What Is Modern Stoicism? An Introduction & Essential Practices

What Is Modern Stoicism? An Introduction & Essential Practices

In the eyes of some, the people I’m about to introduce don’t belong in a discussion about modern Stoicism. None of them are self-proclaimed Stoics. But they do display extreme commitment to the four Stoic virtues: courage, temperance, wisdom, and justice. 

 

Yeonmi Park is a North Korean defector who displayed incredible courage in her escape to Seoul and her subsequent opposition campaign against the oppressive North Korean regime, despite the grave danger involved in taking such a stand. 

 

Josh Dubin is a New York lawyer who has dedicated much of his career working for The Innocence Project, which serves justice by giving wrongly convicted people their lives back, many of whom spent decades rotting in prison for having done nothing. 

 

Master Shi Heng Yi of the Shaolin Buddhist tradition is a living embodiment of temperance—striking balance between hard and soft through a blend of rigorous martial arts training and wisdom practices of compassion and meditation. 

 

For modern wisdom, we can turn to William MacAskill, Associate Professor at the University of Oxford. His work focuses on the fundamentals of effective altruism. He’s also a co-founder of the Centre for Effective Altruism and author of the book Doing Good Better: How Effective Altruism Can Help You Help Others, Do Work that Matters, and Make Smarter Choices about Giving Back, which we’ll discuss in further detail later. His work has encouraged countless altruistic actions, but not just any altruistic actions. His work on defining and popularizing effective altruism makes sure charitable efforts are as efficient and effective as possible, saving the most lives per dollar spent. 

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What is modern Stoicism?

 

These modern Stoics show us that you don’t have to have lived in ancient Greece or imperial Rome to be a Stoic. You can be a little girl who grew up literally not knowing what freedom was. You can come from humble beginnings and become one of America’s most effective criminal justice reformers. You can, through practices as accessible as meditation and physical training, cultivate balance between strength and stillness. You can use your cognitive talents to figure out how best to save people’s lives.

 

These people don’t have magic powers, and I’m sure the Stoicism purists out there are scoffing that I’d write about the likes of a Shaolin master in an article about modern Stoicism, but I did so to demonstrate the following point: modern Stoicism is accessible and practical. It fits within our contemporary context. Live in a country with a systematically broken criminal justice system? You can do something about it. Live under an oppressive regime in which the words for ‘freedom’ and ‘justice’ have literally been eradicated? You can escape it and spread the word against it from the other side. Have a body and mind? You can train them to be strong and calm. Have intellectual talents and the privilege of having been born in a first-world country? You can use these advantages to do outsized good in this world. 

 

So what is modern Stoicism? It’s Stoicism for anyone who wants to bring clarity, structure, and purpose to the mission of being the best possible version of themselves in the 21st century. Let’s discuss some core characteristics of modern Stoicism in its most accessible and practical form. 

 

Related article: How To Practice Stoicism: An Introduction & 12 Stoic Practices

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Modern Stoicism is not the study of history

 

I’ve already alluded to the Stoicism purists. They are the ones online commenting scornfully at people’s lack of true understanding of Stoicism—accusing people of subscribing to ‘broicism’. Sure, Stoicism and Hellenistic philosophy in general are deep, deep subjects on which one could write a doctoral thesis. Stoicism has metaphysics. Stoicism has theology. But none of that matters to the average person trying to do better in this life. So please, don’t recoil from Stoicism when you hear debates over the axiology of pleasure and pain and why the Epicureans were wrong. Stoicism can and should be a set of simple guiding principles based on which you can live your life. Take what resonates with you. Leave the rest. For me personally, I find the Dichotomy of Control and the concept of Premeditatio malorum to be particularly helpful foundations of Stoicism. They’re useful as I go throughout my day.

 

Modern Stoics know their core principles 

 

The Stoics were influenced by Socrates, and if the teachings of Socrates could be summed up in two words, they would be ‘Know yourself.’ Today, we don’t give ourselves enough time to think. A modern Stoic takes time to sit down and figure out what’s truly important to them. I argue that the ultimate aim of Stoicism has always been to make the world a better place. But that’s not my ultimate priority. For me, the health, happiness, and peace of my immediate family is my number one priority. My second priority is making the world a better place. I know this. I start each day reminding myself of this. Health, happiness, and peace are my core values. I look for ways I can affect them for the good, starting with myself and family and then circling outward to anyone and everyone. What’s your top priority? A modern Stoic knows.

 

How to practice modern Stoicism

 

I said we would discuss the book Doing Good Better (paid link) by our modern Stoic, William MacAskill. Here we go. The book is a comprehensive guide to effective altruism, which is the practice of directing charitable effort and money to the charitable projects that will be most effective at solving the world’s biggest problems. Effective altruism does not take words like ‘most’ or ‘biggest’ lightly. Instead, it uses modern economics and quantitative data to define them precisely. 

 

In the book, MacAskill writes about how ordinary people should be wise about seemingly mundane decisions, because in almost everything we do there is a way to ‘do good better’. The book is abounding with counter-intuitive wisdom. For example, a young person about to graduate and who wants to do real good in this world would be wise to work for a nonprofit or NGO, right? Well, it depends. What’s the incremental good that person would do by joining a nonprofit at that time? The author explains that it depends on the economic conditions surrounding the problem that nonprofit works on and the supply and demand of that job title. 

 

It also depends on the unique skills and economic circumstances of the young student. There’s a whole section of the book dedicated to a concept of effective altruism called ‘earning to give,’ which states that in many cases for people living in highly developed countries, the most good they can possibly do in this world is not work for an NGO, but instead become highly specialized, get a high-paying job, and donate significant portions of their income to the most effective charities. 

