Stoic Courage: How To Face Life’s Battles With Grit And Resilience

Stoic Courage: How To Face Life’s Battles With Grit And Resilience

I’ve written a lot about Stoicism, and I’ll continue to do so because it continues to help me live a resilient, grounded life. It’s practical, no-nonsense, and honest about how little we control—which is oddly comforting. One of the core virtues in Stoicism is courage, and not just the obvious kind where you charge into battle swinging a sword. Stoic courage is less conspicuous than that. It’s about facing life head-on, whether that means bearing through a tough work week, speaking the truth when it’s inconvenient, or just getting out of bed when the weight of existence is pressing down on you. 

What Is Stoic courage?

Courage in the Stoic sense isn’t just about not being afraid. Fear is inevitable. Courage is about feeling fear and doing the right thing anyway. The Stoics, from Antipater to Epictetus, understood that fear isn’t the problem—it’s how we react to it. The goal isn’t to eliminate fear but to train ourselves to act despite it. It’s a kind of quiet, steady bravery, the kind that doesn’t need a spotlight.

There’s a common misconception that courage is loud and heroic. That’s Hollywood courage. Stoic courage is often silent, invisible. It’s the courage to accept reality as it is. The courage to make a difficult decision without knowing how it will turn out. The courage to persist when things suck. And they will suck. That’s life.

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Close-up of an intricately carved lion statue, representing power, wisdom, and the fearless mindset of Stoic philosophy in facing life’s challenges.

Lessons from ancient warriors

If anyone knew about courage, it was the warriors of the ancient world. The Stoics were close to military life—Marcus Aurelius was literally an emperor at war for most of his reign. But what’s interesting is that Stoicism doesn’t glorify war itself. Instead, it focuses on the internal battle: the fight to master your own mind.

Take Cato the Younger, a Stoic politician who stood up to Julius Caesar at great personal cost. He refused to compromise his principles, even when it was politically and personally disastrous. That’s courage. Not the kind that wins medals, but the kind that costs everything and still stands firm.

Or look at the Roman general Scipio Africanus, who practiced restraint and rationality in warfare, understanding that true strength isn’t in reckless aggression but in control. The best warriors weren’t just strong—they were wise. Courage without wisdom is just passion.

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How to cultivate Stoic courage

So how do we practice this kind of courage in modern life? You’re probably not leading legions into battle, but that doesn’t mean you don’t face challenges that require just as much inner fortitude. Here’s how to build Stoic courage:

Regal stone lion statue standing guard, symbolizing strength, protection, and unwavering courage—echoing Stoic resilience and fortitude.
  1. Practice voluntary discomfort – If you can handle small discomforts voluntarily, you’ll be better prepared when life throws bigger ones at you. Try fasting, cold showers, or going without something you think you need. It’s training for resilience.
  2. Do the right thing, even when it’s hard – Speak up when something is wrong, even if it makes you unpopular. Tell the truth, even when it’s easier to lie. Make the tough call when no one else wants to.
  3. Accept what you can’t control – A huge part of Stoic courage is surrendering the illusion of control. You can’t control other people. You can’t control the past. You can’t even control what’s going to happen tomorrow. What you can control is how you respond. That’s where your power is.
  4. Reframe fear – Fear is just your mind projecting worst-case scenarios. Instead of running from it, question it. What’s the absolute worst that can happen? Can you survive it? Probably. Fear loses its grip when you face it head-on.
  5. Adopt an ‘I’ll handle it’ mentality – Whatever happens, tell yourself: “I’ll handle it.” Because you will. Even if it’s messy. Even if it sucks. You will handle it. And that’s all you need to know.
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Final thoughts

Courage isn’t separate from the other Stoic virtues. It works alongside wisdom, justice, and temperance. Without wisdom, courage becomes recklessness. Without justice, courage can turn into selfish ambition. Without temperance, it can become passion. They balance each other out.

Ultimately, courage isn’t about being fearless. It’s about showing up despite the fear. Facing reality without turning away. Choosing to act when it’s easier to avoid.

And when you start living like that—when you stop waiting to be fearless and start acting with courage—something shifts. You realize that most of the things you were afraid of were never that scary to begin with. That you were always stronger than you thought. And that real courage isn’t about being a warrior in battle. It’s about being a warrior in life.

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The best books on Stoicism

Explore our curated collection of the top-rated and latest books on Stoicism.

Memorialize your commitment

Explore our collection of Stoic coins and other apparel.

Spread the word and share the love 🙏

If you enjoyed this article, consider sharing it with your friends and followers on social media. Your support means the world to us. 💖 Click on the social share icons below and let others discover the insights, tips, and inspiration you found here. Together, we can create a community of like-minded individuals who practice mindfulness and Stoicism.

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Debunking 8 Common Misconceptions About Stoicism: What It Really Means To Be A Stoic

Debunking 8 Common Misconceptions About Stoicism: What It Really Means To Be A Stoic

I blame the English dictionary for a good chunk of the misconceptions about Stoicism. Look up the word ‘stoic’ there and you’ll find something like, “a person who can endure pain or hardship without showing their feelings or complaining.” Or maybe it’s the wealth of social media accounts that associate imagery of ultra rugged men alongside quotes from famous Stoics. Whatever the reason, there is quite a bit of misconception about Stoicism out there. This article clears up eight common misconceptions about Stoicism.

1. “Stoics suppress their emotions and feel nothing.”

It’s a common misunderstanding to think that Stoicism advocates repressing emotions entirely. Stoics, practitioners of Stoicism, that is, aim to cultivate “apatheia” (freedom from destructive emotions) rather than apathy in the modern sense. They don’t ignore emotions. Rather, they strive to understand them, master them, and respond in ways that align with virtues and their values. Believing Stoicism is about “not showing emotions” oversimplifies this rich and practical philosophy focused on emotional resilience and balance.

2. “Stoicism is all about ‘toughing it out’ and self-denial.”

Stoicism is about resilience. It’s not gritting your teeth, rise and grind, or living an austere life for its own sake. Stoics value tranquility and happiness, which come from aligning actions with virtues like wisdom, courage, and justice—not merely from enduring hardship. The idea is to manage desires and focus on what truly matters rather than forcing yourself to “tough it out”.

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3. “Stoics believe in fate, so everything is predetermined.”

Stoics accept that many aspects of life are outside our control, which is why they focus on mastering their responses to life’s ups and downs. But they also believe in the power of personal agency within those boundaries. Saying Stoics are “fatalistic” misses the mark; they work actively to respond to life rationally and virtuously, despite the unpredictability of the world.

4. “Stoicism is about positive thinking.”

Stoicism is not about positivity in the “conceive, believe, achieve” self-help sense. Instead, it teaches rationality, groundedness, and acceptance. While Stoics cultivate a calm acceptance of life’s ups and downs, they are not advocates of optimism without reason. Stoicism is actually more about seeing things as they are and focusing on what can be controlled, rather than “thinking positively” about everything.

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5. “The goal of Stoicism is to be ‘unaffected’ by anything.”

While Stoics aim to cultivate inner calm, this doesn’t mean they strive to be completely detached or indifferent. Their goal is not to feel nothing but to reduce the sway of excessive emotions. Stoicism teaches us to engage with the world—just not to be dominated by impulses and passions. Their teachings focus on appropriate responses to emotions rather than avoiding emotions altogether.

Related article: Ataraxia: How Stoics Achieve Equanimity

6. “If you’re a Stoic, you don’t care about other people.”

Some interpret Stoicism as a cold, self-centered philosophy. This couldn’t be further from the truth. Stoics care deeply about the common good and human interconnection. They advocate treating others fairly, acting justly, and fulfilling one’s role in society to make the world a better place. 

Related article: Interconnection & Its Connection With Stoicism

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7. “Marcus Aurelius and Seneca were perfect Stoics, so we should emulate them exactly.”

Stoics see even these figures as imperfect practitioners who strove to live by their principles. Anyone who practices Stoicism will struggle and fall short sometimes. Stoicism isn’t about hero-worship; it’s about continuously striving toward self-improvement, understanding that perfection is out of reach.

8. “Stoicism is a ‘hack’ for modern productivity.”

Stoic techniques like the dichotomy of control or negative visualization can help with focus and resilience, but framing it as a “life hack” for productivity trivializes the philosophy. Stoicism is fundamentally about cultivating inner virtue, moral character, and alignment with your own values, not just getting more done in the day. 

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Final thoughts 

I’ve definitely made mistakes in writing about Stoicism and trying to incorporate its teachings into my personal conduct. I’m no historian. I’ve read books like Lives of the Stoics by Ryan Holiday (paid link) to gain historical perspective, but I only remember a handful of names and dates. That’s OK. What matters is that I’m trying to develop my character and Stoicism continues to be a useful framework for doing that. If you’re new or not-so-new to Stoicism, hopefully this article has cleared up some common misconceptions about Stoicism, and hopefully that helps you discover its purpose, which is to help you live a principled life. 

Save 46% on Deep Work by Cal Newport

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Guided Sleep Meditation: A Stoic Approach to Restful Nights

Sleep may just be the most important input to human health, yet it often eludes us. I’ve certainly had my struggles with sleep. With all the rushing, scrolling, and multitasking we do, it’s no wonder many struggle to find the calm needed to drift into restorative...

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The best books on Stoicism

Explore our curated collection of the top-rated and latest books on Stoicism.

Memorialize your commitment

Explore our collection of Stoic coins and other apparel.

Spread the word and share the love 🙏

If you enjoyed this article, consider sharing it with your friends and followers on social media. Your support means the world to us. 💖 Click on the social share icons below and let others discover the insights, tips, and inspiration you found here. Together, we can create a community of like-minded individuals who practice mindfulness and Stoicism.

👉 Remember, a simple click can make a big difference!

The Three Stoic Disciplines: Desire, Action, and Assent

The Three Stoic Disciplines: Desire, Action, and Assent

Stoicism is a guiding framework in my life, but so is business. I can think of no better school of thought than business when it comes to manifesting ideas into reality—big, complex ideas. Schools of business and businesses in practice are fountains of knowledge when it comes to organization, efficiency, and scalability. They provide frameworks on how to approach enormous challenges. Philosophy is like this, too. It gives us direction. Imagine I wake up one day and say, ‘Today, I’m going to start living better.’ It’s a great intention, but it’s laughably unspecific. Now, imagine I share the same statement with a trusted mentor. They would probably ask, ‘How are you going to do this?’ I might reply with, ‘I’ll start exercising, eating better, and reading more instead of watching YouTube.’ The mentor would likely ask, again, ‘How are you going to do this?’ 

 

Living well is no small feat, especially if we’re trying to reverse a tendency of living unwell that we’ve built up over years. This is why it’s useful to unpack philosophies like Stoicism and discuss their distinct teachings. One such teaching is the Three Stoic Disciplines. Doing this regularly gives us that structure that we so often lack when trying to mount a major change in our lives. Let’s explore the Three Stoic Disciplines here, and I hope that we can all revert to them whenever we’re feeling a bit lost or when we waver from our good intentions.

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The Stoic Discipline of Assent

 

The three Stoic disciplines come in no particular order, but I lead here with the Stoic discipline of Assent because I believe it is both the most fundamental of them all and the one that causes the most confusion. 

