Ambitious Habit Energy & Finding Rest Anywhere

Ambitious Habit Energy & Finding Rest Anywhere

Thich Nhat Hanh, Zen Buddhist monk and renowned peace activist, writes about habit energy, describing it as the habitual chasing after the future in our thoughts—a blockage of our ability to be in the present moment. If you have ambitions, dreams or aspire to change yourself in any way, then you may have recognized that doing, achieving and accomplishing becomes habitual. Our action-based thoughts, constantly painting themselves with broad strokes on a future canvas, can be as habitual as breathing. They are so habitual that even in our down time we feel as though we should be doing something productive.

Yet we know we need to rest. We know the importance of being present, for the opposite of this is a whirlwind in which life passes us by. We know our work will benefit from stillness. But how can we find it? How can we rest and take stock of the present moment with so much left to be done? This post serves to help us recognize our ambitious habit energy for what it is and help us find moments of true rest in what would first appear as unlikely moments. 

 

“Habit energy pushes us to run, to always be doing something, to be lost in thoughts of the past or the future and to blame others for our suffering. And that energy does not allow us to be peaceful and happy in the present moment.

Thich Nhat Hanh 

 

Ambitious habit energy

 

Have you ever spent an entire day or more at sea? If so, then you’ll recall that when you returned to dry land and climbed under the sheets to sleep that night, even many hours removed from the ocean, you could still feel the melodic rocking of the boat against the swelling waves. Your whole body felt these subtle rocking sensations even though you were lying in your stable bed. Our ambitious habit energy is like this. Long after our work is done or long before it begins, we feel the tension and struggle of getting things done. We can observe this ever-present tension in our bodies even if we are completely still. 

Ambitious habit energy

I don’t care if you have David Goggins-like work ethic, you need to rest and you know your work will be more precise for it. Watching TV, reading a novel or sleeping are forms of rest, but not the kind of rest we’re discussing here. In all those activities, we are either ignoring or suppressing the autopilot tension of our ambitious state. To truly rest, we need to sit in silence. We need to sit with the sole intention of resting. Only with this deliberate and directed rest can we say to ourselves, ‘I’m turning off my auto-pilot of getting shit done for the day, and now I’m here to rest’. Then, we can observe the tension in our bodies and begin to let go. 

 

The first step is admitting you have a problem habit

 

We’ve all heard of, known someone, or perhaps even experienced ourselves a battle with substance abuse. And anyone with the strength and support to have recovered knows that the first step toward recovery is admitting. Addictions have a lot in common with habits. They both modify the neural pathways in the brain. Thomas Oppong writes, in his article The Neuroscience of Change: How to Change Your Brain to Create Better Habits:

Habits are found in an area of your brain called the basal ganglia. The more often you perform an action or behave a certain way, the more it is physically wired into your brain. This amazing adaptive quality of your brain is known as neuroplasticity. Your brain forms neuronal connections based on what you do repeatedly in your life—both good and bad.

Habits drive our behaviour. The bad ones force our bodies into situations that the conscious mind knows is not good for us. Constantly doing, constantly focusing on outcomes is very much a habit. We first need to recognize it as such. You might be thinking, ‘but being ambitious is a good thing’. Is it a good thing when we’re trying to spend time with our family? Is it a good time when we’re trying to sleep? 

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Mindfulness for rest

Ardent drive can be a good habit for putting money in the bank, but I think we would all agree there is a time and place for it. The problem is that the humming of our engines resounds into our times of rest. We’ve all been at the dinner table with friends or family and let our mind scurry ahead to the following day’s task list. We should strive to be there fully, not just for them, but for ourselves as well. Life is short. Life is full of beauty. We should learn to be there completely to absorb and appreciate it all. Being there for life is just one argument for learning to fold our ‘doing mode’ neatly away; we haven’t even touched upon our physical and mental health. 

“Let us train to live each moment of our daily life deeply. That is why I like to define mindfulness as the energy that helps us to be there 100 percent. It is the energy of your true presence.”

– Thich Nhat Hanh

Sitting in meditation each day, even if for only five minutes, is the optimal time and place to rest. This is the moment to notice bodily tension and let go of it. This is the time to allow yourself to stop gripping and grasping. Be like a stone naturally sinking to the bottom of a riverbed, with no particular influence or agenda, and eventually resting at its final destination while the universe flows externally overhead. Meditation is the ideal time to rest, but we don’t walk around all day with our meditation cushion and incense in tow, now do we? 

The power of cues

We need to train ourselves to see the multitude of ordinary moments in our daily lives that present opportunities for a moment of rest. Not only should we practice recognizing these precious moments for rest so as not to squander them, but we should also associate cues with them, so that they become more automatic—more habitual, much like our pervasive desire to get shit done. 

