Stoicism is misunderstood. Unlike a common usage of the word ‘stoic’, Stoicism is not an emotionless, white-knuckled bearing of hardships. So, what is Stoicism? How can you practice Stoicism in daily life? Stoicism is not just a philosophy. It’s an experiential practice. It’s a path to a meaningful and happy life, guided by values and virtues, and aimed at making the world a better place. In this article, we’ll define Stoicism for those new to the philosophy and attempt to provide insights on how to start practicing Stoicism for anyone looking to build on their Stoic practices. 

I believe that author Nassim Nicholas Taleb defines Stoicism well in this quote:

“A Stoic is someone who transforms fear into prudence, pain into transformation, mistakes into initiation, and desire into undertaking.” 

— N.N.Taleb

Click the links below to navigate to specific sections or keep scrolling to read the full article:

1. What is Stoicism?
2. How to practice Stoicism using the Four Stoic Virtues
3. Stoicism in modern times
4. The Dichotomy of Control
5. Stoicism is knowing yourself
6. Focus on the essential
7. The love of fate (amor fati)
8. How to practice Stoicism: 12 Stoic practices

What is Stoicism?

Stoicism is an ancient philosophy that flourished in the Greek and Roman worlds until around the 3rd century AD. It placed virtue as the highest good, taught the need to temper desire for pleasure, wealth, and status, and was widely accessible. It has stood the test of time, thanks in large part to the written works of famous Stoics like Marcus Aurelius, the Roman Emperor and philosopher who had Stoicism at his side while he led the Roman empire through war and plague. He is known as the last of the Five Good Emperors, presiding over the last years of the Pax Romana era of Roman history, remembered for its relative peace and stability.

Epictetus—born a slave and crippled in early age—would use his exploration of philosophy to eventually emancipate himself and found his own school of Stoicism in Rome, which would influence the thoughts and actions of the most powerful men in the world, including Marcus Aurelius. Epictetus’ Discourses and Marcus Aurelius’ Meditations remain bedrock literature in Stoicism and their utility and wisdom have not been lost on readers of today.

Stoicism is not just a set of beliefs or ethical claims. It’s a way of living, involving consistent training and practice, and incorporating the practice of logic, contemplation on the finite nature of life, and the use of core values to guide one’s actions.

Stoicism directly acknowledges the chaotic nature of the world, namely interpersonal struggle. It has much to teach us about being socially courageous and how to deal with difficult people. It teaches us to embrace and prepare for the unexpected, but it’s not all about making moves and getting things done, as it has profound offerings on compassion, greater good, and inner stillness.

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How to practice Stoicism using the Four Stoic Virtues

One simple yet effective way to begin practicing Stoicism is to familiarize yourself with the Four Stoic Virtues and start using them to frame your decisions and actions. Here’s a succinct overview of my practical interpretation of the Four Stoic Cardinal Virtues:

1. Courage: The mitigation and, ultimately, the acceptance of risk, and doing the right thing even if it means being misunderstood.
2. Wisdom: We plant the seeds of the virtue of wisdom by reading, studying, and challenging beliefs, but wisdom only blossoms when it manifests itself in the form of actions.
3. Temperance: The Stoic virtue of temperance is the resistance against desire and excess. Temperance is a balance between pleasure and pain.
4. Justice: The Stoic virtue of justice teaches us to be courageous, wise, and tempered so that we can be of service to others. It’s about making the world a better place.

For an in-depth exploration of the Four Stoic Virtues and how to start practicing Stoicism with them as your foundation, check out our article How To Practice Stoicism: The Four Stoic Virtues.

Stoicism in modern times

Many great thinkers have read, cited, and used Stoic philosophy since Roman times. From Walt Whitman, Ambrose Pierce, to Ralph Waldo Emerson, Stoicism has been on the nightstand of abounding leaders who have shaped society and culture as we know it today. The contemporary writer and speaker Ryan Holiday has done wonders through his books like The Obstacle Is The Way and Courage Is Calling to popularize Stoicism in recent years. His large following includes ordinary people like you and me as well as athletes, business leaders, and celebrities like actor Mathew McConaughey and singer-songwriter Camila Cabello. 

In many respects, Stoic philosophy is the root of modern Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT). The founder of CBT, Aaron Beck, was very much influenced by the Stoics. Modern psychotherapeutic CBT focuses on the cognitive and behavioral aspects of mental health. Change your thoughts (attitudes on life) and then change your behavior (actions).

The Dichotomy of Control

One of the most important Stoic practices is the acknowledgement that there are many circumstances in life over which we have no control. In Stoicism, this is known as the Dichotomy of Control, which is a simple concept, but one that’s incredibly useful to keep top of mind in daily life. The Dichotomy of Control can be summarized crudely like this: 

If it is within your control, then do all you can with it. If it is not within your control, then grant no time or energy to it. 