 

Assent is not a word we use every day. The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines it as, “an act of agreeing to something especially after thoughtful consideration.” The Stoic discipline of Assent teaches us not to give our assent to first impressions of events. It’s the act of withdrawing our assent from our first impressions. In other words, we should not ‘agree’ with or be led along by our first impressions or initial reactions.

 

I don’t like the word Assent to describe this Stoic discipline because unlike the other two disciplines, assent is a negative—giving assent to first impressions is what we should not do. I’m not the only one. Other practitioners and scholars of Stoicism refer to the Stoic discipline of Assent as ‘Stoic mindfulness’, because it is arguably a more useful and intuitive term. 

 

Stoic mindfulness, as a term, communicates the skill required to have the effect we’re looking for, which is not reacting on impulses. Mindfulness, no matter which tradition we derive it from, is a practice that over time builds the ability to remain calm, measured, and composed when faced with external or internal challenges. 

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Stoic mindfulness is also more useful as a term than Stoic Assent because I don’t know of any handbooks on how to get better at withdrawing assent from your initial impressions. I do, however, know that volumes of practical advice have been written on how to practice mindfulness. I also know that although mindfulness is a comprehensive and challenging life practice, it is simple—simple enough that I can explain how to practice mindfulness in just a few words: try to focus on one thing such as your breath and when you become distracted by thoughts simply return your focus and repeat this for 10-30 minutes a day. 

 

We don’t see imagery of the ancient Stoics like Epictetus, Musonius Rufus, or Marcus Aurelius meditating in lotus position. Maybe they did not meditate this way. But they certainly had the ability to control their responses to tough situations. They exercised restraint. They had the ability to pause for a moment, recall their intentions to live virtuously, and respond (not react) to a situation with equanimity and compassion. In this sense, they were very much practitioners of Stoic mindfulness. 

 

Related article: How To Stay In The Present Moment

 

The Stoic Discipline of Desire 

 

While the Stoics may not have been explicitly famous for mindfulness, the Stoic discipline of Desire is where we find a few hallmarks of Stoicism. To the Stoics, the discipline of desire was all about knowing what and what not to desire. 

 

The Dichotomy of Control was one mechanism the Stoics used to figure out what was worth wanting and what was not. The Dichotomy of Control is the simple exercise of, either through discussion, reflection, or journaling, listing the elements of a situation that are within your control and those that are not in your control. It’s simple, yet powerful. What lies within your control is worth pursuing. What is not within your control should be set aside. 

 

A fundamental skill required to practice the Stoic discipline of desire is acceptance. Although the Dichotomy of Control is a simple exercise, it’s not always easy to let go of those things that are not within your control. Moreover, it’s not easy to be honest with ourselves and admit that certain things are outside of our control. We like to think we can do it all—cram it all in, work a little faster, work a little harder. When we lack the courage and temperance to drastically shave down our list of things we’re actively trying to affect in this world, we suffer. We become overstretched. The things that do deserve our attention suffer, too, because we are distracted by extraneous matters. The Stoic discipline of Desire, the Art of Acquiescence, is fundamentally a tradeoff—you let go of some things so that you can focus on others.

 

Related article: Master The Art Of Acquiescence For Resilience & Perspective

Three candles burning over a black background to represent an article about the three Stoic disciplines

The Stoic Discipline of Action

 

In modern times, the Stoic discipline of Action may evoke imagery of the likes of David Goggins, a former Navy SEAL known for extreme mental toughness and discipline. We may think of him in action, running shirtless while hollering motivational slogans at the camera. Even depictions of the ancient Stoics like Marcus Aurelius that we see on social media show them with unrealistically chiseled bodies, evoking an image of physical strength by way of intense physical activity. 

 

However, more accurate figures to represent the Stoic discipline of Action would be the likes of Mahatma Gandhi, Malala Yousafzai, or lesser-known folks like Holden Karnofsky, co-founder of the charity evaluator GiveWell.

 

The Stoic discipline of Action is Stoic philanthropy. It is closely related to the Stoic virtue of Justice, which reminds practitioners of Stoicism that the study and embodiment of ethics and morals is not a closet practice. We work hard to live better so that our positive actions ripple outward, making the world a better place in small or large ways. We strengthen ourselves so that when someone else is in need, we’re capable of helping. 

watch the pursuit of balance podcast now

There are many things within our sphere of influence that we can do to make the world a better place. For anyone looking for ways to make an impact, I strongly recommend the book Doing Good Better: How Effective Altruism Can Help You Help Others, Do Work that Matters, and Make Smarter Choices about Giving Back by William MacAskill (paid link)

 

Final thoughts 

 

I’ve been writing The Mindful Stoic for nearly five years now. I’ve read dozens of books on Stoicism. I really do try to implement what I’ve been studying in my daily life. Despite some experience under my belt, I still need to return to the fundamentals because I tend to slip back onto an easier path—I waver from my intention to live a principled life. I love teachings like the Three Stoic Disciplines because they are easy to digest. But they’re also so useful. Mindfulness and the ability to respond rather than react to situations, the ability to simplify our desires and focus our energy on what truly matters, and finally, a north star of philanthropy and altruism…. Is there a simpler way to live a meaningful life? 

 

Save 46% on Deep Work by Cal Newport

A Beginner’s Guide To Mindful Breathing: Focus Your Mind, Reduce Stress

Have you ever noticed how little attention we pay to our own breathing? It’s happening every moment, sustaining us, yet most of us go about our days completely unaware of it. That is, until stress tightens our chests or anxiety shortens our breath. Then, suddenly, we...

Guided Sleep Meditation: A Stoic Approach to Restful Nights

Sleep may just be the most important input to human health, yet it often eludes us. I’ve certainly had my struggles with sleep. With all the rushing, scrolling, and multitasking we do, it’s no wonder many struggle to find the calm needed to drift into restorative...

Introduction To Stoicism And Mindfulness

If you're new to mindfulness or Stoicism, we hope you'll find these articles written as introductory resources useful. We aim to answer questions like "What is mindfulness?" and "How can I begin practicing Stoicism?" We hope something here will set you off on your...

Improve Your Focus With Mindfulness- And Science-Based Protocols

I’ve said this before, but I feel it’s important to lead with it here: mindfulness is not a means to an end. Mindfulness is a means to a means—a way of waking up to life. Without mindfulness, so much of life escapes us. Without mindfulness, we’re governed by impulses...

Where Buddhism And Modern Psychology Converge On Mental Wellness

When the average non-Buddhist westerner thinks of Buddhism, they often think of meditation, kindness, and monks with shaved heads in orange robes. But what lies beneath these surface-level artifacts is profound understanding. Few wisdom traditions have delivered as...

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In modern times, we use the word karma in many ways. ‘Ain’t karma a bitch’—meaning what ‘Goes around, comes around.’ It can also refer to the Golden Rule from the Hebrew and Christian Bible: ‘Do unto others what as you would have them do unto you.’ But, in the context...

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Marcus Aurelius died in a cold, dark place, but his last words shined bright with a message of hope: “Go to the rising sun, for I am already setting.” He delivered these words not to a beloved, but to a guard of the night’s watch in his military camp near the...

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  What if there was a way you could train your wisdom and insight? No tools or equipment required. No books to read. No classes to attend. All you’d need is a few minutes each day. Such a means of building a wider perspective and developing clear insight exists....

Right Mindfulness & Right Concentration Of The Eightfold Path

If I were to define Zen Buddhism, I would do so in two four-word sentences:   Absolute attention is prayer. Compassion for all beings.   “Zen teaches nothing. It merely enables us to wake up and become aware. It does not teach; it points. The truth of Zen is...

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Well, the first challenge in understanding the Tao is its definition. Translated literally, 'The Tao' means 'The Way'. The very first verse of this ancient teaching warns that it’s useless to try to define or name The Tao: The Tao that can be toldIs not the eternal...

The best books on Stoicism

Explore our curated collection of the top-rated and latest books on Stoicism.

Memorialize your commitment

Explore our collection of Stoic coins and other apparel.

Spread the word and share the love 🙏

If you enjoyed this article, consider sharing it with your friends and followers on social media. Your support means the world to us. 💖 Click on the social share icons below and let others discover the insights, tips, and inspiration you found here. Together, we can create a community of like-minded individuals who practice mindfulness and Stoicism.

👉 Remember, a simple click can make a big difference!

What Is Modern Stoicism? An Introduction & Essential Practices

What Is Modern Stoicism? An Introduction & Essential Practices

In the eyes of some, the people I’m about to introduce don’t belong in a discussion about modern Stoicism. None of them are self-proclaimed Stoics. But they do display extreme commitment to the four Stoic virtues: courage, temperance, wisdom, and justice. 

 

Yeonmi Park is a North Korean defector who displayed incredible courage in her escape to Seoul and her subsequent opposition campaign against the oppressive North Korean regime, despite the grave danger involved in taking such a stand. 

 

Josh Dubin is a New York lawyer who has dedicated much of his career working for The Innocence Project, which serves justice by giving wrongly convicted people their lives back, many of whom spent decades rotting in prison for having done nothing. 

 

Master Shi Heng Yi of the Shaolin Buddhist tradition is a living embodiment of temperance—striking balance between hard and soft through a blend of rigorous martial arts training and wisdom practices of compassion and meditation. 

 

For modern wisdom, we can turn to William MacAskill, Associate Professor at the University of Oxford. His work focuses on the fundamentals of effective altruism. He’s also a co-founder of the Centre for Effective Altruism and author of the book Doing Good Better: How Effective Altruism Can Help You Help Others, Do Work that Matters, and Make Smarter Choices about Giving Back, which we’ll discuss in further detail later. His work has encouraged countless altruistic actions, but not just any altruistic actions. His work on defining and popularizing effective altruism makes sure charitable efforts are as efficient and effective as possible, saving the most lives per dollar spent. 

This post contains affiliate links, which help us keep the blog afloat. Click here for more information.

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What is modern Stoicism?

 

These modern Stoics show us that you don’t have to have lived in ancient Greece or imperial Rome to be a Stoic. You can be a little girl who grew up literally not knowing what freedom was. You can come from humble beginnings and become one of America’s most effective criminal justice reformers. You can, through practices as accessible as meditation and physical training, cultivate balance between strength and stillness. You can use your cognitive talents to figure out how best to save people’s lives.

 

These people don’t have magic powers, and I’m sure the Stoicism purists out there are scoffing that I’d write about the likes of a Shaolin master in an article about modern Stoicism, but I did so to demonstrate the following point: modern Stoicism is accessible and practical. It fits within our contemporary context. Live in a country with a systematically broken criminal justice system? You can do something about it. Live under an oppressive regime in which the words for ‘freedom’ and ‘justice’ have literally been eradicated? You can escape it and spread the word against it from the other side. Have a body and mind? You can train them to be strong and calm. Have intellectual talents and the privilege of having been born in a first-world country? You can use these advantages to do outsized good in this world. 

 

So what is modern Stoicism? It’s Stoicism for anyone who wants to bring clarity, structure, and purpose to the mission of being the best possible version of themselves in the 21st century. Let’s discuss some core characteristics of modern Stoicism in its most accessible and practical form. 

 

Related article: How To Practice Stoicism: An Introduction & 12 Stoic Practices

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Modern Stoicism is not the study of history

 

I’ve already alluded to the Stoicism purists. They are the ones online commenting scornfully at people’s lack of true understanding of Stoicism—accusing people of subscribing to ‘broicism’. Sure, Stoicism and Hellenistic philosophy in general are deep, deep subjects on which one could write a doctoral thesis. Stoicism has metaphysics. Stoicism has theology. But none of that matters to the average person trying to do better in this life. So please, don’t recoil from Stoicism when you hear debates over the axiology of pleasure and pain and why the Epicureans were wrong. Stoicism can and should be a set of simple guiding principles based on which you can live your life. Take what resonates with you. Leave the rest. For me personally, I find the Dichotomy of Control and the concept of Premeditatio malorum to be particularly helpful foundations of Stoicism. They’re useful as I go throughout my day.

 

Modern Stoics know their core principles 

 

The Stoics were influenced by Socrates, and if the teachings of Socrates could be summed up in two words, they would be ‘Know yourself.’ Today, we don’t give ourselves enough time to think. A modern Stoic takes time to sit down and figure out what’s truly important to them. I argue that the ultimate aim of Stoicism has always been to make the world a better place. But that’s not my ultimate priority. For me, the health, happiness, and peace of my immediate family is my number one priority. My second priority is making the world a better place. I know this. I start each day reminding myself of this. Health, happiness, and peace are my core values. I look for ways I can affect them for the good, starting with myself and family and then circling outward to anyone and everyone. What’s your top priority? A modern Stoic knows.

 

How to practice modern Stoicism

 

I said we would discuss the book Doing Good Better (paid link) by our modern Stoic, William MacAskill. Here we go. The book is a comprehensive guide to effective altruism, which is the practice of directing charitable effort and money to the charitable projects that will be most effective at solving the world’s biggest problems. Effective altruism does not take words like ‘most’ or ‘biggest’ lightly. Instead, it uses modern economics and quantitative data to define them precisely. 

 

In the book, MacAskill writes about how ordinary people should be wise about seemingly mundane decisions, because in almost everything we do there is a way to ‘do good better’. The book is abounding with counter-intuitive wisdom. For example, a young person about to graduate and who wants to do real good in this world would be wise to work for a nonprofit or NGO, right? Well, it depends. What’s the incremental good that person would do by joining a nonprofit at that time? The author explains that it depends on the economic conditions surrounding the problem that nonprofit works on and the supply and demand of that job title. 

 

It also depends on the unique skills and economic circumstances of the young student. There’s a whole section of the book dedicated to a concept of effective altruism called ‘earning to give,’ which states that in many cases for people living in highly developed countries, the most good they can possibly do in this world is not work for an NGO, but instead become highly specialized, get a high-paying job, and donate significant portions of their income to the most effective charities. 

 

This book should be on the shelf of any aspiring modern Stoic. Stoicism is about doing good in this world. From our career choices to what we buy at the supermarket, we all have the capacity and, in Stoicism, the obligation, to make the world a better place. Often, we just don’t know how to do this. This book gives you many, non-obvious ways you can make a positive impact in the 21st century. 

 

Related video: Live Book Club: Doing Good Better by William MacAskill

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Modern Stoicism and mental fortitude 

 

Now, I’m really going to piss off the Stoicism purists by saying modern Stoics should take cold showers (really, it was the Cynics who popularized deliberate cold and heat exposure). But we should. There’s an abundance of scientific evidence, albeit without perfect consensus, that deliberate cold exposure has physical health benefits. It can reduce inflammation. It creates thermogenesis in the body, which promotes weight loss. It creates a lasting increase in dopamine. But that’s not necessarily why we should do it. 

 

Studies also suggest that deliberate cold exposure increases one’s stress tolerance. Getting into an icy bath or a cold shower is stressful, and it should not be done without the advice and guidance of a medical professional, but there’s nothing like cold water for inducing a stress response under controlled conditions. It’s an opportunity to practice remaining calm and resilient under stress. This builds a stress-control skill that translates to real-world conditions. Think of it as a stress inoculation.

 

The same is true for rigorous exercise. People don’t realize it because all we hear is that exercise is so good for you, and of course it is, but exercise is a stress event for the body. If you were to measure the vitals of someone after doing twenty burpees and showed them to a doctor who didn’t know the context, the doctor would tell you this person is likely about to die. But we don’t die. We adapt. We get stronger. Like deliberate cold exposure, exercise is an accessible, zero-cost way to train the mind and body to handle stress. The more we do it under controlled conditions, the better equipped we’ll be when life throws us a curveball. 

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Modern Stoicism and modern CBT 

 

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is a leading modern approach to psychotherapy. Its founder, Aaron Beck, openly referenced Stoicism and other ancient Greek philosophies as sources of insight informing his development of CBT. In ancient Greece and in the offices of psychiatrists today, we’re taught techniques such as ‘decatastrophizing’, which is the practice of explaining external events in plain, concise language.

 

Instead of ‘I lost my job because of xyz and now this and that is going to happen,’ say instead, ‘I lost my job. Now I need to find another one.’ Modern Stoics and/or those consulting with a psychiatrist don’t play into fabricated fears and doubts by asking, ‘What if…?’—’what if this happens?’, ‘what if this person doesn’t love me?’, ‘what if I make a mistake?’ Instead they ask, ‘So what…?’—’if an imagined negative outcome really does occur, how will I handle it?’, ‘what strengths or talents do I possess that I can use to overcome it?’, ‘will I be OK?’. The answer to that last question is almost always yes. 

 

“The soul becomes dyed with the color of its thoughts.” – Marcus Aurelius, Meditations (paid link)

 

Related article: How To Speak Like A Stoic

 

I bring up modern CBT not only to give more credibility to Stoic wisdom, but to make another point about modern Stoicism, which is that modern Stoics are self-reflective. They use journals to assess the day’s events. They meditate. They carve out distraction-free time. But they also do not hesitate to see a psychiatrist, which is arguably the most effective form of self-inquiry. Whether it’s to address a specific problem or simply part of a mental health regimen (not unlike a physical health regimen), modern Stoics seek professional guidance. They also seek teachers and mentors, because a truly wise person knows that no amount of reading and self-discipline can break down the blinders that we ourselves put up. True self-discovery cannot happen in a vacuum. 