 

This book should be on the shelf of any aspiring modern Stoic. Stoicism is about doing good in this world. From our career choices to what we buy at the supermarket, we all have the capacity and, in Stoicism, the obligation, to make the world a better place. Often, we just don’t know how to do this. This book gives you many, non-obvious ways you can make a positive impact in the 21st century. 

 

Related video: Live Book Club: Doing Good Better by William MacAskill

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Modern Stoicism and mental fortitude 

 

Now, I’m really going to piss off the Stoicism purists by saying modern Stoics should take cold showers (really, it was the Cynics who popularized deliberate cold and heat exposure). But we should. There’s an abundance of scientific evidence, albeit without perfect consensus, that deliberate cold exposure has physical health benefits. It can reduce inflammation. It creates thermogenesis in the body, which promotes weight loss. It creates a lasting increase in dopamine. But that’s not necessarily why we should do it. 

 

Studies also suggest that deliberate cold exposure increases one’s stress tolerance. Getting into an icy bath or a cold shower is stressful, and it should not be done without the advice and guidance of a medical professional, but there’s nothing like cold water for inducing a stress response under controlled conditions. It’s an opportunity to practice remaining calm and resilient under stress. This builds a stress-control skill that translates to real-world conditions. Think of it as a stress inoculation.

 

The same is true for rigorous exercise. People don’t realize it because all we hear is that exercise is so good for you, and of course it is, but exercise is a stress event for the body. If you were to measure the vitals of someone after doing twenty burpees and showed them to a doctor who didn’t know the context, the doctor would tell you this person is likely about to die. But we don’t die. We adapt. We get stronger. Like deliberate cold exposure, exercise is an accessible, zero-cost way to train the mind and body to handle stress. The more we do it under controlled conditions, the better equipped we’ll be when life throws us a curveball. 

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Modern Stoicism and modern CBT 

 

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is a leading modern approach to psychotherapy. Its founder, Aaron Beck, openly referenced Stoicism and other ancient Greek philosophies as sources of insight informing his development of CBT. In ancient Greece and in the offices of psychiatrists today, we’re taught techniques such as ‘decatastrophizing’, which is the practice of explaining external events in plain, concise language.

 

Instead of ‘I lost my job because of xyz and now this and that is going to happen,’ say instead, ‘I lost my job. Now I need to find another one.’ Modern Stoics and/or those consulting with a psychiatrist don’t play into fabricated fears and doubts by asking, ‘What if…?’—’what if this happens?’, ‘what if this person doesn’t love me?’, ‘what if I make a mistake?’ Instead they ask, ‘So what…?’—’if an imagined negative outcome really does occur, how will I handle it?’, ‘what strengths or talents do I possess that I can use to overcome it?’, ‘will I be OK?’. The answer to that last question is almost always yes. 

 

“The soul becomes dyed with the color of its thoughts.” – Marcus Aurelius, Meditations (paid link)

 

Related article: How To Speak Like A Stoic

 

I bring up modern CBT not only to give more credibility to Stoic wisdom, but to make another point about modern Stoicism, which is that modern Stoics are self-reflective. They use journals to assess the day’s events. They meditate. They carve out distraction-free time. But they also do not hesitate to see a psychiatrist, which is arguably the most effective form of self-inquiry. Whether it’s to address a specific problem or simply part of a mental health regimen (not unlike a physical health regimen), modern Stoics seek professional guidance. They also seek teachers and mentors, because a truly wise person knows that no amount of reading and self-discipline can break down the blinders that we ourselves put up. True self-discovery cannot happen in a vacuum. 

 

The pitfalls of memes

 

There are a lot of great content creators out there within the Stoicism niche. I myself post content on social media about Stoicism on The Mindful Stoic’s social accounts. However, I fear that some young people may fall into the trap of following a bunch of Stoicism content creators and subsequently feeling as though they are practicing Stoicism. I’m not saying young people shouldn’t follow Stoicism on social media. There is value in the quotes and memes, but they’re not enough. To be a Stoic is to think, speak, and act like a Stoic. To be a Stoic is to regularly disrupt one’s comfort zone in the name of greater good. 

 

Final thoughts

 

In essence, modern Stoicism is not much different compared to ancient Stoicism. The ancient Stoics, like us, had to balance jobs, families, and politics with their desire to live principled lives. What’s different is the context in which we live. The ancients didn’t have to contend with thousands of sophisticated marketing ads being shoved down their throats each week. They weren’t ‘connected’ 24/7. As I mentioned earlier, I feel modern Stoics should choose the Stoic principles, practices, and virtues that most resonate with them, at least when first starting out. But perhaps the one Stoic concept that is lacking in modern society and is most indispensable for any aspiring Stoic is the reverence of character. The ancient Stoics believed that one’s character was the only thing that can be truly good or bad. So if nothing else, modern Stoics cannot compromise on character. Therefore, they must treat the ingredients of character—thoughts, speech, and actions—as no small matters.

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The 10 Best Books on Secular Buddhism

The 10 Best Books on Secular Buddhism

Secular Buddhism, a modern interpretation of Buddhist wisdom, is gaining traction among those looking for more mindful awareness, stillness, and personal growth. Rooted in the principles of Buddhism but free from religious dogma, secular Buddhism offers practical tools for navigating life’s challenges with wisdom and compassion. If you’re curious about this approach and eager to delve deeper into its principles, here are what we consider to be the top 10 books on secular Buddhism.

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The Things You Can Only See When You Slow Down by Haemin Sunim

1. The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down by Haemin Sunim

 

By offering guideposts to well-being and happiness in eight areas—including relationships, love, and spirituality—Haemin Sunim emphasizes the importance of forging a deeper connection with others and being compassionate and forgiving toward ourselves. The more than twenty full-color illustrations that accompany his teachings serve as calming visual interludes, encouraging us to notice that when you slow down, the world slows down with you.

 

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Letters from a Stoic by Lucius Annaeus Seneca

2. The Buddha’s Brain: The Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love, and Wisdom by Rick Hanson and Richard Mendius

 

In this groundbreaking book, neuroscientist Rick Hanson and meditation teacher Richard Mendius explore the intersection of Buddhist teachings and modern neuroscience. Through accessible explanations and practical exercises, they reveal how meditation can reshape the brain, fostering resilience, empathy, and well-being.

 

Click here to read more and check prices on Amazon (paid link)

 

When Things Don't Go Your Way by Haemin Sunim

3. When Things Don’t Go Your Way: Zen Wisdom for Difficult Times by Haemin Sunim

 

Drawing on Zen Buddhist philosophy and Sunim’s own experiences, When Things Don’t Go Your Way helps you navigate life’s challenges with resilience and grace. Whether you’re dealing with rejection, uncertainty, loneliness, conflicts in relationships, or burnout—or simply seeking to improve your mental and emotional well-being—Sunim offers a new spiritual perspective, one that helps us face life’s challenges with greater ease and understanding, and offers solace and courage when we need it the most.

 

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Love For Imperfect Things by Haemin Sunim

4. Love for Imperfect Things: How to Accept Yourself in a World Striving for Perfection by Haemin Sunim

 

Many of us respond to the pressures of life by turning inward and ignoring problems, sometimes resulting in anxiety or depression. Others react by working harder at the office, at school, or at home, hoping that this will make ourselves and the people we love happier. But what if being yourself is enough? Just as we are advised on airplanes to take our own oxygen first before helping others, we must first be at peace with ourselves before we can be at peace with the world around us.

 

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Altered Traits by Daniel Goleman

5. Altered Traits: Science Reveals How Meditation Changes Your Mind, Brain, and Body by Daniel Goleman and Richard J. Davidson

 

In the last twenty years, meditation and mindfulness have gone from being kind of cool to becoming an omnipresent Band-Aid for fixing everything from your weight to your relationship to your achievement level. Unveiling here the kind of cutting-edge research that has made them giants in their fields, Daniel Goleman and Richard Davidson show us the truth about what meditation can really do for us, as well as exactly how to get the most out of it.

 

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Why Buddhism is True by Robert Wright

6.Why Buddhism Is True: The Science and Philosophy of Meditation and Enlightenment by Robert Wright

 

Robert Wright, a renowned scholar and journalist, explores the convergence of Buddhist wisdom and modern science in this thought-provoking book. Drawing on evolutionary psychology and cognitive science, he argues that Buddhist meditation techniques offer valuable insights into the nature of human suffering and the quest for happiness.

 

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The Mindful Geek Secular Meditation for Smart Skeptics by Michael W. Taft

7. The Mindful Geek: Secular Meditation for Smart Skeptics by Michael W. Taft

 

Geared towards skeptics and secular practitioners, this book offers a pragmatic approach to mindfulness meditation. Taft, a seasoned meditator and teacher, demystifies meditation and presents it as a practical tool for enhancing focus, resilience, and emotional intelligence in the digital age.

 

Click here to read more and check prices on Amazon (paid link)

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The Mindful Brain by Daniel J. Siegel M.D.

8. The Mindful Brain: Reflection and Attunement in the Cultivation of Well-Being by Daniel Siegel

 

From the author of the internationally-acclaimed best-selling text The Developing Mind, and esteemed leader and educator in the field of mental health, comes the first book ever to integrate neuroscience research with the ancient art of mindfulness. The result is a groundbreaking approach to not simply mental health, but life in general, which shows readers how personal awareness and attunement can actually stimulate emotional circuits in the brain, leading to a host of physiological benefits, including greater well-being, resilience, emotional balance, and improved cardiac and immune function.

 

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Stoic Serenity: A Practical Course on Finding Inner Peace by Keith Seddon

9. Secular Meditation: 32 Practices for Cultivating Inner Peace, Compassion, and Joy by Rick Heller

 

Rick Heller, a secular meditation teacher, offers a diverse range of meditation practices tailored for contemporary practitioners. From mindfulness of breath to loving-kindness meditation, this book provides step-by-step instructions and practical tips for developing a regular meditation practice.

 

Click here to read more and check prices on Amazon (paid link)

Secular Buddhism Eastern Thought for Western Minds by Noah Rasheta

10. Secular Buddhism: Eastern Thought for Western Minds by Noah Rasheta

 

Noah Rasheta, host of the Secular Buddhism podcast, introduces readers to the key concepts of secular Buddhism in this accessible and engaging book. Through stories, analogies, and guided meditations, Rasheta invites readers to explore fundamental Buddhist teachings with an open and skeptical mind.

 

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Final thoughts

Secular Buddhism offers a practical and accessible path to personal growth and inner clarity without the religious dogma. Whether you’re a seasoned practitioner or new to Buddhist teachings, the books we’ve explored in this article above provide valuable insights and guidance for integrating mindfulness, compassion, and wisdom into your daily life. Explore these books on secular Buddhism to take your first step on the path towards self-discovery and growth.

Where Buddhism And Modern Psychology Converge On Mental Wellness

Where Buddhism And Modern Psychology Converge On Mental Wellness

When the average non-Buddhist westerner thinks of Buddhism, they often think of meditation, kindness, and monks with shaved heads in orange robes. But what lies beneath these surface-level artifacts is profound understanding. Few wisdom traditions have delivered as much insight into the nature of the human mind as Buddhism. It’s impossible to know how much of the Buddha’s teachings were actually uttered by him, because they have been debated, refined, and adapted over the centuries. What remains today is a body of practical insight into the human condition. To say that Buddhism and modern psychology go hand-in-hand would be an overstatement. Modern science has, however, corroborated several core Buddhist teachings. Let’s unpack some of the areas in which Buddhism and modern psychology converge. I hope that among the factoids and findings, you’ll extract some value from this article, as it is also written with practical mental well-being protocols in mind.

Nature of the mind 

 

In modern neurobiology, they call it the Cortical Midline Network. In Buddhism, it’s referred to colloquially as the ‘monkey mind’. Both terms can represent the same phenomenon, which is that in most cases the human mind’s default state is one of wandering. This is why psychologists and neurobiologists sometimes refer to the Midline Network of the nervous system as the ‘default mode network’. It’s also why a seemingly simple meditation instruction like ‘focus on the breath’ can be so challenging.

 

In the Buddhist context, the term ‘monkey mind’ comes from the analogy which likens the default nature of the mind to a monkey swinging from branch to branch high up in the canopy. The monkey never stays on one branch for very long before jumping to the next. As it turns out, this is a fairly apt analogy. Studies indicate that when unengaged with a specific task or object of focus, the average person’s mind tends to wander about half the time. These same studies also indicate that these wanderings tend to tilt towards negative thoughts. This has an evolutionary basis. During our long evolution, it was more important to remember where the lions were lurking than where the berries were growing. You can survive a day without berries, but you can’t endure a lion attack. 

 

The Buddha and the Buddhist philosophers that came after him were wise to define the predicament of the wandering mind. Being aware that the mind does this, as it’s running on its predominant default mode, is a major step towards viewing our wandering thoughts as simple constructs of the mind, and not so much as hard reality. It’s a major leap forward when we begin to notice the wandering mind, rather than being led on by it, unaware.

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Awareness and self-reflection

 

I’m a huge fan of The Huberman Lab Podcast. The host, Dr. Andrew Huberman, is a neurobiologist and professor at the Stanford University School of Medicine. His podcast covers a broad range of topics within the sphere of human health and performance. In late 2023, he and his expert guest, psychiatrist Dr. Paul Conti, M.D. did a four-episode series on mental health. In it, Conti described the importance of self-awareness and self-reflection. He described a practice of ‘opening the cupboards’, in which we can, either under the guidance of a trusted psychiatrist or on our own, examine core areas of our existence, such as the unconscious mind, our defense mechanisms, or our ability to channel natural affective states such as anxiety or restlessness into something positive and productive. 

 

In some Buddhist meditative practices, including some forms of mindfulness meditation, we’re instructed to simply observe our thoughts. The formal practice involves noticing thoughts, sensations, and feelings arise, without clinging to them, building upon them with more wandering thoughts, or labeling them as good or bad. The result of such a formal practice is that over time we do become more aware of ourselves. Through this type of meditation, we develop the skill of noticing unhealthy thought patterns, which would have otherwise just entered our experience as apparent reality. 

 

If nothing else, meditation provides a moment of self-reflection. Without self-reflection, we cannot have self-awareness. When mental health challenges arise, it’s crucial to have the ability to openly and honestly identify where things are going off the rails. Conti also spoke about the importance of becoming aware of our thoughts, because thoughts become behaviors, and behaviors become striving. He explained that striving is perhaps the pinnacle of self, because it represents where we spend large amounts of resources. In other words, we are what we strive for (or fail to strive for). And since the great tree of striving starts with the seedling of thought, it’s important to have practices and protocols that develop awareness of thought. Mindfulness meditation and other forms of meditation common in Buddhist traditions are proven means of achieving this type of awareness.

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Agency and the Eightfold Path

 

In those same episodes, Conti defined the two major constituents of happiness or general mental well-being. They are agency and gratitude. He and Huberman discussed at length how agency—our ability to activate our own intrinsic motivation and generative drive to accomplish things out in the real world—is best thought of as a verb. It’s not something we have. It’s something we do. When faced with challenges, we must be able to muster up some degree of response. We have to be able to manipulate and move through our environment to meet our needs. In modern society, this means we’re able to write a resume, contact potential employers, and interview for jobs. It means going to the immigration office to get definitive answers on doubts regarding your visa application. It means starting a regular exercise program because your body needs it. 

 

In Buddhism, too, there is a recognition that we not only have the capacity for agency, but that we must take active steps if we’re to become more peaceful, compassionate humans. The most fundamental teaching in Buddhism is known as the Four Noble Truths. The First Noble Truth simply stated that human suffering was inevitable. To be human is to suffer. We all experience it. The Second Noble Truth identified the causes of suffering: craving, delusion, and ignorance. The Third Noble Truth was the critical step. The Buddha taught that since there was an identifiable cause for suffering, then there had to be an identifiable method for ending human suffering. That method was the Fourth Noble Truth.

Buddhism and modern psychology: Right effort

 

The Fourth Noble Truth was the path to the end of suffering, what the Buddha called the Eightfold Path. The Fourth Noble Truth was a systematic approach to the end of human suffering—the dispelling of ignorance and the liberation of the mind. I won’t get into each of the eight folds of the Eightfold Path, because I have already done that in another article and will be publishing more in-depth looks at each of them in the months to come.

 

Related article: The Eightfold Path: Guidance For Life’s Challenges

 

Essentially, the eight folds provide specific guidance regarding things like our perceptions, thought, speech, actions. One fold of the path is called Right Effort, and it teaches us that none of this comes for free. To become truly compassionate and understanding—to rid ourselves of the cravings, delusions, and ignorance that come with being human—we must accept that it requires our active participation. Then, crucially, we must do the work. So both Buddhism and modern psychology tell us that a fundamental component of mental well-being involves stepping outside our comfort zone and embracing challenges while taking steps out in the real world to improve our behaviors and circumstances. 

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Dukkha and dopamine 

 

In Buddhism, Dukkha is a fundamental concept that is often translated as ‘suffering’. However, there is a lot of division over this translation. Many assert that a more faithful translation would be ‘unsatisfactoriness’. In Buddhism, Dukkha is not limited to pain and discomfort, but it also includes the nuances of unease, restlessness, and a state of longing for things to be different. It is thought that we must cultivate a deeper understanding of impermanence—the open-hearted acceptance that all things are in a constant state of change—to free ourselves from this kind of unsatisfactoriness. 

 

Today, the scientific community has a deep understanding of the neurotransmitter called dopamine. The other day, however, I saw a scammy YouTube ad that opened by saying dopamine is the happiness molecule. This is inaccurate (no surprise, coming from a cheap online ruse) and a common misconception. Rather, dopamine is involved in many core human functions. Notably, it is largely responsible for motivation and reward. It’s the neurochemical that pushes a hungry hunter-gatherer to search for food, no matter how painstaking the search may be. 

Endless chasing

 

Thus, dopamine works to motivate us in anticipation of a reward. This is a critical point, so I want to make it clear. Indeed, dopamine makes us feel good. But it feels best in pursuit of some reward. It’s the drive to the 7-Eleven to get the box of donuts that actually feels better than eating them. It’s the flirting and foreplay before sex. 

 

Dopamine peaks in anticipation of the thing we’re seeking. After we’ve obtained the thing, dopamine dips, often below baseline, which can leave us feeling unsatisfied. This is why no one feels amazing after scarfing down a box of donuts. Evolutionarily speaking, this makes sense. If the fulfillment of eating was everlasting, then we’d never need to eat another meal. 

 

The problem is that dopamine dictates all sorts of behaviors, not just ones fundamental to our survival as a species like eating and having sex. The social media companies know this. A social media scroll is all about anticipation. TikTok is dubiously unfulfilling. It’s nothing but an endless feed of 60-second clips, none of which contain any elements of a real story (which is what we’re unconsciously seeking on there). So it’s all anticipation and no reward.

 

When we engage in multiple unhealthy behaviors like social media scrolling, we gain nothing but a gaping feeling of unsatisfactoriness—of Dukkha—of dopamine crashes with no lasting actual benefits like nutrition or intimacy. So both Buddhism and modern psychology advise us to avoid empty chasing. We need to define limits for ourselves. There’s nothing worse than being trapped in a senseless pursuit of the ever-evasive and never-defined ‘more’. 

 

Buddhism and modern psychology: Feeling whole

 

Dopamine is a good thing. It’s a human thing. It’s OK to pursue things, but those things should be net positive. Exercise is an excellent example. With regular practice, we get a dopamine response in anticipation of exercise, even when just a few weeks before we had dreaded it. But unlike social media and donuts, exercise has a lasting benefit, which makes it the perfect substitute for unhealthy behaviors. 

 

Another excellent substitute for unfruitful chasing is mindfulness meditation. A part of the nervous system called the Lateral Cortical Network (LCT) has been shown to become active when we come into the present moment by means of, for example, paying attention to the bodily senses. The LCT supports interoception, which is the ability to notice sensations and feelings in the mind and body. So it promotes internal awareness, but another incredible thing happens when the LCT is active: the Cortical Midline Network (aka the default mode network), responsible for the ‘monkey mind’ that we discussed earlier, becomes inactive. 

 

When our unintentional, wandering thoughts are suppressed and when we become more aware internally, anchored in the present moment, the ensuing feeling is one of wholeness. It’s amazing how we can cultivate a deep sense of satisfaction simply by focusing on present-moment anchors such as the breath or the bodily senses. A sense of wholeness is the opposite of unsatisfactoriness. The more we can anchor ourselves in the here and now without allowing our monkey mind to run unchecked, the less we’ll engage in the unhealthy pursuit of harmful actions or substances. 

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Compassion and empathy

 

In neuroscience, there’s a saying that has become somewhat of a trope: “neurons that fire together, wire together.” Whether you think it’s a corny phrase or not, it’s true. It stems from our understanding of neural plasticity, which is the irrefutable fact that our brain and nervous system are capable of changing, at any age. When we perform certain actions, behaviors, or even thoughts repeatedly, the specific neural connections involved in those activities become stronger. This is the basis for learning, skill development, and habit-forming. 

 

In his book Neurodharma: New Science, Ancient Wisdom, and Seven Practices of the Highest Happiness (paid link), Rick Hanson, Ph.D. explains that compassion-focused meditation, common in many Buddhist traditions, activates the areas of the brain involved in connection, positive emotion, and reward. Furthermore, he cites a study that measured neural activity in the brains of experienced practitioners of compassion-based meditation. 

 

The study showed that the neural response in these folks when shown an image of another person’s face versus that of being shown an image of their own face was almost identical. It’s an interesting finding, and one that could lead us to conclude that these meditators developed a deep capacity for empathy through their repeated use of the neural pathways involved in connection. Just by sitting and internally repeating phrases of loving kindness towards others was enough to build up pathways in the brain involved in empathy and compassion. 

Buddhism and modern psychology: The physiology of empathy

 

It makes sense. It’s no different than learning to shoot free-throws. You do it thousands of times, you’re going to get good at it. The behavior becomes automatic—etched into the nervous system. The takeaway here is that we can all do this. Compassion-based meditation is simple. You sit and repeat the phrases, ‘May you be healthy. May you be happy. May you be at peace,’ directing them towards specific people or all living beings. 

 

This is one of my go-to meditation practices, so I can share my case study ‘of one’ and attest that it really works. I always feel a deep sense of calm and peace after the practice. Even if I had been annoyed at my wife before beginning the practice, after silently directing these thoughts and words of compassion towards her, I see the ephemeral nature of my annoyance, and remember that my love for her is stronger than whatever relatively small thing had annoyed me.

 

There are scientific explanations for the feeling of calmness that I get from compassion-based meditation. It helps to understand a bit about the vagus nerve. One branch of the vagus nerve is associated with social engagement, whereas the other branch is associated with the heart and lungs. The two are connected, which is why maintaining a calm physical state allows you to be kinder and more open to others. In the same way, focusing on compassion and warmheartedness allows you to feel calmer physically. Deep breathing or other calming practices actually make us more capable of and prone to compassion and empathy. In turn, acts and words of kindness can make us physically calmer. It’s a two-way street. 

Final thoughts

 

Many experts claim that we’re in a mental health crisis. I can see it. I work in a fairly high-pressure environment, and unfortunately, I’ve witnessed more than a few of my colleagues go down with burnout. As a fairly new parent, I’m also a fairly new regular at the neighborhood playgrounds. On more than a few occasions, I’ve noticed other dads pushing their kids on the swings while staring at their phone. It’s one thing to stare at your phone on the bus or waiting in line. But at the playground with your kid? 

 

Buddhism and modern psychology offer much in the way of practical advice for mental wellness. It all starts with understanding. We would all benefit from a little more first-hand observation into how the mind works. This kind of self-awareness doesn’t happen, though, while we’re swiping on a piece of glass covering some microprocessors. It takes some effort, and in some cases, the courage to seek help, but the healing wisdom of the Buddha (or of modern science) is available to all of us to illuminate our path of self-discovery.

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Zeno And The Soup Pot Challenge: A Short Story About Humility

Zeno And The Soup Pot Challenge: A Short Story About Humility

Zeno’s days usually began just before sunrise. Soon after waking, he would descend to the streets, which were still quiet at this hour. He would walk leisurely to his school, watching the city gradually unfold under the cool purple, blue, then golden hues of the rising sun. He would stop and chat with merchants. He would help vendors carrying large packages. 

 

His path to school varied slightly each day. He tended to follow the progression of people as he liked to watch the city waking up. However, there was one row of shops, not far from Zeno’s school, that always attracted his attention: A small vanity district. A series of allies where fine tailors, silk merchants, dye makers, and coiffeurs gathered to do business. 

 

Stopping in the fashion quarter had become a habit of Zeno’s, one that did not go unnoticed by his teacher, Crates 

 

Zeno would spend the better part of the morning trying on robes and clothes dyed in sea-snail purple. He would soak up the compliments that the merchants would shower upon him, forgetting temporarily that their adoration served only their interest to sell. 

 

One day, Crates decided to give his pupil a challenge. When Zeno arrived at the school, Crates handed him an enormous pot of hot lentil soup. The pot was so large and filled to the brim that it required a person’s full strength and reach to carry it. 

 

Crates’ instructions for Zeno were simple: Carry the pot of soup to the agreed location on the other side of town during peak market hours. 

 

Zeno grabbed the great pot and started out on his task, struggling with all his might and concentration to not spill the soup all over his outfit. 

 

He opted for the most obscure of routes, snaking along back alleys and side tracks. The great pot sloshed about, splashing soup and staining his clothes, but he was undeterred. The only witnesses to this embarrassing display of clumsiness and poor hygiene were a few street cats. 

 

At the designated location, Crates had been waiting for Zeno to inspect his pupil’s results. 

 

Zeno arrived. The pot of soup was mostly full. Thus, Zeno was shocked when his teacher informed him that he had failed the challenge. 

 

The next morning, upon arrival at the school, Zeno was greeted not by fellow students, but by another enormous pot of soup. Immediately, he understood that he was meant to reattempt the previous day’s challenge. 

 

This time, Zeno understood that he must take a more direct route through the markets. Again, he strained under the weight of the giant pot. Again, he struggled to keep the soup from spilling. 

 

As he neared the markets, he began to attract attention. People couldn’t help but stop and stare at the large man teetering and wobbling along under the weight of the largest pot of soup they had ever seen. 

 

Just as he reached the city center, his arms began to tire. He was losing control over the great pot. Sheets of soup would splat onto the ground. Splashes of it would end up on his clothing, and, in one or two cases, on the clothing of market-goers. All of this commotion was drawing more and more eyes, gawking, and even some laughter. 

 

Weighed down by not only the enormous pot but also by the scorn of what seemed like the entire market, Zeno decided that he could not carry on that way. He sat the pot down, buried his head between his knees for a moment, and then looked at the stall next to him. The stall was selling wooden bowls, which gave him a fantastically clever idea. Zeno made a deal with the merchant for 100 bowls, and set up a stall of his own. He began selling the hot soup at an excellent price. It took several hours, and in the end the cost of the bowls he had purchased outweighed the earnings from the soup, but at last the giant pot was empty. 

 

He arrived at the agreed destination with the empty pot with a light sense of satisfaction, believing undoubtedly that this time he had passed his teacher’s test. Again, Crates was there waiting. Again, Crates did not approve. 

 

The next day, now somewhat vexed by his repeated failure, Zeno hurried toward the school, more determined than ever to finally pass Crates’ test. For the third day in a row, an enormous bowl of hot soup greeted Zeno at the school’s entrance. This time, Zeno reasoned that he had been too slow in his previous attempts, and so he set off with the massive pot at a hurried pace. 