Reversing habit energy

Charles Duhigg, author of the bestselling book The Power of Habit, based much of his work on a simple and scientifically proven concept: the habit loop. The habit loop describes the behavior pattern of any habit. It starts with a cue, followed by an action or routine, followed by a reward. The first step to changing or acquiring a new habit is identifying the cue. What if we could designate cues to pull us back into the present moment? 

Thich Nhat Hanh speaks of washing the dishes as an ordinary task, which if undertaken with the intent to be mindful can be quite relaxing. The thought of turning an unpleasant task into a pleasant one with just some mindful concentration struck me. I began practicing mindful dishwashing, and with time, I began to associate the dishes with slow, restful movement. Gradually, I began to expand this practice to handwashing and showering. One day I suddenly realized that water in general was beginning to serve me as a cue to be mindful. Even drinking a glass of water is now a firmly rooted reminder for me to pause, take a breath, and connect with the present. 

Reversing ambitious habit energy

Hanh has also written much on the subject of mindful walking. Again, I heeded his advice and began practicing mindful walking as often as possible (this can be a hard habit to acquire because we have spent so much of our lives walking with our minds full, so be patient with yourself). Gradually, I began to associate walking with slowing down, connecting with my surroundings. It began on walks for the sake of walking, but with more practice I began to walk mindfully even on my way to a meeting or heading to the kitchen for a snack. Water and walking. These became my cues to take a few seconds to check in and to rest my monkey mind. 

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Now, think about how many instances throughout the day you walk or interact with water. It’s got to be in the high dozens. Now imagine if in each of these routine actions you became habituated with slowing down for a second, breathing deeply, and unclenching. That’s a whole lot more rest than just the eight hours beneath the sheets. 

When we build this practice of associating ordinary and unmissable cues with mindfulness, we can enjoy more rest amid even the busiest of days. Take time to examine your own ambitious habit energy. The transition between rest and action happens countless times throughout the day, so take some time to recognize this transition so you can arrive in each moment mindfully. Use meditation or quiet reflection as the moment to notice that your engine is still running. Finally, making mindfulness a habit is a difficult thing to do and one that you’ll never perfect, so be patient with yourself and enjoy the process. There is no wasted effort in mindfulness because present awareness, no matter how ephemeral, is a precious thing. 

 

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The Right Effort To Find Peace

The Right Effort To Find Peace

We often think of peace as stillness. We think of tall grass gently swaying in a lakeside breeze, or of sitting in meditation with a waft of incense smoke curling up towards the ceiling. But peace also exists in a state of motion. Peace can even stem from discomfort. Peace is more than the common imagery of pinkish-orange sunsets or a lotus floating serenely on calm water. When we look a little closer at peace in its various forms, as this article intends to do, we see that peace is not an inherent state granted to some and withheld from others. Nor is peace waiting for us on the other side of a long meditation retreat. No, sometimes, we find peace through our ability to act upon that which we can control. Peace is equally our inaction—our inaction in the face of that which we cannot control. 

The Oxford dictionary defines peace as ‘freedom from disturbance; tranquility’ and ‘mental calm; serenity.’

Find Peace

But what’s the opposite of peace? 

The same dictionary provides the antonyms agitation, distress.

Not to focus on the negative, but let’s continue this train of thought. If distress is the opposite of peace, then what causes distress? Perhaps preventing the causes of distress is one way to find peace. Let’s take a look at the first 4 causes of distress as reported by Medical News Today in their article What are the causes and symptoms of emotional distress?:

 

  • feeling overwhelmed, helpless, or hopeless
  • feeling guilty without a clear cause
  • spending a lot of time worrying
  • having difficulty thinking or remembering

Now, it goes without saying that this article is by no means medical advice. See your doctor if you’re experiencing extreme or prolonged distress. But from an actionable philosophy perspective, if we look at these four causes of distress one common remedy jumps to mind: ceasing to focus on what cannot be controlled. In the above list we see words like helpless, overwhelmed, and worrying. We feel helpless when we have no traction and feel overwhelmed when we have too much to do. We worry, often, about future scenarios that are almost always unlikely to play out. Again, the first step to solving all of these problems is to identify uncontrollable variables and then to waste no energy pursuing them, in mind and in body. This way we not only eliminate extraneous worries, but we also zero in on what’s most likely to lead us in the right direction.

You have power over your mind—not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.

– Marcus Aurelius

But how do we identify controllable vs. uncontrollable variables?

When we act with deliberation and careful reflection on the things we do control, we can find peace in knowing that we’ve done all we can. Conversely, when we exert ourselves against the immovable objects that are the things beyond our control, we feel drained, discouraged, and distressed. But how can we identify the things within our control?

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Sometimes, controllable variables are obvious. If I study well for the exam, I will likely receive a higher grade. Here the variable is the amount of time spent studying, which is entirely within our control. Other times, they are less obvious. What if I have exam anxiety during the test? Here the variable is the level of anxiety, which is much more difficult to actively control.

One thing to note about attempting to control variables for a desired outcome is that the worries associated with it usually outnumber the actions you can take. You can see this for yourself if you take a desired outcome of an upcoming project or event and write down all the things you can actually do to ensure it goes well. Then, write down all the worries or potentially bad outcomes, and you’ll likely find that this list is significantly longer than the list of real actions. This long list of undesirable outcomes is like a sinkhole, consuming our focus and diverting our energy away from the right actions.

Singular focus to find peace

It is often one or two simple actions that decrease the chances of the worries from ever becoming real. Exam anxiety. Traffic jams on the way there. Mental block. Surprise questions. Nausea. Headaches. Forgot my calculator… These are all possible distress-causing worries from the above test-taker’s example. But from our vantage point, it’s easy to see that there are only one or two actions our student can take in this scenario: study hard, leave for the exam well in advance. That’s it. By focusing on these actions within our control, we find peace, but we also find confidence, which is surely to have a mitigating effect on all those distress-causing worries. We realize that our singular focus clears the path, and any unexpected obstacles encountered along the way will either be removed by prior preparation or there was nothing we could have done.

How to find peace

Objectively good vs subjectively bad

Another way to approach this early identification of what’s within control and what’s not is to consider the possible outcomes, both good and bad. This simple and imaginative brainstorming (deliberately, on your own terms and not amid the whirlwind of habitual worry) allows us to identify the outcomes we desire and those which we fear. Once you do this, ask yourself which are objectively good and which are subjectively bad. By objectively good I mean a real result that could be observed and classified as good by anyone. By subjectively bad I mean a result that you may perceive as bad, but in reality may be caused by your fears and that may not actually harm you.

Let’s take Sam, our friendly sales associate about to pitch his company’s new service package to a potential client. Objectively good outcome for Sam: the client is convinced that Sam’s company’s services will solve their problems and agrees to pay for their services. Subjectively bad: the client doesn’t like Sam. The client doesn’t like Sam’s appearance. Sam does something embarrassing during the pitch.

If we take a step back and analyze Sam’s potential outcomes, an exercise aided by their new classification of objective or subjective, we notice a few things. First, we see that the objective ones are a matter of fact whereas the subjective ones are more imaginary. Secondly, we see that the objective outcomes are measurable, and therefore actionable, whereas the subjective ones are neither of those things. 

Working backwards

Now Sam has one objective outcome he wants to pursue: demonstrating the problem-solving potential of his services to his prospective client. This is measurable. Either he returns to his office later that afternoon with paperwork to onboard a new client or he does not—1 new client vs. 0 new clients. Now he can work backwards from this one objective. Sam can work to identify the client’s needs. He can make strong associations between the advantages of his services and the client’s desires and work on convincing arguments. 

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He can action all of this without his focus being clouded by immaterial concerns such as his smile, his haircut, or whether or not he’s ‘likeable’. Sam cannot measure whether or not the potential client likes his smile, haircut, or anything else about him for that matter, nor will any of these factors likely affect his desired outcome. Therefore, Sam is much better off allocating little or no effort to these variables.

But how does he prevent those subjectively bad things? I mean, surely he doesn’t want to do anything embarrassing, surely he wants to arrive with a confident smile, right? Of course he does, but the thing about undivided attention on his measurable outcome is that it allows him to arrive more prepared, less frazzled, more confident and therefore convincing. Not only that, but when he has singular focus, he can simply do the work. He can find pleasure in working on the task at hand. He’s already identified the desired outcome in the beginning of his exercise, so now he can let go of it. Now he can enjoy his work, leaving him tranquil, free of disturbance, at peace.

This is but one way to find peace

I want to acknowledge that I’m in no position to define peace or how to seek it for anyone. Peace can be fluid, personal, and transient. I simply wish for this article to show that careful and deliberate action on what we can control is one means of finding peace. I hope that it provides food for thought for anyone who has ever become disillusioned by their meditation, yoga, or exercise practices for failing to provide peace. 

Peace can come in doing what we’re meant to be doing—and doing it with a sense of lighthearted purpose, conviction and undivided focus. Diverting our efforts from swerving into the ditch of uncontrollable variables can also bring peace. With some quiet reflection before embarking on any journey, we can begin to see the path for what it really is—a singular way forward to something real and measurable. Once we know the path, all we can do is follow it as best we can and deal with unexpected bumps when (or if) they meet us. 

We can’t pray our soul into better condition. We’ve got to move and live our way there. It will take our body—our habits, our actions, our rituals, our self care—to get our spirit in the right place, just as it takes our mind and spirit to get our body to the right place.

– Ryan Holiday

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