In 1968, James Forest was traveling through the Midwestern United States with the late Buddhist monk and peace activist, Thich Nhat Hanh. They were thousands of miles from the napalm and Agent Orange that was raining down on Nhat Hanh’s native Vietnam. One evening, they were at a church function speaking of peace and cultivating compassion. Nhat Hanh’s words that night also carried a plea for Americans to stand up and oppose the horrific bombing of his country. His words were clear and guided by a deep connection with his homeland and the colorful memories associated with it—that of the village kite-maker brightening the sky as well as the faces of the local children, the sound of wind instruments, and thick groves of bamboo. Yet his message drew the ire of one American in attendance, who scornfully interrupted the speech:
“If you care so much about your people, Mr. Hanh, why are you here? If you care so much for the people who are wounded, why don’t you spend your time with them?”
Forest recalls having almost lost his senses, nearly overwhelmed by a surge of anger caused by this man’s starkly rude comments. Nevertheless, he vividly recalls how Nhat Hanh responded in a way that contrasted his own visceral reaction. First, there was silence. Then, with equipoise, Thich Nhat Hanh addressed the man:
“If you want the tree to grow,” he said, “it won’t help to water the leaves. You have to water the roots. Many of the roots of the war are here, in your country. To help the people who are to be bombed, to try to protect them from this suffering, I have to come here.”
Related article: Thich Nhat Hanh & The Zen Practice Of Stopping
Watering roots
I feel that this story is relevant and timely in light of current events. But I also selected this story to lead this piece because of its underlying message: even in the face of hatred and violence, there are always fundamental elements within our control. Furthermore, we can influence these elements to make the world a stronger, more peaceful place. However, these elements are often local and appear entirely unrelated to the suffering happening far away capturing our attention. As Nhat Hanh’s story illustrates, although it is tempting to direct our desire to help straight to the visible leaves of suffering, it is often more realistic and effective to ensure that the roots in our own backyard are tended to.
Compassionate thinking leads to compassionate acting. This is a powerful sequence—in both the incubation phase for the person contemplating compassion and for the eventual recipient of the compassionate act. This latter phase of actually reaching out to help others differentiates compassion from sympathy or empathy, both of which are a recognition of suffering in others. Cultivating compassion is the recognition of others’ suffering coupled with the strong desire to help. With a little forethought and a lot of practice, we can use compassionate thinking and acting to alleviate our sense of despair caused by the perceived immensity of the world’s problems.
Cultivating compassion starts with a thought and ends with an action
In this article, we’ll explore two phases of cultivating compassion. The first phase begins internally. It is sparked by an observation of someone else’s suffering and is followed by a contemplation or meditation. It is an individual act—the cognitive spark inside that precedes the external action. We’ll look at findings from studies which demonstrate that compassionate actions are beneficial to both the giver and the receiver. We’ll also touch on an ancient Buddhist meditation technique, which has seen a resurgence in popularity in the last few decades, called Loving Kindness meditation.
Based on the true definition of compassion—the observation of suffering in others followed by the strong desire to do something about it—our work is only half done unless we take our compassionate thoughts off the meditation mat and into the real world.
This brings us to the second element we’ll explore in this article: cultivating compassion through action. It’s easy to become exacerbated by certain, tragic events around the world. We don’t have the power to instantly end severe suffering in the world, but there are a lot of small levers we can pull to bring positive change and alleviate suffering in our more immediate circles. This touches on two fundamental Stoic principles. First, there’s the dichotomy of control, which teaches us to identify things within our control and act upon them positively. Secondly, compassionate acting supports the Stoic virtue of Justice, which teaches us to ensure our thoughts and actions put the world in a slightly better state than the one we inherited at birth.
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It starts with a thought
Most of us have experienced unwarranted and unwanted general anxiety at least once in our lives. For those of us with this experience, we can attest that this generalized anxiety is usually associated with over thinking. It comes from mulling over and stirring around worries about ourselves. We hit the replay button on past failures or embarrassments or we create little fictional stories of how we’re going to suffer in the future.
The common denominator here with this kind of anxiety is the self. When our attention becomes consumed with the self, it has the inevitable tendency to tilt toward negativity. Conversely, when we make a concerted effort to divert our attention from ourselves and point it outward to the service of others, we alleviate our own anxiety and sense of despair. This is because the mind can only truly focus on one thing at a time, so concentrating on helping others is momentarily incompatible with worrying about ourselves.
This involves a certain degree of contemplation or meditation. It requires us to think about the suffering of others. Our own worries are replaced by tragedies we’ve recently seen in the news or by the most serious problems of people in our lives. This can be overwhelming and can provoke a sense of despair. With so much suffering in the world and with so much of it far away, the self-imposed question inevitably arises: ‘what can I possibly do?’ This is a pitfall to avoid. The Stoic principle of the dichotomy of control helps with this.
Cultivating compassion with the dichotomy of control
Take the following as an exercise and take it seriously. Ask yourself realistically what you can and cannot do about the suffering in the world. Pretty quickly, you’ll find that there is not much you can do to prevent a bomb from falling on a residential neighborhood two thousand miles away. However, you will find that there is a lot you can do to help your neighbor. There is a lot you can do to help your family. When you continue this exercise of ardently and realistically identifying the things you can do to make the world around you a better place, you’ll quickly find yourself with a fairly long list of actionable items.
This is the watering roots concept that Thich Nhat Hanh so eloquently and peacefully evoked in his rebuttal to his rude critic in our opening story. There is very little you can do to stop a war. But there are a few things you can do to prevent one. By making yourself strong, thereby enabling yourself to make your family strong and exemplary of peaceful values, you make your community stronger and more peaceful. A strong and peaceful country consists of a network of strong and peaceful communities, which in turn are a network of strong and peaceful families and individuals. A peaceful world consists of a network of strong and peaceful nations.