 

The pitfalls of memes

 

There are a lot of great content creators out there within the Stoicism niche. I myself post content on social media about Stoicism on The Mindful Stoic’s social accounts. However, I fear that some young people may fall into the trap of following a bunch of Stoicism content creators and subsequently feeling as though they are practicing Stoicism. I’m not saying young people shouldn’t follow Stoicism on social media. There is value in the quotes and memes, but they’re not enough. To be a Stoic is to think, speak, and act like a Stoic. To be a Stoic is to regularly disrupt one’s comfort zone in the name of greater good. 

 

Final thoughts

 

In essence, modern Stoicism is not much different compared to ancient Stoicism. The ancient Stoics, like us, had to balance jobs, families, and politics with their desire to live principled lives. What’s different is the context in which we live. The ancients didn’t have to contend with thousands of sophisticated marketing ads being shoved down their throats each week. They weren’t ‘connected’ 24/7. As I mentioned earlier, I feel modern Stoics should choose the Stoic principles, practices, and virtues that most resonate with them, at least when first starting out. But perhaps the one Stoic concept that is lacking in modern society and is most indispensable for any aspiring Stoic is the reverence of character. The ancient Stoics believed that one’s character was the only thing that can be truly good or bad. So if nothing else, modern Stoics cannot compromise on character. Therefore, they must treat the ingredients of character—thoughts, speech, and actions—as no small matters.

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How To Speak Like A Stoic

How To Speak Like A Stoic

If you’ve mastered the art of peaceful speech, then it is likely that you have a very firm grasp over your guiding principles. If you have mastered the art of the pause in speech, then it is likely that you have clear convictions and great self-confidence. Truthful, loving speech, no matter the circumstances, is a harbinger of self-mastery. In this article, we’ll explore ten ways to speak like a Stoic. We’ll explore how some ancient Stoic practices have been adopted by modern psychiatrists and have come to define some of the most effective behavioral therapies of today. Finally, we’ll examine some of the most useful practices from those modern clinical practices, which will help us think and speak like a Stoic. 

This post contains affiliate links, which help us keep the blog afloat. Click here for more information.

AI-generated image of a male ancient Stoic philosopher speaking into a microphone to represent an article called how to speak like a Stoic

This article draws inspiration from concepts discussed in the book How To Think Like A Roman Emperor by Donald Robertson (paid link), and I must give due credit to the author for his contributions to the ideas presented herein.

10 ways to speak like a Stoic 

 

1. Conciseness: The ability to use a few carefully selected words to clearly and succinctly make your point is a sign of inner clarity.

2. Objectivity: Stoics are truth-seekers. The points they convey are known to be shared reality, based on verifiable facts, not subjective opinion. 

3. Avoid evoking heavy emotion: When speaking with others, refrain from blame. Do not dissect their intentions and actions. Instead, focus on the facts of the matter. 

4. Catastrophizing is a self-fulfilling behavior: Catastrophizing is when we allow the mind’s penchant for storytelling to weave all kinds of fictitious outcomes into a real situation. For example, if one were to lose their job, to catastrophize over it would be to jump to the conclusions that they would also lose their home, their family, and, ultimately, their lives. When we catastrophize like this, we divert precious cognitive resources from the solution and squander our most precious resource, which is time. Losing one’s job does not necessarily lead to catastrophe. Often, in fact, it is an opportunity to realize change and growth.

 

For me, the example I just shared is not hypothetical. I shared the following story with the audience of Stoicon a few years ago. In 2019, I was laid off, along with about 100 coworkers. Many of my colleagues seemed to spend the majority of their remaining days on the job sitting around the kitchen complaining and blaming. It took effort on my part to refrain from joining in, because I could see how engaging in the blaming and the catastrophizing was cathartic. But I resisted. I ensured that every moment of my work day was spent looking for a new job. Eventually, after months of tireless effort, I found a new job. I still have that job, and it is much better than my previous job.

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Character is a Stoic’s currency

 

5. Avoid value judgments: This is a striking similarity with mindfulness. In mindfulness practices, we’re encouraged to refrain from labeling things as good or bad. This is particularly true of our own thoughts during meditation. Labels of good and bad are sticky. They’re incompatible with non-attachment and flow. A simple example: Instead of saying, ‘Oh shit, it’s raining,’ say, ‘It’s raining.’ 

6. Never lie: As mentioned, Stoic speech is about being an instrument for the truth. In Stoicism, a person’s moral character is their most important asset. To lie is to risk this invaluable asset. 

7. Don’t exaggerate: We often think of exaggeration in the context of storytelling. There’s the old trope of a fisherman’s catch getting bigger each time they tell the story. Most often, however, exaggeration occurs internally, in the form of internal dialog. We tend to blow things out of proportion, omit, and amplify. To speak like a Stoic is to think and speak with balance and fairness, adhering to the truth, and never relying on exaggeration to convince or persuade others or ourselves. 

8. Timeliness: They say you should never fire someone on a Friday. You should always fire them on a Monday. If you fire someone right before the weekend, they have no time but their own to process the bad news. If you fire someone on Monday, they have several work days ahead during which they can process. More importantly, other businesses are open for the remainder of the week, meaning if they’re resilient enough, then they can get to work calling on new job prospects immediately. Stoics look for the right moment to speak the truth, and they are abundantly patient when waiting for the right moment. 

9. Courage to speak out: Courage commonly plays out through speech. It takes courage to speak out against what you feel is wrong, especially when doing so may run counter to the mainstream view. Courage is one of the four Stoic virtues, so it is important that we uphold it through our speech, especially since occasions to say the right thing present themselves much more often than occasions to rush into a burning building. 