 

He started off strong and fast. He was fit, but even highly trained bodies have their limits. Zeno’s limit, like the previous day, was reached not long after entering the market district. His arms began to tremble. Soup splashed and sloshed about more furiously than the day before as he hurried along the narrow market streets. It seemed that the humor of the spectacle had worn off. Now, Zeno and his splashing pot of soup were seen as a nuisance. This time, there were angry cries from the crowd. People began to shout at Zeno, calling out his absurdity and clumsiness. 

 

Zeno tried to remain focused, tried to keep up his pace, but he was beginning to falter under the searing pressure of the crowd. 

 

Why would Crates want to humiliate me so?’ he thought to himself.  

 

Then it came to him. A revelation. 

 

He set the big pot down. 

 

‘Of course’, he realized silently, ‘Of course’. 

 

His failures in the past were not because he had been too slow or because he had spilled some soup on his clothing. 

 

At that moment, feeling reinvigorated by his realization, Zeno lifted the great pot over his head, grunting under its immense weight, tipping it over, allowing a giant wave of soup to spill over his head, soaking him entirely from head to toe. 

 

The market froze. 

 

All stopped to stare at this incredible sight. With the captive audience of the entire marketplace, Zeno looked around, soaked and covered in soup, and shouted with a grin, ‘Look at me now! Look at me now!’

 

Upon arriving at the designated meeting point, this time with an empty pot and soaked head to toe in soup, Zeno could already see his teacher’s smile as he approached. 

 

‘Conceitedness was your only obstacle,’ exclaimed Crates, ‘but today you have earned your lesson in humility.’ 

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A short story about humility

 

A famous combat sports coach named Jason Parillo is known for telling his athletes, “You don’t go in the rain without getting wet.” In his world, this means you don’t compete at the highest level in boxing or MMA without getting hit. 

 

In the case of Zeno in our story, he was meant to traverse the market with a giant pot of soup the only way one can traverse the market with a giant pot of soup: while looking foolish. 

 

The same principle applies to our own lives. If we dare to be great at anything, we’re sure to ruffle a few feathers along the way. If we go out there, venturing into the world, there are sure to be obstacles. Some we can avoid, sure. But many are unavoidable. For this latter kind, we must face them head on. 

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How To Speak Like A Stoic

How To Speak Like A Stoic

If you’ve mastered the art of peaceful speech, then it is likely that you have a very firm grasp over your guiding principles. If you have mastered the art of the pause in speech, then it is likely that you have clear convictions and great self-confidence. Truthful, loving speech, no matter the circumstances, is a harbinger of self-mastery. In this article, we’ll explore ten ways to speak like a Stoic. We’ll explore how some ancient Stoic practices have been adopted by modern psychiatrists and have come to define some of the most effective behavioral therapies of today. Finally, we’ll examine some of the most useful practices from those modern clinical practices, which will help us think and speak like a Stoic. 

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AI-generated image of a male ancient Stoic philosopher speaking into a microphone to represent an article called how to speak like a Stoic

This article draws inspiration from concepts discussed in the book How To Think Like A Roman Emperor by Donald Robertson (paid link), and I must give due credit to the author for his contributions to the ideas presented herein.

10 ways to speak like a Stoic 

 

1. Conciseness: The ability to use a few carefully selected words to clearly and succinctly make your point is a sign of inner clarity.

2. Objectivity: Stoics are truth-seekers. The points they convey are known to be shared reality, based on verifiable facts, not subjective opinion. 

3. Avoid evoking heavy emotion: When speaking with others, refrain from blame. Do not dissect their intentions and actions. Instead, focus on the facts of the matter. 

4. Catastrophizing is a self-fulfilling behavior: Catastrophizing is when we allow the mind’s penchant for storytelling to weave all kinds of fictitious outcomes into a real situation. For example, if one were to lose their job, to catastrophize over it would be to jump to the conclusions that they would also lose their home, their family, and, ultimately, their lives. When we catastrophize like this, we divert precious cognitive resources from the solution and squander our most precious resource, which is time. Losing one’s job does not necessarily lead to catastrophe. Often, in fact, it is an opportunity to realize change and growth.

 

For me, the example I just shared is not hypothetical. I shared the following story with the audience of Stoicon a few years ago. In 2019, I was laid off, along with about 100 coworkers. Many of my colleagues seemed to spend the majority of their remaining days on the job sitting around the kitchen complaining and blaming. It took effort on my part to refrain from joining in, because I could see how engaging in the blaming and the catastrophizing was cathartic. But I resisted. I ensured that every moment of my work day was spent looking for a new job. Eventually, after months of tireless effort, I found a new job. I still have that job, and it is much better than my previous job.

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Character is a Stoic’s currency

 

5. Avoid value judgments: This is a striking similarity with mindfulness. In mindfulness practices, we’re encouraged to refrain from labeling things as good or bad. This is particularly true of our own thoughts during meditation. Labels of good and bad are sticky. They’re incompatible with non-attachment and flow. A simple example: Instead of saying, ‘Oh shit, it’s raining,’ say, ‘It’s raining.’ 

6. Never lie: As mentioned, Stoic speech is about being an instrument for the truth. In Stoicism, a person’s moral character is their most important asset. To lie is to risk this invaluable asset. 

7. Don’t exaggerate: We often think of exaggeration in the context of storytelling. There’s the old trope of a fisherman’s catch getting bigger each time they tell the story. Most often, however, exaggeration occurs internally, in the form of internal dialog. We tend to blow things out of proportion, omit, and amplify. To speak like a Stoic is to think and speak with balance and fairness, adhering to the truth, and never relying on exaggeration to convince or persuade others or ourselves. 

