Nobody has unfaltering focus. Nobody’s courage runs in an uninterrupted continuum. Discipline is a limited resource. These statements may seem discouraging, but they are only discouraging if we don’t know how to be resilient.
The definition of resilience implies setback or difficulty. If we were to invoke imagery to visualize resilience, one might picture a surfer carving effortlessly atop an enormous wave.
But this would be an incorrect image of resilience. A more accurate depiction of resilience would be of the surfer dragging themselves back onto their surfboard after having been hammered down by a huge wave. Resilience resides in a very narrow space. That space is found between a setback and a corrective action.
In this article, we’ll explore 9 Stoic practices for resilience.
Stoic Resilience is resetting quickly
If we were to measure resilience, we might look at the time required to get back onto the surfboard. Resilience is pretty hard to practice if we don’t understand where it occurs. Bringing awareness to the space where resilience can happen is the fundamental step towards building resilience as a feature of character.
The space for resilience opens up immediately after a setback, loss, or failure. Reducing the time required to accept and move forward is what it takes to be more resilient.
“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”
Here are 9 Stoic practices to help you be more resilient
1. Accept the setback: Often, we get stuck on the problem because we can’t accept it. This can occur in the form of blame or feeling sorry for ourselves. The Stoics taught that blame and pity are not only wastes of time, but they are also states of mind that prevent progress. We can’t even begin to see the way forward until we’ve accepted that we’ve been obstructed. In Stoicism, this practice has a name: The Art of Acquiescence. For more on this, check out our article Master The Art Of Acquiescence For Resilience & Perspective.
2. Fill the time following a setback with activity: Pull up a chair and invite your fear to sit there next to you as your temporary guest and carry on working. The space where resilience occurs is narrow, and it doesn’t happen if self-pity, doubt, or anxiety lead to inaction. Accept the hardship with compassion and understanding and move forward promptly. Even if the activity does not directly address the problem, as long as it is healthy and keeps you moving, it helps create favorable conditions for a solution.
Monitor your focus to be more resilient
3. Always know your top priority: Having a clear set of priorities laid out next to you on paper is a good way to regain focus promptly after a distraction. When a distraction pops up, ask yourself if it fits within or atop your priority list. If it doesn’t fit there, then you can delegate or delete it. Stoic resilience is the ability to either handle or delete a distraction and then return quickly to the priority, as if the distraction had never occurred.
4. If you’re really stuck, help others: If your obstacle or setback truly has you stuck, and you can’t seem to find the way forward. Don’t give up. Patience and time can be crucial ingredients for resilience. In the meantime, helping others is a strong way to remain active and positive. Plus, diverting your attention away from your problem and aiming towards the benefit of others may help you see your problem in a new light.
5. Look for the good in the bad: There are always lessons in setbacks and failures. But there can also be advantages. In his book The Obstacle Is The Way, Ryan Holiday describes a setback-turned-advantage using a story about Phil Jackson, the hall-of-fame NBA coach. While recovering from a surgery, Jackson was stuck in a high, director’s-style chair on the sidelines while coaching. At first, he thought this would hinder his coaching—unable to move up and down the bench and interact with players at will. Instead, he found that the elevated seat grounded him. It gave him a new vantage point that led to a calmer, more centered style of coaching.
6. Always know your ‘why’: We can be more resilient when we have a purpose greater than ourselves. Finding your purpose is essential for Stoic resilience. In my own life, I call this my North Star. It is the overarching, top priority in my life. Mine is not that original; it’s my family’s well-being. When my North Star shines light on a difficulty, I remember why I’m doing the little things, and my motivation is renewed in the face of adversity. The Stoics had a phrase that pairs well with this concept: Summum bonum (Latin for ‘the highest good’). Early Stoics like Cicero used the phrase to materialize their core message: to live virtuously is the highest good. Find your purpose, and live virtuously on your path towards it.
7. Don’t be caught off guard: The Stoic epithet Premeditatio malorum (Latin for ‘the premeditation of evils’) teaches us to be acutely aware that things can and will go wrong. This is not about diving into despair. It’s about readiness. In business, they would call it risk assessment and risk mitigation. I love this passage from Epictetus’ The Manual: A Philosopher’s Guide To Life, where he urges us to remain alert and ready:
“During a voyage, when the ship is anchored and you go ashore for supplies, you may amuse yourself with picking up seashells and pretty stones along the way, but keep your thoughts attuned on the ship, keeping alert to the captain’s call. You may need to drop your treasures and run back to the boat at any time. Likewise in life, remain steadfast in pursuing your mission, always willing to shed distractions.”
Being ready for setbacks before they occur creates favorable conditions for resilience.
Stoic resilience and discipline
We all have lapses of discipline to some degree and frequency. Even David Goggins, someone who exemplifies astounding discipline, had to navigate transitions from laziness to diligence. If you don’t know his story, it’s worth reading about. You could also check out his bestselling book Can’t Hurt Me or his more recent book Never Finished.
We could argue whether or not Goggins experiences lapses of discipline today (although I would imagine that by his standards he does). He certainly lacked discipline in his past. His story is compelling because he used to be lazy and undisciplined.
He was able to transform himself from a guy who picked up a box of donuts every day on his way home from spraying for cockroaches into a Navy SEAL, ultra-marathon runner, and bestselling author, because he kept the time short between lapses in discipline and corrective action. He didn’t make this transformation overnight and he certainly didn’t do it without breaches in discipline.
8. Keep the time short between lapses in discipline: It takes courage to take a day off. We need lazy days. We need space to simply be and simply rest. Take time to recharge, but keep the intervals short between strong routines and breaks from them.
9. Remember your previous comebacks, and be proud of yourself: First, always take pride in the fact that you’re trying at all. Setbacks, failures, and losses are hard enough to cope with. We can at least lighten the burden a little by being proud of ourselves. Also, look back to times where you overcame similar challenges. This will remind you that you’ll get through this one, and may even help you recall tactics that were successful before.
Final thoughts
Although discipline may be a limited resource, our beliefs about it can have a mitigating effect on its depletion. If we believe in our ability to recover, and if we’re proud of our own commitment to strive for better, we’re likely to be more resilient. The key here is to cherish and love the part of you that’s trying to be better, not reprimanding the part of you that was weak. Embrace your imperfections with loving-kindness, but never stop striving.
“Where the head goes, the body follows. Perception precedes action. Right action follows the right perspective.”
– Ryan Holiday, The Obstacle Is The Way