with the sole option of satisfying fast food, your brain now has another outlet. Urges and temptations are most powerful when there are no other options presented, or when the other options don’t satisfy the underlying need. This approach allows us to practice temperance when it comes to all kinds of conflicting decisions.

There is always a middle path

Here are a few more examples of identifying alternatives to practice temperance with decision making:

I’m incredibly tired today, so exercising is probably not a good idea.

Some stretching or yoga will do the trick.

These t-shirts have a buy-2-get-1-free deal.

One is cheaper than two, and I really only need one.

I wonder if I should cut carbs entirely from my diet, but I’ve found conflicting research.

Cutting down on carbs by 40-50% is a sensible compromise.

I’ve been presented with an interesting investment idea, but I’m worried I’ll lose my money.

Define your risk tolerance, i.e. how much money you can tolerate losing, and invest only that much.

I should eat less sugar.

Make a rule for yourself. Decide that you simply will not eat products with more than 20g of sugar per 100g serving.

The powerful aftereffect that accompanies this technique is that by choosing the more positive alternative, sometimes we gain a second wind and end up snowballing with the good behavior. To take the above exercise example, you may successfully negotiate some stretching rather than sitting on the couch, and you may end up feeling great doing the stretching to the point that you regain the desire to exercise more rigorously.

At the very least, you will feel good about having done something, leaving you in a better mood and therefore in a better mindset for the following day. To take the above investing example, you have a zero percent chance of profiting by doing nothing, but by taking a calculated risk, you can reap the rewards if there is a positive return and only suffer a tolerable loss if the return is negative.

Practicing the virtue of temperance with work-life balance

Work life balance has become somewhat of a cliché topic. But, an idea only becomes a cliché if it’s repeated in the culture. If it’s repeated in the culture, then there’s undoubtedly some truth or value behind it. Finding balance in all areas of life is a central theme of this blog, and work life balance is certainly a major part of that.

We all know someone who suffers in life because they let fear or plain laziness prevent them from working and they struggle to meet their needs.

Conversely, we all know someone who works too hard and then suffers in their relationships or health. We must practice the virtue of temperance by balancing between excessive work and excessive passivity.

Work is not just about monetary gain, either. When done in correct proportions and environments, work can provide a sense of pride, challenges that lead to personal growth, and some mental stimulus that keeps our brains healthy.

Here are some practices I find helpful for striking a balance between work and mindful living:

Work life balance tenets

You must accept the fact that you will never finish. There will always be work left undone at the end of the day. You need to be able to embrace this and shut off at the day’s end. Related article: How To Switch Off After Work.
Be wary of technology and turn it off. My grandfather was an incredibly hard worker. But, he never had to contend with email at any hour in any place.
Don’t compare yourself to others and don’t place value on working long hours. Strive to be more efficient than your competition and don’t worry if it appears as if you’re working less.
Out of sight out of mind. Place work related objects in a drawer, closet or separate room at the end of the day.
Acknowledge that a job that’s 100% enjoyable is practically non-existent. The grass is not always greener on the other side, so always attempt to find the good in what you do, accept and overcome the bad before making major changes.
Bring structure and organization to your life outside of work. You have project trackers, schedules, and monthly reviews for your work. But, do you have such mechanisms for your family life? We often say ‘I should spend more time with family’, but how often do we apply our organizational and time management skills to ensure that quality time actually happens? Related article: Your Core Values: Turning Good Intentions Into Good Results
Be acutely aware of the distinction between rest and work. When you begin working, say to yourself ‘now I am working’. When you finish work, say to yourself ‘now I am resting’. All too often we transition from work to rest mindlessly, allowing our work energy and stress to follow us when it should be left where it belongs. Mindfulness is incredibly simple yet powerful.

Final thoughts

Temperance, moderation, and balance are elusive. You can find philosophy and religion attempting to guide people to a middle path all throughout history. Any time we see consistency across cultures and throughout history when it comes to ideas, it’s a good indication that the idea is worth exploring.

I’ve attempted here to write practically about practicing the Stoic virtue of temperance with time management, decision making, and work life balance. I chose these three areas because I feel they lend themselves to the magnetism, often created by culture, that pulls us away from the middle path. But, these are not the only areas in which the virtue of temperance is needed.

Look for any excess in your life and find ways of applying the virtue of temperance to counterbalance it. Take some time to identify these areas of excess, ideally on paper in a journal, and come up with your own strategies and techniques. The world is a chaotic and evolving place to navigate, but the ability to walk a straight line, never losing sight of the middle path, is certainly an advantage that we should afford to ourselves.

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Acceptance is not resignation. The Stoic practice called The Art of Acquiescence teaches us to accept things that are beyond our control rather than fighting them. It is not, however, passive acceptance. It is not giving up.
— the mindful stoic (@themindfulstoic) January 30, 2024

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Mindfulness is always now. The reality of your life is always now and to realize this, and experience it, can be liberating.
— the mindful stoic (@themindfulstoic) January 26, 2024