10. Listen: Stoicism is a social philosophy. It was never meant as a solitary practice. It was meant for people engaged in the world with other people. It was meant for navigating social tension and conflicting interests while trying your best to do good in this world. And to do that—to do good in this world while navigating the desires and interests of all those with whom we share space—we must listen. We must try to understand. As mentioned, Stoics seek the truth. They do not minimize, omit, or amplify. To do this effectively and consistently, they must understand others’ perspectives. Sometimes, this means remaining silent, leaving ample room for others to open up. 

AI-generated image of a female ancient Stoic philosopher speaking into a microphone to represent an article called how to speak like a Stoic

Modern cognitive behavioral therapy

 

Aaron Beck was considered the father of modern Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). In developing this therapeutic framework, still widely and effectively used to treat depression and anxiety disorders, Beck drew upon ancient philosophy. He was inspired by the Socratic method. He cited Epictetus as a direct influence from Stoicism. Unlike other established forms of psychiatry, which relied heavily on psychoanalysis, Beck’s CBT anchored itself in actual problems and solutions. It focuses on real thoughts, actions, and habits by teaching patients to challenge their assumptions about underlying beliefs and preconceived notions. It’s no wonder Beck took inspiration from Stoicism. He saw the value in truth-seeking—in learning to discard the fabrications and unhelpful value judgments we often attach to our thinking. 

 

CBT teaches patients to de-catastrophize by stripping away all the storytelling the mind likes to engage in. It teaches that catastrophizing is a verb. It’s something we do, which is very different from it being an accurate representation of reality. And if it’s something we do, it’s something we can undo. It teaches that catastrophizing is to wonder, ‘What if…?’ whereas de-catastrophizing is to ask, ‘So what…?’ The ‘what if?’ is based on fictitious fabrications of how events will happen to us, whereas the ‘so what?’ is a reality-based assessment of how we’ll respond to the scenario that is most likely to actually happen. 

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Think like a Stoic to speak like a stoic

 

As mentioned in the opening of this article, succinct and deliberate speech is a sign of progress in one’s philosophical training. It’s not easy to speak with clarity consistently, especially as we switch contexts throughout the day, balancing the demands of home life with work responsibilities. This article is indeed about how to speak like a Stoic, but the Stoics knew that it is arguably more important to apply the ten practices for Stoic speech to our own internal dialog—to our thoughts. 

 

Marcus Aurelius said, “Do not be overheard complaining… not even to yourself.” This is one of my favorite Stoic quotes, because I’m reminded of it often. It serves me as a reminder that as an impartial observer of my thoughts, I can see how value judgments of events and circumstances are quite deceptive. I know I’m grateful for all the abundance in my life. I know I’m capable of handling just about anything life throws my way. It’s just that sometimes my mind likes to obfuscate the goodness that is always there in abundance in my life. The quote also reminds me that often all we need is a little mindfulness to shift our perspective towards a more positive one. 

 

So to say the Stoics advised us not to complain is an oversimplification. They actually advised us to use mindful awareness to observe how thoughts, especially value judgments, can distract ourselves from the innate good and simplicity that surrounds us. In his Handbook, Epictetus advised his students to speak to their thoughts, “You’re just a feeling and not really the thing you appear to represent.” 

 

Modern CBT is largely based on careful observation of our inner dialog, taking ownership over our value judgments, and using less poignant language to describe events factually to ourselves and to others. 

Cognitive distancing 

 

Here are a few modern CBT techniques for examining your thoughts and seeing fresh perspectives. These protocols are part of a general approach of CBT known as cognitive distancing. 

 

  1. Capture thoughts as they arise and jot them down succinctly.
  2. Write thoughts onto a whiteboard and observe them literally from afar.
  3. Prefix thoughts with a phrase like, ‘Right now, I notice that I am thinking X.’
  4. Analyze impartially the pros and cons of holding a particular viewpoint.
  5. Outline a troubling scenario using plain language, emphasizing the factual details.
  6. Track the frequency of specific thoughts using a tally system.
  7. Adopt different viewpoints and explore various perspectives on a given scenario.

Final thoughts 

 

There are few instruments as powerful as the human voice. It has the power to unite. It has the power to harm. A voice can move us through poetry or song. A voice can start a war. A voice can be the most comforting thing on Earth. In everyday life, your voice is no trivial thing. You must be diligent and purposeful with your speech to ensure that it promotes peace and not harm. The same principles of Stoic speech—conciseness, objectivity, and de-catastrophizing, to rename just a few—apply to your internal dialog just as well. Because just as your external speech has the power to harm or heal, your thoughts have the power to color your experience of life itself. 

 

Credits: 

I relied heavily on the book How To Think Like A Roman Emperor by Donald Robertson (paid link) when researching this article.

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Explore our curated collection of the top-rated and latest books on Stoicism.

Memorialize your commitment

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Spread the word and share the love 🙏

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What The Death Of Marcus Aurelius Teaches Us About Life

What The Death Of Marcus Aurelius Teaches Us About Life

Marcus Aurelius died in a cold, dark place, but his last words shined bright with a message of hope: “Go to the rising sun, for I am already setting.” He delivered these words not to a beloved, but to a guard of the night’s watch in his military camp near the frontline of war. We know quite a bit about the death of Marcus Aurelius. We have descriptions of his demeanor. There are records of his final deeds and words. We, the readers of history, have the advantage of retrospection. So, in this article, let us study Marcus Aurelius’ death to see if we learn something about life. We’ll look back together at how this man, the last of the great Stoics and great Roman Emperors, returned to nature in harmony with virtue and reason—how he died as any good Stoic lives. 