Eudaimonic happiness
This first phase of cultivating compassion—the contemplative and meditative phase—benefits our mental and physical health, too. Researchers have found that a sense of happiness which is built upon a foundation of service to and connection with others has greater physiological health benefits than a sense of happiness founded on the gratification of personal desires:
“[researchers] Coleman and Frederickson found that people who were happy because they lived a life of pleasure (sometimes also known as “hedonic happiness”) had high inflammation levels; on the other hand, people who were happy because they lived a life of purpose or meaning (sometimes also known as “eudaimonic happiness”) had low inflammation levels.”
– Compassionate Mind, Healthy Body – Greater Good Magazine, Berkeley
As stated above, compassion starts with a thought and finishes with an action. If you’re feeling depressed, anxious, or lonely, especially in relation to tragic world events, the first thing you can do is meditate on the well-being of others.
A practical exercise
In Buddhist traditions, this is called Loving Kindness meditation. Loving Kindness meditation in its simplest form is bringing to mind a person or people and silently sending them wishes of health, peace, and happiness. In sitting meditation, the practitioner often repeats ‘may you be happy, may you be healthy, may you be at peace.’ This form of meditation is the mind’s equivalent of lifting dumbbells to build the ‘muscle’ needed for cultivating compassion and connectedness. With practice, it lays the framework for the compassionate actions that not only alleviate our sense of despair and hopelessness, but also, ultimately, make the world a better place. Furthermore, this kind of silent compassion training has immediate and lasting health benefits:
“[…] when [researcher] Fredrickson tested a nine-week loving-kindness meditation intervention, she found that the participants who went through the intervention experienced increased daily positive emotions, reduced depressive symptoms, and greater life satisfaction. A study led by Sheethal Reddy at Emory University showed that a compassion training for foster children increased hopefulness in the children. Overall, research on compassion trainings shows that these trainings don’t only boost compassion; they also improve overall psychological well-being and social connection.”
– Compassionate Mind, Healthy Body – Greater Good Magazine, Berkeley
Compassionate actions in concentric circles
Once we’ve done the silent exercise of loving kindness meditation and leveraged the Stoic dichotomy of control to identify the elements within our reach, we can begin to complete the sequence of cultivating compassion by translating our thoughts into action. Although it may seem unsatisfying, often the most effective compassionate actions we can take are small and local. By directing our compassion to ourselves first, and then letting our compassionate actions emanate outward concentrically to our family, community, and beyond, we water the roots of peace. Evil requires space and preys on weakness and division. By making yourself strong, by taking care of yourself and those close to you in the most basic ways, you eliminate some easy operating room for evil.
The other powerful effect of compassionate action at a local level is that it is contagious. It may not be apparent that stopping to help a person on the street can have far-reaching effects, but that person will carry the act of kindness forward to another person. In fact, studies have demonstrated that acts of compassion often form a chain reaction:
“Indeed, compassion is contagious. Social scientists James Fowler of the University of California, San Diego, and Nicholas Christakis of Harvard have demonstrated that acts of generosity and kindness beget more generosity in a chain reaction of goodness. You may have seen a news report about one of the chain reactions that has occurred when someone pays for the diners who come after them at a restaurant or the drivers behind them at a highway tollbooth. People keep the generous behavior going for hours. Our acts of compassion uplift others and make them happy.”
– Compassionate Mind, Healthy Body – Greater Good Magazine, Berkeley
Sustainable and effective compassion
When you’re experiencing despair about the state of the world, before acting radically or shouting ineffectually, stop and block out some time in your calendar for quiet reflection. Start with the simplest form of cultivating compassion: silent, loving kindness meditation. This will settle your thoughts and bring clarity. Then, contemplate what is within your control. There may be a war raging on another continent, but are there also people in your immediate circle suffering? What can you do to help them? Once you’ve armed yourself with an actionable list of compassionate actions, head out into the world with the intention of doing your best to help. This is the full cycle of compassion that not only alleviates personal anxiety and despair, but that also waters the roots of peace most effectively and sustainably.
Related article: Karma In Buddhism: Sowing The Seeds Of Love
I’d like to end with a short list of practical ways of cultivating compassion locally. The list is admittedly limited to my imagination, so my hope is for it to serve as inspiration for you to snowball with it:
7 ways to cultivate compassion
- Start with yourself — It’s a cliché that we cannot help others if we cannot first help ourselves, but it is true and valid.
- Build a strong family unit — The family is a powerful institution. It makes for strong communities.
- Donate (if you have the means) — I will provide a list of reputable charitable organizations at the end of this post with links to their websites.
- Vote with your dollar — Be conscious of your purchases and eliminate spending that contradicts the values you uphold.
- Focus on the democracy in which you have the power to vote (if you’re fortunate enough to have such a privilege) — The news cycle can easily distract us from the local mechanics of democracy. Too often, we’re more aware of the presidential elections happening in foreign countries than we are of our own municipal or state elections. Vote often, vote locally, and vote in accordance with the values you want to see around the world.
- Use social media for good — These platforms have come under a lot of scrutiny for the damaging effects they can have, but it’s never been easier to spread a message of hope or love. Share an inspirational quote, leave a positive comment, but perhaps most importantly, refrain from engaging in counterproductive noise. Unfollow negative accounts and follow positive ones.
- Donate your time — Find ways to volunteer or lend your presence to good causes. Actions speak louder than words and often speak louder than dollars.
Here are some reputable charitable organizations in need of generous support: