What The Death Of Marcus Aurelius Teaches Us About Life

What The Death Of Marcus Aurelius Teaches Us About Life

Marcus Aurelius died in a cold, dark place, but his last words shined bright with a message of hope: “Go to the rising sun, for I am already setting.” He delivered these words not to a beloved, but to a guard of the night’s watch in his military camp near the frontline of war. We know quite a bit about the death of Marcus Aurelius. We have descriptions of his demeanor. There are records of his final deeds and words. We, the readers of history, have the advantage of retrospection. So, in this article, let us study Marcus Aurelius’ death to see if we learn something about life. We’ll look back together at how this man, the last of the great Stoics and great Roman Emperors, returned to nature in harmony with virtue and reason—how he died as any good Stoic lives. 

 

“Do not act as if you were going to live ten thousand years. Death hangs over you. While you live, while it is in your power, be good.” – Marcus Aurelius, Meditations (paid link)

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A mosaic-style image of Marcus Aurelius mounted on a horse in Rome to represent an article on the death of Marcus Aurelius

How did Marcus Aurelius die?

 

It was 180 AD, nearing the end of winter at the front of a brutal war with northern tribes in what is modern-day Vienna. It was there that Marcus contracted the Antonine plague. War and disease. These were the chief executioners that killed millions during Marcus’ lifetime. So throughout his life, beginning with the loss of his father when he was just three, Marcus had become familiar with death. He outlived eight of his thirteen children. He lost his wife of thirty-five years. 

 

Accounts of his final six days tell us that he faced the end with calm and indifference. But we also know that this acceptance didn’t come naturally to Marcus. It wasn’t an inherent quality he was born with. As a boy, he once wept over the death of his beloved tutor so uncontrollably that those involved in his early grooming to become emperor questioned whether he was fit for the title. 

 

So, as with all of us, he learned from experience. With each loss, he gained perspective. He had many opportunities to see and feel, first hand, what his Stoic teachers taught: that to accept death is to free oneself. To accept death is the highest use of reason, and to the Stoics, to live with reason was the ultimate goal. 

 

Nature bestowed upon us the gift of reason. It’s the gift that gives us agency. It allows us to choose to circumvent base desires and instead choose the more difficult path towards the greater good. It allows us to stare down fear and move forward despite it. Since death is among the most certain of all things, accepting it is among the most reasonable of choices.

 

Do not say of anything, ‘I have lost it,’ but rather, ‘I have given it back.’ Has your wife died? You have given her back. Has your child died? You have given him back. Have you lost your home? You have given it back. ‘But…,’ you may retort, a bad person took it. It is not your concern by what means something returns to the source from which it came, for as long as the source entrusts something to your hands, treat it as something borrowed, like a traveler at an inn.” – Epictetus, The Manual (paid link)

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The death of Marcus Aurelius: practicing until the end

 

Marcus didn’t just passively accept his failing health in those final days. He continued to practice and display virtue. He was practicing wisdom when he asked his physicians to describe in great detail each of his symptoms and how the disease was slowly choking his organs. He wanted to lean into the truth. 

 

Upon seeing his reflection in a porcelain mirror, he engaged in an old Stoic practice of imagining his predecessors staring back at him. He visualized the decayed faces of his adopted father and grandfather. Again, he leaned into his fate, rather than distracting himself from it. 

 

At one point in those final days, surrounded by his remaining children and closest advisors, he suddenly lost consciousness mid speech. His physicians were able to rouse him, and, upon waking, he found some of his children crying hysterically, fearing that he had just passed. Seeing this reminded him of the times that he, too, violently wept over the losses of those he loved. But even in this moment of unsurpassed weakness, he had the courage and wisdom to redirect the room toward forward momentum. He urged them not to lament the inevitable. Instead, he directed them to focus on what would be his final mission. 

 

Related article: Summary of Marcus Aurelius’ Meditations: The Most Popular Parts

A mosaic-style image of Marcus Aurelius on horse-back to represent an article on the death of Marcus Aurelius

Justice until the end 

 

Marcus’ only remaining son, Commodus, was seemingly just days, or even hours, away from succeeding Marcus as Emperor of Rome. But this passage to power would not be a smooth transition, not without taking the correct precautions. 

 

Marcus had seen Commodus falling in with the wrong crowd. He knew his son was not sufficiently resistant against the unhealthy passions of fear and desire. Commodus feared death and desired the comfort of warm baths awaiting him back in Rome. 

 

So Marcus laid there on his deathbed, having just nearly succumbed to a permanent loss of consciousness, to find his closest allies and family members weeping helplessly. He had them swear that they would look after Commodus, that they would keep him away from those tempting him towards the easy path of comfort and pleasure. 

 

It was imperative that Commodus remain at the warfront to oversee its nearing end. Returning back to Rome with the war’s end within sight would signal weakness to Rome’s enemies, emboldening more of them to join the fight. At home, it would signal to the Senate that the new emperor was unfit to rule, which would lead to power-grabs, instability, and, likely, civil war. 

 

So despite his frailty and declining faculties, Marcus held strong onto his final act of justice, which was to put an end to the war and reduce the likelihood of further suffering among all those under his care. He called meetings with his most trusted officials to order them to push Commodus in the right direction. He counseled Commodus on the vital importance of his next moves. 

 

As he neared even closer to the end, he did all he could within his sphere of influence to make the world a better place—to act, despite being bedridden, with courage, justice, and wisdom. His failing body was no longer under his control, and to that, he acquiesced.

 

Related article: Master The Art Of Acquiescence For Resilience & Perspective

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Life lessons from the death of Marcus Aurelius

 

So we must approach death the same way we ought to approach life. We should seek truth and take steps to uphold that truth in our speech and actions. We should embrace fate in all its glorious mystery. We should always choose the path, no matter how arduous, towards peace and reconciliation. 

 

We prepare for death by living. If we live a long life of genuine commitment to upholding values and virtues, then we’ll know what to do when death approaches. Afterall, the final days are days not unlike any other day. There will be things to say. Things to do. Choices to make.

 

We may see ‘memento mori’ quotes on social media and think that Stoicism is morbid—that Stoics are nonchalant about death. But ultimately, Stoicism teaches us to live with forward momentum, propelled by our intimate understanding of the finite nature of everything, promoting as much positive change along the way as we can. The lessons learned over the course of a life lived this way will grant us the skills to not only accept death when it comes, but to live it—to experience what is ultimately a return to nature, a return to our source. 

 

“It is not death that a man should fear, but he should fear never beginning to live.” – Marcus Aurelius, Meditations (paid link)

Credits: 

I relied heavily on the book How To Think Like A Roman Emperor by Donald Robertson (paid link) when researching this article.

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How To Practice The Virtue Of Temperance In Stoicism

How To Practice The Virtue Of Temperance In Stoicism

They say sitting is the new smoking. But how can this be? Our bodies are highly evolved survival machines. We emerged as the dominant species on this planet not in small part because we can run long distances. We can maneuver through and manipulate our environment in sophisticated ways. Surely our bodies can handle sitting in a chair. Of course, the act of resting our asses on a seat is not harmful. It’s only harmful when we sit for eight, ten, even fourteen hours a day. This is excessive. This is the opposite of the virtue of temperance.

 

What is temperance in Stoicism?

 

The ancient Stoics gave us their 4 Stoic Virtues, one of which is temperance. The Stoics describe temperance as moderation and active resistance against anything that is harmful in excess. Essentially, temperance is balance. 

 

I’d like to take a deep dive into the virtue of temperance, because finding balance in life is a central pursuit of this blog. In this article, I’ll attempt to share practical tips and strategies for applying temperance to areas of life that I feel are susceptible to harmful excess: decision making, time management, and work life balance.

 

What did the Stoics say about temperance? 

 

In a passage of Meditations about dealing with other peoples’ shamelessness, Marcus Aurelius wrote: 

 

“What qualities has nature given us to counter that defect? As an antidote to unkindness it gave us kindness. And other qualities to balance other flaws.” 

 

He’s saying that there are always two sides of every coin. Exercising the virtue of temperance can be as simple as looking to the opposite of what’s excessive. Is there too much inactivity in your life because of your office job? The simple antidote is the opposite: exercise. Do you work too hard? The simple antidote is true, mindful rest. 

 

Related article: Ambitious Habit Energy & Finding Rest Anywhere

 

Applying Temperance To Time Management

How to practice the virtue of temperance 

 

Two birds with one stone: practicing temperance with time management

 

Our mortality is both the source of life’s greatest fears and life’s greatest beauty. Our limited time on earth is a defining human characteristic that we all share. We must not squander our time with cheap and frivolous entertainment, nor can we allow the sharp edge of productivity to shave it all away. 

 

This is an incredibly difficult balance to strike—one that requires temperance. 

 

Capitalism is an effective testing and training ground for one’s self-actualization, but we all know there are more important areas of life that cannot be measured by market value: connection with others, quiet time to reflect, creativity without a desired material outcome, etc.

 

One strategy that I use in an attempt to marry my desire to be successful with my desire to live a mindful and healthy life is finding activities that support both goals simultaneously. I used to love playing organized sports, even as an adult. I also used to love lifting weights at the gym. As my work responsibilities grew (less free time) and my cost of living increased suddenly (greater expenses) when I moved to a very expensive city, I had to make changes to mitigate these losses. I also noticed that my office job was creating an imbalance in terms of excessive time spent indoors. I used to run occasionally, but just as a sort of necessary chore of maintaining cardiovascular fitness.

 

Stack habits and behaviors to serve multiple purposes

 

Here, I found myself with the following requirements at the same time: recreational competition, physical exercise, saving money, and more fresh air. So, I decided to become a trail runner to meet all of these needs simultaneously. I realized that by signing up for some tough long-distance trail races, I was creating a fun challenge for myself in a competitive sport, while saving money and gaining more time outdoors by saying goodbye to the gym. 

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The Mindful Stoic blog is another example of this ‘killing two birds’ methodology, albeit one that I had not considered when I started the blog. 

 

The company I work for places a very high value on writing skills. When we have new ideas, we always develop and present them in writing. Although the content and style of writing is very different between this blog and my day job, I am most likely practicing the written word a lot more than my colleagues who don’t own and operate a blog as a hobby. 

 

Also, writing about mindfulness and Stoicism helps me keep these practices top of mind. Writing about these practices not only provides me with a creative outlet, but it’s also helped them really take root in my life. 

 

The ‘killing-two-birds method’ tenets

 

  1. The activity should meet or support multiple needs or objectives at one time. 
  2. The activity must be done for the love of the activity itself. 
  3. If there is a measurable outcome, you should still ‘win’ even if the outcome is not successful.
  4. The activity should allow you to get better at something you can use in other areas of life. 

 

Designing our leisure activities and hobbies in this way allows us to practice temperance when it comes to managing our finite time and balancing ambition with mindful living. 

 

Sure, with enough discipline and habit building, we could spend all of our waking hours working, studying and striving toward some material end. But, there’s more to being human than producing and getting rewarded for it on the market. So, finding healthy hobbies that we truly love doing for the sake of it, but with a little flavor of useful support in other areas of life, is one way to maximize our time. 

Applying Temperance To Decision Making

How to practice the virtue of temperance with decision making 

 

A simple technique for practicing temperance regarding difficult decisions is to quickly identify at least one alternative. For any decision that involves internal conflict, try to think of at least one better alternative early in the process, leaving you with at least two options. 

 

This technique is especially helpful when it comes to cravings or decisions motivated by fatigue or passivity. Here’s a hypothetical situation to help illustrate: after a long day of work, you discover that food in the fridge is in low supply. The idea of going to the nearest fast food restaurant strikes you, but you also know it is not a healthy option. Now is the moment to quickly identify an alternative. You could also go to the grocery store and pick up something quick and easy to prepare. The grocery store option will be cheaper and healthier. 

 

Quickly identifying an alternative does something significant. Instead of allowing your tired mind to wrestle with the sole option of satisfying fast food, your brain now has another outlet. Urges and temptations are most powerful when there are no other options presented, or when the other options don’t satisfy the underlying need. This approach allows us to practice temperance when it comes to all kinds of conflicting decisions. 

 

There is always a middle path

 

Here are a few more examples of identifying alternatives to practice temperance with decision making:

 

I’m incredibly tired today, so exercising is probably not a good idea.

Some stretching or yoga will do the trick.

 

These t-shirts have a buy-2-get-1-free deal.

One is cheaper than two, and I really only need one.

 

I wonder if I should cut carbs entirely from my diet, but I’ve found conflicting research.

Cutting down on carbs by 40-50% is a sensible compromise.

