Stoicism is a guiding framework in my life, but so is business. I can think of no better school of thought than business when it comes to manifesting ideas into reality—big, complex ideas. Schools of business and businesses in practice are fountains of knowledge when it comes to organization, efficiency, and scalability. They provide frameworks on how to approach enormous challenges. Philosophy is like this, too. It gives us direction. Imagine I wake up one day and say, ‘Today, I’m going to start living better.’ It’s a great intention, but it’s laughably unspecific. Now, imagine I share the same statement with a trusted mentor. They would probably ask, ‘How are you going to do this?’ I might reply with, ‘I’ll start exercising, eating better, and reading more instead of watching YouTube.’ The mentor would likely ask, again, ‘How are you going to do this?’ 

Living well is no small feat, especially if we’re trying to reverse a tendency of living unwell that we’ve built up over years. This is why it’s useful to unpack philosophies like Stoicism and discuss their distinct teachings. One such teaching is the Three Stoic Disciplines. Doing this regularly gives us that structure that we so often lack when trying to mount a major change in our lives. Let’s explore the Three Stoic Disciplines here, and I hope that we can all revert to them whenever we’re feeling a bit lost or when we waver from our good intentions.

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The Stoic Discipline of Assent

The three Stoic disciplines come in no particular order, but I lead here with the Stoic discipline of Assent because I believe it is both the most fundamental of them all and the one that causes the most confusion. 

Assent is not a word we use every day. The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines it as, “an act of agreeing to something especially after thoughtful consideration.” The Stoic discipline of Assent teaches us not to give our assent to first impressions of events. It’s the act of withdrawing our assent from our first impressions. In other words, we should not ‘agree’ with or be led along by our first impressions or initial reactions.

I don’t like the word Assent to describe this Stoic discipline because unlike the other two disciplines, assent is a negative—giving assent to first impressions is what we should not do. I’m not the only one. Other practitioners and scholars of Stoicism refer to the Stoic discipline of Assent as ‘Stoic mindfulness’, because it is arguably a more useful and intuitive term. 

Stoic mindfulness, as a term, communicates the skill required to have the effect we’re looking for, which is not reacting on impulses. Mindfulness, no matter which tradition we derive it from, is a practice that over time builds the ability to remain calm, measured, and composed when faced with external or internal challenges. 

Stoic mindfulness is also more useful as a term than Stoic Assent because I don’t know of any handbooks on how to get better at withdrawing assent from your initial impressions. I do, however, know that volumes of practical advice have been written on how to practice mindfulness. I also know that although mindfulness is a comprehensive and challenging life practice, it is simple—simple enough that I can explain how to practice mindfulness in just a few words: try to focus on one thing such as your breath and when you become distracted by thoughts simply return your focus and repeat this for 10-30 minutes a day. 

We don’t see imagery of the ancient Stoics like Epictetus, Musonius Rufus, or Marcus Aurelius meditating in lotus position. Maybe they did not meditate this way. But they certainly had the ability to control their responses to tough situations. They exercised restraint. They had the ability to pause for a moment, recall their intentions to live virtuously, and respond (not react) to a situation with equanimity and compassion. In this sense, they were very much practitioners of Stoic mindfulness. 

Related article: How To Stay In The Present Moment

The Stoic Discipline of Desire 

While the Stoics may not have been explicitly famous for mindfulness, the Stoic discipline of Desire is where we find a few hallmarks of Stoicism. To the Stoics, the discipline of desire was all about knowing what and what not to desire. 

The Dichotomy of Control was one mechanism the Stoics used to figure out what was worth wanting and what was not. The Dichotomy of Control is the simple exercise of, either through discussion, reflection, or journaling, listing the elements of a situation that are within your control and those that are not in your control. It’s simple, yet powerful. What lies within your control is worth pursuing. What is not within your control should be set aside. 

A fundamental skill required to practice the Stoic discipline of desire is acceptance. Although the Dichotomy of Control is a simple exercise, it’s not always easy to let go of those things that are not within your control. Moreover, it’s not easy to be honest with ourselves and admit that certain things are outside of our control. We like to think we can do it all—cram it all in, work a little faster, work a little harder. When we lack the courage and temperance to drastically shave down our list of things we’re actively trying to affect in this world, we suffer. We become overstretched. The things that do deserve our attention suffer, too, because we are distracted by extraneous matters. The Stoic discipline of Desire, the Art of Acquiescence, is fundamentally a tradeoff—you let go of some things so that you can focus on others.

Related article: Master The Art Of Acquiescence For Resilience & Perspective

The Stoic Discipline of Action

In modern times, the Stoic discipline of Action may evoke imagery of the likes of David Goggins, a former Navy SEAL known for extreme mental toughness and discipline. We may think of him in action, running shirtless while hollering motivational slogans at the camera. Even depictions of the ancient Stoics like Marcus Aurelius that we see on social media show them with unrealistically chiseled bodies, evoking an image of physical strength by way of intense physical activity. 

However, more accurate figures to represent the Stoic discipline of Action would be the likes of Mahatma Gandhi, Malala Yousafzai, or lesser-known folks like Holden Karnofsky, co-founder of the charity evaluator GiveWell.

The Stoic discipline of Action is Stoic philanthropy. It is closely related to the Stoic virtue of Justice, which reminds practitioners of Stoicism that the study and embodiment of ethics and morals is not a closet practice. We work hard to live better so that our positive actions ripple outward, making the world a better place in small or large ways. We strengthen ourselves so that when someone else is in need, we’re capable of helping. 

There are many things within our sphere of influence that we can do to make the world a better place. For anyone looking for ways to make an impact, I strongly recommend the book Doing Good Better: How Effective Altruism Can Help You Help Others, Do Work that Matters, and Make Smarter Choices about Giving Back by William MacAskill (paid link). 

Final thoughts 

I’ve been writing The Mindful Stoic for nearly five years now. I’ve read dozens of books on Stoicism. I really do try to implement what I’ve been studying in my daily life. Despite some experience under my belt, I still need to return to the fundamentals because I tend to slip back onto an easier path—I waver from my intention to live a principled life. I love teachings like the Three Stoic Disciplines because they are easy to digest. But they’re also so useful. Mindfulness and the ability to respond rather than react to situations, the ability to simplify our desires and focus our energy on what truly matters, and finally, a north star of philanthropy and altruism…. Is there a simpler way to live a meaningful life? 

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In the pivotal Game 5 of the 1997 NBA Finals, Michael Jordan battled a severe flu, yet soared to iconic heights. Against the surging Utah Jazz, he defied physical limits, sinking clutch shots and leading the Chicago Bulls to a crucial victory. His resilience showcased the essence of a true basketball legend, etching the “Flu Game” into sporting history. Would Jordan have preferred to be healthy for that game? Of course. But he treated his symptoms with indifference. Most importantly, he showed up—he acted in accordance with his values. He played the game with skill despite battling dispreferred indifferents. In this article, we’ll unpack the concept indifferents in Stoicism. Once we get past the somewhat paradoxical feel of terms like “preferred indifferents” and “dispreferred indifferents”, you’ll find that the Stoic concept of indifferents is simple and immensely useful for navigating the ups and downs of life.

“We have the potential for it [to live a good life]. If we can learn to be indifferent to what makes no difference.” – Marcus Aurelius, Meditations (paid link)

Related article: How To Practice Stoicism: An Introduction & 12 Stoic Practices

What are the indifferents of Stoicism? 

In Stoicism, “indifferents” are external circumstances, possessions, and events that are neither inherently good nor bad, because the only things that can be inherently good or bad are virtue and character. To practicing Stoics, the only thing that is not to be treated with indifference is your moral character. 

If Michael Jordan had played that Game 5 despite a crushing flu, led his team with heroic play to a lead late in the game, but then had somehow cheated in the dying seconds, it would all be for nothing. His resilience would have been forgotten. Only his misdemeanor would have remained on record. 

One of the reasons Stoicism endures as a popular philosophy today is its practicality. The founding Stoics realized that it’s unrealistic to not have preferences. Of course, we play the game to win, but we do not cheat, turn a blind eye to suffering that we could prevent, or engage in obsessive desire. This is why the Stoics developed the concepts of “preferred indifferents” and “dispreferred indifferents”.

“There is great difference between joy and pain; if I am asked to choose, I shall seek the former and avoid the latter. The former is according to nature, the latter is contrary to it. So long as they are rated by this standard, there is a great gulf between; but when it comes to a question of the virtue involved, the virtue in each case is the same, whether it comes through joy or through sorrow.” – Seneca

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Preferred indifferents 

Preferred indifferents in Stoicism refer to things which are considered indifferent in themselves but are preferred because they can contribute to a virtuous life. You can be healthy, fit, and bursting with energy, but if you got that way by spending twenty hours a week at the gym while your partner is at home struggling to keep up with the kids, then you are of poor character—you were ignorant of the concept of “preferred indifferents”. Conversely, if you are healthy because you take care of yourself moderately and fulfill your primary duties in life, then health is a benefit which supports your ability to live virtuously. The Stoics used this label of preferred indifferent not as a paradox. They used it to remind us that it’s natural to prefer health over illness, but even health cannot come at the expense of good character. 

Indifferent to gain

There are endless ways to become wealthy in exchange for one’s character. Of course, it’s better to have money than to not have it. Poverty is a health risk. But the Stoics would deplore the young man who sets the standard for weakness in his neighborhood by selling drugs—becoming a poor role model for all the younger eyes observing him. Similarly, the businessperson who exchanges a few hundred extra tons of CO2 emissions to cut expenses is no Stoic. 

Indifferent to pleasure

Sex is probably the ultimate preferred indifferent. It can be the source of intimacy, passion, and ecstasy in a mutual loving relationship. But it can also drive people to their worst. It’s the impetus for frustration, infidelity, and, tragically, human trafficking. The ancient Stoics would encourage you to have good sex, and often, as long as it didn’t curtail your virtues.

Dispreferred indifferents 

Dispreferred indifferents in Stoicism refer to circumstances, such as poverty or illness, which are considered indifferent in themselves but are dispreferred because they can pose challenges to living a virtuous life. The Stoics were wise to acknowledge that some things in life are best avoided. Aversion responses are encoded in our DNA. We wouldn’t have come far as a species if we didn’t learn to avoid predators, poisons, and dangerous people. 

Indifferent to loss 

Most wealthy people are not stress free. They don’t need to worry about the bills or whether they’ll be able to afford gifts for special occasions. But they do worry about losing those capabilities. They worry about mutual fund management fees and stock prices. They worry about transferring their wealth to the next generation. These worries are dispreferred indifferents. But if the desire to grasp onto one’s wealth prevents them from living virtuously—living for the betterment of the world around them—then they exceed the realm of indifferents and become a problem. 

Much excessive grasping and aversion stems from failure to recognize the impermanent nature of everything, as Epictetus reminds us: 

“What if things, objects, and beings that delight your mind are of good practical use, or which you dearly love? Remind yourself of their true nature, beginning with the smallest trifle and working upward. If you have a favorite cup, remember that it is only a cup that you prefer. If it is broken, you can bear it. When you embrace your wife or child, remember that they are mortal beings. By accepting their nature, rather than denying it, if either should die you will find the strength to bear it.”

Personally, I have a hard time with this sharp turn from losing one’s favorite cup to losing one’s child. As a new father, it doesn’t sit well. But I can see the wisdom in accepting rather than denying. If the unthinkable happened, and a person lost their child, and still had the will to live, they would need acceptance, character, and virtue to keep on going. These would be the branches stretching out over the raging river of sorrow. And everything else would be indifferent.

“Do not say of anything ‘I have lost it,’ but rather ‘I have given it back.’ Has your wife died? You have given her back. Has your child died? You have given him back. Have you lost your home? You have given it back. ‘But…,’ you may retort, a bad person took it. It is not your concern by what means something returns to the source from which it came, for as long as the source entrusts something to your hands, treat it as something borrowed, like a traveler at an inn.” – Epictetus, The Manual (paid link)

Indifferent to pain

When I was young, my mother was in a car accident. Ever since the accident, she has suffered from a chronic pain disorder called fibromyalgia. Growing up, though, I would never have known that she was in near constant pain. She didn’t show it. Instead, she showed up as a mother. My parents divorced when I was ten, so she raised me single handedly from then on and through my (quite) troubled teen years. She’s also one of the most compassionate people I know. Last winter, she spent hours knitting hats and scarves to donate to local homeless shelters. Just the other day she told me how she gave away her late father’s power tools to a man she knows who needed them. 

She’s a Stoic—whether she knows it or not. Despite a severe dispreferred indifferent in the form of a chronic health disorder, she lives virtuously. She strives (and succeeds) to do good.

It’s how we choose to respond to pain that matters. We must reach into our toolkits, pull out fortitude or resilience, and decide to use those tools to help us maintain virtue despite pain. This is how Stoics respond to dispreferred indifferents. 

“Whenever a challenge arises, turn inward and ask what power you can exercise in this situation. If you meet temptation, use self-control. If you meet pain, use fortitude. If you meet revulsion, use patience. In this way, you will overcome life’s challenges rather than be overcome by them.” – Epictetus, The Manual (paid link)

Final thoughts 

I was inspired to lead this article with the Michael Jordan anecdote, because it was Socrates, who was a major influence on early Stoicism, who said that we must play the game of life with skill, but treat the ball with indifference. Don’t be confused by the seemingly paradoxical ring to terms like preferred and dispreferred indifferents. The message is simple: know your highest values—your purpose and virtues—and know them well because nothing is more important. If you uphold your virtues and pleasure and gain come your way, then all the better. If you maintain a strong and compassionate character despite bad things happening to you, then all the better.