Once upon a time, there was a pair of traveling acrobats. One was a seasoned veteran, while the other was a budding apprentice. The teacher was a poor widower. The student was a young girl named Meda.
They would travel from town to town, performing in the streets to earn enough to eat. It would take them hours to navigate the narrow streets of the old towns, pushing and pulling on the long bamboo poles they used for their aerial stunts—guiding them one way and then another like a needle and thread through tough fabric.
Eventually, they would arrive at a city square where they would anchor their poles as best they could. Then, the performance would begin.
Meda would climb to the top of the highest poles where she would tumble, balance, and swing to the amazement of spectators. Despite all this risk and effort, the duo struggled to earn enough money.
One day, the teacher said to the apprentice, “We need to take more risks. We need to shock the people. To do this, we must focus fully on each other. I will watch you with all my attention to make sure you don’t fall, and you will do the same for me.”
Meda pondered the proposal, and after a pause, replied, “I think we must focus on ourselves. I will focus on myself with my full attention to make sure I don’t fall, and you will do the same for yourself.”
Meda’s words that day were the wisest.
A short story about The Dichotomy of Control
Meda’s words were the wisest because she understood that her partner’s actions were not within her control, and were therefore not worthy of her focused attention. Conversely, her own actions were entirely within her control, and therefore in need of her attention.
She understood the Stoic practice called The Dichotomy of Control, which simply entails identifying that which is within and outside of your sphere of influence. We accept what we can control and give it our full attention. We gracefully discard or let go of what we cannot control.