 

I’ve been presented with an interesting investment idea, but I’m worried I’ll lose my money.

Define your risk tolerance, i.e. how much money you can tolerate losing, and invest only that much. 

 

I should eat less sugar.

Make a rule for yourself. Decide that you simply will not eat products with more than 20g of sugar per 100g serving. 

 

The powerful aftereffect that accompanies this technique is that by choosing the more positive alternative, sometimes we gain a second wind and end up snowballing with the good behavior. To take the above exercise example, you may successfully negotiate some stretching rather than sitting on the couch, and you may end up feeling great doing the stretching to the point that you regain the desire to exercise more rigorously. 

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At the very least, you will feel good about having done something, leaving you in a better mood and therefore in a better mindset for the following day. To take the above investing example, you have a zero percent chance of profiting by doing nothing, but by taking a calculated risk, you can reap the rewards if there is a positive return and only suffer a tolerable loss if the return is negative. 

Practicing the virtue of temperance with work-life balance

 

Work life balance has become somewhat of a cliché topic. But, an idea only becomes a cliché if it’s repeated in the culture. If it’s repeated in the culture, then there’s undoubtedly some truth or value behind it. Finding balance in all areas of life is a central theme of this blog, and work life balance is certainly a major part of that. 

 

We all know someone who suffers in life because they let fear or plain laziness prevent them from working and they struggle to meet their needs. 

 

Conversely, we all know someone who works too hard and then suffers in their relationships or health. We must practice the virtue of temperance by balancing between excessive work and excessive passivity. 

 

Work is not just about monetary gain, either. When done in correct proportions and environments, work can provide a sense of pride, challenges that lead to personal growth, and some mental stimulus that keeps our brains healthy. 

 

Here are some practices I find helpful for striking a balance between work and mindful living: 

 

Work life balance tenets

 

  1. You must accept the fact that you will never finish. There will always be work left undone at the end of the day. You need to be able to embrace this and shut off at the day’s end. Related article: How To Switch Off After Work.
  2. Be wary of technology and turn it off. My grandfather was an incredibly hard worker. But, he never had to contend with email at any hour in any place. 
  3. Don’t compare yourself to others and don’t place value on working long hours. Strive to be more efficient than your competition and don’t worry if it appears as if you’re working less. 
  4. Out of sight out of mind. Place work related objects in a drawer, closet or separate room at the end of the day. 
  5. Acknowledge that a job that’s 100% enjoyable is practically non-existent. The grass is not always greener on the other side, so always attempt to find the good in what you do, accept and overcome the bad before making major changes. 
  6. Bring structure and organization to your life outside of work. You have project trackers, schedules, and monthly reviews for your work. But, do you have such mechanisms for your family life? We often say ‘I should spend more time with family’, but how often do we apply our organizational and time management skills to ensure that quality time actually happens? Related article: Your Core Values: Turning Good Intentions Into Good Results
  7. Be acutely aware of the distinction between rest and work. When you begin working, say to yourself ‘now I am working’. When you finish work, say to yourself ‘now I am resting’. All too often we transition from work to rest mindlessly, allowing our work energy and stress to follow us when it should be left where it belongs. Mindfulness is incredibly simple yet powerful. 

 

Final thoughts

Temperance, moderation, and balance are elusive. You can find philosophy and religion attempting to guide people to a middle path all throughout history. Any time we see consistency across cultures and throughout history when it comes to ideas, it’s a good indication that the idea is worth exploring. 

 

I’ve attempted here to write practically about practicing the Stoic virtue of temperance with time management, decision making, and work life balance. I chose these three areas because I feel they lend themselves to the magnetism, often created by culture, that pulls us away from the middle path. But, these are not the only areas in which the virtue of temperance is needed. 

Look for any excess in your life and find ways of applying the virtue of temperance to counterbalance it. Take some time to identify these areas of excess, ideally on paper in a journal, and come up with your own strategies and techniques. The world is a chaotic and evolving place to navigate, but the ability to walk a straight line, never losing sight of the middle path, is certainly an advantage that we should afford to ourselves. 

 

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Marcus Aurelius died in a cold, dark place, but his last words shined bright with a message of hope: “Go to the rising sun, for I am already setting.” He delivered these words not to a beloved, but to a guard of the night’s watch in his military camp near the...

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