Ambitious Habit Energy & Finding Rest Anywhere

Ambitious Habit Energy & Finding Rest Anywhere

Thich Nhat Hanh, Zen Buddhist monk and renowned peace activist, writes about habit energy, describing it as the habitual chasing after the future in our thoughts—a blockage of our ability to be in the present moment. If you have ambitions, dreams or aspire to change yourself in any way, then you may have recognized that doing, achieving and accomplishing becomes habitual. Our action-based thoughts, constantly painting themselves with broad strokes on a future canvas, can be as habitual as breathing. They are so habitual that even in our down time we feel as though we should be doing something productive.

Yet we know we need to rest. We know the importance of being present, for the opposite of this is a whirlwind in which life passes us by. We know our work will benefit from stillness. But how can we find it? How can we rest and take stock of the present moment with so much left to be done? This post serves to help us recognize our ambitious habit energy for what it is and help us find moments of true rest in what would first appear as unlikely moments. 

 

“Habit energy pushes us to run, to always be doing something, to be lost in thoughts of the past or the future and to blame others for our suffering. And that energy does not allow us to be peaceful and happy in the present moment.

Thich Nhat Hanh 

 

Ambitious habit energy

 

Have you ever spent an entire day or more at sea? If so, then you’ll recall that when you returned to dry land and climbed under the sheets to sleep that night, even many hours removed from the ocean, you could still feel the melodic rocking of the boat against the swelling waves. Your whole body felt these subtle rocking sensations even though you were lying in your stable bed. Our ambitious habit energy is like this. Long after our work is done or long before it begins, we feel the tension and struggle of getting things done. We can observe this ever-present tension in our bodies even if we are completely still. 

Ambitious habit energy

I don’t care if you have David Goggins-like work ethic, you need to rest and you know your work will be more precise for it. Watching TV, reading a novel or sleeping are forms of rest, but not the kind of rest we’re discussing here. In all those activities, we are either ignoring or suppressing the autopilot tension of our ambitious state. To truly rest, we need to sit in silence. We need to sit with the sole intention of resting. Only with this deliberate and directed rest can we say to ourselves, ‘I’m turning off my auto-pilot of getting shit done for the day, and now I’m here to rest’. Then, we can observe the tension in our bodies and begin to let go. 

 

The first step is admitting you have a problem habit

 

We’ve all heard of, known someone, or perhaps even experienced ourselves a battle with substance abuse. And anyone with the strength and support to have recovered knows that the first step toward recovery is admitting. Addictions have a lot in common with habits. They both modify the neural pathways in the brain. Thomas Oppong writes, in his article The Neuroscience of Change: How to Change Your Brain to Create Better Habits:

Habits are found in an area of your brain called the basal ganglia. The more often you perform an action or behave a certain way, the more it is physically wired into your brain. This amazing adaptive quality of your brain is known as neuroplasticity. Your brain forms neuronal connections based on what you do repeatedly in your life—both good and bad.

Habits drive our behaviour. The bad ones force our bodies into situations that the conscious mind knows is not good for us. Constantly doing, constantly focusing on outcomes is very much a habit. We first need to recognize it as such. You might be thinking, ‘but being ambitious is a good thing’. Is it a good thing when we’re trying to spend time with our family? Is it a good time when we’re trying to sleep? 

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Mindfulness for rest

Ardent drive can be a good habit for putting money in the bank, but I think we would all agree there is a time and place for it. The problem is that the humming of our engines resounds into our times of rest. We’ve all been at the dinner table with friends or family and let our mind scurry ahead to the following day’s task list. We should strive to be there fully, not just for them, but for ourselves as well. Life is short. Life is full of beauty. We should learn to be there completely to absorb and appreciate it all. Being there for life is just one argument for learning to fold our ‘doing mode’ neatly away; we haven’t even touched upon our physical and mental health. 

“Let us train to live each moment of our daily life deeply. That is why I like to define mindfulness as the energy that helps us to be there 100 percent. It is the energy of your true presence.”

– Thich Nhat Hanh

Sitting in meditation each day, even if for only five minutes, is the optimal time and place to rest. This is the moment to notice bodily tension and let go of it. This is the time to allow yourself to stop gripping and grasping. Be like a stone naturally sinking to the bottom of a riverbed, with no particular influence or agenda, and eventually resting at its final destination while the universe flows externally overhead. Meditation is the ideal time to rest, but we don’t walk around all day with our meditation cushion and incense in tow, now do we? 

The power of cues

We need to train ourselves to see the multitude of ordinary moments in our daily lives that present opportunities for a moment of rest. Not only should we practice recognizing these precious moments for rest so as not to squander them, but we should also associate cues with them, so that they become more automatic—more habitual, much like our pervasive desire to get shit done. 

Reversing habit energy

Charles Duhigg, author of the bestselling book The Power of Habit, based much of his work on a simple and scientifically proven concept: the habit loop. The habit loop describes the behavior pattern of any habit. It starts with a cue, followed by an action or routine, followed by a reward. The first step to changing or acquiring a new habit is identifying the cue. What if we could designate cues to pull us back into the present moment? 

Thich Nhat Hanh speaks of washing the dishes as an ordinary task, which if undertaken with the intent to be mindful can be quite relaxing. The thought of turning an unpleasant task into a pleasant one with just some mindful concentration struck me. I began practicing mindful dishwashing, and with time, I began to associate the dishes with slow, restful movement. Gradually, I began to expand this practice to handwashing and showering. One day I suddenly realized that water in general was beginning to serve me as a cue to be mindful. Even drinking a glass of water is now a firmly rooted reminder for me to pause, take a breath, and connect with the present. 

Reversing ambitious habit energy

Hanh has also written much on the subject of mindful walking. Again, I heeded his advice and began practicing mindful walking as often as possible (this can be a hard habit to acquire because we have spent so much of our lives walking with our minds full, so be patient with yourself). Gradually, I began to associate walking with slowing down, connecting with my surroundings. It began on walks for the sake of walking, but with more practice I began to walk mindfully even on my way to a meeting or heading to the kitchen for a snack. Water and walking. These became my cues to take a few seconds to check in and to rest my monkey mind. 

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Now, think about how many instances throughout the day you walk or interact with water. It’s got to be in the high dozens. Now imagine if in each of these routine actions you became habituated with slowing down for a second, breathing deeply, and unclenching. That’s a whole lot more rest than just the eight hours beneath the sheets. 

When we build this practice of associating ordinary and unmissable cues with mindfulness, we can enjoy more rest amid even the busiest of days. Take time to examine your own ambitious habit energy. The transition between rest and action happens countless times throughout the day, so take some time to recognize this transition so you can arrive in each moment mindfully. Use meditation or quiet reflection as the moment to notice that your engine is still running. Finally, making mindfulness a habit is a difficult thing to do and one that you’ll never perfect, so be patient with yourself and enjoy the process. There is no wasted effort in mindfulness because present awareness, no matter how ephemeral, is a precious thing. 

 

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The Right Effort To Find Peace

The Right Effort To Find Peace

We often think of peace as stillness. We think of tall grass gently swaying in a lakeside breeze, or of sitting in meditation with a waft of incense smoke curling up towards the ceiling. But peace also exists in a state of motion. Peace can even stem from discomfort. Peace is more than the common imagery of pinkish-orange sunsets or a lotus floating serenely on calm water. When we look a little closer at peace in its various forms, as this article intends to do, we see that peace is not an inherent state granted to some and withheld from others. Nor is peace waiting for us on the other side of a long meditation retreat. No, sometimes, we find peace through our ability to act upon that which we can control. Peace is equally our inaction—our inaction in the face of that which we cannot control. 

The Oxford dictionary defines peace as ‘freedom from disturbance; tranquility’ and ‘mental calm; serenity.’

Find Peace

But what’s the opposite of peace? 

The same dictionary provides the antonyms agitation, distress.

Not to focus on the negative, but let’s continue this train of thought. If distress is the opposite of peace, then what causes distress? Perhaps preventing the causes of distress is one way to find peace. Let’s take a look at the first 4 causes of distress as reported by Medical News Today in their article What are the causes and symptoms of emotional distress?:

 

  • feeling overwhelmed, helpless, or hopeless
  • feeling guilty without a clear cause
  • spending a lot of time worrying
  • having difficulty thinking or remembering

Now, it goes without saying that this article is by no means medical advice. See your doctor if you’re experiencing extreme or prolonged distress. But from an actionable philosophy perspective, if we look at these four causes of distress one common remedy jumps to mind: ceasing to focus on what cannot be controlled. In the above list we see words like helpless, overwhelmed, and worrying. We feel helpless when we have no traction and feel overwhelmed when we have too much to do. We worry, often, about future scenarios that are almost always unlikely to play out. Again, the first step to solving all of these problems is to identify uncontrollable variables and then to waste no energy pursuing them, in mind and in body. This way we not only eliminate extraneous worries, but we also zero in on what’s most likely to lead us in the right direction.

You have power over your mind—not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.

– Marcus Aurelius

But how do we identify controllable vs. uncontrollable variables?

When we act with deliberation and careful reflection on the things we do control, we can find peace in knowing that we’ve done all we can. Conversely, when we exert ourselves against the immovable objects that are the things beyond our control, we feel drained, discouraged, and distressed. But how can we identify the things within our control?

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Sometimes, controllable variables are obvious. If I study well for the exam, I will likely receive a higher grade. Here the variable is the amount of time spent studying, which is entirely within our control. Other times, they are less obvious. What if I have exam anxiety during the test? Here the variable is the level of anxiety, which is much more difficult to actively control.

One thing to note about attempting to control variables for a desired outcome is that the worries associated with it usually outnumber the actions you can take. You can see this for yourself if you take a desired outcome of an upcoming project or event and write down all the things you can actually do to ensure it goes well. Then, write down all the worries or potentially bad outcomes, and you’ll likely find that this list is significantly longer than the list of real actions. This long list of undesirable outcomes is like a sinkhole, consuming our focus and diverting our energy away from the right actions.

Singular focus to find peace

It is often one or two simple actions that decrease the chances of the worries from ever becoming real. Exam anxiety. Traffic jams on the way there. Mental block. Surprise questions. Nausea. Headaches. Forgot my calculator… These are all possible distress-causing worries from the above test-taker’s example. But from our vantage point, it’s easy to see that there are only one or two actions our student can take in this scenario: study hard, leave for the exam well in advance. That’s it. By focusing on these actions within our control, we find peace, but we also find confidence, which is surely to have a mitigating effect on all those distress-causing worries. We realize that our singular focus clears the path, and any unexpected obstacles encountered along the way will either be removed by prior preparation or there was nothing we could have done.

How to find peace

Objectively good vs subjectively bad

Another way to approach this early identification of what’s within control and what’s not is to consider the possible outcomes, both good and bad. This simple and imaginative brainstorming (deliberately, on your own terms and not amid the whirlwind of habitual worry) allows us to identify the outcomes we desire and those which we fear. Once you do this, ask yourself which are objectively good and which are subjectively bad. By objectively good I mean a real result that could be observed and classified as good by anyone. By subjectively bad I mean a result that you may perceive as bad, but in reality may be caused by your fears and that may not actually harm you.

Let’s take Sam, our friendly sales associate about to pitch his company’s new service package to a potential client. Objectively good outcome for Sam: the client is convinced that Sam’s company’s services will solve their problems and agrees to pay for their services. Subjectively bad: the client doesn’t like Sam. The client doesn’t like Sam’s appearance. Sam does something embarrassing during the pitch.

If we take a step back and analyze Sam’s potential outcomes, an exercise aided by their new classification of objective or subjective, we notice a few things. First, we see that the objective ones are a matter of fact whereas the subjective ones are more imaginary. Secondly, we see that the objective outcomes are measurable, and therefore actionable, whereas the subjective ones are neither of those things. 

Working backwards

Now Sam has one objective outcome he wants to pursue: demonstrating the problem-solving potential of his services to his prospective client. This is measurable. Either he returns to his office later that afternoon with paperwork to onboard a new client or he does not—1 new client vs. 0 new clients. Now he can work backwards from this one objective. Sam can work to identify the client’s needs. He can make strong associations between the advantages of his services and the client’s desires and work on convincing arguments. 

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He can action all of this without his focus being clouded by immaterial concerns such as his smile, his haircut, or whether or not he’s ‘likeable’. Sam cannot measure whether or not the potential client likes his smile, haircut, or anything else about him for that matter, nor will any of these factors likely affect his desired outcome. Therefore, Sam is much better off allocating little or no effort to these variables.

But how does he prevent those subjectively bad things? I mean, surely he doesn’t want to do anything embarrassing, surely he wants to arrive with a confident smile, right? Of course he does, but the thing about undivided attention on his measurable outcome is that it allows him to arrive more prepared, less frazzled, more confident and therefore convincing. Not only that, but when he has singular focus, he can simply do the work. He can find pleasure in working on the task at hand. He’s already identified the desired outcome in the beginning of his exercise, so now he can let go of it. Now he can enjoy his work, leaving him tranquil, free of disturbance, at peace.

This is but one way to find peace

I want to acknowledge that I’m in no position to define peace or how to seek it for anyone. Peace can be fluid, personal, and transient. I simply wish for this article to show that careful and deliberate action on what we can control is one means of finding peace. I hope that it provides food for thought for anyone who has ever become disillusioned by their meditation, yoga, or exercise practices for failing to provide peace. 

Peace can come in doing what we’re meant to be doing—and doing it with a sense of lighthearted purpose, conviction and undivided focus. Diverting our efforts from swerving into the ditch of uncontrollable variables can also bring peace. With some quiet reflection before embarking on any journey, we can begin to see the path for what it really is—a singular way forward to something real and measurable. Once we know the path, all we can do is follow it as best we can and deal with unexpected bumps when (or if) they meet us. 

We can’t pray our soul into better condition. We’ve got to move and live our way there. It will take our body—our habits, our actions, our rituals, our self care—to get our spirit in the right place, just as it takes our mind and spirit to get our body to the right place.

– Ryan Holiday

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How To Switch Off After Work

How To Switch Off After Work

Many of us are forced to process immense amounts of information everyday at work. Even more of us still are working at jobs that don’t align with our core values. In other words, very few people have the luxury of doing something they truly love. With all the stress, anxiety, effort, and time invested in these somewhat forced endeavors that we call work, it’s easy to allow work to become invasive. It’s unfortunate and yet all too common, especially in today’s information- and data-driven world to let work-related thoughts and worries intrude on our times of rest, namely evenings and weekends. I work in what I would describe as an incredibly fast-paced and demanding environment, so I had to learn techniques to help me switch off after work.

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Switch off after work

1. The 3 things journaling method to switch off after work

At the end of each day (especially imperative on Fridays), simply write down three things that went well and three things that did not go so well or that could be improved upon the following day. Multiple studies have revealed the benefits of getting your thoughts out of your head by putting them on paper. 

 

Courtney E. Ackerman, MSc, writes in her post on positivephyschology.com, 83 Benefits of Journaling for Depression, Anxiety, and Stress:

 

“Journaling can be effective for many different reasons and help you reach a wide range of goals. It can help you clear your head, make important connections between thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, and even buffer or reduce the effects of mental illness!”

 

This 5-minute journaling session is a time to pat yourself on the back for the things that went well. We don’t take enough time to celebrate the mini successes we experience each day. Take a moment to brainstorm potential corrective actions for the things that didn’t go so well. Even if they’re not concrete or exhaustive solutions, this exercise of looking for improvements will lessen the likelihood that you’ll be mulling over these issues in the shower later that evening. 

2. Don’t resist against work-related thoughts

I started to worry a bit when, on weekends, the first thing that would cross my mind upon waking up was something work related. I began to think that this was an unhealthy manifestation of stress and worry. But then it occurred to me that this is perfectly normal and unavoidable. The sheer volume of time and energy I spend working on complex problems at work is the contributing factor to these thoughts (and dreams) on weekends, and is not necessarily indicative of problems with stress or worry.

 

Even artists working on their true passion or philanthropists dedicating their lives to help others will have intrusive thoughts related to their work. Now, when I have projects and deadlines swirling around in my head whilst laying in bed, I simply smile, recognize that the thought is neither good nor bad, but just the natural and understandable workings of my brain. Then, the thought slips away more easily. More importantly, I avoid a stress reaction to what is in reality a harmless thought. It’s worth noting as well that when I began to make habits out of the 7 techniques to switch off after work featured in this article, the frequency and intensity of such bed-time thoughts diminished. 

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3. Landmarking

If you still go to work everyday at a physical location, there is one simple trick you can deploy to create some mental separation from your workplace. Landmarking consists of 3 easy steps:

  1. Identify a physical landmark located at a point beyond which you can no longer see your workplace. It could be around the corner of another building, a tree, your car, or a bus stop. It doesn’t matter what it is, just as long as it represents the threshold after which you can literally no longer see your workplace. 
  2. While approaching this landmark, after your work has finished for the day, do a quick mental recap of your day. You can adapt the first technique from this article by recapping 3 good things and 3 not-so-good things about your day.
  3. Once you reach your landmark, simply turn back, look at your workplace, smile, and give it a little wave goodbye or some form of acknowledgement that you’re leaving it behind. 

And that’s it. It’s incredibly simple, but trust me, this little acknowledgement helps you establish that there is a physical boundary separating you from your work, which works in a wonderful way to build up a mental boundary as well. 

4. Out of sight, out of mind

If you work from home, as so many of us do these days, you can adapt the above technique to your workspace. At the end of the day, make sure that all work-related items are out of sight. If you have a dedicated room in your home for work, this becomes much easier to execute, as you can simply shut the door to that room when work has finished for the day.

However, many of us are forced to transform our living rooms, kitchens, or even bedrooms into mini offices. This is where it’s incredibly important to keep work-related things out of sight. If you don’t have a cabinet or drawers in which you can stuff notebooks, laptops or other reminders, simply get yourself a cardboard box. The act of packing these items away at the end of the day can be a meditative one, where you can also perform a mental recap and acknowledgement of the day’s end. Then, as you’re relaxing with your family in the evening, it will be impossible for you to glance at your work-related notebook and begin to worry about its contents. 

 

Switch off after work

5. Meditate to switch off after work

We write a lot about meditation because it is our most powerful tool for developing a healthy relationship with our thoughts. When you sit down to meditate in the evening, it is likely that at least one work-related thought (but probably many more) will pop into your head. This is neither good nor bad. In fact, maybe it’s beneficial to sit with these inevitable thoughts in a more controlled situation, where you can observe them non-judgmentally. It’s a chance for you to process them on your own time. Coupled with the relaxing benefit of mindful breathing, your meditation time becomes a time for unwinding and processing. 

 

Developing the ability to see thoughts for what they really are (harmless) as they arise in the moment is much like building a muscle or acquiring a skill. It takes practice, and the more you practice, the more you’ll have a healthy relationship with your work-related thoughts as they arise in times when they are unwelcome. Meditation is perhaps the most essential technique to help you switch off after work. 

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6. Be mindful of social time with colleagues when you need to switch off after work

Gaining social relationships as a result of your career is a wonderful thing. I’ve personally made some life-long friends through my work. But there is one thing I noticed about nearly every social interaction with my colleagues/friends: we always discuss work. This is not necessarily a bad thing, and I’m not advising you to cut off contact with your colleagues outside of working hours. However, if you’re feeling exceptionally stressed about work, or finding yourself over-thinking about work during your personal time, then you might want to take the preventative measure of politely declining social interactions with colleagues during that period. Your friends from work are one of the greatest benefits of having a job, but just be aware that they can also be living, breathing reminders of work, so just be mindful of this in times of excessive stress or anxiety. 

 

7. Recognize the difference between rest and action

 

This is one of our fundamental principles at The Mindful Stoic. We believe that nearly all our time can be categorized as either rest or action. Action is when there is a distinct goal or outcome we are trying to achieve, something that is unavoidable, and even attractive to many people. Then, rest is any time where there is no goal or desired outcome; spending time with family or watching a movie, for example. It’s important to recognize this on a macro level, but for this technique to help you switch off after work, let’s focus on the micro. 

 

Distinguishing between rest and action on the micro level means constantly asking yourself throughout the day, ‘is this action or is this rest?’ In your morning routine, which I hope consists of some self care activity such as meditation, journaling, exercise, or whatever it may be, is a time of rest. When we recognize this, we can approach it with the intent to rest. Another great example of this is showering. 

 

If I simply hop in the shower directly after working on something, I will bathe and wash, certainly, but I will also be thinking a thousand thoughts, many of which are goal-oriented. However, if right before I enter the shower, I remind myself that I am switching into rest mode, then I can turn my shower time into a meditative, restful experience, perhaps even massaging my scalp and neck a bit to relieve some stress, taking deep breaths, etc. 

 

Enter the situation with the right intent

 

Conversely, when I sit down to work or to create something, I can acknowledge that I am entering into action mode. Then, I can arrive into the situation with the right intent for accomplishing my goal. I can ask myself, ‘what am I trying to achieve?’, ‘what is the most effective way for me to conduct myself’, etc. In essence, by recognizing that you’re entering into an outcome-based situation, you enter into it with maximum focus. 

 

Final word

 

Developing the mindfulness skill of recognizing this fundamental difference between almost any activity has a profound impact on our ability to switch off after work, because you can find moments of rest throughout the day; while eating lunch, speaking to a colleague about your weekend plans, or going for a walk. Then, during the evening and weekend, you realize again that you’re resting and arrive with a mindset that is conducive to rest. 

 

The most important thing to remember about all of these techniques is that they take practice. Furthermore, we need to develop ways to turn these into habits, so that they become automatic. An excellent book that can help you turn techniques into habits is Atomic Habits by James Clear. Finally, remember that thoughts are only harmful when we have a stress reaction to them. So the next time you’re incessantly thinking about work during your off time, remember to simply acknowledge the thought as natural and harmless. 

 

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Thich Nhat Hanh Walking Meditation

Thich Nhat Hanh Walking Meditation

We walk all the time, but how many of us walk effortlessly? When was the last time you experienced pleasure from the simple act of walking? Walking is an opportune moment to be truly in the now. Taking one step followed by another is a powerful yet simple exercise to establish yourself in the present moment. When you walk mindfully, you are free from all expectations and worries. I learned all of this from the late Zen Buddhist monk and mindfulness teacher, Thich Nhat Hanh. I hope that my descriptions of Thich Nhat Hanh walking meditation add value to your mindfulness practice.

 

In this article, we’ll explore certain themes of Thich Nhat Hanh walking meditation, and describe a step-by-step walking meditation you can try.

 

What is walking meditation? 

 

Walking meditation is the practice of bringing present-moment awareness to the movement, surroundings, and sensations associated with walking. 

 

A guide to Thich Nhat Hanh walking meditation

 

Hanh has written so much about mindful walking that certain ‘flavors’ or themes emerge. Here are some that I’ve observed: 

 

1.  Mindful walking should be effortless. Normally, walking is only difficult because we’re walking with our minds in the past or future. Walking only with your feet is actually quite relaxing. 

2.  Cultivate a feeling of freedom when practicing walking meditation. Be free of all commitments and projects and simply experience connection to this wondrous planet. 

3.  Walking meditation is a time to ‘touch the Earth’. We can enhance our connection to nature by simply reaching out and touching a flower, a tree trunk, or by feeling cool blades of grass on the soles of our feet. 

4.  We smile, or at least half-smile, when practicing Thich Nhat Hanh walking meditation. 

5.  Start by stopping. To begin a mindful walking exercise, simply stop first. 

“If we can’t rest, it’s because we haven’t stopped running. We began running a long time ago. We continue to run, even in our sleep. We think that happiness and well-being aren’t possible in the present. If you can stop and establish yourself in the here and now, you will see that there are many elements of happiness available in this moment, more than enough to be happy.”

– Thich Nhat Hanh

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Step-by-step walking meditation guide

 

1.  Start with one deep inhalation followed by a full exhalation. This mindful breath will serve as a signal that you are about to practice mindful walking as opposed to our usual inattentive walking.

2.  Then, focus on the soles of your feet. Breathe “into” them, relax them. Consider the connection to the earth. Be grateful for the support the earth provides. 

3.  Be aware of your surroundings. Are there people? If so, acknowledge them with loving kindness. Are there any hazards? If so, avoid them cautiously.

4.  Check in with your posture. Are you slouching? Is your head pointing downward or upright? Do you feel alignment with your hips and spine? Don’t be judgemental if or when you find flaws in your posture. Simply acknowledge.

5.  Adjust your posture. Sure, I just said you shouldn’t be harsh on yourself about your posture, but it doesn’t mean you can’t make adjustments.

“People assume their confidence is coming from their own thoughts. They don’t realize their posture is affecting how much they believe in what they’re thinking.” 

– Richard Petty, professor of psychology at Ohio State University and co-author of the study Body Posture Affects Confidence In Your Own Thoughts

6.  Imagine that with each step, you are printing your gratitude or other intention on the ground.

7.  Continue to walk with ease, more slowly than normal and freely. With each step, feel the ground against the weight of your body, and say to yourself ‘I am fully in the present moment’.

8.  Find your rhythm. Concentrate on your pace and see if you can keep it steady, slow, and even. Try to find harmony between your joints, muscles, and your breath.

Man walking through a forest in sunset to represent an article about Thich Nhat Hanh walking meditation

Another Thich Nhat Hanh walking meditation instruction

 

This is one of my favorite Thich Nhat Hanh walking meditation techniques: Measure your breath in footsteps. 

 

1.  As you walk leisurely, perhaps in a green, natural place, allow your breath to settle into its natural rhythm. 

2.  Then, count the length of your breath using the number of footsteps. 

3.  Continue like this for some time, without altering the breath. 

4.  Then, Thich Nhat Hanh recommends lengthening the exhalation by one step. Don’t worry about the inhalation right away. Observe if there is the desire to lengthen the inhalation. 

5.  Lengthen your exhalation by one step more, and see if your inhalation would also like to follow.

The wonder of the path 

 

Thich Nhat Hanh teaches that walking meditation is about the path, not the destination. We’ve all seen a quote on Instagram or a motivational poster to this effect. Walking meditation is the implementation of this idea. Step by step, we acknowledge the path. We can use this time to contemplate and feel that life happens in the process, not the results. Mindful walking strengthens our connection with the path—with the process, which may have positive effects on our work, but will definitely have positive effects on our lives. 

 

 

“When you walk like this, you print your stability, your solidarity, your freedom, your joy on the ground”.

– Thich Nhat Hanh 

 

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How To Get Over Your Fear Of Judgment

How To Get Over Your Fear Of Judgment

When was the last time you judged someone? Let’s be honest. I’ll bet that you judged someone today. You probably didn’t even notice, and that’s entirely natural. Judgment of others is part of our evolution. We need value judgments to align ourselves with people who will promote our survival and stay away from those who may harm us. But now that we live in relatively safe and low-stakes environments, our psychological distress from the judgment of others can feel more prominent and invasive. In this article, I’ll share some mindfulness and Stoicism-based concepts to help you get over your fear of judgment.

 

An exercise to reduce your fear of judgment

 

On a piece of paper, write a list of your core values on the left side of the page. These may include family, health, compassion, peace, education… Then, on the right side of the page, write down your goals, plans, aspirations, daily actions; basically anything that requires effort to accomplish. 

 

Now, draw lines to connect your values to your actions. Are there any gaps where an action doesn’t align with a value? Are there some actions that align with multiple values? This is a good way to examine how your aspirations align with your values, which is a powerful thought exercise, because aspirations that are closely connected to core values will be backed by an immense reserve of motivation, will power, and conviction. Aspirations with no foundation in values will not benefit from the propulsion of true motivation. 

 

If we act according to our values, we act with conviction and we foster true motivation. If our speech and actions in a social environment are closely aligned with our core values, then these words and actions will be more immune to the criticism of others. Unfounded criticism and judgment will be more easily ignored. Helpful criticism will be embraced and implemented. 

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How to get over fear of judgment at work

 

Many of us are not fortunate enough to be working in our dream jobs, and our jobs don’t always align with our core values. To make matters worse, the workplace is an environment that’s ripe with judgment and criticism. 

 

One way around this is to separate the ego entirely from your work life, or to forge a ‘work ego’ and a ‘life ego’. Much like the identification of values, it’s useful to identify the roles in your life that add meaning. What are the roles in your life that fill you with pride? They could include son, daughter, father, mother, friend, neighbor, volunteer, traveler, etc. 

 

Once you identify the roles that make up who you are, you’ll notice that they are quite distinct from your role as accountant, sales person, client data manager, etc. This exercise of separating your roles from your work life helps you conduct yourself within the workplace with a higher level of immunity against judgment and criticism. When you make mistakes at work or find yourself at the center of some embarrassment, you can be reassured by the fact that it was not you in your deepest form that made the mistake, or at least not the you that is aligned with your deepest and most cherished values. 

 

Reduce your fear of judgment by finding your purpose

 

A hobby should be either social, charitable, educational or creative. 

 

If you can find a hobby that fits the above definition and aligns with your core values, you can begin to take immense pride in your actions from a source other than your job. In essence, if your job doesn’t make you feel like you’re making a difference or contributing anything of value to society, then you can either complain about it and feel sorry for yourself, or you can carve out one hour a day to work on something that you truly value. 

 

This has a twofold benefit. On the one hand, you’re working toward something that gives your true self a sense of pride and accomplishment. On the other hand, you stop looking at your job to provide that sense of satisfaction, which ultimately makes you more immune to any negative judgment or experience that happens there.

 

Acknowledge your fear of judgment

 

Try to notice when you are judging others. We’ve been taught to view pre-judgment as a bad thing. Your quick judgment of others is natural and rooted in our evolution. As long as you’re kind and compassionate, your initial judgments will be shaped and molded by your future interactions with that person. 

It’s okay to judge a book by its cover as long as you eventually read the book and allow that experience to form your initial judgment into a new, more informed one. 

How To Get Over Your Fear Of Judgment

Accept your fear of judgment

 

Now that you’ve practiced observing your own judgment of others, take a moment to reflect on and accept the fact that others will be doing the same to you. They are not doing this out of hatred or malevolence; rather it is an innate characteristic that all humans share. Accepting the fact that others judge you and knowing that their ultimate opinions of you exist independently of how you see yourself will eventually help you get over your fear of judgment. 

 

Try this exercise to help reduce fear of judgment

 

Here’s a beneficial and fun exercise: ask someone a ‘stupid’ question on purpose. For example, at a vegan restaurant, you could ask the server ‘so you really don’t have any meat options?’ Surely, this person will give you a strange look and will make sweeping judgments about you. Make sure you do this seriously and don’t treat it as a joke. When you set yourself up and willingly accept negative judgment from others in this way, you have a unique and controlled vantage point from which you can observe it and notice how harmless it really is.

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Be compassionate

 

The more we practice compassion and empathy towards others, the more they will see us in this light as well. Conversely, if we are unnecessarily negative and astringent in our judgments of others, this will manifest itself in a form of paranoia where we expect the same mean-spirited judgment from others.

 

 

Slow down to reduce your fear of judgment

 

It may not seem obvious that slowing down could have a positive effect on our fear of judgment, but many of our fears stemming from our modern, social environments are ill-founded and arise simply because we transition too quickly from one experience to another. 

 

By slowing our actions and our speech, we allow ourselves brief moments of reflection where we can process information from our environment. In doing so, we can see the true nature behind things that we perceive to be harmful. The true nature is often that other peoples’ actions or words are not intended to harm us, or even if they are, they actually have no negative consequences in our lives. A moment of reflection and perspective is a powerful instrument against many perceived threats, including the judgment of others. 

 

If you pause and digest the practices and insights shared in this article, you may notice that they are all enabled by one thing: mindfulness. The ability to acknowledge a situation or a stimulus is enabled by the ability to pause and breathe. The ability to accept negative things as they are comes from the practice of sitting with our emotions and accepting them as they ebb and flow. Also, a true practitioner of mindfulness and Stoicism leverages pen and paper to resolve issues as complex as the dissatisfaction with one’s job and their relationship with their own ego and values. 

 

All of this takes practice. Even something as humanly innate as the fear of judgment can be softened or even removed with practice, persistence, patience, and positive thinking. 

Further reading

Learn more about overcoming fear of judgment by reading our article How To Care Less About What Others Think Of You or our article on generalized fear How To Accept Fear: 5 Truths About Fear To Help You Advance Despite Fear.

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