 

“Do not act as if you were going to live ten thousand years. Death hangs over you. While you live, while it is in your power, be good.” – Marcus Aurelius, Meditations (paid link)

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How did Marcus Aurelius die?

 

It was 180 AD, nearing the end of winter at the front of a brutal war with northern tribes in what is modern-day Vienna. It was there that Marcus contracted the Antonine plague. War and disease. These were the chief executioners that killed millions during Marcus’ lifetime. So throughout his life, beginning with the loss of his father when he was just three, Marcus had become familiar with death. He outlived eight of his thirteen children. He lost his wife of thirty-five years. 

 

Accounts of his final six days tell us that he faced the end with calm and indifference. But we also know that this acceptance didn’t come naturally to Marcus. It wasn’t an inherent quality he was born with. As a boy, he once wept over the death of his beloved tutor so uncontrollably that those involved in his early grooming to become emperor questioned whether he was fit for the title. 

 

So, as with all of us, he learned from experience. With each loss, he gained perspective. He had many opportunities to see and feel, first hand, what his Stoic teachers taught: that to accept death is to free oneself. To accept death is the highest use of reason, and to the Stoics, to live with reason was the ultimate goal. 

 

Nature bestowed upon us the gift of reason. It’s the gift that gives us agency. It allows us to choose to circumvent base desires and instead choose the more difficult path towards the greater good. It allows us to stare down fear and move forward despite it. Since death is among the most certain of all things, accepting it is among the most reasonable of choices.

 

Do not say of anything, ‘I have lost it,’ but rather, ‘I have given it back.’ Has your wife died? You have given her back. Has your child died? You have given him back. Have you lost your home? You have given it back. ‘But…,’ you may retort, a bad person took it. It is not your concern by what means something returns to the source from which it came, for as long as the source entrusts something to your hands, treat it as something borrowed, like a traveler at an inn.” – Epictetus, The Manual (paid link)

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The death of Marcus Aurelius: practicing until the end

 

Marcus didn’t just passively accept his failing health in those final days. He continued to practice and display virtue. He was practicing wisdom when he asked his physicians to describe in great detail each of his symptoms and how the disease was slowly choking his organs. He wanted to lean into the truth. 

 

Upon seeing his reflection in a porcelain mirror, he engaged in an old Stoic practice of imagining his predecessors staring back at him. He visualized the decayed faces of his adopted father and grandfather. Again, he leaned into his fate, rather than distracting himself from it. 

 

At one point in those final days, surrounded by his remaining children and closest advisors, he suddenly lost consciousness mid speech. His physicians were able to rouse him, and, upon waking, he found some of his children crying hysterically, fearing that he had just passed. Seeing this reminded him of the times that he, too, violently wept over the losses of those he loved. But even in this moment of unsurpassed weakness, he had the courage and wisdom to redirect the room toward forward momentum. He urged them not to lament the inevitable. Instead, he directed them to focus on what would be his final mission. 

 

Related article: Summary of Marcus Aurelius’ Meditations: The Most Popular Parts

A mosaic-style image of Marcus Aurelius on horse-back to represent an article on the death of Marcus Aurelius

Justice until the end 

 

Marcus’ only remaining son, Commodus, was seemingly just days, or even hours, away from succeeding Marcus as Emperor of Rome. But this passage to power would not be a smooth transition, not without taking the correct precautions. 

 

Marcus had seen Commodus falling in with the wrong crowd. He knew his son was not sufficiently resistant against the unhealthy passions of fear and desire. Commodus feared death and desired the comfort of warm baths awaiting him back in Rome. 

 

So Marcus laid there on his deathbed, having just nearly succumbed to a permanent loss of consciousness, to find his closest allies and family members weeping helplessly. He had them swear that they would look after Commodus, that they would keep him away from those tempting him towards the easy path of comfort and pleasure. 

 

It was imperative that Commodus remain at the warfront to oversee its nearing end. Returning back to Rome with the war’s end within sight would signal weakness to Rome’s enemies, emboldening more of them to join the fight. At home, it would signal to the Senate that the new emperor was unfit to rule, which would lead to power-grabs, instability, and, likely, civil war. 

 

So despite his frailty and declining faculties, Marcus held strong onto his final act of justice, which was to put an end to the war and reduce the likelihood of further suffering among all those under his care. He called meetings with his most trusted officials to order them to push Commodus in the right direction. He counseled Commodus on the vital importance of his next moves. 

 

As he neared even closer to the end, he did all he could within his sphere of influence to make the world a better place—to act, despite being bedridden, with courage, justice, and wisdom. His failing body was no longer under his control, and to that, he acquiesced.

 

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Life lessons from the death of Marcus Aurelius

 

So we must approach death the same way we ought to approach life. We should seek truth and take steps to uphold that truth in our speech and actions. We should embrace fate in all its glorious mystery. We should always choose the path, no matter how arduous, towards peace and reconciliation. 

 

We prepare for death by living. If we live a long life of genuine commitment to upholding values and virtues, then we’ll know what to do when death approaches. Afterall, the final days are days not unlike any other day. There will be things to say. Things to do. Choices to make.

 

We may see ‘memento mori’ quotes on social media and think that Stoicism is morbid—that Stoics are nonchalant about death. But ultimately, Stoicism teaches us to live with forward momentum, propelled by our intimate understanding of the finite nature of everything, promoting as much positive change along the way as we can. The lessons learned over the course of a life lived this way will grant us the skills to not only accept death when it comes, but to live it—to experience what is ultimately a return to nature, a return to our source. 

 

“It is not death that a man should fear, but he should fear never beginning to live.” – Marcus Aurelius, Meditations (paid link)

Credits: 

I relied heavily on the book How To Think Like A Roman Emperor by Donald Robertson (paid link) when researching this article.

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