A practicing Stoic believes that we do have control over how we react to the inevitable problems that life invariably throws our way—that fundamentally, our attitude towards life determines the quality of our lives. A practicing Stoic does their best to improve their circumstances and the well-being of others, but lets go of the outcome of their actions. 

“Nothing is unrealistic or realistic; nothing good or evil. There is only what we think of any given situation. We create our own reality.”

— Marcus Aurelius

“The meaning of things lies not in the things themselves, but in our attitude towards them.”

 — Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

Before a Stoic does anything they say, ‘I’ll do this unless something happens to prevent it.’ In life, shit happens! Stoicism teaches us to let go of the outcome of our actions. It’s best to accept reality with equanimity, rather than resisting what is. 

Stoicism is knowing yourself

The Stoics were inspired by Socrates, and if you were to sum up the teachings of Socrates in two words they would be, ‘Know yourself!’ Know what’s important to you, what values you wish to embody in your life. Seek clarity and simplicity in your life. If you want equanimity or peace of mind in your life, don’t be distracted by outside events or the opinions of others. Of course, it takes a lot of self-examination to know what kind of life you wish to live and what will bring meaning to your life.

You need to develop a sense of clarity; to know who you are, what’s important to you, and then have the courage to live it. If you live like this, you will achieve inner stillness. We also need to be curious about what really motivates us to make certain decisions and life choices. Are we really acting from our own free will, or are our emotional buttons simply being pressed by outside forces?

There are a couple of things that can get in your way and destroy your peace of mind. One is second-guessing yourself. ‘Maybe, I should have done this or that.’ You can drive yourself nuts this way. If you make a mistake, fine. The only important thing is what you do next. The second hindrance to tranquility and inner stillness is comparing yourself to others. ‘But, so and so is doing this.’ Good for them! Stay on your own path. Trust your intuition. Be confident that you are on the right path and have the courage to stay the course.

Focus on the essential

Stay focused. Don’t allow yourself to become distracted by extraneous matters. You don’t need to know everything. You don’t need to give a rat’s ass about most of the shit that everyone is talking about in our culture. The Stoic virtue of Wisdom is not about acquiring as much knowledge as possible, nor is it about having useful knowledge that only benefits you. True wisdom is the ability to remain flexible rather than consistent with your opinions and beliefs so that you can serve to make the world a better place.

Say Yes to your life

We need to say ‘yes’ to our own lives, no matter what the circumstances. The most moving example of saying yes is in Viktor Frankl’s book Man’s Search for Meaning. Frankl and others like him faced life in the concentration camps in Nazi Germany. They somehow survived, but more remarkably, they were able to create a positive experience out of what life had handed them. They were able to find personal meaning and growth—and a way of seeing the world that created value from the most horrific experience possible. Frankl writes:

“The experiences of camp life show that a man does have a choice of action. They were enough examples, often of a heroic nature, which proved that apathy could be overcome, irritability suppressed. Man can preserve a vestige of spiritual freedom, of independence of mind, even in such terrible conditions of psychic and physical stress. 

We who lived in the camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken away from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s way, the way in which a man accepts his fate, and all the suffering that it entails, the way in which he takes up his cross, gives him ample opportunity, even in the most difficult circumstances, to add a deeper meaning to life.”

— Viktor Frankl

The love of fate

The Stoics had several epithets that serve as reminders of core concepts. One such phrase is ‘amor fati’. These two Latin words translate to ‘the love of fate’. ‘Love’ is the operative word here. It’s not a begrudging acceptance of fate, but a clear and manifest embrace of the uncertain, of some degree of unmitigable risk. It certainly doesn’t mean shying away from fate—saying no to anything that makes us uncomfortable or vulnerable. 

We can’t control the world, but we can control our reactions to it. Saying yes to your world, the good and the bad, not only reduces fear, but also creates meaning in our lives. Some may argue that if we say yes to everything, then we are accepting everything. If we are accepting everything, then we won’t act to change things that are wrong with the world. However, saying yes means taking positive action. Saying no means giving up. It is only when we can see the possibility for change that we can work to affect change. We can say no to the situation as it is, but yes to the possibility for the growth it offers. If you believe that a situation in your life is hopeless, you simply sit back and let yourself be destroyed. 

Saying yes does not mean giving up. Saying yes means getting up and acting on your belief that you can create meaning and purpose in whatever life hands you. It means channeling resources to find healthy, constructive ways to deal with adverse situations. It means acting out of strength, not weakness. It means having the flexibility necessary to look at many options and choose ones that enhance growth. It does not mean giving up.

Related article: How To Practice Amor Fati

How to practice Stoicism: 12 Stoic practices

1. Practice gratitude. Count your blessings every day and especially before you go to bed at night. Practice an attitude of abundance instead of a mentality of scarcity. Be grateful for life itself and maintain a healthy awareness that it won’t last forever. 