8. Timeliness: They say you should never fire someone on a Friday. You should always fire them on a Monday. If you fire someone right before the weekend, they have no time but their own to process the bad news. If you fire someone on Monday, they have several work days ahead during which they can process. More importantly, other businesses are open for the remainder of the week, meaning if they’re resilient enough, then they can get to work calling on new job prospects immediately. Stoics look for the right moment to speak the truth, and they are abundantly patient when waiting for the right moment. 

9. Courage to speak out: Courage commonly plays out through speech. It takes courage to speak out against what you feel is wrong, especially when doing so may run counter to the mainstream view. Courage is one of the four Stoic virtues, so it is important that we uphold it through our speech, especially since occasions to say the right thing present themselves much more often than occasions to rush into a burning building. 

10. Listen: Stoicism is a social philosophy. It was never meant as a solitary practice. It was meant for people engaged in the world with other people. It was meant for navigating social tension and conflicting interests while trying your best to do good in this world. And to do that—to do good in this world while navigating the desires and interests of all those with whom we share space—we must listen. We must try to understand. As mentioned, Stoics seek the truth. They do not minimize, omit, or amplify. To do this effectively and consistently, they must understand others’ perspectives. Sometimes, this means remaining silent, leaving ample room for others to open up. 

AI-generated image of a female ancient Stoic philosopher speaking into a microphone to represent an article called how to speak like a Stoic

Modern cognitive behavioral therapy

 

Aaron Beck was considered the father of modern Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). In developing this therapeutic framework, still widely and effectively used to treat depression and anxiety disorders, Beck drew upon ancient philosophy. He was inspired by the Socratic method. He cited Epictetus as a direct influence from Stoicism. Unlike other established forms of psychiatry, which relied heavily on psychoanalysis, Beck’s CBT anchored itself in actual problems and solutions. It focuses on real thoughts, actions, and habits by teaching patients to challenge their assumptions about underlying beliefs and preconceived notions. It’s no wonder Beck took inspiration from Stoicism. He saw the value in truth-seeking—in learning to discard the fabrications and unhelpful value judgments we often attach to our thinking. 

 

CBT teaches patients to de-catastrophize by stripping away all the storytelling the mind likes to engage in. It teaches that catastrophizing is a verb. It’s something we do, which is very different from it being an accurate representation of reality. And if it’s something we do, it’s something we can undo. It teaches that catastrophizing is to wonder, ‘What if…?’ whereas de-catastrophizing is to ask, ‘So what…?’ The ‘what if?’ is based on fictitious fabrications of how events will happen to us, whereas the ‘so what?’ is a reality-based assessment of how we’ll respond to the scenario that is most likely to actually happen. 

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Think like a Stoic to speak like a stoic

 

As mentioned in the opening of this article, succinct and deliberate speech is a sign of progress in one’s philosophical training. It’s not easy to speak with clarity consistently, especially as we switch contexts throughout the day, balancing the demands of home life with work responsibilities. This article is indeed about how to speak like a Stoic, but the Stoics knew that it is arguably more important to apply the ten practices for Stoic speech to our own internal dialog—to our thoughts. 

 

Marcus Aurelius said, “Do not be overheard complaining… not even to yourself.” This is one of my favorite Stoic quotes, because I’m reminded of it often. It serves me as a reminder that as an impartial observer of my thoughts, I can see how value judgments of events and circumstances are quite deceptive. I know I’m grateful for all the abundance in my life. I know I’m capable of handling just about anything life throws my way. It’s just that sometimes my mind likes to obfuscate the goodness that is always there in abundance in my life. The quote also reminds me that often all we need is a little mindfulness to shift our perspective towards a more positive one. 

 

So to say the Stoics advised us not to complain is an oversimplification. They actually advised us to use mindful awareness to observe how thoughts, especially value judgments, can distract ourselves from the innate good and simplicity that surrounds us. In his Handbook, Epictetus advised his students to speak to their thoughts, “You’re just a feeling and not really the thing you appear to represent.” 

 

Modern CBT is largely based on careful observation of our inner dialog, taking ownership over our value judgments, and using less poignant language to describe events factually to ourselves and to others. 

Cognitive distancing 

 

Here are a few modern CBT techniques for examining your thoughts and seeing fresh perspectives. These protocols are part of a general approach of CBT known as cognitive distancing. 

 

  1. Capture thoughts as they arise and jot them down succinctly.
  2. Write thoughts onto a whiteboard and observe them literally from afar.
  3. Prefix thoughts with a phrase like, ‘Right now, I notice that I am thinking X.’
  4. Analyze impartially the pros and cons of holding a particular viewpoint.
  5. Outline a troubling scenario using plain language, emphasizing the factual details.
  6. Track the frequency of specific thoughts using a tally system.
  7. Adopt different viewpoints and explore various perspectives on a given scenario.

Final thoughts 

 

There are few instruments as powerful as the human voice. It has the power to unite. It has the power to harm. A voice can move us through poetry or song. A voice can start a war. A voice can be the most comforting thing on Earth. In everyday life, your voice is no trivial thing. You must be diligent and purposeful with your speech to ensure that it promotes peace and not harm. The same principles of Stoic speech—conciseness, objectivity, and de-catastrophizing, to rename just a few—apply to your internal dialog just as well. Because just as your external speech has the power to harm or heal, your thoughts have the power to color your experience of life itself. 

 

Credits: 

I relied heavily on the book How To Think Like A Roman Emperor by Donald Robertson (paid link) when researching this article.

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