“You could leave life right now. Let that determine what you do and say and think.”

— Marcus Aurelius

2. Accept and move on. There’s a concept in Stoicism called The Art of Acquiescence. It teaches us that we must accept hardship, loss, and failure, because only then can we find a way forward with clearer vision. Check out our article Master The Art Of Acquiescence For Resilience & Perspective for more on this.

3. Remember your comebacks. In the face of adversity, don’t say to yourself, ‘Look at this person, they’re overcoming insurmountable odds!’ Instead, remember the times when you, yourself overcame great adversity in your own life.

4. Let your thoughts and actions serve as tiny, incremental ‘votes’ for the kind of world you want to live in.

5. Take responsibility for your own life. Do not blame anyone or anything else for your problems. It’s a waste of time and energy and will do nothing to help you move past obstacles.

6. Do your best every day. Give every task your best shot and your full and undivided attention. Mindfulness really helps with this. Do not perform a task as a means to an end—as a stepping stone towards something else—give it your full attention and concentration, no matter how seemingly mundane or uncomfortable the task may be. 

7. Stop complaining. We live in a moan-and-groan society. Be aware of all the negativity and complaining around you and be especially mindful of the internal complaining that goes on within you throughout your day.

Stoic practices for resilience

8. Easy decisions, hard life. Hard decisions, easy life. Hard work and self-discipline pay off in the long run. Do not be afraid to make uncomfortable, frightening or bold life choices. Don’t look for shortcuts in your life.

9. Be prepared, alert, and ready for when things go wrong. Premeditatio malorum is the Latin phase used to label this Stoic practice, which means ‘premeditation of evils’. This is risk assessment and risk mitigation. It’s also about readiness, as Epictetus describes in this passage from The Manual: A Philosopher’s Guide to Life:

During a voyage, when the ship is anchored and you go ashore for supplies, you may amuse yourself with picking up seashells and pretty stones along the way, but keep your thoughts attuned on the ship, keeping alert to the captain’s call. You may need to drop your treasures and run back to the boat at any time. Likewise in life, remain steadfast in pursuing your mission, always willing to shed distractions.

10. No matter how difficult your life circumstances may be, do not give into despair. Every moment of every day, we have a multitude of choices. We must look for these choices. An unexamined life is not worth living. We may not be able to control the many negative thoughts and emotions that arise within us. However, we can choose to act despite these fears, emotions, and anxieties. If we are afraid to try something new that may lead us to a better life, we can feel the fear and do it anyway.

11. Frame your thoughts and actions through a wider lens. Stoicism is not about improving yourself for the sake of it. It’s about making the world a better place. Embedding altruism and compassion into your goals makes them much more likely to come to fruition. Contemplate how we’re all fundamentally connected and keep your perspective as large as possible. For more on this, check out our article Interconnection & Its Connection With Stoicism.

12. Reflect, review, track and measure. To really bring together all the elements of Stoicism described here, we need to remove the good intentions and get specific and measurable about our core values. Meditation is an excellent means of reflecting and keeping a diary or journal helps to bring structure and accountability to your practice.

Meditate to sustain your Stoic practices

Anyone who has tried meditation realizes just how much we do not control our own thoughts and emotions. They seemingly arise at will. However, we do control our actions. We can act no matter what our negative, self-defeating thoughts and our emotions are telling us. This is the road to freedom, to taking better control of your life. And yes, meditation does help, because it helps us identify and observe with equanimity our thoughts and emotions that seem to be whipping us around like a small boat in a storm. We can begin to sit quietly until the storm has passed, then, like a good Stoic, take positive action.

To learn more about Stoic practices and how to practice Stoicism in your life today, check out our curated collection of the best books on Stoicism. 

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The ancient Stoics emphasized the need to reflect at the end of the day and ask ourselves constructive questions about what went well and what did not. But how can we measure the success of a day? By which criteria are we defining good days and bad days? And since each day constitutes a slice of life itself, how can we extrapolate and scale this assessment to our measures of personal success for life in general? Before you can even begin to reflect on your day like a Stoic, you need to know your measures of success. We’ll discuss different measures of success and provide some practical tips on how to practice Stoic daily reflection. 

“Allow not sleep to close your wearied eyes,

Until you have reckoned up each daytime deed:

‘Where did I go wrong? What did I do? And what duty’s left undone?’

From first to last review your acts and then

Reprove yourself for wretched [or cowardly] acts, but rejoice in those done well.”

 

– Epictetus

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Traditional measures of success

We’re all familiar with traditional measures of success. Job titles, monetary wealth, and happiness are common ones. Are they good measures of success? Perhaps. It depends on your values.

This article will focus on a Stoic definition of success, not because it is inherently more important, but because it is inherently less prevalent than traditional definitions of success. 

Measuring your personal success by job title or wealth, for example, is baked into modern society. It’s inescapable. If you have a job, then you by default have accountability. You have people and mechanisms in place to hold you accountable and ensure you’re performing to their standards. You have annual performance reviews. The entire capitalist system is designed to reward you based on the perceived value of what you bring to the market. We already spend so much of our lives at work, so let’s not fill our personal time assessing and tracking work-related performance.

Who’s there to measure your personal success? Who’s there to keep you accountable for your actions—the steps you take, forward or backward, to uphold what you believe is truly important? The answer is no one but yourself. 

How do Stoics define success?

Stoic definitions of success are unconventional. Stoicism is all about knowing who you are, so that you can act in accordance with your values and ultimately make the world a better place. The 4 Stoic virtues—Justice, Wisdom, Temperance, and Courage—are immensely useful for guiding your actions and informing your values. They have endured as guiding principles for good reason, and you can draw upon them to clarify your decisions  in nearly any situation. But you are unique. You have dreams and aspirations and obligations to juggle. This is why it’s useful to define your own values and learn how to measure them during your Stoic daily reflection. 

Measures of success need to be just that: measurable. If you can’t quantify and track it, it’s fairly hard to improve it.

Here are some ways to measure your success when you sit down to practice Stoic daily reflection:

• Hours of quality time spent with family
• Hours of quality sleep
• Minutes spent meditating 
• Number of mindful responses to difficult or frustrating situations
• Minutes spent exercising 
• Time spent truly listening to others
• Number of hugs or other signs of intimacy
• Number of healthy meals 
• Instances where you felt fear and acted despite it
• Number of acts of compassion 
• Number of pages read (here are some of our favorites books on Stoicism)

Stoic reflection questions

It may not always be feasible or practical to literally track metrics like these. They are useful for creating some accountability for recurring values or behaviors you’d like to display more consistently. But we don’t want to turn our Stoic daily reflection into a mechanical chore of pouring over numbers. The ancient Stoics were writers. Marcus Aurelius’ Meditations was literally his personal journal. It was never meant to be published. 

Writing your thoughts down at the end of the day in honest reflection is a powerful tool. Writing has an almost magical ability to turn thoughts into reality. It clarifies your thinking and allows you to review, edit, and plan in a way that thinking without a pen and paper simply does not. 

Here are some questions to serve as prompts to help your daily Stoic reflection: 

• Did I act in contradiction to my values? If yes, why? How will I prevent this in the future?
• Was I honest to others and to myself?  
• Did I do anything to make the world a better place in any way? 
• Did I handle obstacles with calm and grace? 
• What are my plans for tomorrow? What are the potential obstacles that could stand in the way? How can I avoid or prevent those obstacles? Premeditatio malorum
• Was I able to resist desires and temptations? 
• Did I have an opportunity to face a fear? How did I respond to this?
• Did my words promote peace and reconciliation? Were they in harmony with my values?

How do Stoics define success?

Any Stoic practice of reflection should end with a gratitude practice. The Stoics had their now-famous phrase Memento mori (Latin for ‘remember you will die’). This is not meant to send you into a downward spiral of morbid despair. Instead, it’s meant to renew your excitement for life today. Remind yourself that this present moment is precious. Make a mental or written list of things you were grateful for today. 

Your intention in the morning should be to neglect none of your values. If you can perform at least one positive action in relation to each value, then perhaps that day can be considered a good one. The Stoic practice of daily reflection requires a mid-day check in. Often our days contain distractions and conflicting priorities. It’s important to pause during the day and ask yourself how well you’re upholding your values. This gives you the opportunity to course-correct if things aren’t going well. 

Acting in accordance with our true values and Stoic virtues should be integral to our own measure of personal success. Make this easy to remember by boiling down your values into keywords. Use these keywords as memory cues to aid your daily assessment and reflection.

Finally, don’t be too hard on yourself. The ultimate goal of Stoicism and Stoic daily reflection is to strengthen yourself so that you can help others. It’s a bit of a cliche, but one worth repeating here: You can’t truly love others unless you love yourself first. You will have unbalanced days. But never give up, for it is the act of striving for greatness and falling short that adds meaning and distinction to life.

“It is not by muscle, speed, or physical dexterity that great things are achieved, but by reflection, force of character, and judgment.”

 – Marcus Tullius Cicero

Looking to begin the Stoic art of journaling?

Here are some recommended journals: 

• Handmade, leather-bound journal from an independent artisan with the inscription “Hardships often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny”
• Handmade, leather-bound journal from an independent artisan with the inscription “Nevertheless, she persisted”
• The Daily Stoic Journal by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman
• Handmade, leather-bound  journal from an independent artisan with the inscription “But still, I rise”
• The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck Journal by Mark Manson
• The Bullet Journal Method by Ryder Carroll